TheQueen

Some of you may recall that I responded to a question about personality and
structure. I said I was going to ask my friend (a brillant person, I might
add) about this since she knows so much about personalities. She,
apparently, knows enough about *me* to read between the lines of my post to
her…. Enough to know that I needed my friend to ‘form a circle’ around me
and sing my song. (Thank you, SarahA.). I thought some of the other ladies
on this list might want to consider trying to hear their own songs as well.
(ps… Thanks, Sarah. I love you!)
Her post:
<> They're Playing Your Song
> >
> > By Alan Cohen
> > author of "Living from the Heart."
> >
> > When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant,
> > she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together
> > they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child.
> > They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that
> > expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women
> > attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return
> > to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.
> >
> > When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the
> > child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters
> > education, the village gathers and chants the child's song.
> > When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood,
> > the people again come together and sing. At the time of
> > marriage, the person hears his or her song.
> >
> > Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the
> > family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they
> > did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.
> >
> > When I have shared this story in my lectures, a fair amount
> > of people in the audience come to tears. There is something
> > inside each of us that knows we have a song, and we wish
> > those we love would recognize it and
> > support us to sing it.
> >
> > In some of my seminars I ask people to verbalize to a partner
> > the one phrase they wish their parents had said to them as a
> > child. Then the partner lovingly whispers it in their ear. This
> > exercise goes very deep, and many significant insights start
> > to click. How we all long to be loved, acknowledged, and
> > accepted for who we are!
> >
> > In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which
> > the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her
> > life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the
> > individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the
community
> > form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to
> > them.
> >
> > The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior
> > is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity.
> > When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need
> > to do anything that would hurt another.
> >
> > A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you
> > when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled
> > by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about
> > yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your
> > wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel
> > guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
> >
> > One summer when I was a teenager I went to visit my cousin
> > and her family in Wilmington, Delaware. One afternoon she
> > took me to the community pool, where I met a man who
> > changed my life. Mr. Simmons talked to me for about ten
> > minutes. It wasn't what he said that affected me so deeply;
> > it was how he listened to me. He asked me questions about
> > my life, my feelings, and my interests.
> >
> > The unusual thing about Mr. Simmons was that he paid
> > attention to my answers. Although I had family, friends,
> > and teachers, this man was the only person in my world who
> > seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and valued
> > me for who I was.
> >
> > After our brief conversation I never saw him again. I probably
> > never will. I'm sure he had no idea that he gave me the gift
> > of a lifetime. Maybe he was one of those angels who show up
> > for a brief mission on earth, to give someone faith, confidence,
> > and hope when they most need it.
> >
> > If you do not give your song a voice, you will feel lost, alone,
> > and confused. If you express it, you will come to life. I have
> > also done a workshop exercise in which everyone in the room
> > is given a piece of paper with the name of a simple song on it,
> > such as "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little
> > Star." In the whole group there are perhaps eight different
> > songs, and a half-dozen people have the same song named
> > on their paper.
> >
> > Each person is then asked to mill around the room while they
> > whistle or hum their song. When they find someone else
> > playing the same song, they stay together until they find
> > everyone who is singing that song. Thus they create small
> > groups that serve as touchstones for the duration of
> > the program. Life is very much like this exercise. We attract
> > people on a similar wavelength so we can support each other
> > to sing aloud. Sometimes we attract people who challenge us
> > by telling us that we cannot or should not sing our song in
> > public. Yet these people help us too, for they stimulate us
> > to find greater courage to sing it.
> >
> > You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings
> > your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always
> > reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when
> > you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches
> > your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't. In the end,
> > we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel
> > a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great
> > singers. Just keep singing and you'll find your way home.
> >
> > The Women's Spiritual Network>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sarah Carothers
puddles@...



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bonni Sollars

Sarah, I believe I have heard my song, at least the music. It is
strange. Whenever I am feeling stressed or am super-busy, in the middle
of it I will start humming a song to myself. It has no words, but I can
hear musical instruments playing it. It gives me peace and harmony and
joy. I can never think of it on purpose, though. It just comes to me
when I need it. I've never heard it on the radio or in choirs or
symphonies. It is the most soothing, beautiful song I've ever heard. It
is uniquely mine from God. Someday I might capture it on tape, if it
comes to me when a tape recorder is near.
What a wonderful friend! My best friend is LeeAnn. We seem to have been
born to be friends. Even when we get out of touch for a while, when we
get back together, it's like we are twins or something. We find out the
other one has had the same types of problems at the same time. One time
when we lived in separate states, my kids got seed ticks at the same time
her kids got head lice. We were both dealing with heebeejeebees over it.
Then we called eachother and found out about the other one. We get
sick/healthy at the same time, have marital problems/blessings at the
same time, trouble/blessings with our kids at the same time, go through
the same emotions-positive and negative- at the same time, have money
problems/blessings at the same time. But it's not just the experiences,
it is the similarity in feelings and beliefs and conclusions that we come
to as a result of the experiences that makes it special. It is like we
are always on the same wavelength or something. Recently, we have moved
away from eachother socially, since our kids aren't little anymore and
she is working and I am busy. And we are both making other close
friendships at the same time, too. Even so, it seems like we are closer
than ever. We meet once a week and support one another as best we can,
whether by helping with housecleaning or giving a shoulder to cry on or
just encouraging words. When I was growing up, my sisters and I were
separated by divorce. I was alone a lot, and felt an outsider a lot.
When my friend was growing up, she was separated from her brothers and
was alone alot and felt an outsider a lot. How good of God to give me a
"sister" now that I am grown and my own sisters live so far away.
Bonni

Tia Leschke

This is beautiful, Sarah. Thanks. And thank your friend.
Tia


> > > By Alan Cohen
> > > author of "Living from the Heart."

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island