Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] alarming generalizations (sorry, long)
Lynda
I think folks need to step away from their personal experiences which shadow
what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
Some of my fondest memories are from weekends spent at Noni's with all the
family around and the noise level just about at the illegal point.
Folks need to not take words such as loud and make it into something it
isn't. Loud has nothing to do with abuse. The reverse can be equally as
true. I know lots of families that are extremely quiet and it was all about
abuse.
Lynda
what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
Some of my fondest memories are from weekends spent at Noni's with all the
family around and the noise level just about at the illegal point.
Folks need to not take words such as loud and make it into something it
isn't. Loud has nothing to do with abuse. The reverse can be equally as
true. I know lots of families that are extremely quiet and it was all about
abuse.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <cleopatra@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, March 19, 2002 12:44 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] alarming generalizations (sorry, long)
>
> Hi all, Jacli (Cleopatra) here :)
>
> Just a quick note. As much as I enjoy and learn from every
> digest on this list I
> still felt a need to add this note. I am a dark skinned
> Costa Rican with 7 sisters and brothers and my hubby one of
> three and is from Northern Italian. Every time I read a
> post about Irish or Italian families
> yelling or Spanish/Mexican families having bad tempers I
> cringe. It reminds me of
> nasty comments made by teachers when I was little about
> Mexicans being lazy
> or assumptions by highschool boys about Spanish girls.
>
> I do not believe that any person on this list wrote with
> malicious intent but I do
> believe that these kinds of generalizations hurt and
> cripple. My parents were both
> abusers. Physically, emotionally. Growing up in my house
> was akin to growing up in
> a battlefield. My father was vicious and my mother
> mentally unstable. I never knew
> what would set her off, every day, every night was a trip
> through the minefields.
>
> I remember once an aunt of mine happened by just after my
> father had punched my 4 year
> old brother's head into a wall (he had spilt milk on the
> table). She sent my uncle into the room to take care of
> him while she tended to my black eye and split lip. I
> remember her breath on my face
> while she told me it was not his fault, since their father
> beat all of them. I also remember
> thinking, no it is his fault.
>
> My father and mother were abusers. Not because of past
> connections or treatment or
> even because of being Costa Rican. They were abusers
> period. My father was a silent striker.
> He didn't yell. He didn't raise his voice. Just his fist.
>
>
> My husband has a gentle nature and a soft spoken way. His
> family live in America now and are as different from mine
> as night and day. They are extraordinarrily quiet and
> jovial and gentle people.
>
> I think we need always to remember that people are who they
> are because of the choices they make and the environment
> they make them in. I am a very quiet individual, so are
> most of my brothers and sisters. Except for the ones who
> are loud. Because that's just the way they are.
>
> I don't usually share this much personal info (ever
> actually) nor do I usually write long posts.
> But I had to write and let folks know that at least one
> person has been offended by the use of
> these generalizations.
>
> thanks for listening
>
>
>
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>
>
Kara Bauer
I think folks need to step away from their personal experiences which shadow
what they read.>>
But isn't that how we learn? By starting with what we know and then going from there? If I hadn't of had the life I did, I can tell you I wouldn't be the person I am today.
Kara Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
what they read.>>
But isn't that how we learn? By starting with what we know and then going from there? If I hadn't of had the life I did, I can tell you I wouldn't be the person I am today.
Kara Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kolleen
>Lynda wrote:*waving hand here*
>I think folks need to step away from their personal experiences which shadow
>what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
>they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
>vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
Half Italian, Half Irish here.. and oh what fun we had as kids at
extended family gatherings.. which were almost every night...
We were loud, we yell, we move our hands a lot... so no, I did not find
the original post to be negative.. I found it to be nostalgic.
kolleen
"People take different roads seeking
fulfillment and happiness. Just
because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
[email protected]
I think folks need to step away from their personal experiences which shadow
what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
Some of my fondest memories are from weekends spent at Noni's with all the
family around and the noise level just about at the illegal point.
Folks need to not take words such as loud and make it into something it
isn't. Loud has nothing to do with abuse. The reverse can be equally as
true. I know lots of families that are extremely quiet and it was all about
abuse.
Lynda
***I also thought that's what you said, Lynda
This is from an email I wrote in reply but it was right before yahoo went
down so maybe you didn't see it:
<<<Lynda said:
"Some" react that way but the
majority, in your situation, grow up to be abusers since they were
desensitized to it and think it is the norm.
**I just want to be sure I understand what you wrote.Are you saying that the
majority of people who grow up in a home where loudtalking/hollering is
normal grow up to be abusers?.>>>
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein
what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
Some of my fondest memories are from weekends spent at Noni's with all the
family around and the noise level just about at the illegal point.
