Re: Just Say No to Ezzo
faith buckley
> Boy oh Boy! Poor faith sure unwittingly opened up a can of worms!And I am truly sorry for it!!! :-)
Faith
Joel Hawthorne
Faith, I absolutely defend your right to raise your children in
whatever way you see fit. I imagine we may find other areas of common
ground but this is not one of them. Please understand that the
following is my opinion, strongly held, based on 50 years of living,
years of schooling and unschooling, and studying human behaviour. I
could be very mistaken but it is what I honestly
believe. Forgive my strong language,
This is extremely difficult for me. I absolutely equate the Ezzo world
view and methodology with the very worst of oppressive, arrogant,
adult-centered, power destroying, life-draining cultism. I know that
there are devout Christian people out there who decry this viewpoint and
espouse attachment parenting. Tragically the results of this kind (Ezzo)
of child rearing technique are like a time bomb which sometimes explodes
in other peoples lives.
The writings of Alice Miller would be a good choice for people wanting
to explore this concept) For Your Own Good specifically. There is a
essay entitled "The Fear of Being Permissive" which is really from a
Judeo-Christian perspective which also explores some of these
observations. I would be happy to email a copy to anyone interested.
Faith, I hope that you do not close your ears to what I have to say
because of the loudness, intensity or perhaps even the abrasiveness of
some of my words. As deeply as you disagree is certainly as deeply as I
believe in what I am saying.
I am unlikely to convince of my position in any case and in some ways I
am speaking to everyone.
Authoritarian methods engender people who follow authority
unquestioningly. Powerful authoritarian figures have historically used
this for their personal power and material gain. They have used it to
promote a wide variety of philosophies and ideologies. Some are
ultimately harmless to the world at large and others become a scourge
for all of humanity. The more power sharing and democratic parenting
methods are, the more independent minded and able to think the children
reared in that method are able to become.
Authoritarian methods breed and cultivate unthinking obedience. I
don't believe it is an easy thing to combine authoritarian methodology
and independent thinking.
Of course many of the people following the Ezzo method are not
interested in independent thinking except to extinguish it.
Believing the human spirit innately corrupt extinguishing it for the
greater glory poses no problems except for how to achieve that necessary
(from their point of view) crushing of independence and
self-determination.
Unfortunately the suffering inflicted on these children echoes down
through history like an spiritual plague.
I have said what I needed to say. A strong opinion yes but honestly
held.
--
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which
conserve, restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in
society i.e. restorative justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
whatever way you see fit. I imagine we may find other areas of common
ground but this is not one of them. Please understand that the
following is my opinion, strongly held, based on 50 years of living,
years of schooling and unschooling, and studying human behaviour. I
could be very mistaken but it is what I honestly
believe. Forgive my strong language,
This is extremely difficult for me. I absolutely equate the Ezzo world
view and methodology with the very worst of oppressive, arrogant,
adult-centered, power destroying, life-draining cultism. I know that
there are devout Christian people out there who decry this viewpoint and
espouse attachment parenting. Tragically the results of this kind (Ezzo)
of child rearing technique are like a time bomb which sometimes explodes
in other peoples lives.
The writings of Alice Miller would be a good choice for people wanting
to explore this concept) For Your Own Good specifically. There is a
essay entitled "The Fear of Being Permissive" which is really from a
Judeo-Christian perspective which also explores some of these
observations. I would be happy to email a copy to anyone interested.
Faith, I hope that you do not close your ears to what I have to say
because of the loudness, intensity or perhaps even the abrasiveness of
some of my words. As deeply as you disagree is certainly as deeply as I
believe in what I am saying.
I am unlikely to convince of my position in any case and in some ways I
am speaking to everyone.
Authoritarian methods engender people who follow authority
unquestioningly. Powerful authoritarian figures have historically used
this for their personal power and material gain. They have used it to
promote a wide variety of philosophies and ideologies. Some are
ultimately harmless to the world at large and others become a scourge
for all of humanity. The more power sharing and democratic parenting
methods are, the more independent minded and able to think the children
reared in that method are able to become.
Authoritarian methods breed and cultivate unthinking obedience. I
don't believe it is an easy thing to combine authoritarian methodology
and independent thinking.
Of course many of the people following the Ezzo method are not
interested in independent thinking except to extinguish it.
Believing the human spirit innately corrupt extinguishing it for the
greater glory poses no problems except for how to achieve that necessary
(from their point of view) crushing of independence and
self-determination.
Unfortunately the suffering inflicted on these children echoes down
through history like an spiritual plague.
I have said what I needed to say. A strong opinion yes but honestly
held.
--
best wishes
Joel
All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/
Work together to reinvent justice using methods that are fair; which
conserve, restore and even create harmony, equity and good will in
society i.e. restorative justice.
We are the prisoners of the prisoners we have taken - J. Clegg
http://www.cerj.org
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/6/99 8:48:33 PM EST, jhawthorne@... writes:
<< Authoritarian methods breed and cultivate unthinking obedience. >>
I have one more quick comment on behalf of Christian parents. The
commandment is, "Children obey your parents IN THE LORD" (key words). This to
me says that if we raise our children appropriately, they will obey. There
will be no need for any method to bring about submission, it will occur
naturally. Now also in Ephesians 6:4, it says, "Fathers, do not exasperate
your children..." Again, the assumption there is that if you act in love with
the childs best interest in mind, instead of your own desire for peace or
control or what have you, the obedience will follow. They will not have a
ridiculous list of rules to adhere to but things that make sense, that they
can identify as neccessary. I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents.
Lori in TX
<< Authoritarian methods breed and cultivate unthinking obedience. >>
I have one more quick comment on behalf of Christian parents. The
commandment is, "Children obey your parents IN THE LORD" (key words). This to
me says that if we raise our children appropriately, they will obey. There
will be no need for any method to bring about submission, it will occur
naturally. Now also in Ephesians 6:4, it says, "Fathers, do not exasperate
your children..." Again, the assumption there is that if you act in love with
the childs best interest in mind, instead of your own desire for peace or
control or what have you, the obedience will follow. They will not have a
ridiculous list of rules to adhere to but things that make sense, that they
can identify as neccessary. I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents.
Lori in TX
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/6/99 9:31:29 PM Central Daylight Time, RRAINENJ@...
writes:
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should
treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
Lori,
Amen!
writes:
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should
treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
Lori,
Amen!
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/6/99 9:31:29 PM Central Daylight Time, RRAINENJ@...
writes:
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should
treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
Lori,
Amen! Amen! and Amen! Very well said :)
Tami
writes:
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should
treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
Lori,
Amen! Amen! and Amen! Very well said :)
Tami
[email protected]
joel,
i am interested in the writings you spoke of. i think we are oftentimes
shortsighted in the midst of the challenges of childraising and so instant
obedience looks so attractive! then we are fertile ground for a
good-sounding rationale for requiring it from our children when one is
offered! that seems to be what i am getting from my acquaintances who like
the ezzo "strategy."
erin
i am interested in the writings you spoke of. i think we are oftentimes
shortsighted in the midst of the challenges of childraising and so instant
obedience looks so attractive! then we are fertile ground for a
good-sounding rationale for requiring it from our children when one is
offered! that seems to be what i am getting from my acquaintances who like
the ezzo "strategy."
erin
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/6/99 9:31:37 PM, RRAINENJ@... writes:
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
here, here!
erin
<< I have noticed that there are not a lot of verses
about childraising in the bible and I believe that is because we should treat
our children like anyone else; with love, patience, respect, etc... Notice
that even God let's us have free will and we blow it often! So it should go
with our children. And that is my two cents. >>
here, here!
erin