More new HS questions
[email protected]
I hope all of you are up to some more advice. I wrote before, I am new
this year. I am hsing 2 boys 8 & 11 yro.
My boys were in ps until this year, as I've said we are having a
stressful adjustment period. On top of that I have a dh that is going along
but not necessarily in favor of hsing. I believe this is really the best
thing for us at this time.
Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come along
finally? How long did it take.
Any and all advice would be helpful. Feeling a little insecure.
Laura
<Bonknit@...>
this year. I am hsing 2 boys 8 & 11 yro.
My boys were in ps until this year, as I've said we are having a
stressful adjustment period. On top of that I have a dh that is going along
but not necessarily in favor of hsing. I believe this is really the best
thing for us at this time.
Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come along
finally? How long did it take.
Any and all advice would be helpful. Feeling a little insecure.
Laura
<Bonknit@...>
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/10/1999 3:35:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Bonknit@... writes:
<< Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
along
finally? How long did it take. >>
This is our second year, and we're still living through it. I cope by
plodding along. My dh is unsupportive and angry (at what, I'm not sure). He
is always using homeschooling against the kids. He's a beast lately. Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry.
Love,
Jill
Bonknit@... writes:
<< Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
along
finally? How long did it take. >>
This is our second year, and we're still living through it. I cope by
plodding along. My dh is unsupportive and angry (at what, I'm not sure). He
is always using homeschooling against the kids. He's a beast lately. Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry.
Love,
Jill
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/10/99 7:50:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Jastypes@... writes:
<< Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry. >>
Well, at least I know I'm not alone. My dh is pretty much staying neutral
but every now and then he has to knock the wind out of my sails and let me
know where he stands. Like you I have to wonder why. it doesn't help either
one of us or advance any cause. I wonder if it just comes down to a perceived
power struggle and he feels like I've won. I really don't want to win
anything I just want to live and educate my kids the way I see fit. We've
seen what the schools can do as we have older boys and what we've experience
hasn't been good.
Laura
<Bonknit@...>
Jastypes@... writes:
<< Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry. >>
Well, at least I know I'm not alone. My dh is pretty much staying neutral
but every now and then he has to knock the wind out of my sails and let me
know where he stands. Like you I have to wonder why. it doesn't help either
one of us or advance any cause. I wonder if it just comes down to a perceived
power struggle and he feels like I've won. I really don't want to win
anything I just want to live and educate my kids the way I see fit. We've
seen what the schools can do as we have older boys and what we've experience
hasn't been good.
Laura
<Bonknit@...>
Lisa Bugg
> << Ohneutral
> well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry. >>
>
> Well, at least I know I'm not alone. My dh is pretty much staying
> but every now and then he has to knock the wind out of my sails and let meDoes he ever talk to you about what he's really id of? Not the surface
> know where he stands. Like you I have to wonder why.
stuff of they won't go to college, or they'll have gaps in their knowledge.
Those are easily discussed and are usually what they use to divert attention
from what's really bothering them.
Stepping outside the box is an awesome thing when you stop to consider all
the ramifications. Once you begin questioning whether any cultural norm is
necessary, you begin to question them all. That can be overwhelming. He may
just be stuck in a rut in regards to reactions... if you can get him past
that, you might be able to fix it.
When he takes the wind out of your sails, what do you do?
Lisa
The O'Donnells
At 03:35 PM 10/10/99 -0400, you wrote:
bought the home we live in due to the school district!) But by reading
books myself and sharing little paragraphs with him and examples of what
was going on with the kids we made it through. I also encouraged him to
meet other hsing parents and ask questions. He also met hsing teens - and
grilled the poor girl - but she took it in stride and really surprised him.
Now, dh is on the bandwagon and knows it is the best thing for our kids at
least right now. I suspect when high school rolls around we may have to do
some talking. But by then (I have 5 more years) I think he will see the
overall benefit of what hsing is doing for our girls. It's kind of like
unschooling, it takes a lot of trust in dh too!
