Julie Stauffer

<<We use workbooks too only their used to earn money and other rewards>>

Perhaps I misunderstand, but it seems you are saying that you pay your kids
money to do workbooks. That coupled with the information you posted about
unschooling at home while your kids were in ps, leads me to question your
understanding of unschooling.

Unschooling isn't something done part time or occasionally. It is 24/7 of
the child pursuing his own dreams and desires, not completing pages to get
money.

Again, perhaps I misunderstood.

Julie

parrishmlus

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Julie Stauffer" <jnjstau@g...> wrote:
> <<We use workbooks too only their used to earn money and other
rewards>>
>
> Perhaps I misunderstand, but it seems you are saying that you pay
your kids
> money to do workbooks. That coupled with the information you
posted about
> unschooling at home while your kids were in ps, leads me to
question your
> understanding of unschooling.
>

Julie --

Maybe I'm wrong, but Dorinda's message looks like nothing so much as
a big fat worm-on-a-hook to me. Did you take the bait, or am I
totally wrong about this post? Could this possibly be an unschooler,
and not some really creative troll?

Dorinda -- i most heartily apologize if you were not pulling this
list's collective leg (legs?). I mean it -- you had me reading your
post to my daughter -- had my HUSBAND (MR.
Homeschooling/Unschooling/Whatever) exclaiming, "She's an
UNschooler???"

Well, maybe a really creative unschooler with too much time on her
hands.

Delicious post.

Laura

Joseph Fuerst

**When I say I am done talking about him because I think most of you
have heard enough, I'm told that I should explain again.

Bridget**


Well, actually, I never "told you" you *should* do anything. I merely
asked questions about whether or not it may be a good idea if newer list
members are interested. Believe me, I am hesitant to have you try it
again. And your response here reminds me why.
And apparently, you don't want to....I'm certainly willing to take that
at face value.

respectfully,
Susan

Joseph Fuerst

***Is it acceptable to become an adult in our society who just doesn't
> read? Would you want to allow your kid to go out into the world so
> unprepared? Aren't you worried they'll be taken advantage of, or be unable
> to negotiate contracts/instructions/newspapers?

I am definitely not okay w/the idea of my kid not being able to read at
16. I think reading is a basic skill for survival in this society. My kid
is almost six and he is just starting to read. We do phonics stuff and sound
games every day *at his request*. But even if he weren't into it, I'd
start "making him" at a later age. Not at the age he is now, but certainly
by 10 or so. Yup, you betcha I would! It is the one thing I feel strongly
that he has to learn. Years ago, it was illegal for my ancestors to learn
how to read (we are African American) in this country. I feel it would be
a slap in the face for all their struggles for me to neglect this one
aspect of his upbringing.

Best,
Lynn***

Now this is the kind of thinking that just begs for a response along the
lines of unschooling! I'll just ask, Lynn, you're willing to give up
unschooling if your child can't read by age 10? I'm wondering whether you
fully understand it then. And I won't speak for Tia, but she has commented
many times that her experience of intervening with her son seemed to make
things worse in their relationship.

I truly understand your dilemma, for I have experienced what you are simply
talking about as a possible situation. Let me share a bit of my experience.
Since we moved away from the school track for our family (my oldest had
attended kindergarten and two yrs of preschool), I explored aspects of
educating our children at home and found that unschooling resonated as the
most genuine way to allow my children to grow.
When my very intelligent dd wasn't reading by the end of 'first grade',
I worried. She had even forgotten the sight words she had memorized in
kindergarten. All the veteran homeschoolers advised me to take a deep breat
h and be patient. I had to trusyt a bunch of people I'd never met in
person? Well, I did. For several months. And as dd did NOT 'take off' in
her reading, my patience left me. I once again struggled to 'let go. A
discussion came up here ...about whether or not it's ok for a parent to
'just let them grow up illiterate'. But again, the those who had older
children, children who learned to read 'later', others coping with the
same circumstance all recommended being patient. I went up and down this
roller coaster....though the hills and valleys became less and less
pronounced.
Finally, about a year ago, I *truly got it*!!! I had *really* missed
the point of unschooling in regard to reading! All along, I was pushing dd
into word games, shaming her at times (I didn't consciously intend to...I
was ashamed it camed out that way). In my roller coaster ride, I was still
pushing her...only it became more subtle usually. Or I'd think...ok, I've
been patient for 6-7 months, and that hasn't 'worked' (meaning it didn't
get me what *I* wanted - her to read AND enjoy it!)
Intead of allowing her the freedom to learn when, how, as much as SHE
chose, I was trying to get her to meet MY expectations. When she was 8,
dh and I even devised a *plan* to have her tested if she couldn't read by
age 9. Then it was, we'll start a stringent structured program by age 9;
then it was....maybe I'm not handling this right, maybe we should pay a
tutor. Well, all this didn't settle well with me. And whenever it came up,
dd felt like she had disappointed me, like a failure. She was stressed and
tense about reading and 'tried' to do it for me....yet became increasingly
resistant.
When I examined this situation more closely, I realized I had some
major de-schooling to do of my own thinking. I had to examine how
mainstream ideas had infiltrated my thinking about how it's my *job* to make
sure she knows certain things.
And your post almost exactly states my thinking on it.
Maybe you'll not be able to understand unless you go through it. But I was
wrong in my attitude and it only harmed my dd. She was not truly allowed
the freedom she neede in this area (i.e., NOT unschooling) until I had this
breakthrough in my thinking and attitude.
I need to go now......I hope you can look at this with an open mind!
Susan

Lorraine Goods

Hey Susan, thanks for such a thoughtful response and for sharing your
experiences.

>>I need to go now......I hope you can look at this with an open mind!
Susan<<

I'm trying to, believe me. Is your daughter reading now? How old is she?
Does anyone know any unschooled kids who are/were not reading by
adulthood? I'd be interested in hearing those stories.

Best,
Lynn