Folks need to not take words such as loud and make it into something it
isn't. Loud has nothing to do with abuse. The reverse can be equally as
true. I know lots of families that are extremely quiet and it was all about
abuse.
Lynda
***I also thought that's what you said, Lynda
This is from an email I wrote in reply but it was right before yahoo went
down so maybe you didn't see it:
<<<Lynda said:
"Some" react that way but the
majority, in your situation, grow up to be abusers since they were
desensitized to it and think it is the norm.
**I just want to be sure I understand what you wrote.Are you saying that the
majority of people who grow up in a home where loudtalking/hollering is
normal grow up to be abusers?.>>>
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Kara Bauer" <KaraBauer4@m...> wrote:
wouldn't be the person I am today.
beliefs play into how we read other's words. For example, I might say
my kids "gotta" do the dishes everyday. And what that amounts to IN
REAL LIFE is that my kids do the dishes most of the time. Somedays
the dishes just sit there, some days they get done at midnight and
some days dh or I might do them. But by saying that little word
"gotta" I've made people who are used to dealing with others who are
authoritarian believe that I am that way too, when it is just a matter
of sloppy semantics and odd nuances of words.
So if you like me have generalities on your household about who does
what, you are much more likely to take my statement the way I meant
than of you are at either end of the spectrum, the authoritarian end
or the "no requirements" end. So your point of view affect show you
see my words and vice versa.
Bridget
>going from there? If I hadn't of had the life I did, I can tell you I
> But isn't that how we learn? By starting with what we know and then
wouldn't be the person I am today.
>http://explorer.msn.com
> Kara Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :
>Yes that's true but it is also true that our own experiences and
beliefs play into how we read other's words. For example, I might say
my kids "gotta" do the dishes everyday. And what that amounts to IN
REAL LIFE is that my kids do the dishes most of the time. Somedays
the dishes just sit there, some days they get done at midnight and
some days dh or I might do them. But by saying that little word
"gotta" I've made people who are used to dealing with others who are
authoritarian believe that I am that way too, when it is just a matter
of sloppy semantics and odd nuances of words.
So if you like me have generalities on your household about who does
what, you are much more likely to take my statement the way I meant
than of you are at either end of the spectrum, the authoritarian end
or the "no requirements" end. So your point of view affect show you
see my words and vice versa.
Bridget
Lynda
I sent a reply to your e-mail but I'm thinking it was one of those that
Yahoo ate! My answer was a resounding "no."
My original comments were with regards to desensitizing situations. If you
grow up around loud families, then you don't notice the decibel level.
Folks that don't grow up around it will see it in a totally different light
OR be absolutely bombarded by it.
Lynda
Yahoo ate! My answer was a resounding "no."
My original comments were with regards to desensitizing situations. If you
grow up around loud families, then you don't notice the decibel level.
Folks that don't grow up around it will see it in a totally different light
OR be absolutely bombarded by it.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <ElissaJC@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2002 6:07 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] alarming generalizations (sorry, long)
> I think folks need to step away from their personal experiences which
shadow
> what they read. I wrote about Italian and Irish families. They are loud,
> they yell (to be heard, not at people) alot and they are extremely happy,
> vivacious people. That is NOT a negative thing.
>
> Some of my fondest memories are from weekends spent at Noni's with all the
> family around and the noise level just about at the illegal point.
> Folks need to not take words such as loud and make it into something it
> isn't. Loud has nothing to do with abuse. The reverse can be equally as
> true. I know lots of families that are extremely quiet and it was all
about
> abuse.
> Lynda
> ***I also thought that's what you said, Lynda
> This is from an email I wrote in reply but it was right before yahoo went
> down so maybe you didn't see it:
> <<<Lynda said:
> "Some" react that way but the
> majority, in your situation, grow up to be abusers since they were
> desensitized to it and think it is the norm.
>
> **I just want to be sure I understand what you wrote.Are you saying that
the
> majority of people who grow up in a home where loudtalking/hollering is
> normal grow up to be abusers?.>>>
>
>
> ~Elissa Cleaveland
> "It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
> have
> not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein
>
>
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
rumpleteasermom
We went to calling hours for my uncle tonight. I rode home with my
mom and we were talking about this! Reminiscing about the uncle who
died ten years ago and how much he loved to argue!!!! And how much we
all loved to argue with him!
Bridget
mom and we were talking about this! Reminiscing about the uncle who
died ten years ago and how much he loved to argue!!!! And how much we
all loved to argue with him!
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
If you
> grow up around loud families, then you don't notice the decibel
level.
> Folks that don't grow up around it will see it in a totally
different light
> OR be absolutely bombarded by it.
>
> Lynda