[Unschooling-dotcom] New question
[email protected]
Hi all, I am new here, have been lurking for a few days and reading the
recent discussions.
My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with. It
makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or that
is math or history, etc.
Please also help me to find ways to move dh along. BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura
recent discussions.
My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with. It
makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or that
is math or history, etc.
Please also help me to find ways to move dh along. BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura
[email protected]
In a message dated 04/21/2002 1:55:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
bonknit@... writes:
<< My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from >>
Also we are just ending our 3rd year of hsing so the kids have had some time
to detox.
Laura
bonknit@... writes:
<< My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from >>
Also we are just ending our 3rd year of hsing so the kids have had some time
to detox.
Laura
Karen
Whoa, it's like looking in a mirror...
We've been hsing 3 years, I have a 6yo dd and nearly-11 yo ds, and all
the same questions you do.
I feel like I'm coming along fine on the new paradigm, dd is fine because
she doesn't know any better than to live and learn, but ds still has
schoolish thinking. (He was in ps K-2). He recently picked up and read a
biography of Babe Ruth, so when I noticed a TV movie about his life I
pointed it out and we sat down to watch it. A friend came by to play and
Sean said not now, he was doing school(!) I nearly choked. I let it go at
the time, but I continue to quietly stress that there's no such thing as
school, it's all just life.
I did ask him if he thought he was learning more now and he said yes.
Have you talked with them about it? What are they measuring themselves
against? I also point out unschoolers' websites or Grace Llewyllen's books
too, but it's like he doesn't think that applies to him. When I notice he
knows something I didn't "teach" him, I'll point it out in an offhand way,
showing him he's picked it up himself. I think a lot of it is that school
tells them they *can't* learn by themselves and are fools to think so, and
then TV and church and other kids all reinforce that. You're the lone voice
empowering them, and that's an uphill battle. Are there any projects or
money-making ideas they could get going to see what autonomy feels like?
(And not wait till after college, like most people?)
Then there's dh. Since we've always been relaxed, he hasn't noticed the
unschooling since he works out of town during the week. I'm gradually
exposing him to the concepts, but I could see it going both ways: acceptance
or rejection. I just keep my fingers crossed.
I'm going to sit down here beside you now and see what others have to
say...
Karen
My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with. It
makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or
that
is math or history, etc.
Please also help me to find ways to move dh along. BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura<<
We've been hsing 3 years, I have a 6yo dd and nearly-11 yo ds, and all
the same questions you do.
I feel like I'm coming along fine on the new paradigm, dd is fine because
she doesn't know any better than to live and learn, but ds still has
schoolish thinking. (He was in ps K-2). He recently picked up and read a
biography of Babe Ruth, so when I noticed a TV movie about his life I
pointed it out and we sat down to watch it. A friend came by to play and
Sean said not now, he was doing school(!) I nearly choked. I let it go at
the time, but I continue to quietly stress that there's no such thing as
school, it's all just life.
I did ask him if he thought he was learning more now and he said yes.
Have you talked with them about it? What are they measuring themselves
against? I also point out unschoolers' websites or Grace Llewyllen's books
too, but it's like he doesn't think that applies to him. When I notice he
knows something I didn't "teach" him, I'll point it out in an offhand way,
showing him he's picked it up himself. I think a lot of it is that school
tells them they *can't* learn by themselves and are fools to think so, and
then TV and church and other kids all reinforce that. You're the lone voice
empowering them, and that's an uphill battle. Are there any projects or
money-making ideas they could get going to see what autonomy feels like?
(And not wait till after college, like most people?)
Then there's dh. Since we've always been relaxed, he hasn't noticed the
unschooling since he works out of town during the week. I'm gradually
exposing him to the concepts, but I could see it going both ways: acceptance
or rejection. I just keep my fingers crossed.
I'm going to sit down here beside you now and see what others have to
say...
Karen
>>Hi all, I am new here, have been lurking for a few days and reading therecent discussions.
My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with. It
makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or
that
is math or history, etc.
