Deschooling ending or what?
megamom08
We have been very relaxed unschoolers from the beginning,back in
February, interspersed with occasional panic attacks from me,
wondering if I truly trust my daughter to learn what she "needs" to.
Been looking through the scope and sequence-type books, trying to
guestimate if she is on track with her peers. She came out of 4th
grade public school by request. Just when I finally start to relax in
my mind, she tells me that she wants more leading and input from me.
She said I have been leaving her alone too much. She is an ADHD type
that was burning out badly in school, and I didn't want to pressure
her at all. SO maybe it is her interest for me to be more of a
teacher than I have been? What's the worse that can happen, we can be
more structured and she can decide that she was wrong? Does anyone
else have a child that wants more direction? Is she just still
deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone doesn't
hand her the material? Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way? Does she just need time to
trust how natural learning occurs? Please advise me if you can! She
is also kinesthetic-type learner I think, she doesn't want to do
drills or worksheets with paper and pencil, we brainstormed that
making a Price is Right-type game would be more exciting for her, she
is constantly wanting to move around. Any advice that you think may
be helpful would be greatly appreciated!
February, interspersed with occasional panic attacks from me,
wondering if I truly trust my daughter to learn what she "needs" to.
Been looking through the scope and sequence-type books, trying to
guestimate if she is on track with her peers. She came out of 4th
grade public school by request. Just when I finally start to relax in
my mind, she tells me that she wants more leading and input from me.
She said I have been leaving her alone too much. She is an ADHD type
that was burning out badly in school, and I didn't want to pressure
her at all. SO maybe it is her interest for me to be more of a
teacher than I have been? What's the worse that can happen, we can be
more structured and she can decide that she was wrong? Does anyone
else have a child that wants more direction? Is she just still
deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone doesn't
hand her the material? Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way? Does she just need time to
trust how natural learning occurs? Please advise me if you can! She
is also kinesthetic-type learner I think, she doesn't want to do
drills or worksheets with paper and pencil, we brainstormed that
making a Price is Right-type game would be more exciting for her, she
is constantly wanting to move around. Any advice that you think may
be helpful would be greatly appreciated!
Joan Wilson
<Does anyone
else have a child that wants more direction?>
My son thought he wanted that at one time.
< Is she just still
deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone doesn't
hand her the material?>
Probably - she is used to school and has been told time and time again "you
need to know this...so you can grow up and get a good job and be a good
adult and survive"
<Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way?>
We did that with an ISP -- it was after we stopped doing that that my son
thought he needed "to be taught". We did a lot more talking about it and
decided that we would continue to talk about what he needs and it would all
work out. We still don't do anything like school at home. He no longer
thinks he needs to be "taught something just to be being taught something".
He is starting to understand when HE really does need to learn something,
and takes the time to learn it whether or not it is taught to him by some
one.
There was one other time he said he thought that he might go to middle
school. I asked what he thought he would be missing. It came down to a
couple of his friends that want to homeschool were telling him that he
should go to middle school with them because it was fun and if he didn't go
to school that he wouldn't graduate or get a diploma and then wouldn't be
able to work or get a good job. He didn't think he would be missing anything
since there are other avenues for the things that he may want to do and he
really wouldn't miss the homework that would go along with all the other
stuff that school has to offer. And trips to the beach is not offered
during school hours or in school at all.
< Does she just need time to
trust how natural learning occurs? >
Could be.
It may take time -- no one knows how much; maybe a year or two. It will
happen, lots happens, it is unbelievable. It is 20/20 hindsight :).
It was almost 2 years after leaving school that my son has started to read
books for the pleasure of it again. A 3rd grade teacher had squelched it by
stressing reading for points. She told him to read the harder more
interesting book at home and read lots of the easy books at school so he
could get more points. He left reading altogether. But, like I said now he
reads -- to his little brother (stories he enjoyed me reading to him), to
himself the more challenging books and also some magazines and internet for
research on games and such or information or interesting articles. The
metamorphosis has been amazing.
Relax and eventually she will too. And talk to her, again and again.
Enjoy,
Joan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
else have a child that wants more direction?>
My son thought he wanted that at one time.
< Is she just still
deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone doesn't
hand her the material?>
Probably - she is used to school and has been told time and time again "you
need to know this...so you can grow up and get a good job and be a good
adult and survive"
<Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way?>
We did that with an ISP -- it was after we stopped doing that that my son
thought he needed "to be taught". We did a lot more talking about it and
decided that we would continue to talk about what he needs and it would all
work out. We still don't do anything like school at home. He no longer
thinks he needs to be "taught something just to be being taught something".
He is starting to understand when HE really does need to learn something,
and takes the time to learn it whether or not it is taught to him by some
one.
