Re: Digest Numer 1923
Jeff & Kate Kerr
In a message dated 4/10/02 10:02:19 AM, corina_crane@... writes:
<< If he quits, he'll regrett it later. >>
If he stays, he'll regret it now. And it might turn him against ever
wanting
whatever the next course up is.
<<He agreed to this! He wanted this!>>
He agreed without knowing what it would be like. You can't hold an
eleven
year old to something he had never experienced before.
Would you hold yourself to finish a course you really hated?
Yes I would. If I have made a commitment to something, I need to see it
though to the end, at 11 or 36 years of age. A commitment is a
commitment. I hope that this is something that I am teaching my
children - follow through. I am at the tail end of a year long
commitment to something that I am not liking. But I chose to do this,
maybe without fully knowing what I was getting myself into, and I have
certainly wanted to run screaming in the opposite direction more than a
few times this past year, but in the process of fulfilling my commitment
I have learned things about myself. I think that learning to follow
through on your agreements is character building, and that in my book is
absolutely necessary.
Kate
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its
best night and day to make you like everybody else means
to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and
never stop fighting.
e.e. cummings
<< If he quits, he'll regrett it later. >>
If he stays, he'll regret it now. And it might turn him against ever
wanting
whatever the next course up is.
<<He agreed to this! He wanted this!>>
He agreed without knowing what it would be like. You can't hold an
eleven
year old to something he had never experienced before.
Would you hold yourself to finish a course you really hated?
Yes I would. If I have made a commitment to something, I need to see it
though to the end, at 11 or 36 years of age. A commitment is a
commitment. I hope that this is something that I am teaching my
children - follow through. I am at the tail end of a year long
commitment to something that I am not liking. But I chose to do this,
maybe without fully knowing what I was getting myself into, and I have
certainly wanted to run screaming in the opposite direction more than a
few times this past year, but in the process of fulfilling my commitment
I have learned things about myself. I think that learning to follow
through on your agreements is character building, and that in my book is
absolutely necessary.
Kate
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its
best night and day to make you like everybody else means
to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and
never stop fighting.
e.e. cummings
Fetteroll
on 4/10/02 6:05 PM, Jeff & Kate Kerr at windystreet@... wrote:
aren't enjoying?
To me, though, a committment is when I've said I'll do something and other
people are counting on me to do it. Who am I inconveniencing or hurting if I
don't complete something I've begun for myself if I'm not enjoying it?
I think learning to stick with something you dislike is much easier than
learning to discern when it's best to stick something out and when to cut
your losses. In fact millions of kids are learning that first lesson right
now in school.
Are the lessons learned from imposed adversity worth the imposing? Or could
we have learned something even better with the time we spent doing something
we didn't enjoy?
of being a decent human being. If I agree to take a class, who am I
inconveniencing if I drop it?
Joyce
(a regular poster)
> Yes I would. If I have made a commitment to something, I need to see itWhy do you *need* to? What happens if you stop doing something that you
> though to the end, at 11 or 36 years of age.
aren't enjoying?
To me, though, a committment is when I've said I'll do something and other
people are counting on me to do it. Who am I inconveniencing or hurting if I
don't complete something I've begun for myself if I'm not enjoying it?
I think learning to stick with something you dislike is much easier than
learning to discern when it's best to stick something out and when to cut
your losses. In fact millions of kids are learning that first lesson right
now in school.
> but in the process of fulfilling my commitmentWe can learn from adversity. We can also learn in the absence of adversity.
> I have learned things about myself.
Are the lessons learned from imposed adversity worth the imposing? Or could
we have learned something even better with the time we spent doing something
we didn't enjoy?
> I think that learning to followI think learning not to inconvenience others for frivolous reasons is part
> through on your agreements is character building, and that in my book is
> absolutely necessary.
of being a decent human being. If I agree to take a class, who am I
inconveniencing if I drop it?
Joyce
(a regular poster)
joanna514
> Would you hold yourself to finish a course you really hated?see it
>
>
> Yes I would. If I have made a commitment to something, I need to
> though to the end, at 11 or 36 years of age. A commitment is athis,
> commitment. I hope that this is something that I am teaching my
> children - follow through. I am at the tail end of a year long
> commitment to something that I am not liking. But I chose to do
> maybe without fully knowing what I was getting myself into, and Ihave
> certainly wanted to run screaming in the opposite direction morethan a
> few times this past year, but in the process of fulfilling mycommitment
> I have learned things about myself. I think that learning to followbook is
> through on your agreements is character building, and that in my
> absolutely necessary.Who would be "put out" if you don't follow through on your commitment?
