[email protected]

In a message dated 4/18/02 3:02:16 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< people are telling me I need to take him to a pediatrician and get him
"diagnosed" because he may have some sort of problem. I just don't feel that
he could possibly be any of these things (hyperactive, add, whatever)
because he has a very long attention span for something he is interested in,
very very long. >>


Ok, first of all I would listen very carefully to my inner voice and my
knowledge of that child, NOT what other people think I should do.
But you probably already feel that in your heart and are just needing
reassurance.
What you said about the ADD label is innacurate...he probably would be
diagnosed with it. Because I've seen "severe ADD" kids focus intently on
things they are interested in for hours. Interest will focus a person.
ADD is not a disability unless you're in school and a teacher needs you to
conform.
Outside of school it is a useless label. By following your child's lead, by
trusting them to develop, you are doing exactly what he needs.
What would a diagnoses do in this case? Would it change what you were doing?
Would it help you understand him better and suit situations to him better?
If not, then what is the purpose of a diagnoses.
There are reasons to get diagnoses of certain problems. I would hate to see
depression go undiagnosed in certain individuals. Or Autism..
But ADD only exists in schools.
Outside of school I think one could consider it a different learning style
(isn't it interesting how unique we all are?).
And as to the social skills that may be lacking....
I have a dd with none of the other symptoms you mentioned that will not
acknowledge or look at people most of the time. She does not like talking to
strangers....never has.
But she's a chatter box once she's comfortable with a person, which can take
a while.
If she hasn't seen a relative for a while they get the same cold treatment.
I have no doubt that this is a stage, that I will have a very socially
skilled young lady one day.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I truly believe that as I've seen an extremely shy son
open up in amazing ways in the last year or two.
I say trust him...if he's happy, your immediate family is happy, that's
important.
The outside relatives want the diagnoses it sounds like. I personally would
give it time and maybe in a couple years some of their fears will be allayed
somewhat.
Ren