There was one other time he said he thought that he might go to middle
school. I asked what he thought he would be missing. It came down to a
couple of his friends that want to homeschool were telling him that he
should go to middle school with them because it was fun and if he didn't go
to school that he wouldn't graduate or get a diploma and then wouldn't be
able to work or get a good job. He didn't think he would be missing anything
since there are other avenues for the things that he may want to do and he
really wouldn't miss the homework that would go along with all the other
stuff that school has to offer. And trips to the beach is not offered
during school hours or in school at all.
< Does she just need time to
trust how natural learning occurs? >
Could be.
It may take time -- no one knows how much; maybe a year or two. It will
happen, lots happens, it is unbelievable. It is 20/20 hindsight :).
It was almost 2 years after leaving school that my son has started to read
books for the pleasure of it again. A 3rd grade teacher had squelched it by
stressing reading for points. She told him to read the harder more
interesting book at home and read lots of the easy books at school so he
could get more points. He left reading altogether. But, like I said now he
reads -- to his little brother (stories he enjoyed me reading to him), to
himself the more challenging books and also some magazines and internet for
research on games and such or information or interesting articles. The
metamorphosis has been amazing.
Relax and eventually she will too. And talk to her, again and again.
Enjoy,
Joan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sage_tanstaafl
> Just when I finally start to relax inme.
> my mind, she tells me that she wants more leading and input from
That is exactly what is supposed to happen in this transition,
right? They get bored and eventually come out of it on their own
with their own motivation and initiation. From what I've heard, this
happens to every kid that is going from teacher-directed to self-
directed. It sounds like you're doing a great job!
-Em
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/17/02 4:40:22 PM, megamom08@... writes:
<< he said I have been leaving her alone too much. . . . .SO maybe it is her
interest for me to be more of a
teacher than I have been? >>
There's a HUGE range between leaving people alone too much and "being a
teacher" to them.
You can spend all day every day with her and never be teacherly.
<<What's the worse that can happen, we can be
more structured and she can decide that she was wrong?>>
The worst thing that can happen is that some ofthe same damage school can do,
moms at home can do.
<<Is she just still deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone
doesn't
hand her the material?>>>
Undoubtedly that's part of it. Handing her material won't bring her closer
to the goal, then.
<<Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way?>>
Does she need to cut herself on scissors to learn that it's not just knives
that can cut? If school wasn't the best way, school at home is just another
version of that.
<<Does she just need time to trust how natural learning occurs? >>
Not time so much as experience in learning naturally.
<<She
is also kinesthetic-type learner I think, she doesn't want to do
drills or worksheets with paper and pencil, we brainstormed that
making a Price is Right-type game would be more exciting for her, she
is constantly wanting to move around. >>
Making a game for her would still be "doing school." Why not just turn the
TV on and watch the Price is Right??? Or go to the mall and guess prices
with her and then look at the price tags.
Sandra
<< he said I have been leaving her alone too much. . . . .SO maybe it is her
interest for me to be more of a
teacher than I have been? >>
There's a HUGE range between leaving people alone too much and "being a
teacher" to them.
You can spend all day every day with her and never be teacherly.
<<What's the worse that can happen, we can be
more structured and she can decide that she was wrong?>>
The worst thing that can happen is that some ofthe same damage school can do,
moms at home can do.
<<Is she just still deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone
doesn't
hand her the material?>>>
Undoubtedly that's part of it. Handing her material won't bring her closer
to the goal, then.
<<Does she need a "school at home experiment" to
show her that it is not the best way?>>
Does she need to cut herself on scissors to learn that it's not just knives
that can cut? If school wasn't the best way, school at home is just another
version of that.
<<Does she just need time to trust how natural learning occurs? >>
Not time so much as experience in learning naturally.
<<She
is also kinesthetic-type learner I think, she doesn't want to do
drills or worksheets with paper and pencil, we brainstormed that
making a Price is Right-type game would be more exciting for her, she
is constantly wanting to move around. >>
Making a game for her would still be "doing school." Why not just turn the
TV on and watch the Price is Right??? Or go to the mall and guess prices
with her and then look at the price tags.
Sandra
Fetteroll
on 5/17/02 6:38 PM, megamom08 at megamom08@... wrote:
if you're checking scopes and sequences, you're expecting her to learn on
her own what the experts think she needs to. What *she* needs to learn are
the skills and knowledge to pursue the things that interest her.
She may not be asking for you to be a teacher so much as a partner, though
the only way she knows how to ask is to ask you to lead her. Are you
exploring and discovering the world together? Reading books together?
Watching movies together? Going places together? Are you her facilitator?