In His Service,
Laraine
praxis@...
Subscribe to Our Prairie Primer Today Community at:
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PrairiePrimerToday
>From: Bonknit@...along
> On top of that I have a dh that is going along
>but not necessarily in favor of hsing. I believe this is really the best
>thing for us at this time.
>Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
>finally? How long did it take.Oh yeah, dh was very skeptical and a little mad when we started out (he
> Any and all advice would be helpful. Feeling a little insecure.
bought the home we live in due to the school district!) But by reading
books myself and sharing little paragraphs with him and examples of what
was going on with the kids we made it through. I also encouraged him to
meet other hsing parents and ask questions. He also met hsing teens - and
grilled the poor girl - but she took it in stride and really surprised him.
Now, dh is on the bandwagon and knows it is the best thing for our kids at
least right now. I suspect when high school rolls around we may have to do
some talking. But by then (I have 5 more years) I think he will see the
overall benefit of what hsing is doing for our girls. It's kind of like
unschooling, it takes a lot of trust in dh too!
In His Service,
Laraine
praxis@...
Subscribe to Our Prairie Primer Today Community at:
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/PrairiePrimerToday
Lisa Bugg
. I believe this is really the best
you an accurate picture. It depends on how badly your children were hurt by
being in the system, by how much they have to heal. It depends a bit on
their learning style. A hands on doer is going to give you more to feel
comfortable with compared to a quiet, reflective thinker.
Dh's usually come along, but it takes a while. That too depends on his own
school experience, his own expectations and fears. Dh's usually take the
longest to come around.
The very best piece of advice is to just DO. Start your own projects, go
places, go to the moves, see a play, keep yourself so busy with real life
that you do not sit and think about *school work*. As time goes on you
will see how the children are learning, even without anyone telling them
too.
Now, many times I've heard people say, but they won't EVER do math if I
don't make them. I finally figured out that that is probably true. No
self-respecting 12 year boy is going wake up one morning and say, "I want to
do every odd problem of chapter 6 of a math text". (Okay, I have a friend
who has a son who chooses to do math problems, but Ricky's, well Ricky...;))
Anyway, another good thing for you to do is to sit down with a bunch of
text, look at how they try to bring real life into those text. The math
problems are about going to the store with $5 and needing to buy one of
these and 2 of those. So, GO to the store and actually buy one of these and
two of those and count your change. You've just done a math problem and
taken care of an errand. This frees up time to sit and read a good book,
either to yourself or to the kids.
Just wait until they ask for the car keys for the first time, this will seem
like a piece of cake. ;)
Lisa
> thing for us at this time.along
> Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
> finally? How long did it take.Laura, how fast things move depends on so many variables, it's hard to give
> Any and all advice would be helpful. Feeling a little insecure.
you an accurate picture. It depends on how badly your children were hurt by
being in the system, by how much they have to heal. It depends a bit on
their learning style. A hands on doer is going to give you more to feel
comfortable with compared to a quiet, reflective thinker.
Dh's usually come along, but it takes a while. That too depends on his own
school experience, his own expectations and fears. Dh's usually take the
longest to come around.
The very best piece of advice is to just DO. Start your own projects, go
places, go to the moves, see a play, keep yourself so busy with real life
that you do not sit and think about *school work*. As time goes on you
will see how the children are learning, even without anyone telling them
too.
Now, many times I've heard people say, but they won't EVER do math if I
don't make them. I finally figured out that that is probably true. No
self-respecting 12 year boy is going wake up one morning and say, "I want to
do every odd problem of chapter 6 of a math text". (Okay, I have a friend
who has a son who chooses to do math problems, but Ricky's, well Ricky...;))
Anyway, another good thing for you to do is to sit down with a bunch of
text, look at how they try to bring real life into those text. The math
problems are about going to the store with $5 and needing to buy one of
these and 2 of those. So, GO to the store and actually buy one of these and
two of those and count your change. You've just done a math problem and
taken care of an errand. This frees up time to sit and read a good book,
either to yourself or to the kids.