>
> Kate
That's a question that needs to be asked before giving something up.
I stopped taking an English course in college, because the professor
was an a**hole. I stopped taking guitar lessons when I realized I
really didn't have the time to commit, wiht two small children at
home.
My kids have stopped things here and there. But they have joined
things where quitting would have put others out, and without me
forcing them, they stuck it out as a matter of decency.
Joanna
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/10/2002 3:36:13 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
windystreet@... writes:
who believe that kids and adults should always follow through IF other people
are depending on them - that makes sense to me even though, even then, I
think there are times to make a different choice - but I don't understand the
point of carrying through on something I am not wanting to continue, just
because I started it. I'm too much of an economist, I guess, to accept the
idea of wasting more of my time doing something just because I spent some
time already. That time I already spent is a sunk cost - and it doesn't make
economic sense to make decisions based on sunk costs.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
windystreet@... writes:
> I think that learning to followWow - interesting to me to meet someone who thinks that way. I know people
> through on your agreements is character building, and that in my book is
> absolutely necessary.
who believe that kids and adults should always follow through IF other people
are depending on them - that makes sense to me even though, even then, I
think there are times to make a different choice - but I don't understand the
point of carrying through on something I am not wanting to continue, just
because I started it. I'm too much of an economist, I guess, to accept the
idea of wasting more of my time doing something just because I spent some
time already. That time I already spent is a sunk cost - and it doesn't make
economic sense to make decisions based on sunk costs.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Diane
This whole discussion on quitting leads me to remember that I was in my 30's
before I realized I didn't *have* to finish a book once I'd started it.
Yeah, I know--slow learner... <grin>
:-) Diane
PSoroosh@... wrote:
before I realized I didn't *have* to finish a book once I'd started it.
Yeah, I know--slow learner... <grin>
:-) Diane
PSoroosh@... wrote:
> In a message dated 4/10/2002 3:36:13 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
> windystreet@... writes:
>
> > I think that learning to follow
> > through on your agreements is character building, and that in my book is
> > absolutely necessary.
>
> Wow - interesting to me to meet someone who thinks that way. I know people
> who believe that kids and adults should always follow through IF other people
> are depending on them - that makes sense to me even though, even then, I
> think there are times to make a different choice - but I don't understand the
> point of carrying through on something I am not wanting to continue, just
> because I started it. I'm too much of an economist, I guess, to accept the
> idea of wasting more of my time doing something just because I spent some
> time already. That time I already spent is a sunk cost - and it doesn't make
> economic sense to make decisions based on sunk costs.
>
> --pamS
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/11/02 6:49:07 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
cen46624@... writes:
were 8 and 12. She wasn't going to buy a curriculum, but make up her own
lessons. A year or so passed, and I was over visiting her, and she said "I
don't care which books they read, the only rule is if they start it they have
to finish it."
I asked her if she finished every book she started. She looked at me with
Very SLOW recognition and said no.
I told her she was training them not to start reading any books.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cen46624@... writes:
> This whole discussion on quitting leads me to remember that I was in my 30'sA family I knew really well in the SCA decided to homeschool when their kids
> before I realized I didn't *have* to finish a book once I'd started it.
>
>
were 8 and 12. She wasn't going to buy a curriculum, but make up her own
lessons. A year or so passed, and I was over visiting her, and she said "I
don't care which books they read, the only rule is if they start it they have
to finish it."
I asked her if she finished every book she started. She looked at me with
Very SLOW recognition and said no.
I told her she was training them not to start reading any books.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
My grandfather use to make all of us kids laugh about finishing books. He
told us that he never finished a book that was still boring after the 3rd
chapter, he would just skip to the last chapter so he would know how it
ended. He use to say that sometimes the ending was so interesting that he
would go back and finish the whole book. then he would look at us real
seriously and say, "Don't force yourself to finish a book unless it is
really, really important to you, otherwise it will make you goofy and don't
let anyone tell you different. It's your face, after all." and then he
would make funny faces.
He created a whole generation of book lovers because we felt like reading
was our choice and we were in control of what we read. We were never made
to feel guilt or anything negative about not finishing a book.