Are you actively strewing her path with opportunities? What are your days
like?
direction but what they want is help setting up a schedule. You could talk
to her about what her goals (any goals, not just academic) are, talk about
ways to acheive them and help her set up a schedule. (*If* that's what she's
asking for.) Then talk to her about it after a week to see how things are
going, what might need changed or tweaked, or whether the whole thing needs
scrapped.
Joyce
> wondering if I truly trust my daughter to learn what she "needs" to.Perhaps if you word it as "learn what *she* needs to" it will help. I think
if you're checking scopes and sequences, you're expecting her to learn on
her own what the experts think she needs to. What *she* needs to learn are
the skills and knowledge to pursue the things that interest her.
> Just when I finally start to relax inWhat does she mean by alone?
> my mind, she tells me that she wants more leading and input from me.
> She said I have been leaving her alone too much.
She may not be asking for you to be a teacher so much as a partner, though
the only way she knows how to ask is to ask you to lead her. Are you
exploring and discovering the world together? Reading books together?
Watching movies together? Going places together? Are you her facilitator?
Are you actively strewing her path with opportunities? What are your days
like?
> Does anyoneSome kids do like having their days more scheduled. They may ask for
> else have a child that wants more direction?
direction but what they want is help setting up a schedule. You could talk
to her about what her goals (any goals, not just academic) are, talk about
ways to acheive them and help her set up a schedule. (*If* that's what she's
asking for.) Then talk to her about it after a week to see how things are
going, what might need changed or tweaked, or whether the whole thing needs
scrapped.
Joyce
[email protected]
Recently I noticed that Emily was "looking for structure" She was asking
"What are we doing today/tomorrow/the next day/etc.? Are we going anywhere
t/t/tnd?" She asked EVERY day a couple of times. I think If we were still
battling that mindset that school is the way to learn, I may have tried to
add school, thinking that school and structure are synonomous. We decided to
discuss on Sunday evenings, our plans for the week. We decided to set up
more playdates. I told her that at least once a week we'll go someplace new
and interesting. One week we went to a farm (We are very big on farms) the
next week we went to Lilypons' Water Plant nursery, this week we're going to
see SPIDERMAN!! Woo Hoo!
Anyway, All she wanted was a little knowledge of what was happening and a
voice in making those decisions. Not more School Structure, but more fun
things to do. More interesting outings.
I can do that.
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein
"What are we doing today/tomorrow/the next day/etc.? Are we going anywhere
t/t/tnd?" She asked EVERY day a couple of times. I think If we were still
battling that mindset that school is the way to learn, I may have tried to
add school, thinking that school and structure are synonomous. We decided to
discuss on Sunday evenings, our plans for the week. We decided to set up
more playdates. I told her that at least once a week we'll go someplace new
and interesting. One week we went to a farm (We are very big on farms) the
next week we went to Lilypons' Water Plant nursery, this week we're going to
see SPIDERMAN!! Woo Hoo!
Anyway, All she wanted was a little knowledge of what was happening and a
voice in making those decisions. Not more School Structure, but more fun
things to do. More interesting outings.
I can do that.
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein
rumpleteasermom
I have one who *needs* structure. He needs more than I can possibly
give him so he gets it from my mother in the form of "school" which is
a certain time of day that he spends with her doing whatever they do
over there. I know he is choosing the subject matter because my
mother is simply not that interested in trains! He is, however, an
extremely complicated case.
It sounds to me like yours just needs a a little help in figure out
what she wants to do. Does she know the options? what's available?
etc. Maybe what she really needs is to sit down with you and figure
out what SHE wants to do. Discussion can go a long way toward
allaying any fears she may have about not being like the other kids
and not learning what they are learning in school.
But I think it is very important to remember that every child is
different. What works for two of mine is an absolute disaster with
the third one. As a parent, you need to figure out what YOUR child
needs and follow that guideline.
Bridget
give him so he gets it from my mother in the form of "school" which is
a certain time of day that he spends with her doing whatever they do
over there. I know he is choosing the subject matter because my
mother is simply not that interested in trains! He is, however, an
extremely complicated case.
It sounds to me like yours just needs a a little help in figure out
what she wants to do. Does she know the options? what's available?
etc. Maybe what she really needs is to sit down with you and figure
out what SHE wants to do. Discussion can go a long way toward
allaying any fears she may have about not being like the other kids
and not learning what they are learning in school.
But I think it is very important to remember that every child is
different. What works for two of mine is an absolute disaster with
the third one. As a parent, you need to figure out what YOUR child
needs and follow that guideline.
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "megamom08" <megamom08@a...> wrote:
Just when I finally start to relax
in
> my mind, she tells me that she wants more leading and input from me.