Just wait until they ask for the car keys for the first time, this will seem
like a piece of cake. ;)
Lisa
A. Yates
> He also met hsing teens - andThis really helped my DH too. He was not refusing, just a bit unsure and
> grilled the poor girl -
reluctant. He hadn't done the reading I had either, and he won't. Now that he
has met other homeschoolers and especially teen homeschoolers, he feels fine
about it. In fact he was very impressed.
Ann
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/10/99 3:50:21 PM, Jastypes@... writes:
<<This is our second year, and we're still living through it. I cope by
plodding along. My dh is unsupportive and angry (at what, I'm not sure). He
is always using homeschooling against the kids. He's a beast lately. Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry.>>
It's okay. When we can't give each other sunshine and cherries, we give each
other honesty. Your honesty is appreciated.
Betsy
<<This is our second year, and we're still living through it. I cope by
plodding along. My dh is unsupportive and angry (at what, I'm not sure). He
is always using homeschooling against the kids. He's a beast lately. Oh
well, that wasn't very encouraging was it? Sorry.>>
It's okay. When we can't give each other sunshine and cherries, we give each
other honesty. Your honesty is appreciated.
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 12:58:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< ust wait until they ask for the car keys for the first time, this will seem
like a piece of cake. ;) >>
I think this is why I'm so hard on myself also. I already have 4 grown
boys, so I can't figure out why this all throws me so. I feel like a young
mom starting all over again. (please take no offense young moms) Just a lack
of confidence in this area.
Laura
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< ust wait until they ask for the car keys for the first time, this will seem
like a piece of cake. ;) >>
I think this is why I'm so hard on myself also. I already have 4 grown
boys, so I can't figure out why this all throws me so. I feel like a young
mom starting all over again. (please take no offense young moms) Just a lack
of confidence in this area.
Laura
[email protected]
I'll tell you what really won my DH over. It was the enormous change in
my son. After he saw that, he let me do whatever I thought should be done. He
supports me 100% now, and defends homeschooling (and now unschooling) to all
the family who question us. He is not very involved, as he is a trucker and
not home a lot, but when he is home, he is very available to the kids for
answering questions and such. It helps tremendously to have your DH on your
side. Give it time and trust that the kids will make the impact where you
can't. Blessings, Lori in TX
my son. After he saw that, he let me do whatever I thought should be done. He
supports me 100% now, and defends homeschooling (and now unschooling) to all
the family who question us. He is not very involved, as he is a trucker and
not home a lot, but when he is home, he is very available to the kids for
answering questions and such. It helps tremendously to have your DH on your
side. Give it time and trust that the kids will make the impact where you
can't. Blessings, Lori in TX
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 1:30:35 PM !!!First Boot!!!, hooperck@...
writes:
<< > He also met hsing teens - and
reluctant. He hadn't done the reading I had either, and he won't. >>
I think one of the reasons that my husband is supportive of hsing is that I
told him (in nauseating detail) about the goings on at the ps during the
process of trying to get my son adequate instruction. I think he was amazed
we lasted as long as we did at the ps after some of the frustrations we
experienced. (i.e., we have been hsing since we pulled my son out last April
(mid K) and the school still has not finished the process of having him
tested to determine where they would place him were he in school -- not that
he's going back any time soon but I figured I'd let them pay for the tests.)
Ours is not anywhere near some of the horror stories one hears, but dealing
with the inanities and insanities of the admin has been thoroughly brought
home to my husband. He is generally supportive anyway and (perhaps thanks to
working about 1 million hours a week and not having much of a choice) trusts
me to make decisions for the good of all.
Take care.
Nance
writes:
<< > He also met hsing teens - and
> grilled the poor girl -This really helped my DH too. He was not refusing, just a bit unsure and
reluctant. He hadn't done the reading I had either, and he won't. >>
I think one of the reasons that my husband is supportive of hsing is that I
told him (in nauseating detail) about the goings on at the ps during the
process of trying to get my son adequate instruction. I think he was amazed
we lasted as long as we did at the ps after some of the frustrations we
experienced. (i.e., we have been hsing since we pulled my son out last April
(mid K) and the school still has not finished the process of having him
tested to determine where they would place him were he in school -- not that
he's going back any time soon but I figured I'd let them pay for the tests.)
