ECHSA

Hi all
In response to this comment:
> <<I like to be the bad guy :) It makes me feel like I'm doing my job>>
Julie wrote:
> I realize that this was a rather flippant remark, but I think it is very
crucial to the success of unschooling. How do we see our "job"? Are we
supporters and facilitators? Are we co-conspirators in the joy of living?
Or are we on another team than our kids are on? Are we working against them
rather than with them? Who is in charge of us? of the kids? Vital
questions.<

Yes! My questions exactly (amongst 1000 or so others...)
I have been unschooling now for 5 months (we were laid-back, unstructured
homeschoolers before), and have been diligently doing my ''homework'',
wading through copious mails on both Unschooling.com and AlwaysLearning in
search of the really good unschooling stuff that comes up every now and
then. I have read John Holt's 'How Children Learn' and 'How Children Fail'
and 'Learning All the Time'. What I have seen in my children convinces me
that I am on the right track.
BUT:
I want to know how you experienced unschoolers see yourselves and your roles
in your children's lives. So much of what seemed to be my role in the past
is changing. It is quite challenging seeing the new modus operandi. I should
mention that I am a Christian, and this remains bottom line for me. I want
to know how Unschooling Christian parenting looks. (And whether I am
becoming anything like it!!!!!!!!!!!)
Opinions? Thoughts? Ideas?
Regards
Cathy

psam ordener

> I want to know how you experienced unschoolers see yourselves and your
roles
> in your children's lives. So much of what seemed to be my role in the past
> is changing. It is quite challenging seeing the new modus operandi. I
should
> mention that I am a Christian, and this remains bottom line for me. I want
> to know how Unschooling Christian parenting looks. (And whether I am
> becoming anything like it!!!!!!!!!!!)

I see myself as a facilitator. My child wants to learn about the world; as
a parent, it's my job to help him do that. We don't have the adversarial
relationship we had when he was in school, and it seemed my job was to force
him to do reams of meaningless homework every night.

We're all in this together. I'm older and have more experience as well as
the legal responsibility for the children, so they have to defer to my
judgement in some areas. They're young and excited about learning and I
defer to their wishes about their education, finding that all those
mysterious "gaps" that educrats worry about fill in over time. It's amazing
how little time it takes a child to learn a new subject, when it's his idea
and he's enthusiastic about it.

That was brought to mind recently, when my 13yo Moose joined a Stock Market
Game team. He did it mostly because a couple of his friends were on the
team and asked; he didn't really have a lot of interest in the stock
market - but whoa! He has taken off with this interest! Now the first
thing he reads after the comics is the business section. He follows "his
stocks" (the ones his team purchased) daily. He talks with his Dad about
investing and what he thinks might be good stocks. He gets on the Internet
and looks up stocks and their performance, hunts down bits of information
about companies he thinks might work in their portfolio, and joins
enthusiastically in their twice-weekly on-line chats about possible new
purchases.

It's unschooling at its finest - and he's learning a lot about economics,
about how world events affect the stock market, about profit-and-loss
statements, different kinds of businesses (corporations, sole
proprietorships, limited partnerships). He's learning about taxes and why
government imposes them and how they are used. Wow. I didn't expect this,
but it's one of the best things he's done, in terms of education for the
real world.

As for Christian Unschooling, let me refer you to Jeanne Musfeldt's page:
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/pointe/2073/

She's one of the finest Christian unschoolers I know, and a great human
being as well.

psam
psamo@...

Motherhood - not just a job, it's an Adventure!

Bonni Sollars

Cathy, I am not an experienced unschooler, but I have been learning a lot
and fast since deciding to become one just this last year. I know you
have a lot of answers to your question about the role of parents in
unschooling already, but I want to answer it in terms of you being a
Christian. The Bible says to share your experiences of witnessing God in
action in your personal life with other people, including your children.
Also, the Bible says to not cause your children to be discouraged. I
think that means we should encourage them instead of focusing on their
mistakes. It also says that God wants the hearts of the parents to be
turned to their children. I think that means to really listen to them
and know them. And when the Bible says to raise up a child in the way he
should go, it means according to his god-given natural bent, which is
what unschooling is all about. Also, though we have authority over our
children, the Biblical purpose for authority is to protect and care for
others. When the Bible talks about a minister managing his family, I
used to think it meant he had to have a firm hand on the kids. But after
praying about this, I realized that a father cannot force his children to
respect him. So now that scripture means to me that he is taking the
time to know his children and to spend time with them, so they respect
him. And it also says to me that God cares so much about the man's
family that it should come first before his public ministry. To me,
Christian unschooling means being real. It is all about being honest
about who I am with my children and allowing them to be honest with me
about who they are, without fear of wrath. I have also been learning a
lot from sources outside the church, which was scary at first because I
was concerned about ungodly counsel. But everything I learned
corresponded with my Bible reading. I found particular help from a book
called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will
Talk. Jesus said that the gentile rulers lord it over them but that we
are God's children and should lead by serving. I was raised by an
abusive mother who exercised her will over mine by controlling force.
Now I am learning about Christlike authority and giving up control and
using respectful techniques to communicate with, not dominate my
children. I am having a wonderful journey. It is hard sometimes to try
new ways, but persevere because it is so worth it!
Bonni in Oregon