> She said I have been leaving her alone too much. She is an ADHD type
> that was burning out badly in school, and I didn't want to pressure
> her at all. SO maybe it is her interest for me to be more of a
> teacher than I have been? What's the worse that can happen, we can
be
> more structured and she can decide that she was wrong? Does anyone
> else have a child that wants more direction? Is she just still
> deschooling, thinking that she is not learning if someone doesn't
> hand her the material? Does she need a "school at home experiment"
to
> show her that it is not the best way? Does she just need time to
> trust how natural learning occurs?
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/18/02 1:03:17 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Some kids do like having their days more scheduled. They may ask for
direction but what they want is help setting up a schedule. >>
Yes.
I have one that really likes to know what is happening the next day. He used
to like having his clothes laid out the night before when he was little.
His need for "structure" just means a knowledge of some schedule of
events....which I am not very good at.
I really believe a child that needs structure, simply needs knowledge of
upcoming plans, an understanding of the planes for the week.
I don't believe that means unschooling doesn't work for them. It works for
all kids in my very passionate opinion.
School at home or otherwise is NOT the answer.
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< Some kids do like having their days more scheduled. They may ask for
direction but what they want is help setting up a schedule. >>
Yes.
I have one that really likes to know what is happening the next day. He used
to like having his clothes laid out the night before when he was little.
His need for "structure" just means a knowledge of some schedule of
events....which I am not very good at.
I really believe a child that needs structure, simply needs knowledge of
upcoming plans, an understanding of the planes for the week.
I don't believe that means unschooling doesn't work for them. It works for
all kids in my very passionate opinion.
School at home or otherwise is NOT the answer.
Ren
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., starsuncloud@c... wrote:
but he also needs the majority of his days to be the same. If we do
too much and go too many places and disrupt his schedule too many
times, no matter how good we are about telling him exactly where we
are going and when, hw still has problems from it. I think there is a
whole spectrum of kids and they range from those who don't care if
they know what is happening in the next minute to thise who need
sameness and structure in their lives.
Bridget
> I really believe a child that needs structure, simply needsknowledge of
> upcoming plans, an understanding of the planes for the week.Wyndham needs more than that. He needs to know what is going on daily
but he also needs the majority of his days to be the same. If we do
too much and go too many places and disrupt his schedule too many
times, no matter how good we are about telling him exactly where we
are going and when, hw still has problems from it. I think there is a
whole spectrum of kids and they range from those who don't care if
they know what is happening in the next minute to thise who need
sameness and structure in their lives.
Bridget
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/17/02 8:43:31 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
sage_tanstaafl@... writes:
appreciated!
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sage_tanstaafl@... writes:
> From what I've heard, thisthank you! We are still fairly new to this, so the encouragement is
> happens to every kid that is going from teacher-directed to self-
> directed. It sounds like you're doing a great job!
>
> -Em
>
>
>
appreciated!
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/18/02 2:58:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
wants to make some spelling words of her choosing, like words that she has
asked me the definitions of, or multiplication facts, that her grandmother
has been regularly drilling her on, to my dismay. She loves gameshows, and
The Price is Right was the first thing I could think to liken it to. She
wants to make index cards, and have fun sorting them whatever way she feels
inclined to, on the wall. She wants us to get some chalkboard paint and make
a big board in the basement (a huge finished room that has been designated
the schoolroom, with plenty of space and bookshelves and games and toys and
tv/vcr/dvd, but has overflowed into every room of the house LOL) to play at,
she wants to "teach" her almost 3yo sister. In fact, she wants to read aloud
to her sister, and gets frustrated when little sister won't stay in one place
on the floor and listen, she wants to climb in her lap, talk about the
pictures, etc. That lead to an interesting conversation about how that
"method of schooling/teaching" didn't work for her, and she can't expect her
naturally curious sister to want to Sit Still and Pay Attention!!!! But, I
digress :0) I am not trying to make her a game to trick her into learning,
she is "kinesthetic" from what I have gathered, and I encourage her to play
and learn whatever delights her. Please continue to provide opinions and
feedback, I always welcome different perspectives on this list! Thanks again!