Ours is not anywhere near some of the horror stories one hears, but dealing
with the inanities and insanities of the admin has been thoroughly brought
home to my husband. He is generally supportive anyway and (perhaps thanks to
working about 1 million hours a week and not having much of a choice) trusts
me to make decisions for the good of all.
Take care.
Nance
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 8:15:57 AM, RRAINENJ@... writes:
<< I'll tell you what really won my DH over. It was the enormous change in
my son. After he saw that, he let me do whatever I thought should be done. He
supports me 100% now, and defends homeschooling (and now unschooling) to all
the family who question us. >>
Sometimes it helps to ask a reluctant husband to just give
homeschooling/unschooling a fair try for one year. If he has doubts during
the year there may need to be a plan for him to discuss them with you
*privately*. It would be wonderful if you could get him to agree to support
homeschooling (or at least stay NEUTRAL) in front of the kids for a full year.
But if he never agreed to support HS and just got dragged into it (sorry, I
wasn't there -- I have to guess), then he's going to need to vent and debate
before he can possibly take a vow of silent support.
Betsy
<< I'll tell you what really won my DH over. It was the enormous change in
my son. After he saw that, he let me do whatever I thought should be done. He
supports me 100% now, and defends homeschooling (and now unschooling) to all
the family who question us. >>
Sometimes it helps to ask a reluctant husband to just give
homeschooling/unschooling a fair try for one year. If he has doubts during
the year there may need to be a plan for him to discuss them with you
*privately*. It would be wonderful if you could get him to agree to support
homeschooling (or at least stay NEUTRAL) in front of the kids for a full year.
But if he never agreed to support HS and just got dragged into it (sorry, I
wasn't there -- I have to guess), then he's going to need to vent and debate
before he can possibly take a vow of silent support.
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/10/99 11:01:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< When he takes the wind out of your sails, what do you do?
just knocks me off center for a day or two. I did not start hsing on a whim.
I really had time to think this through. So now when this happens at first
I'm very upset and sad. I get over the upset by going through the whole
reason I am hsing to begin with. Since I haven't had to do it for a while it
took me a little longer, I had started to forget why.
Once again I'm ok with it but I still worry that I won't do it right or do
enough.
I don't know if he will ever be 100% behind me, perhaps but he comes from
a very traditional don't make waves family. I did get him to read "Dumbing Us
Down" by John Taylor Gatto, he was impressed but I'm sure he's forgotten all
of it and all of the trouble we have had with school in the past. Out of
sight, out of mind. There is not a lot that would impress him, talking to
others, etc., because he doesn't think it applies to us. He won't read
anything else either.
I do want to make it clear though that he has always been a great dad and
husband. I have been able to stay home w/ all my kids. He has always been
very involved in their care. I think maybe he worries I'll make them momma's
boys or something. Maybe it's a guy thing.
Laura
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< When he takes the wind out of your sails, what do you do?
>>Well, I used to get a lot more upset when he did stuff like this. Now it
just knocks me off center for a day or two. I did not start hsing on a whim.
I really had time to think this through. So now when this happens at first
I'm very upset and sad. I get over the upset by going through the whole
reason I am hsing to begin with. Since I haven't had to do it for a while it
took me a little longer, I had started to forget why.
Once again I'm ok with it but I still worry that I won't do it right or do
enough.
I don't know if he will ever be 100% behind me, perhaps but he comes from
a very traditional don't make waves family. I did get him to read "Dumbing Us
Down" by John Taylor Gatto, he was impressed but I'm sure he's forgotten all
of it and all of the trouble we have had with school in the past. Out of
sight, out of mind. There is not a lot that would impress him, talking to
others, etc., because he doesn't think it applies to us. He won't read
anything else either.