Please also help me to find ways to move dh along. BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura<<
[email protected]
In a message dated 04/21/2002 7:17:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbmatlock@... writes:
<< We've been hsing 3 years, I have a 6yo dd and nearly-11 yo ds, and all
the same questions you do. >>
I am sure that much of it has to do with having been in school as I get much
more of it from my 14yro than the 11yro. On a funny note my 11yro was mad at
me the other day and told me that if I had a job like other moms and he was
in school he would be able to read better. I thought that line of reasoning
was hilarious.
Laura
kbmatlock@... writes:
<< We've been hsing 3 years, I have a 6yo dd and nearly-11 yo ds, and all
the same questions you do. >>
I am sure that much of it has to do with having been in school as I get much
more of it from my 14yro than the 11yro. On a funny note my 11yro was mad at
me the other day and told me that if I had a job like other moms and he was
in school he would be able to read better. I thought that line of reasoning
was hilarious.
Laura
Tia Leschke
>Well, I think *I've* finally gotten unschooling, but my 14 yo ds
> My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
>unschooling lifestyle? How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
>telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
>had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I know
>where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with. It
>makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or that
>is math or history, etc.
> Please also help me to find ways to move dh along. BTW, my kids are 11
>and 14, both boys.
hasn't. There aren't any homeschoolers around here that he can relate to,
so all of his friends go to school or are finished with it. He doesn't
say, but I'm pretty sure he gets a lot of questions about what he studies
and stuff. And I'm sure he gets a lot of brainwashing about school being
the way into a career and all that.
The other night he asked me if we could get him into a "program" to get
"caught up". I asked what his purpose was for getting "caught up", and all
he had was a vague, "I might want to go to university." I know this isn't
him *wanting* to go to university. It's him thinking he *should* go.
Most of this problem has been caused by me. Having panicked when he wasn't
reading at 12, I pushed. That taught him that I didn't believe he could
learn to read on his own. Several months after that, and after I'd come to
my senses and stopped the forced reading practice, he said he might want to
go to school the next year. I was *really* reluctant to send a kid who was
barely reading and writing to grade 8. Aside from the problems I figured
he would have coping with the work load, I could just see the teacher's
union using his lack of skills in language arts to lobby for more control
over homeschoolers. So I told him he needed to be caught up to grade level
in the basics before he could go. Of course now I wonder if maybe I should
have just let him go.
So I'm the one who convinced him that he was "behind" and needing to be
"caught up". . . sigh. Since he's a kid who doesn't like to give much
feedback during a conversation, I've written him a letter. I gave it to
him last night, and so far he hasn't said anything about it. That's pretty
normal for him. He tends to like to think about things for a while. This
is what I wrote to him. Maybe it will give you some ideas. Maybe someone
will have more ideas for me. Who knows.
****************************************************************
I want to explore this desire you have to get "caught up". I wonder if you
believe what the school system believes, that kids are empty vessels who
need certain kinds of knowledge poured into them. They have to be made to
learn things because learning isn't any fun. Well Dad and I don't believe
that's true.
We've watched you absorb knowledge like a sponge since you were
little. You probably didn't realize you were learning things because it
was so easy to do. When you were in preschool, I realized that the other
kids knew the colours, and you didn't. I made a mental note to play some
colour games or something with you but didn't get around to it. A couple
of months later, I noticed that you knew the colours. It's been like that
with all kinds of things.
You still amaze me with your ability to do mental math. You're way better
than I am at that. I know that you have more trouble with written-down
math, but most kids do at first. It's just a different skill that you can
learn when you need it. In fact, I'll bet you could just start right now
with, say, algebra, and work your way through any gaps in your math
knowledge as you learned it. (You couldn't do that in school because the
class would be moving too fast.)
That brings me to purpose for learning. You seem to have little trouble
finding out what you want to know about bikes and riding. You watch. You
ask. You read your magazines. You read web pages. You have a purpose, so
you learn.
The kids in school have a purpose for learning the stuff they learn. It's
called grades, and it's totally artificial. Grades don't even show what
you've actually learned. They're just an average of all the scores you get
on homework and tests in a class. You can sort of learn everything that's
offered in a course and get a C. You can also be really good at part of it
while not understanding the rest at all, and you'll still probably get a
C. You can ask your brother or sisters how much of it you'd remember next
year, or even next week.