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Making a game for her would still be "doing school." Why not just turn theAs always, appreciate your feedback. It wouldn't be a "pricing game", she
> TV on and watch the Price is Right??? Or go to the mall and guess prices
> with her and then look at the price tags.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
>
>
wants to make some spelling words of her choosing, like words that she has
asked me the definitions of, or multiplication facts, that her grandmother
has been regularly drilling her on, to my dismay. She loves gameshows, and
The Price is Right was the first thing I could think to liken it to. She
wants to make index cards, and have fun sorting them whatever way she feels
inclined to, on the wall. She wants us to get some chalkboard paint and make
a big board in the basement (a huge finished room that has been designated
the schoolroom, with plenty of space and bookshelves and games and toys and
tv/vcr/dvd, but has overflowed into every room of the house LOL) to play at,
she wants to "teach" her almost 3yo sister. In fact, she wants to read aloud
to her sister, and gets frustrated when little sister won't stay in one place
on the floor and listen, she wants to climb in her lap, talk about the
pictures, etc. That lead to an interesting conversation about how that
"method of schooling/teaching" didn't work for her, and she can't expect her
naturally curious sister to want to Sit Still and Pay Attention!!!! But, I
digress :0) I am not trying to make her a game to trick her into learning,
she is "kinesthetic" from what I have gathered, and I encourage her to play
and learn whatever delights her. Please continue to provide opinions and
feedback, I always welcome different perspectives on this list! Thanks again!
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/18/02 5:51:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
fetteroll@... writes:
this thing about "alone". In our old cape cod house a year ago, she had a
bedroom upstairs while our bedroom was downstairs. She hated going up there
to play, sleep, etc. I basically let her do whatever she wants, and at first
I was "worried" because she would only seem motivated for "real learning" in
spurts, then I read how children learn in waves, sometimes taking longer
periods to process and reflect, and they are still learning whether it shows
from the outside. I have not shared any of these concerns with her, just
wanted her to be free of pressure. We don't watch much tv, she doesn't read a
full book by herself, she would rather I read aloud to her (and I have, but
want to more than I have), she leaves a lot of "projects" and books
unfinished, but that's normal, I hope? When we started in February, she had
an interest in learning French. We (okay, I) kind of went a *little*
overboard, buying up books, getting materials from the library, almost making
a unit of it. We learned about Impressionists, went to the museum, which she
begged to do, but hasn't really done more than learn some numbers and common
phrases. I was enjoying it, because I retained some of my 3 years of high
school french, because i did learn most of it by interest. So maybe she had
all she needed of it for now, and I let it go. The same for a few other
topics. But now she liked it "better" when we got up on a schedule, and I was
giving her a plan to follow and materials to explore. It was by no means
"school at home". We do a lot together, I probably overdo it with leaving
things strewn about (especially laundry LOL LOL my house hasn't been the same
since bringing her home), but i still think she expects us to sit at a table
and "learn". My next question: does anyone explain what unschooling is to
their kids, do their kids ever question why things are so unstructured? This
probably would only apply to the ex-schooled children who are learning the
concept of "natural" learning right along with their self-conscious moms!!
Should I try to explain what I have read by Holt, or that I was mistaken in
assuming that schooling was necessary to learn? I haven't really explained
it to her, would that help alleviate her need to play school? Or just keep
going with the flow~~~~~~~~~
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
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fetteroll@... writes:
> What does she mean by alone?Thank you Joyce, for some great questions and answers. She has always had
>
> She may not be asking for you to be a teacher so much as a partner, though
> the only way she knows how to ask is to ask you to lead her. Are you
> exploring and discovering the world together? Reading books together?
> Watching movies together? Going places together? Are you her facilitator?
> Are you actively strewing her path with opportunities? What are your days
> like?
>
>
this thing about "alone". In our old cape cod house a year ago, she had a
bedroom upstairs while our bedroom was downstairs. She hated going up there
to play, sleep, etc. I basically let her do whatever she wants, and at first
I was "worried" because she would only seem motivated for "real learning" in
spurts, then I read how children learn in waves, sometimes taking longer
periods to process and reflect, and they are still learning whether it shows
from the outside. I have not shared any of these concerns with her, just
wanted her to be free of pressure. We don't watch much tv, she doesn't read a
full book by herself, she would rather I read aloud to her (and I have, but
want to more than I have), she leaves a lot of "projects" and books
unfinished, but that's normal, I hope? When we started in February, she had
an interest in learning French. We (okay, I) kind of went a *little*
overboard, buying up books, getting materials from the library, almost making
a unit of it. We learned about Impressionists, went to the museum, which she
begged to do, but hasn't really done more than learn some numbers and common
phrases. I was enjoying it, because I retained some of my 3 years of high
school french, because i did learn most of it by interest. So maybe she had
all she needed of it for now, and I let it go. The same for a few other
topics. But now she liked it "better" when we got up on a schedule, and I was
giving her a plan to follow and materials to explore. It was by no means
"school at home". We do a lot together, I probably overdo it with leaving
things strewn about (especially laundry LOL LOL my house hasn't been the same
since bringing her home), but i still think she expects us to sit at a table
and "learn". My next question: does anyone explain what unschooling is to
their kids, do their kids ever question why things are so unstructured? This
probably would only apply to the ex-schooled children who are learning the
concept of "natural" learning right along with their self-conscious moms!!