I do want to make it clear though that he has always been a great dad and
husband. I have been able to stay home w/ all my kids. He has always been
very involved in their care. I think maybe he worries I'll make them momma's
boys or something. Maybe it's a guy thing.
Laura
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 2:13:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< But if he never agreed to support HS and just got dragged into it (sorry,
I
wasn't there -- I have to guess), then he's going to need to vent and debate
before he can possibly take a vow of silent support >>
No, I didn't drag him. The schools our kids have been in have beat us to
death for years. We were both really tired of dealing with them. I believe he
will remain mostly neutral. The 11yro now and then talks about going back and
I think that may help to get dh going again. I just felt so alone with this,
like it is all on me. Which it is.
Laura
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< But if he never agreed to support HS and just got dragged into it (sorry,
I
wasn't there -- I have to guess), then he's going to need to vent and debate
before he can possibly take a vow of silent support >>
No, I didn't drag him. The schools our kids have been in have beat us to
death for years. We were both really tired of dealing with them. I believe he
will remain mostly neutral. The 11yro now and then talks about going back and
I think that may help to get dh going again. I just felt so alone with this,
like it is all on me. Which it is.
Laura
Joel Hawthorne
Laura,
I recommend a book entitled "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence Real as a
means of understanding what the hell is wrong with many men (myself sadly
included) and also "Real Boys" by William Pollack is a must read for raising
sons.
Unfortunately alot of those "guy things" are maladaptive and excruciatingly
painful for everyone around them. The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion.
Bonknit@... wrote:
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which conserve,
restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in society i.e. restorative
justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
I recommend a book entitled "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence Real as a
means of understanding what the hell is wrong with many men (myself sadly
included) and also "Real Boys" by William Pollack is a must read for raising
sons.
Unfortunately alot of those "guy things" are maladaptive and excruciatingly
painful for everyone around them. The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion.
Bonknit@... wrote:
> From: Bonknit@...--
>
> In a message dated 10/10/99 11:01:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> LisaBugg@... writes:
>
> << When he takes the wind out of your sails, what do you do?
> >>
>
> Well, I used to get a lot more upset when he did stuff like this. Now it
> just knocks me off center for a day or two. I did not start hsing on a whim.
> I really had time to think this through. So now when this happens at first
> I'm very upset and sad. I get over the upset by going through the whole
> reason I am hsing to begin with. Since I haven't had to do it for a while it
> took me a little longer, I had started to forget why.
> Once again I'm ok with it but I still worry that I won't do it right or do
> enough.
>
> I don't know if he will ever be 100% behind me, perhaps but he comes from
> a very traditional don't make waves family. I did get him to read "Dumbing Us
> Down" by John Taylor Gatto, he was impressed but I'm sure he's forgotten all
> of it and all of the trouble we have had with school in the past. Out of
> sight, out of mind. There is not a lot that would impress him, talking to
> others, etc., because he doesn't think it applies to us. He won't read
> anything else either.
> I do want to make it clear though that he has always been a great dad and
> husband. I have been able to stay home w/ all my kids. He has always been
> very involved in their care. I think maybe he worries I'll make them momma's
> boys or something. Maybe it's a guy thing.
>
> Laura
>
> > Check it out!
> http://www.unschooling.com
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which conserve,
restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in society i.e. restorative
justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 11:08:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
jhawthorne@... writes:
<< The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion. >>
Wow! I'm thrilled to have a guy answer and so honestly. I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs and still
have a hard time understanding them. I believe I do well though. I understand
so much more than I ever did. I know that my spending time with my boys is
not going to effect them the way my dh may think. For one thing I have some
of the most stubborn, very male kids that I have ever come across. I am the
minority here and boy do I know it! (pun not intended)
I will read the books you suggested, thanks.
