On ''extramurals''
ECHSA
Hi
Lynda wrote about a mom who hikes her kids to 101 different activities every
day. Then she asked:...my real question is how do folks handle young
children who see something on television or hear about a friend doing it and
do the "me too" routine. Do you rush out and sign them up for ballet
because they saw a ballarina on tv? Or sign them up for karate because they
like to watch the Karate Kid movies. Or do you try and set up some activity
with a homeschooling group so they can "play" at it until they are older and
really know what it is that they want or buy them a ballarina costume so
they can play at home. Not to say that they don't "want" to be a ballarina
at that moment, just that what they want is to play at it, not get serious
about it
and take lessons in a very organzied sense.
...AND, also, how much is too much. I thought it was a bit too much to haul
a 2 yo around 6 days a week (plus he has sunday school on sundays) and on
some days to 3 different activities.
Someone once said: "It is hard to be a homeschooling family if you are never
at home!"
One could probably also say: ''It is hard to be an unschooling family if you
are always taking classes?''
Where I live there is a very strong pressure for kids to be doing all sorts
of ''enrichment'' stuff - to the extent that you can find yourself being
frowned upon as somewhat neglectful if your kids aren't. Seems crazy to me -
I know kids who are at school from 7h30 till 13h30, then rush off to pack in
2 or 3 activites in the afternoon, after which they rush home to do homework
and tumble into bed so that they can do the same thing the other days of the
week. Where is the time to just be a child? And/or to learn about life? I'm
not even touching on the real learning that we are discovering in
unschooling!!!
Anyway, years ago we thrashed out a ''policy'' that works for our family,
and means that everyone has something and their mom isn't going crazy trying
to keep up with the taxi service!
Basically, everyone may (not must) select 1 or 2 activites (not more) for
the year. In November we/they begin to reflect and plan what they will be.
The first month of the new year is spent selecting these activities (trying
out various things they are interested in). Then they make our choices,
settle down and get on with it. We spend a lot of time chatting during this
period; it has become a valuable time in our family of self-discovery and
discovering each other. We also pray - God made each one unique, and with
special giftings, passions and interests. Discovering these is like opening
presents at Christmas; an exciting and special experience. The challenge is
in stilling the outside noise (other people's opinions, outside pressures
etc) enough to hear from God and from the person inside what these giftings,
passions and interests are - what makes you tick. Who are you and what
should you be doing right now to develop and/or express that uniqueness?
(This by the way is THE key attraction of unschooling for me - it stills the
noise and makes it easier to hear...)
So, I have one daughter who has a passion for dance; seems to have been born
with it. For her the choices are easy; she continues with Ballet and adds
Irish dance for this year. (For the past 3 years it has been Spanish dance).
Very structured, very disciplined, but right for her.
On the other hand, our son, who last year experienced all the pressures of
his friends playing cricket, soccer, rugby etc, and who really felt he
needed to do likewise, has found his heart - it is so exciting. He has
discovered his passion for science. So now he doesn't want to do a so-called
extramural; he has asked for an equivalent allowance to spend at the Science
shop, and has got into rocketry and electronics.
With regard to the 'not more than 2' limit, I have explained why to the
kids - I am concerned that there won't be enough time for them to do other
important things, that they will become pressurised and stressed, it doesn't
quite fit in with this still new unschooling lifestyle we are pursuing,
also, there
is a limit to how much driving one mom (with a 6month old baby) can do in a
week, and that there is not enough money available in the budget for more.
However, if someone really feels strongly about doing an additional
'extramural', let's talk. Maybe we can find a way of circumventing the
problems. Especially with regard to the older children, I have suggested
that there may be ways of earning the money to pay for another activity if
they really want it. So far they have been happy with the 2 activity quota,
and agree with the reasons - I know because I have heard them explaining
them to their friends!!
Regards
Cathy
Lynda wrote about a mom who hikes her kids to 101 different activities every
day. Then she asked:...my real question is how do folks handle young
children who see something on television or hear about a friend doing it and
do the "me too" routine. Do you rush out and sign them up for ballet
because they saw a ballarina on tv? Or sign them up for karate because they
like to watch the Karate Kid movies. Or do you try and set up some activity
with a homeschooling group so they can "play" at it until they are older and
really know what it is that they want or buy them a ballarina costume so
they can play at home. Not to say that they don't "want" to be a ballarina
at that moment, just that what they want is to play at it, not get serious
about it
and take lessons in a very organzied sense.
...AND, also, how much is too much. I thought it was a bit too much to haul
a 2 yo around 6 days a week (plus he has sunday school on sundays) and on
some days to 3 different activities.
Someone once said: "It is hard to be a homeschooling family if you are never
at home!"
One could probably also say: ''It is hard to be an unschooling family if you
are always taking classes?''
Where I live there is a very strong pressure for kids to be doing all sorts
of ''enrichment'' stuff - to the extent that you can find yourself being
frowned upon as somewhat neglectful if your kids aren't. Seems crazy to me -
I know kids who are at school from 7h30 till 13h30, then rush off to pack in
2 or 3 activites in the afternoon, after which they rush home to do homework
and tumble into bed so that they can do the same thing the other days of the
week. Where is the time to just be a child? And/or to learn about life? I'm
not even touching on the real learning that we are discovering in
unschooling!!!
Anyway, years ago we thrashed out a ''policy'' that works for our family,
and means that everyone has something and their mom isn't going crazy trying
to keep up with the taxi service!
Basically, everyone may (not must) select 1 or 2 activites (not more) for
the year. In November we/they begin to reflect and plan what they will be.
The first month of the new year is spent selecting these activities (trying
out various things they are interested in). Then they make our choices,
settle down and get on with it. We spend a lot of time chatting during this
period; it has become a valuable time in our family of self-discovery and
discovering each other. We also pray - God made each one unique, and with
special giftings, passions and interests. Discovering these is like opening
presents at Christmas; an exciting and special experience. The challenge is
in stilling the outside noise (other people's opinions, outside pressures
etc) enough to hear from God and from the person inside what these giftings,
passions and interests are - what makes you tick. Who are you and what
should you be doing right now to develop and/or express that uniqueness?
(This by the way is THE key attraction of unschooling for me - it stills the
noise and makes it easier to hear...)
So, I have one daughter who has a passion for dance; seems to have been born
with it. For her the choices are easy; she continues with Ballet and adds
Irish dance for this year. (For the past 3 years it has been Spanish dance).
Very structured, very disciplined, but right for her.
On the other hand, our son, who last year experienced all the pressures of
his friends playing cricket, soccer, rugby etc, and who really felt he
needed to do likewise, has found his heart - it is so exciting. He has
discovered his passion for science. So now he doesn't want to do a so-called
extramural; he has asked for an equivalent allowance to spend at the Science
shop, and has got into rocketry and electronics.
With regard to the 'not more than 2' limit, I have explained why to the
kids - I am concerned that there won't be enough time for them to do other
important things, that they will become pressurised and stressed, it doesn't
quite fit in with this still new unschooling lifestyle we are pursuing,
also, there
is a limit to how much driving one mom (with a 6month old baby) can do in a
week, and that there is not enough money available in the budget for more.
However, if someone really feels strongly about doing an additional
'extramural', let's talk. Maybe we can find a way of circumventing the
problems. Especially with regard to the older children, I have suggested
that there may be ways of earning the money to pay for another activity if
they really want it. So far they have been happy with the 2 activity quota,
and agree with the reasons - I know because I have heard them explaining
them to their friends!!
Regards
Cathy