Should I try to explain what I have read by Holt, or that I was mistaken in
assuming that schooling was necessary to learn? I haven't really explained
it to her, would that help alleviate her need to play school? Or just keep
going with the flow~~~~~~~~~
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 5/18/02 9:34:57 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
rumpleteasermom@... writes:
week, never remains constant with my girls anyway! So I will just be
flexible, accomodating, and above all TRUSTING. And I will run back here
again with an attack of self-doubt as necessary! LOL
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rumpleteasermom@... writes:
> I have one who *needs* structure.You know, this is all kind of silly anyway, because what works today or last
week, never remains constant with my girls anyway! So I will just be
flexible, accomodating, and above all TRUSTING. And I will run back here
again with an attack of self-doubt as necessary! LOL
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/20/02 8:11:03 AM, megamom08@... writes:
<< Should I try to explain what I have read by Holt, or that I was mistaken
in
assuming that schooling was necessary to learn? >>
I would, definitely.
The same way you could to an adult, you could just point out the things she
has learned for fun, mostly on her own.
Maybe she's thinking you don't care whether she learns. Allaying her fears
and putting happy hope in the places where the fears were might help a lot!
Sandra
<< Should I try to explain what I have read by Holt, or that I was mistaken
in
assuming that schooling was necessary to learn? >>
I would, definitely.
The same way you could to an adult, you could just point out the things she
has learned for fun, mostly on her own.
Maybe she's thinking you don't care whether she learns. Allaying her fears
and putting happy hope in the places where the fears were might help a lot!
Sandra
rumpleteasermom
Ang,
Your house sounds cool. But trying to contain the "school" stuff to
one room would never work for us. I bet you will find as yours get
older it becomes more difficult to do also.
It sounds like you have agood handle on what your daughter needs/how
she learns and the game sounds really cool. The fact that it was her
idea makes it even cooler!
I do have a suggestion for the drilling grandmother - tell your
daughter to start asking questions back. Any kind of questions so the
conversation goes like this, "What's 2 x 2?" "Four. What's the
capital of Indonesia?" "I don't know"
I let Wyndham use Einsteins Theory of Relativity that way when he was
VERY young. Nothing shuts a busy body up like a five year old
explaining the Theory of Relativity! He learned it from Gus Goes to
Cyberopolis, BTW, and if you see it around it is a very entertaining
game for young ones.
Bridget
Your house sounds cool. But trying to contain the "school" stuff to
one room would never work for us. I bet you will find as yours get
older it becomes more difficult to do also.
It sounds like you have agood handle on what your daughter needs/how
she learns and the game sounds really cool. The fact that it was her
idea makes it even cooler!
I do have a suggestion for the drilling grandmother - tell your
daughter to start asking questions back. Any kind of questions so the
conversation goes like this, "What's 2 x 2?" "Four. What's the
capital of Indonesia?" "I don't know"
I let Wyndham use Einsteins Theory of Relativity that way when he was
VERY young. Nothing shuts a busy body up like a five year old
explaining the Theory of Relativity! He learned it from Gus Goes to
Cyberopolis, BTW, and if you see it around it is a very entertaining
game for young ones.
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., megamom08@a... wrote:
>
> As always, appreciate your feedback. It wouldn't be a "pricing
game", she
> wants to make some spelling words of her choosing, like words that
she has
> asked me the definitions of, or multiplication facts, that her
grandmother
> has been regularly drilling her on, to my dismay. She loves
gameshows, and
> The Price is Right was the first thing I could think to liken it to.
She
> wants to make index cards, and have fun sorting them whatever way
she feels
> inclined to, on the wall. She wants us to get some chalkboard paint
and make
> a big board in the basement (a huge finished room that has been
designated
> the schoolroom, with plenty of space and bookshelves and games and
toys and
> tv/vcr/dvd, but has overflowed into every room of the house LOL) to
play at,
> she wants to "teach" her almost 3yo sister. In fact, she wants to
read aloud
> to her sister, and gets frustrated when little sister won't stay in
one place
> on the floor and listen, she wants to climb in her lap, talk about
the
> pictures, etc. That lead to an interesting conversation about how
that
> "method of schooling/teaching" didn't work for her, and she can't
expect her
> naturally curious sister to want to Sit Still and Pay Attention!!!!
But, I
> digress :0) I am not trying to make her a game to trick her into
learning,
> she is "kinesthetic" from what I have gathered, and I encourage her
to play
> and learn whatever delights her. Please continue to provide opinions
and
> feedback, I always welcome different perspectives on this list!
Thanks again!
