Karin

Tia - I don't know why but reading this letter that you wrote to your son
just made me cry.
What a very sweet mom you are!
I hope it makes him feel better about himself and his future.
I think every kid deserves a loving, supporting letter like this at some
point, from their parents.
Thanks for sharing it with us.

Karin



> So I'm the one who convinced him that he was "behind" and needing to be
> "caught up". . . sigh. Since he's a kid who doesn't like to give much
> feedback during a conversation, I've written him a letter. I gave it to
> him last night, and so far he hasn't said anything about it. That's
pretty
> normal for him. He tends to like to think about things for a while. This
> is what I wrote to him. Maybe it will give you some ideas. Maybe someone
> will have more ideas for me. Who knows.
> ****************************************************************
> I want to explore this desire you have to get "caught up". I wonder if you
> believe what the school system believes, that kids are empty vessels who
> need certain kinds of knowledge poured into them. They have to be made to
> learn things because learning isn't any fun. Well Dad and I don't believe
> that's true.
>
> We've watched you absorb knowledge like a sponge since you were
> little. You probably didn't realize you were learning things because it
> was so easy to do. When you were in preschool, I realized that the other
> kids knew the colours, and you didn't. I made a mental note to play some
> colour games or something with you but didn't get around to it. A couple
> of months later, I noticed that you knew the colours. It's been like that
> with all kinds of things.
>
> You still amaze me with your ability to do mental math. You're way better
> than I am at that. I know that you have more trouble with written-down
> math, but most kids do at first. It's just a different skill that you can
> learn when you need it. In fact, I'll bet you could just start right now

> with, say, algebra, and work your way through any gaps in your math
> knowledge as you learned it. (You couldn't do that in school because the
> class would be moving too fast.)
>
> That brings me to purpose for learning. You seem to have little trouble
> finding out what you want to know about bikes and riding. You watch. You
> ask. You read your magazines. You read web pages. You have a purpose,
so
> you learn.
>
> The kids in school have a purpose for learning the stuff they learn. It's
> called grades, and it's totally artificial. Grades don't even show what
> you've actually learned. They're just an average of all the scores you
get
> on homework and tests in a class. You can sort of learn everything that's
> offered in a course and get a C. You can also be really good at part of
it
> while not understanding the rest at all, and you'll still probably get a
> C. You can ask your brother or sisters how much of it you'd remember next
> year, or even next week.
>
> We follow a different philosophy of learning. It's called
> unschooling. Some people call it real learning. Real learning is wanting
> to know something, finding the answers, and enjoying the process. You
> actually do that all the time, though you haven't done it much so far in
> the academic areas.
>
> If the reason you want to get caught up is that you are concerned about
> your future, we can work with that. The first thing to do is think about
> your strengths. What are you good at? I've started a separate list for
> that, which we can add to. Then you think about what you like doing. Once
> you've thought about what you're good at and like doing, then we can help
> you start thinking about your goals. You take what you like and are good
> at, and explore careers that use those strengths and interests.
>
> The next step is to figure out what you need to do in order get started in
> that career. If there's an academic requirement, we can help you meet it.
> It's only at that point that you need to be concerned with "catching up"
> and then only in the areas that you're going to need.
>
> What about university or technical school? Don't assume that graduating
> from high school and going on to university is a good way into a career.
It
> rarely is. If you want to be a doctor or lawyer or veterinarian or
> something like that, you'd need university (and a lot more). But there are
> lots of university grads who still don't know what they want to be when
> they grow up. A lot of them are flipping burgers to pay off their student
> loans. University is expensive. And for a person who doesn't use reading
> and writing as their preferred way of learning, it can be painful. I'm
> sure you could do it if it was your only path into your chosen career, but
> there are probably ways that would work better for you.
>
> There are lots of jobs that pay well that don't involve university.
> Electricians, plumbers, welders, sound technicians, for instance. Those
> usually involve a short college course and then maybe an apprenticeship.
> You get paid during an apprenticeship, and you learn by doing. The book
> learning is minimal for those kinds of jobs. They are also physical jobs,
> which you seem to lean toward. I know you don't want to plant trees for a
> living, but there are physical jobs that aren't so hard on your body and
> pay better.
>
> You also have a very good business sense that could be developed if you
> chose to start your own business. I could see you opening a bike store one
> day or running eco tours. (Taking groups of people mountain bike camping,
> for instance.) I could see you building furniture or houses or . . . Once
> you really start exploring your strengths and interests, you'll be able to
> think of lots of ideas. We can help you figure out how to make your dreams
> come true, but you have to find the dreams.
> ***********************************************************************
> Tia
>
> No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
> Eleanor Roosevelt
> *********************************************
> Tia Leschke
> leschke@...
> On Vancouver Island
>
>