We follow a different philosophy of learning. It's called
unschooling. Some people call it real learning. Real learning is wanting
to know something, finding the answers, and enjoying the process. You
actually do that all the time, though you haven't done it much so far in
the academic areas.
If the reason you want to get caught up is that you are concerned about
your future, we can work with that. The first thing to do is think about
your strengths. What are you good at? I've started a separate list for
that, which we can add to. Then you think about what you like doing. Once
you've thought about what you're good at and like doing, then we can help
you start thinking about your goals. You take what you like and are good
at, and explore careers that use those strengths and interests.
The next step is to figure out what you need to do in order get started in
that career. If there's an academic requirement, we can help you meet it.
It's only at that point that you need to be concerned with "catching up"
and then only in the areas that you're going to need.
What about university or technical school? Don't assume that graduating
from high school and going on to university is a good way into a career. It
rarely is. If you want to be a doctor or lawyer or veterinarian or
something like that, you'd need university (and a lot more). But there are
lots of university grads who still don't know what they want to be when
they grow up. A lot of them are flipping burgers to pay off their student
loans. University is expensive. And for a person who doesn't use reading
and writing as their preferred way of learning, it can be painful. I'm
sure you could do it if it was your only path into your chosen career, but
there are probably ways that would work better for you.
There are lots of jobs that pay well that don't involve university.
Electricians, plumbers, welders, sound technicians, for instance. Those
usually involve a short college course and then maybe an apprenticeship.
You get paid during an apprenticeship, and you learn by doing. The book
learning is minimal for those kinds of jobs. They are also physical jobs,
which you seem to lean toward. I know you don't want to plant trees for a
living, but there are physical jobs that aren't so hard on your body and
pay better.
You also have a very good business sense that could be developed if you
chose to start your own business. I could see you opening a bike store one
day or running eco tours. (Taking groups of people mountain bike camping,
for instance.) I could see you building furniture or houses or . . . Once
you really start exploring your strengths and interests, you'll be able to
think of lots of ideas. We can help you figure out how to make your dreams
come true, but you have to find the dreams.
***********************************************************************
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/21/2002 5:06:17 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
leschke@... writes:
respectful - if you took what he said at face value. What I mean is, you may
feel like he doesn't really want to go to a university - but so what? Most
kids will change their minds a b'zillion times about what they want to do in
the future. Sometimes it is hard to take them seriously when today they plan
to become an underwater photographer and yesterday they planned to be a
doctor <G>. But - still - I'd take it reasonably seriously - to the point,
for example, of going and looking at a number of college catalogs and seeing
what the entrance requirements look like. He may just have concerns that his
future is not being "looked after." He might be able to enjoy unschooling
more if he had more reassurance that future options weren't being closed to
him because of "lack of preparation" now. "University" - might be a sort of
euphemism for that idea of "future options."
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
leschke@... writes:
> The other night he asked me if we could get him into a "program" to getStill, Tia, I think it would be respectful - make the point that you WILL be
> "caught up". I asked what his purpose was for getting "caught up", and all
>
> he had was a vague, "I might want to go to university." I know this isn't
> him *wanting* to go to university. It's him thinking he *should* go.
>
respectful - if you took what he said at face value. What I mean is, you may
feel like he doesn't really want to go to a university - but so what? Most
kids will change their minds a b'zillion times about what they want to do in
the future. Sometimes it is hard to take them seriously when today they plan
to become an underwater photographer and yesterday they planned to be a
doctor <G>. But - still - I'd take it reasonably seriously - to the point,
for example, of going and looking at a number of college catalogs and seeing
what the entrance requirements look like. He may just have concerns that his
future is not being "looked after." He might be able to enjoy unschooling
more if he had more reassurance that future options weren't being closed to
him because of "lack of preparation" now. "University" - might be a sort of
euphemism for that idea of "future options."
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/21/2002 7:14:57 PM Pacific Daylight Time, PSoroosh
writes:
So - your letter to him is exactly what I meant. We adults put so much
thought into the unschooling decision and we sometimes expect that the kids
will just "get it." To write out an explanation of your thinking is SO COOL.