> Ang
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/02 9:22:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
rumpleteasermom@... writes:
were given a very fortunate opportunity to buy this house a year ago. Ready
for a soap opera :0) ? We were happy in our little starter cape cod, I called
it my "doll house". I had no desire to move or upgrade. Except for the public
school. In April of 2001, I was seriously considering homeschooling. Then my
father makes us an offer to buy his house, after he lived here alone for many
years. My mom had moved out a few years after they had bought it together.
They had made many attempts to reconcile. This time they were getting back
together for good, and he was moving in with her. He had offered to sell this
house to us several times, and we never took him seriously, he is very
fickle. I was also pregnant and due in June. It was the craziest thing we
ever did. We moved in the first week of May, 2001. I thought the opportunity
was God's way of giving Megan a new start at a new school. The new district
was a small improvement, but I know now why it ultimately failed her again. I
have learned more about compulsory education AFTER I removed her in February.
I had some guilt that I didn't start her homeschooling at the old house, but
I had a lot of anxiety then, how could I be her teacher when she was defiant
about anything involving teaching? Anyhoo, it has been much easier starting
it in this house, with the baby older and more independent. I don't want to
sound like I am bragging, but I love this house. I didn't really care for it
when my parents bought it, but I am so glad my dad made me an offer I
couldn't refuse. It would have been more than we could afford, but he gave it
to us furnished and below market value. It sits on a big pond(probably an
acre), that 5 or 6 houses all have a piece of. We have gotten to observe
canada geese, a great blue heron, rabbits nesting somewhere nearby, we have
hummingbirds, and now there are white ducks that someone asked the neighbor
to let live here. There is a huge basement that my parents finished, but my
dad never used for years. We put all our old furniture down there, including
entertainment center, and my dh was calling it the "man room", because it
used to have a pool table that dad got rid of, and it has beer signs all
over. It was his room to get away from us hyper girls LOL. Slowly i have made
it the homeschool room LOL. I took down the lighted bar signs, and covered up
another one with a big poster, and added other signs and posters that are
"educational". It was a nice place to start in the cold of february, lots of
room for the little ones to play while Megan and I explored subjects
together. Also, plenty of room for Megan, the kinesthetic and distracted
type, to move about. Now we hardly go down there, so we have been bringing
books up, and we spend a lot of time outdoors. But I have a feeling, as it
gets hot and humid out, we will be down there more.
OH, and my dad bought my old house after it sat empty for sale for 6
months...........
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rumpleteasermom@... writes:
> Ang,Megan's got a play chalkboard that has "home's cool" written on it LOL. We
>
> Your house sounds cool. But trying to contain the "school" stuff to
> one room would never work for us. I bet you will find as yours get
> older it becomes more difficult to do also
were given a very fortunate opportunity to buy this house a year ago. Ready
for a soap opera :0) ? We were happy in our little starter cape cod, I called
it my "doll house". I had no desire to move or upgrade. Except for the public
school. In April of 2001, I was seriously considering homeschooling. Then my
father makes us an offer to buy his house, after he lived here alone for many
years. My mom had moved out a few years after they had bought it together.
They had made many attempts to reconcile. This time they were getting back
together for good, and he was moving in with her. He had offered to sell this
house to us several times, and we never took him seriously, he is very
fickle. I was also pregnant and due in June. It was the craziest thing we
ever did. We moved in the first week of May, 2001. I thought the opportunity
was God's way of giving Megan a new start at a new school. The new district
was a small improvement, but I know now why it ultimately failed her again. I
have learned more about compulsory education AFTER I removed her in February.
I had some guilt that I didn't start her homeschooling at the old house, but
I had a lot of anxiety then, how could I be her teacher when she was defiant
about anything involving teaching? Anyhoo, it has been much easier starting
it in this house, with the baby older and more independent. I don't want to
sound like I am bragging, but I love this house. I didn't really care for it
when my parents bought it, but I am so glad my dad made me an offer I
couldn't refuse. It would have been more than we could afford, but he gave it
to us furnished and below market value. It sits on a big pond(probably an
acre), that 5 or 6 houses all have a piece of. We have gotten to observe
canada geese, a great blue heron, rabbits nesting somewhere nearby, we have
hummingbirds, and now there are white ducks that someone asked the neighbor
to let live here. There is a huge basement that my parents finished, but my
dad never used for years. We put all our old furniture down there, including
entertainment center, and my dh was calling it the "man room", because it
used to have a pool table that dad got rid of, and it has beer signs all
over. It was his room to get away from us hyper girls LOL. Slowly i have made
it the homeschool room LOL. I took down the lighted bar signs, and covered up
another one with a big poster, and added other signs and posters that are
"educational". It was a nice place to start in the cold of february, lots of
room for the little ones to play while Megan and I explored subjects
together. Also, plenty of room for Megan, the kinesthetic and distracted
type, to move about. Now we hardly go down there, so we have been bringing
books up, and we spend a lot of time outdoors. But I have a feeling, as it
gets hot and humid out, we will be down there more.
