Chores (and "Have a fun shower!")
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In a message dated 5/2/02 9:04:35 PM, curtkar@... writes:
<< One more thing, we never call them chores.>>
My kids have never "done a chore," but they have helped lots of ways around
the house.
Today I had done a lot of housecleaning because he had a little birthday
party here tonight (adults mostly) and I was dusty and tired, so an hour
before "time," I went to the back to find clean clothes and shower. Holly
(10) came back to do something, and as she left she said, "Have a fun shower,
mom!"
Showers have never been considered "a chore," either, here. Showers and
baths are fun. Kids haven't been "made" to wash--they do it to play with
toys, or to relax when they're really tired, or in Marty's case to shave his
head, or in Kirby's to wake up before he has to go to work.
Showers are taken for real reasons, not because it's time, or because they've
avoided it until mom made them take one.
Sometimes when they boys were twelvish I might say "Marty, when's the last
time you had a shower?" (meaning I smelled him.) He'd tell me when, and I
might say "Well since you're going to Logan's, could you take one before you
leave?"
I could say "You're not going to Logan's if you don't take a shower."
I could say "You stink, Marty!"
But as they got a bit older they became more self-conscious (in a good way)
about clean clothes and clean bodies, and smelling in the
neutral-to-attractive range.
There are days when there have been other teen boys around all weekend and
they've been in Kirby's room playing video games, sleeping here and there, no
girls around and none expected, and they do begin to smell locker-roomish.
But the sentiment "Have a fun shower!" is common, and I've said to Holly and
others (including my husband and adult company) LOTS of times things about
showers. "Feels good, huh?" about showers on hot, dry, summer days. "I feel
SO much better!" when I come out with wet hair. Or competitions, when kids
were younger, humorous claims of "I'm the cleanest person in this house!" and
the next person to bathe got to brag after that.
I see around me, though, enforced, scheduled baths and showers which involve
some pressure, some shaming, some impatience, and I can't imagine those kids
saying to their moms, or hearing from their moms, "Have a fun shower!"
Sandra
<< One more thing, we never call them chores.>>
My kids have never "done a chore," but they have helped lots of ways around
the house.
Today I had done a lot of housecleaning because he had a little birthday
party here tonight (adults mostly) and I was dusty and tired, so an hour
before "time," I went to the back to find clean clothes and shower. Holly
(10) came back to do something, and as she left she said, "Have a fun shower,
mom!"
Showers have never been considered "a chore," either, here. Showers and
baths are fun. Kids haven't been "made" to wash--they do it to play with
toys, or to relax when they're really tired, or in Marty's case to shave his
head, or in Kirby's to wake up before he has to go to work.
Showers are taken for real reasons, not because it's time, or because they've
avoided it until mom made them take one.
Sometimes when they boys were twelvish I might say "Marty, when's the last
time you had a shower?" (meaning I smelled him.) He'd tell me when, and I
might say "Well since you're going to Logan's, could you take one before you
leave?"
I could say "You're not going to Logan's if you don't take a shower."
I could say "You stink, Marty!"
But as they got a bit older they became more self-conscious (in a good way)
about clean clothes and clean bodies, and smelling in the
neutral-to-attractive range.
There are days when there have been other teen boys around all weekend and
they've been in Kirby's room playing video games, sleeping here and there, no
girls around and none expected, and they do begin to smell locker-roomish.
But the sentiment "Have a fun shower!" is common, and I've said to Holly and
others (including my husband and adult company) LOTS of times things about
showers. "Feels good, huh?" about showers on hot, dry, summer days. "I feel
SO much better!" when I come out with wet hair. Or competitions, when kids
were younger, humorous claims of "I'm the cleanest person in this house!" and
the next person to bathe got to brag after that.
I see around me, though, enforced, scheduled baths and showers which involve
some pressure, some shaming, some impatience, and I can't imagine those kids
saying to their moms, or hearing from their moms, "Have a fun shower!"
Sandra