Laura
jhawthorne@... writes:
<< The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion. >>
Wow! I'm thrilled to have a guy answer and so honestly. I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs and still
have a hard time understanding them. I believe I do well though. I understand
so much more than I ever did. I know that my spending time with my boys is
not going to effect them the way my dh may think. For one thing I have some
of the most stubborn, very male kids that I have ever come across. I am the
minority here and boy do I know it! (pun not intended)
I will read the books you suggested, thanks.
Laura
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 4:05:09 PM EST, Bonknit@... writes:
<< I do want to make it clear though that he has always been a great dad and
husband. I have been able to stay home w/ all my kids. He has always been
very involved in their care. I think maybe he worries I'll make them momma's
boys or something. Maybe it's a guy thing. >>
Laura,
you hit the nail on the head. My dh is exactly like this. But from year
after year of hearing their evaluation reports, and finding no fault with
their communication skills, he gets more and more behind me! lol
Teresa
<< I do want to make it clear though that he has always been a great dad and
husband. I have been able to stay home w/ all my kids. He has always been
very involved in their care. I think maybe he worries I'll make them momma's
boys or something. Maybe it's a guy thing. >>
Laura,
you hit the nail on the head. My dh is exactly like this. But from year
after year of hearing their evaluation reports, and finding no fault with
their communication skills, he gets more and more behind me! lol
Teresa
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 11:42:17 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Hsmotgo@... writes:
<< You hit the nail on the head. My dh is exactly like this. But from year
after year of hearing their evaluation reports, and finding no fault with
their communication skills, he gets more and more behind me! lol >>
I can't wait and do believe it will happen. I think it scares him more
than me because I'm doing it, he's more removed and has to trust me. I think
the ear gets the better of him now and then.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. Thanks, I fell so much better.
Laura
Hsmotgo@... writes:
<< You hit the nail on the head. My dh is exactly like this. But from year
after year of hearing their evaluation reports, and finding no fault with
their communication skills, he gets more and more behind me! lol >>
I can't wait and do believe it will happen. I think it scares him more
than me because I'm doing it, he's more removed and has to trust me. I think
the ear gets the better of him now and then.
I really appreciate everyone's advice. Thanks, I fell so much better.
Laura
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/11/99 10:46:28 PM EST, Bonknit@... writes:
<< I really appreciate everyone's advice. Thanks, I fell so much better.
<< I really appreciate everyone's advice. Thanks, I fell so much better.
>>; >
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/10/99 2:35:20 PM Central Daylight Time, Bonknit@...
writes:
<< On top of that I have a dh that is going along
but not necessarily in favor of hsing. I believe this is really the best
thing for us at this time.
Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
along
finally? How long did it take. >>
Laura,
When we started homeschooling a few years ago, my husband was not for it
at all!! He knew how unbearably unhappy one of our children was, and we had
begged, cried, and pleaded for over a year. Finally in February, he said
that I could give it a try for the rest of the year, but if he was unhappy
with how we did, they would go back to school the following year! Egad!!!!!
That just gave me 4 months!!!!!!!
Well, now my husband is totally for homeschooling!!! He never suggests
putting the kids back in school at all. And although he doesn't really
understand unschooling (he still comes home and asks how school was
today----or asks to see some of the kids schoolpapers), he really loves the
difference it has made in our kids.
Let your husband see the difference this year makes to your kids, then
he will probably be behind homeschooling 100%.
Tami
writes:
<< On top of that I have a dh that is going along
but not necessarily in favor of hsing. I believe this is really the best
thing for us at this time.
Have any of you had to live through this? How did you cope? Did dh come
along
finally? How long did it take. >>
Laura,
When we started homeschooling a few years ago, my husband was not for it
at all!! He knew how unbearably unhappy one of our children was, and we had
begged, cried, and pleaded for over a year. Finally in February, he said
that I could give it a try for the rest of the year, but if he was unhappy
with how we did, they would go back to school the following year! Egad!!!!!
That just gave me 4 months!!!!!!!
Well, now my husband is totally for homeschooling!!! He never suggests
putting the kids back in school at all. And although he doesn't really
understand unschooling (he still comes home and asks how school was
today----or asks to see some of the kids schoolpapers), he really loves the
difference it has made in our kids.
