[email protected]

In a message dated 03/19/2002 11:53:02 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> Some people need more structure to their lives than others. Can a child
> who needs structure be unschooled?? And can they be unschooled in their
> early years when they don't know what it is they need or what it is called
> but they just know that a free-flowing day isn't what they need or want.
>
>

Unschooling doesn't preclude structure. As my son gets older, I am finding
he's added more structure to how and what he wants to learn. Even in a young
child, an aware parent can recognize the child's need or desire for some
structure in the day -- whether it's around a specially-enjoyed tv show, a
story before bed, or regular meals.

The question is whether a child--any child-- needs school-like or other
externally demanded structure. I really believe the need for that structure
is the parent's need, not the child's. Some children may feel safer or more
comfortable with a regular rhythm to their days, but I don't think that's the
same as requiring specific learning activity.

I suspect that many families who unschool have a great deal of structure.
Only some families have free-flowing days. If you have a kid who's a
passionate dancer and his classes are at certain times, that's structure. If
you live in a rural area and it makes sense to go to the library on the same
day that you grocery shop, that's structure too.

A child who wants more structured learning will create it. Or an observant
parent can mention, "I noticed that you really enjoyed studying bugs in that
structured way. What captured your interest so much? Are you interested in
learning other things that way, or was it specific to that topic?"

I really do believe that unschooling can work for any kid, but not
necessarily every parent. Or even every parent with every kid. It can be hard
to let go of our worries and panics, and we often ascribe them to our
children rather than ourselves.

My sister, who adores her children, would be a terrible homeschooler. She
worries ALL the time, and has a challenging son, who is really smart, spacey,
sweet, weird, lovely, and magical. She and Sean would drive each other nuts
within a week. Cheryl sends him to a local public school and volunteers for
many hours a week, both in his classroom and in others. I think Sean would
shine brilliantly unschooled, but it would never work for their family. (I
just sent Cheryl Grace Llewellyn's new book, Guerilla Learning.)

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

alaurashome

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., KathrynJB@a... wrote:
The question is whether a child--any child-- needs school-like or
other
externally demanded structure. I really believe the need for that
structure
is the parent's need, not the child's.


Kathryn,

I believe that your belief is based on your experience (as most
beliefs are.) I also believe that not everyone experiences the same
response to unschooling, therefore your statement cannot apply to
everyone.

I have had personal experience with a child who does need an
external structure. Unschooling was my desire - I (the parent)did
not have the need for structure. Unschooling was a disaster for my
daughter. It made her edgy and upset. She hated it. She created
her own school plan and it was very harsh and demanding. I had to
step in before she had a nervous breakdown. She also hates open
ended questions. She is a perfectionist and she has always been
hard on herself. She has wonderful loving parents who have not done
anything to cause her to be this way. It is just the way she has
always been. She spilled a glass of milk when she was 2 and became
quite hysterical. People watching probably erroneously assumed that
her parents had been overly harsh in the past when she spilled
things. The truth is that she had never accidently spilled anything
before.

She is now 14 and studying Classical Literature. She is reading and
enjoying things that would put me to sleep. She did fine from
September until January. When she started showing signs of stress,
I stepped in and asked her to take some time off. She refused
saying that she needed to finish what she had scheduled. I found
some light, fun reading choices and put those on her schedule
instead. She thanked me and hugged me with tears in her eyes. I
have spent most of her homeschooling years running similar
interferences. I also spend a great deal of time telling her how
wonderful she is as a human being and that studying hard does not
make me love her more. I know that some will read what I have
written and choose not to believe me. I can't help that; all I can
say is "you have not walked in my shoes." Please do not judge what
you have not experienced.

Alaura

rumpleteasermom

Alaura,

I believe you and Amen to that last sentence!!!!

Bridget


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "alaurashome" <alaurashome@y...>
wrote:
I know that some will read what I have
> written and choose not to believe me. I can't help that; all I can
> say is "you have not walked in my shoes." Please do not judge what
> you have not experienced.
>
> Alaura

alaurashome

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "rumpleteasermom"
<rumpleteasermom@j...> wrote:
> Alaura,
>
> I believe you and Amen to that last sentence!!!!
>
> Bridget
>
>
Thank you Bridget!!!!

Alaura :)