Even if he comes back with arguments or 'yeah, but' and still worrying - it
is the road to being a "team." And that is SO important to establish now -
because even AS a team, those teen years can be hard on parent-child
relationships.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> He might be able to enjoy unschooling more if he had more reassurance thatI hit send before I finished...sorry.
> future options weren't being closed to him because of "lack of preparation"
> now. "University" - might be a sort of euphemism for that idea of "future
> options."
So - your letter to him is exactly what I meant. We adults put so much
thought into the unschooling decision and we sometimes expect that the kids
will just "get it." To write out an explanation of your thinking is SO COOL.
Even if he comes back with arguments or 'yeah, but' and still worrying - it
is the road to being a "team." And that is SO important to establish now -
because even AS a team, those teen years can be hard on parent-child
relationships.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/21/2002 10:55:31 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
bonknit@... writes:
watch out for some examples you can give people.
And, you know that you don't have to explain unschooling to just anybody,
right?
For those you DO want to explain it to - the kids themselves and your dh, for
example, you might have a look at Carol Narigon's "Unschooling Curriculum" on
Sandra's website. http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum.html
You could spend a little time rewriting it for your own kids -- and then ask
your husband to help you go over it <G>.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bonknit@... writes:
> ItYou'll stop feeling phony - and it'll come more naturally, eventually. Just
> makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this or
> that
> is math or history, etc.
watch out for some examples you can give people.
And, you know that you don't have to explain unschooling to just anybody,
right?
For those you DO want to explain it to - the kids themselves and your dh, for
example, you might have a look at Carol Narigon's "Unschooling Curriculum" on
Sandra's website. http://sandradodd.com/unschoolingcurriculum.html
You could spend a little time rewriting it for your own kids -- and then ask
your husband to help you go over it <G>.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bonni Sollars
Hi Laura, I have two sons aged 14&11 too. I also have a 9 y.o. son and a
7y.o. daughter. I'm not sure how long it has been since your kids were
in school, but I think the de-schooling process takes longer the longer
they were in school. I wouldn't worry about it too much, since it is a
process. Really listening to them talk about their interests is so
important. To overhear their conversations with one another, and to
watch what they do in their spare time, then write it down and be aware
of it seems to help me. Then we attract it like magnets, I think because
when we see it we recognize it as an interest. At the beginning of our
unschooling odysssey, I said, okay, so how do you want to do it? The
kids said they wanted required reading, writing and math. So I wrote it
down on the wall for them to remind themselves with. After a while, they
were only requiring themselves to do math. Then, as they were spending
all their time doing the things they were interested in, they forgot
about the math. They seem to always have a theme that they are doing.
It usually lasts a week or two, then they are into something new. It
keeps them busy, and me too. I've taken to writing down what they are
doing and making a weekly unschooling newspaper chronicling it so that I
can show it to my husband or relatives who are clueless about
unschooling. I also print out posts and articles that explain and show
how unschooling works. I have a little folder I keep these in for
reference and show them to my husband as they come up.
Bonni
7y.o. daughter. I'm not sure how long it has been since your kids were
in school, but I think the de-schooling process takes longer the longer
they were in school. I wouldn't worry about it too much, since it is a
process. Really listening to them talk about their interests is so
important. To overhear their conversations with one another, and to
watch what they do in their spare time, then write it down and be aware
of it seems to help me. Then we attract it like magnets, I think because
when we see it we recognize it as an interest. At the beginning of our
unschooling odysssey, I said, okay, so how do you want to do it? The
kids said they wanted required reading, writing and math. So I wrote it
down on the wall for them to remind themselves with. After a while, they
were only requiring themselves to do math. Then, as they were spending
all their time doing the things they were interested in, they forgot
about the math. They seem to always have a theme that they are doing.
It usually lasts a week or two, then they are into something new. It
keeps them busy, and me too. I've taken to writing down what they are
doing and making a weekly unschooling newspaper chronicling it so that I
can show it to my husband or relatives who are clueless about
unschooling. I also print out posts and articles that explain and show
how unschooling works. I have a little folder I keep these in for
reference and show them to my husband as they come up.