OH, and my dad bought my old house after it sat empty for sale for 6
months...........
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/02 7:22:35 AM, rumpleteasermom@... writes:
<< I do have a suggestion for the drilling grandmother - tell your
daughter to start asking questions back. Any kind of questions so the
conversation goes like this, "What's 2 x 2?" "Four. What's the
capital of Indonesia?" "I don't know" >>
Holly had one she had developed on her own, when she was young. I'd ask her,
but she's asleep. But it was something like "What's 232 plus 185?" And she
had that one answer memorized. <g>
Sandra
<< I do have a suggestion for the drilling grandmother - tell your
daughter to start asking questions back. Any kind of questions so the
conversation goes like this, "What's 2 x 2?" "Four. What's the
capital of Indonesia?" "I don't know" >>
Holly had one she had developed on her own, when she was young. I'd ask her,
but she's asleep. But it was something like "What's 232 plus 185?" And she
had that one answer memorized. <g>
Sandra
mary krzyzanowski
Bridget,
Is "Gus goes to Cyberopolis" a CD game or board game?
Mary-NY
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
Is "Gus goes to Cyberopolis" a CD game or board game?
Mary-NY
>From: "rumpleteasermom" <rumpleteasermom@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Deschooling ending or what?
>Date: Tue, 21 May 2002 13:21:29 -0000
>
>Ang,
>
>Your house sounds cool. But trying to contain the "school" stuff to
>one room would never work for us. I bet you will find as yours get
>older it becomes more difficult to do also.
>
>It sounds like you have agood handle on what your daughter needs/how
>she learns and the game sounds really cool. The fact that it was her
>idea makes it even cooler!
>
>I do have a suggestion for the drilling grandmother - tell your
>daughter to start asking questions back. Any kind of questions so the
>conversation goes like this, "What's 2 x 2?" "Four. What's the
>capital of Indonesia?" "I don't know"
>I let Wyndham use Einsteins Theory of Relativity that way when he was
>VERY young. Nothing shuts a busy body up like a five year old
>explaining the Theory of Relativity! He learned it from Gus Goes to
>Cyberopolis, BTW, and if you see it around it is a very entertaining
>game for young ones.
>
>Bridget
>
>
>
>--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., megamom08@a... wrote:
>
> >
> > As always, appreciate your feedback. It wouldn't be a "pricing
>game", she
> > wants to make some spelling words of her choosing, like words that
>she has
> > asked me the definitions of, or multiplication facts, that her
>grandmother
> > has been regularly drilling her on, to my dismay. She loves
>gameshows, and
> > The Price is Right was the first thing I could think to liken it to.
>She
> > wants to make index cards, and have fun sorting them whatever way
>she feels
> > inclined to, on the wall. She wants us to get some chalkboard paint
>and make
> > a big board in the basement (a huge finished room that has been
>designated
> > the schoolroom, with plenty of space and bookshelves and games and
>toys and
> > tv/vcr/dvd, but has overflowed into every room of the house LOL) to
>play at,
> > she wants to "teach" her almost 3yo sister. In fact, she wants to
>read aloud
> > to her sister, and gets frustrated when little sister won't stay in
>one place
> > on the floor and listen, she wants to climb in her lap, talk about
>the
> > pictures, etc. That lead to an interesting conversation about how
>that
> > "method of schooling/teaching" didn't work for her, and she can't
>expect her
> > naturally curious sister to want to Sit Still and Pay Attention!!!!
>But, I
> > digress :0) I am not trying to make her a game to trick her into
>learning,
> > she is "kinesthetic" from what I have gathered, and I encourage her
>to play
> > and learn whatever delights her. Please continue to provide opinions
>and
> > feedback, I always welcome different perspectives on this list!
>Thanks again!
> > Ang
>
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "mary krzyzanowski" <meembeam@h...>
wrote:
that we never got but it looked just as cool. Other games Wyndham
played before he could read and when he was quite young include the
Incredible Machine, The Incredible Toon Machine, Lenny's Time Machine,
And Zoombinis.
Bridget
wrote:
>It's a cd-rom. There was a second one called Gus goes to the Carnival
> Bridget,
> Is "Gus goes to Cyberopolis" a CD game or board game?
> Mary-NY
>
that we never got but it looked just as cool. Other games Wyndham
played before he could read and when he was quite young include the
Incredible Machine, The Incredible Toon Machine, Lenny's Time Machine,
And Zoombinis.
Bridget