Let your husband see the difference this year makes to your kids, then
he will probably be behind homeschooling 100%.
Tami
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/14/99 9:34:40 PM EST, LASaliger@... writes:
<< his town is much worse than others that I know of (it's Lancaster, CA)
and is doing many things that I feel are a violation of people's rights. >>
Lucy, I am from Tehachapi, CA and I remember way back when I was in high
school (1989-90) hearing about how Lancaster's high schools had metal
detectors and on campus police! It seems they have always been lacking
something...Thanks for reminding us of some of the horrors we are avoiding by
keeping our kids at home! Blessings, Lori in TX
<< his town is much worse than others that I know of (it's Lancaster, CA)
and is doing many things that I feel are a violation of people's rights. >>
Lucy, I am from Tehachapi, CA and I remember way back when I was in high
school (1989-90) hearing about how Lancaster's high schools had metal
detectors and on campus police! It seems they have always been lacking
something...Thanks for reminding us of some of the horrors we are avoiding by
keeping our kids at home! Blessings, Lori in TX
Joel Hawthorne
This is one of those stories that could use a little international light on it.
You might consider a press release all ready in the event any draconian stupidity
occurs. The appeal should all be ready. In addition one must always remember
the noble tradition of civil disobedience. I would not allow my 13 year old to
be sent away for 120 days. I would flee. Sounds like a disturbed area.
The more I think about it the more outrageous it becomes. So this 13 year old
has long history of violent threats? He has committed numerous acts of violence?
He is a danger to the community? Please publicize this school district and their
practices.
Check out my second signature site for a different view of what justice is really
about.
LASaliger@... wrote:
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which conserve,
restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in society i.e. restorative
justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
You might consider a press release all ready in the event any draconian stupidity
occurs. The appeal should all be ready. In addition one must always remember
the noble tradition of civil disobedience. I would not allow my 13 year old to
be sent away for 120 days. I would flee. Sounds like a disturbed area.
The more I think about it the more outrageous it becomes. So this 13 year old
has long history of violent threats? He has committed numerous acts of violence?
He is a danger to the community? Please publicize this school district and their
practices.
Check out my second signature site for a different view of what justice is really
about.
LASaliger@... wrote:
> From: LASaliger@...--
>
> My dh was just kind of blah about the whole hs thing for quite a while.
> I wished he would read some of the books I had read and sometimes I did read
> him excerpts but that was about it. I think time has been the main thing
> that has developed his personal convictions about hsing. Over the years, we
> have seen drastic differences in our kids and the children we know who are in
> the school systems. Some of them seem to do fine but the majority have had
> some serious problems. Also, my parents, who are retired, began working part
> time during the school year as noon duty aids to supplement their income.
> They work in a VERY affluent school district yet we are horrified by what we
> hear from them. Some of it concerns the way kids treat other kids (some of
> the popular kids making fun of and trying to degrade some of the special ed
> kids) and some of it concerns the way the school treats the kids (school
> people who humiliate kids in attempts to control them).
> Recently we are involved in a very serious problem concerning my nephew.
> Last July, a teacher had him stay through lunch for a test and told him she
> would give him a pass to get lunch afterward in the cafeteria. When he went
> to the cafeteria with the pass, the cafeteria worker told him it was too
> late, that they were closed. He argued with her and she responded angrily.
> Then he made the very foolish mistake of gesturing with his finger across his
> throat and said (according to her; his story varies), "My mom's gonna get
> you." They called the police. We helped his parents get him enrolled in an
> independent study private school and he has stayed with us (we live 3 hrs
> away) for part of the time since then. The school still held a meeting,
> expelled him, and now he is being charged with threatening a school official,
> which is a felony. He is 13 years old, has a speech impediment and a
> weakness on the right side of his body from some complications when he was
> born. His public defender says to be prepared that the judge may give him
> 120 days in a youth camp. We, he, his parents, and his other family members
> are really afraid for him. I don't know how he will survive in there or
> whether he will come out of it much worse. This is a first offense for him.