Bonni
Joan Wilson
Laura wrote:
< My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? >
[Joan Wilson]
For those that are not as accepting to the idea of unschooling I keep it
brief. I may let them know what we are "studying" or doing, i.e. hiking --
"We have recently been exploring natural sciences using the different state
parks in our area. We have been exploring how the different eco systems
work both on their own and with each other. What is your family learning
about?" or "What is your child studying?".
Or maybe "My one son has been reading the original version of Journey To
The Center Of The Earth. I know this is not suggested reading until Middle
or High School but he has found it interesting on his own accord and is
capable of reading and understanding it. What are your children reading?"
And she wrote:
<How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I
know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with.>
My reply is:
My son went through this also. Peer pressure from his friends that go to
school. He went to K - part of 3rd.
I asked him what did he want that he thought he was missing out on?
Homework? We can do that but we don't want to or need to. Drama? We can
do that at different places to. Learning how to read? He knows how.
Having to read what someone tells him to read? He didn't like that idea.
They are into wresteling - he is not. Baseball? Did that outside of school.
Diploma? Not a problem - I explained that there are people that have been
and are helpful in that area should he need one. College? Not there yet -
but he will go if he wishes to. A good job? Not there yet either. But
unless he goes to college, the only thing that may matter is being old
enough or having a diploma or an idea and the determination to learn what he
needs and to carry out his dream. Age is a matter of time and having a
diploma is not going to be a problem, the rest is up to him when he is
ready. He finally decided he was not missing anything.
Then I had a talk with the friends and explained that this works for us
and that this or that may be important to them or thier parents it was not
something that is required in order to have a normal fulfilling life for
some people. Come to find out -- they both want to do what we are doing
instead of going to school.
As for my son thinking he is not learning anything ... a little "review"
of his life and what we have been doing helped. I reminded him that he can
and is able to do mathamatical equations in his head that I require a
calculator to perform. I have also asked him things like "Did you know such
and such before we read/heard/found out about it?" or I will ask his friends
what they have been learning in school and relate back to them in front of
my son or later to just him what we have done recently in real life that
would be equivilant.
She also wrote:
< It makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this
or that is math or history, etc.>
My response is:
Then don't. If you do and you feel phony it probably comes off as
phony -- What if you let them know that putting it this way doesn't feel
right to you -- it feels phony -- but what is school? - a phony way of
presenting real life. What if you let them know that if this was a lesson
in school it would fall under the subject of Math or History or Social
Studies or Home Economics or Physical Education - but school needs to divide
things or life into subjects in order to study that one entity and it is up
to the student to find away to incorporate the information into thier own
real life.
Perhaps at 14 he knows what he wants but just needs help on how to get
there. And depending on how long you've been Homeschooling or Unschooling
maybe he just needs a break. Then again if he really feels a need to
"study" for something - How does he feel about studying for his GED or the
CHSPE (I don't know what state you are in or what is in your state -- in CA
these are tests for high school completion or equivalency).
And finanlly she wrote:
<Please also help me to find ways to move dh along.>
My thoughts are:
This is a problem with my hubby also. I think pamS has a very good
suggestion in her reply with the suggestion of using Carol Narigon's
"Unschooling Curriculum" on Sandra's website.
Course, I just never even gave him a choice in the matter and continue to
explain to him that school is not at all what it was when he was in school
(he's
now in his 50's) and perhaps he would like to spend some time going to one
to see first hand the things that I myself have witnessed. And I also
remind him of the homework that our son would bring home and how he (hubby)
would say "They had him there for 6 hours - if they can't teach him in that
amount of time then what are they doing with that time -- there is no reason
he should need to bring home this work -- this is the time he has to play"
etc. And then I remind him of my response of "they don't have time to teach
children in school ... that is why they send the work home for us to teach
them".
< BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura >
Ours are 32, 11 and 5 - all boys.
