Sara Johnson

Beth,

I have found a major difference between my boy & girl. My girl is sweet,
compassionate, responsible, she understands things & thinks things through,
while my boy (who is 2.5 yrs. older) acts clueless most of the time. He
needs to be told over & over again the same things (like to blow his nose or
to answer his sister when she's talking to him.) He appears to be way more
self-centered than his sis--I understand kids are supposed to be
self-centered. If she gets hurt he's more upset that she can't play with
him than concerned about how she's feeling. He's always been more advanced
with using his body than his intellect. He can build anything with legos &
once showed his dad how to put the futon back up (having never done it
before.) Girl has been more intellectually gifted. All in all I see a huge
difference between them & their interests are also different. As far as
potty training, we really forced it on the oldest & it wasn't very nice for
any of us. With the second, we let it go & she's almost 5 & wears a pull up
when she sleeps still but she just suddenly stopped wearing daytime diapers
around 2.5. I've heard that boys take longer to get the toilet thing than
girls.

FWIW,
Sara

I am continually amazed at the
difference between them that seems to be solely due to gender differences as
I'm
pretty sure I don't parent her much differently than I did him at the same
age.
Have any of you come across this in your family???

This was a lot longer than I intended...guess I'm no longer lurking:)

Beth- busy mommy to Shawn and Shannon, my precious angels.

oh...today we started intense potty training....I think I'm not using the
unschooling method here because I initiated it, but Shawn had NO accidents
today
and went to bathroom to pee a number of times without telling me! So I'm
pretty
sure my gut instincts were right and he is ready, but was holding out for
the
attention due to little sister. What is your experience with this?


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yikerssss!! WHY ARE YOU ALL PICKIN ON EACH OTHER?? i guess we get defensive
when we are afraid or not sure of ourselves.... I Have gotten off other lists
of homesteaders and such because of ARGUMENTS~~~ Once someone told me to lose
the caps! OK well anyway, I agree that kids will naturally choose good stuff
for themselves much of the time......tv, stories, even food!> EVENTUALLY
(after 3 days of candy and ice cream ) THEY WILL ASK FOR BROCCOLI!!!!!! they
really will!!!! BUT ~ i am still thinking and aware of the
subconscious.......i have had sexually abused foster children in my care.
What makes a person do that? Someone once suggested to me that society has
raised the bar on what "excites" a person by tv and lewdness and movies and
what's acceptable. I BELIEVE STRONGLY in not protecting kids from all this by
pretending it doesnt exist. THats ludicrous. We watch tv tog. and discuss and
the kids are pretty opionated let me tell ya~~~I also wonder though about how
the subconscious doesn't find killing wrong after seeing it over and over on
a video game or tv, or doesnt find sex with a 3 yr old wrong because sex
with adults is boring when we watch it all the time on tv. I was wondering
what you all think about letting the tv be absorbed into their subconscious.
I let my 8 year old choose what he watches and he 's able to turn off scary
stuff. Even so.....the 5 yr old twins need guidance.......i believe this is
pretty important and i m trying to figure it out for my kids and me. I am a
single adoptive (former foster mom) of 31 children. I adopted 3 and im about
as open minded as they come. I realize reading back what i wrote, that i
might sound VICTORIAN to some of you!!!! any ideas or opinions??? Elissa~! we
jsut spent teh weekend in Syracuse. Good luck!!! ~Denise

Kolleen

>Denise wrote:
>BUT ~ i am still thinking and aware of the
>subconscious.......i have had sexually abused foster children in my care.
>What makes a person do that? Someone once suggested to me that society has
>raised the bar on what "excites" a person by tv and lewdness and movies and
>what's acceptable.

I'm not sure if there is more of perversion going on, or if they are just
out in the open more so it appears to be more of a problem. I'm honestly
not sure.

And this does go back to a nature vs. nurture situation. Personally, I
don't feel a child would grow up to hurt another life (of any kind) if
they have been modeled full respect for life (of all kinds) as a child.

> I BELIEVE STRONGLY in not protecting kids from all this
>by
>pretending it doesnt exist. THats ludicrous. We watch tv tog. and discuss
>and
>the kids are pretty opionated let me tell ya~~~I also wonder though about
>how
>the subconscious doesn't find killing wrong after seeing it over and over on
>a video game or tv, or doesnt find sex with a 3 yr old wrong because sex
>with adults is boring when we watch it all the time on tv. I was wondering
>what you all think about letting the tv be absorbed into their subconscious.

I'm sorry Denise, I'm not following your question or your train of
thought. Could you please clarify?

From what I'm reading, it sounds like you dont' feel TV is an issue??? Am
I right?

>I let my 8 year old choose what he watches and he 's able to turn off scary
>stuff. Even so.....the 5 yr old twins need guidance.......i believe this is
>pretty important and i m trying to figure it out for my kids and me.

I think scary shows should be viewed with another person to talk it out
with. And if its too scary, I find they will usually tell you. Again, it
might be the hour I'm reading this, or my brain has finally come to a
complete stop, but I think I need clarification on your question.

And, that is SOME track record with kids you have.. blessed be!

regards,
kolleen


"People take different roads seeking
fulfillment and happiness. Just
because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

rumpleteasermom

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., dmm5692@a... wrote:
I realize reading back what i wrote,
that i
> might sound VICTORIAN to some of you!!!! any ideas or opinions???


You don't sound Victorian to me. I NEVER limit content of TV, but
I understand why some people do. I have only ever had to limit one of
mine as to the amount of time spent and as stated before, he is a
special case although he's not the only one in the world.

Bridget