Lynda
told us that he never finished a book that was still boring after the 3rd
chapter, he would just skip to the last chapter so he would know how it
ended. He use to say that sometimes the ending was so interesting that he
would go back and finish the whole book. then he would look at us real
seriously and say, "Don't force yourself to finish a book unless it is
really, really important to you, otherwise it will make you goofy and don't
let anyone tell you different. It's your face, after all." and then he
would make funny faces.
He created a whole generation of book lovers because we felt like reading
was our choice and we were in control of what we read. We were never made
to feel guilt or anything negative about not finishing a book.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, April 12, 2002 8:43 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Digest Numer 1923
> In a message dated 4/11/02 6:49:07 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
> cen46624@... writes:
>
>
> > This whole discussion on quitting leads me to remember that I was in my
30's
> > before I realized I didn't *have* to finish a book once I'd started it.
> >
> >
>
> A family I knew really well in the SCA decided to homeschool when their
kids
> were 8 and 12. She wasn't going to buy a curriculum, but make up her own
> lessons. A year or so passed, and I was over visiting her, and she said
"I
> don't care which books they read, the only rule is if they start it they
have
> to finish it."
>
> I asked her if she finished every book she started. She looked at me with
> Very SLOW recognition and said no.
>
> I told her she was training them not to start reading any books.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
[email protected]
It was a liberating experience for me, in my late teens or early twenties, to decide that I did not have to finish reading a book. By that time, I had tried about five times, without success, to finish "It" by Stephen King.
It was also liberating to determine that it was not only "okay" to write in books but that it also made them more valuable to me later on.
I wonder where or how we learn the balance between blind commitment and dangerous wanderlust.
Kate Davis
My grandfather use to make all of us kids laugh about finishing books. He
told us that he never finished a book that was still boring after the 3rd
chapter, he would just skip to the last chapter so he would know how it
ended. He use to say that sometimes the ending was so interesting that he
would go back and finish the whole book. then he would look at us real
seriously and say, "Don't force yourself to finish a book unless it is
really, really important to you, otherwise it will make you goofy and don't
let anyone tell you different. It's your face, after all." and then he
would make funny faces.
He created a whole generation of book lovers because we felt like reading
was our choice and we were in control of what we read. We were never made
to feel guilt or anything negative about not finishing a book.
Lynda
It was also liberating to determine that it was not only "okay" to write in books but that it also made them more valuable to me later on.
I wonder where or how we learn the balance between blind commitment and dangerous wanderlust.
Kate Davis
My grandfather use to make all of us kids laugh about finishing books. He
told us that he never finished a book that was still boring after the 3rd
chapter, he would just skip to the last chapter so he would know how it
ended. He use to say that sometimes the ending was so interesting that he
would go back and finish the whole book. then he would look at us real
seriously and say, "Don't force yourself to finish a book unless it is
really, really important to you, otherwise it will make you goofy and don't
let anyone tell you different. It's your face, after all." and then he
would make funny faces.
He created a whole generation of book lovers because we felt like reading
was our choice and we were in control of what we read. We were never made
to feel guilt or anything negative about not finishing a book.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, April 12, 2002 8:43 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Digest Numer 1923
> In a message dated 4/11/02 6:49:07 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
> cen46624@... writes:
>
>
> > This whole discussion on quitting leads me to remember that I was in my
30's
> > before I realized I didn't *have* to finish a book once I'd started it.
> >
> >
>
> A family I knew really well in the SCA decided to homeschool when their
kids
> were 8 and 12. She wasn't going to buy a curriculum, but make up her own
> lessons. A year or so passed, and I was over visiting her, and she said
"I
> don't care which books they read, the only rule is if they start it they
have
> to finish it."
>
> I asked her if she finished every book she started. She looked at me with
> Very SLOW recognition and said no.
>
> I told her she was training them not to start reading any books.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Tia Leschke
>I wonder where or how we learn the balance between blind commitment andWhen we're kids and the consequences of choosing wrongly are more
>dangerous wanderlust.
benign. Kids need a lot of chances to try things out with little or no
commitment. They also need a lot of chances to make and keep or not keep
commitments to other people so they can experience how it feels inside to
let someone down. (I'm not talking required stuff here, just chances that
come up in daily life, like maybe agreeing to babysit and backing down at
the last minute - and then not getting called again by that family.)
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island