I wish you the best in your journeys through life and learning,
Joan
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
< My question is How do you deal with others as you move towards an
unschooling lifestyle? >
[Joan Wilson]
For those that are not as accepting to the idea of unschooling I keep it
brief. I may let them know what we are "studying" or doing, i.e. hiking --
"We have recently been exploring natural sciences using the different state
parks in our area. We have been exploring how the different eco systems
work both on their own and with each other. What is your family learning
about?" or "What is your child studying?".
Or maybe "My one son has been reading the original version of Journey To
The Center Of The Earth. I know this is not suggested reading until Middle
or High School but he has found it interesting on his own accord and is
capable of reading and understanding it. What are your children reading?"
And she wrote:
<How about when it's the kids themselves that keep
telling you they are not learning anything when you know they are? My kids
had previously been in school and play with kids who go to school so I
know
where some of the flack comes from but it is still so hard to deal with.>
My reply is:
My son went through this also. Peer pressure from his friends that go to
school. He went to K - part of 3rd.
I asked him what did he want that he thought he was missing out on?
Homework? We can do that but we don't want to or need to. Drama? We can
do that at different places to. Learning how to read? He knows how.
Having to read what someone tells him to read? He didn't like that idea.
They are into wresteling - he is not. Baseball? Did that outside of school.
Diploma? Not a problem - I explained that there are people that have been
and are helpful in that area should he need one. College? Not there yet -
but he will go if he wishes to. A good job? Not there yet either. But
unless he goes to college, the only thing that may matter is being old
enough or having a diploma or an idea and the determination to learn what he
needs and to carry out his dream. Age is a matter of time and having a
diploma is not going to be a problem, the rest is up to him when he is
ready. He finally decided he was not missing anything.
Then I had a talk with the friends and explained that this works for us
and that this or that may be important to them or thier parents it was not
something that is required in order to have a normal fulfilling life for
some people. Come to find out -- they both want to do what we are doing
instead of going to school.
As for my son thinking he is not learning anything ... a little "review"
of his life and what we have been doing helped. I reminded him that he can
and is able to do mathamatical equations in his head that I require a
calculator to perform. I have also asked him things like "Did you know such
and such before we read/heard/found out about it?" or I will ask his friends
what they have been learning in school and relate back to them in front of
my son or later to just him what we have done recently in real life that
would be equivilant.
She also wrote:
< It makes me feel phony when I try to explain to them how them doing this
or that is math or history, etc.>
My response is:
Then don't. If you do and you feel phony it probably comes off as
phony -- What if you let them know that putting it this way doesn't feel
right to you -- it feels phony -- but what is school? - a phony way of
presenting real life. What if you let them know that if this was a lesson
in school it would fall under the subject of Math or History or Social
Studies or Home Economics or Physical Education - but school needs to divide
things or life into subjects in order to study that one entity and it is up
to the student to find away to incorporate the information into thier own
real life.
Perhaps at 14 he knows what he wants but just needs help on how to get
there. And depending on how long you've been Homeschooling or Unschooling
maybe he just needs a break. Then again if he really feels a need to
"study" for something - How does he feel about studying for his GED or the
CHSPE (I don't know what state you are in or what is in your state -- in CA
these are tests for high school completion or equivalency).
And finanlly she wrote:
<Please also help me to find ways to move dh along.>
My thoughts are:
This is a problem with my hubby also. I think pamS has a very good
suggestion in her reply with the suggestion of using Carol Narigon's
"Unschooling Curriculum" on Sandra's website.
Course, I just never even gave him a choice in the matter and continue to
explain to him that school is not at all what it was when he was in school
(he's
now in his 50's) and perhaps he would like to spend some time going to one
to see first hand the things that I myself have witnessed. And I also
remind him of the homework that our son would bring home and how he (hubby)
would say "They had him there for 6 hours - if they can't teach him in that
amount of time then what are they doing with that time -- there is no reason
he should need to bring home this work -- this is the time he has to play"
etc. And then I remind him of my response of "they don't have time to teach
children in school ... that is why they send the work home for us to teach
them".
< BTW, my kids are 11
and 14, both boys.
Laura >
Ours are 32, 11 and 5 - all boys.
I wish you the best in your journeys through life and learning,
Joan
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