> This town is much worse than others that I know of (it's Lancaster, CA)
> and is doing many things that I feel are a violation of people's rights. But
> I don't trust any school completely. My husband now agrees with me
> completely that we would never subject our children to the arbitrary
> authority of people who work for the schools. I'm sorry this post has gotten
> so long but this thing with my nephew is really on my mind right now.
> Anyway, to those who have reluctant dhs, just do what you know is right,
> share all the info you can with them, and let time begin to show them how
> much healthier and happier your children are hsing. Best wishes...
>
> Lucy Saliger
>
> > Check it out!
> http://www.unschooling.com
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which conserve,
restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in society i.e. restorative
justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/14/99 6:22:32 PM, LASaliger@... writes:
<<He is 13 years old, has a speech impediment and a
weakness on the right side of his body from some complications when he was
born. His public defender says to be prepared that the judge may give him
120 days in a youth camp. We, he, his parents, and his other family members
are really afraid for him. I don't know how he will survive in there or
whether he will come out of it much worse.>>
I hope that your nephew's pediatrician would testify or write a statement
about this condition. I think that would have some credibility with the
judge.
Betsy
<<He is 13 years old, has a speech impediment and a
weakness on the right side of his body from some complications when he was
born. His public defender says to be prepared that the judge may give him
120 days in a youth camp. We, he, his parents, and his other family members
are really afraid for him. I don't know how he will survive in there or
whether he will come out of it much worse.>>
I hope that your nephew's pediatrician would testify or write a statement
about this condition. I think that would have some credibility with the
judge.
Betsy
[email protected]
Betsy,
That is an excellent suggestion (about the pediatrician letter). I'm
going to check into it right away! I'll let you know what happens.
Lucy
That is an excellent suggestion (about the pediatrician letter). I'm
going to check into it right away! I'll let you know what happens.
Lucy
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/15/99 8:06:24 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< I hope that your nephew's pediatrician would testify or write a statement
about this condition. I think that would have some credibility with the
judge.
Betsy >>
Thanks so much for this suggestion; it's something we hadn't thought of
at all and I really think it is a great idea.
Lucy
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< I hope that your nephew's pediatrician would testify or write a statement
about this condition. I think that would have some credibility with the
judge.
Betsy >>
Thanks so much for this suggestion; it's something we hadn't thought of
at all and I really think it is a great idea.
Lucy
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/30/99 12:38:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Bonknit@... writes:
<< << The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion. >>
Wow! I'm thrilled to have a guy answer and so honestly. I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs and still
have a hard time understanding them. I believe I do well though. I
understand
so much more than I ever did. I know that my spending time with my boys is
not going to effect them the way my dh may think. For one thing I have some
of the most stubborn, very male kids that I have ever come across. I am the
minority here and boy do I know it! (pun not intended)
I will read the books you suggested, thanks.
Laura
Laura
Bonknit@... writes:
<< << The socialization of men is distorted in so
many ways. The fear of making boys "mama's boys" is a real confusion. >>
Wow! I'm thrilled to have a guy answer and so honestly. I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs and still
have a hard time understanding them. I believe I do well though. I
understand
so much more than I ever did. I know that my spending time with my boys is
not going to effect them the way my dh may think. For one thing I have some
of the most stubborn, very male kids that I have ever come across. I am the
minority here and boy do I know it! (pun not intended)
I will read the books you suggested, thanks.
Laura
>>WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? IT IS AN OLD POST.
Laura
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/30/99 12:40:36 PM Central Daylight Time,
Bonknit@... writes:
<< I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs.>>
Oh dear heart......SIX BOYS? I have ONE! And he drives me NUTS! LOL
Bonknit@... writes:
<< I have been
raising and living with all men (my dh and 6 sons) for over 20 yrs.>>
Oh dear heart......SIX BOYS? I have ONE! And he drives me NUTS! LOL