Joseph Fuerst

Kolleen,.

**When someone who has been unschooling for a long time says 'you're not an
unschooler because you use this or that control', its highly possible
their observation is correct.**

I think you hit the mark here. I realize that when I first decided the
unschooling route is the one for me and my family...because it fits with my
understanding of how people grow and learn....that I wasn't a 'complete'
unschooler' because I needed to grow into it. I needed to de-school myself
from all the mainstream ideas, from all the years of schooling I have, uh,
endured? (LOL), from my wants and agendas for my children. Even after
'getting it' in my brain, and thinking I understood and 'lived
it'....sometimes things didn't work how *I* wanted them to.....at times I
became frustrated. This list became an outlet for some of these
frustrations at times....when I realized getting them out here would enable
me to not subject the youngsters to them.

Last fall....after spending much time examining my own behavior and
interaction with the children, and noticing there resistance times were
times I tried to impose my agenda.....even when I didn't consciously mean
to....well, I was able to make what I felt was a leap into full
unschooling. And from that perspective, began to see problems with the
"boxed" aproach, where parts of life or parts of families are 'boxed' into
a special category and neede to be treated differently. I though that those
people maybe hadn't made a full leap.

guess I don't want to be too presumptuous here....not saying I don't have a
lot to learn, I do {I'm always learning, if you all can live with that
here <sheepish grin> :-) }

**Then, I stop and think about the ones that aren't so lucky. The ones that
don't have internal support, or even have internal 'abuse'. Should they
now not be able to unschool because they can't fit their life into all
the requirements?**

Interesting wording...'requirements' seems like an oxymoron in regard to
unschooling. I suppose attempts to unschool or 'close to unschooling' would
benefit the children more than....either try to unschool or just go use a
curriculum (is that the 'opposite of unschooling even?) I sometimes read
about a continuum from unschooling to 'relaxed approach, to strict
curriculum to....spartan military camp (!)...is it a continuum? I'm not
sure really.



**But what about the ones that made some wrong choices in the past, and now
want to unschool. Shouldn't they be able to come here and say 'I'm
unschooling as most as I can' without being challanged as to there is no
such animal?**

Well, for me, it was unschooling ...even when I had a ways to go to fully
understanding it. When I became aware that what I was sometimes doing was
'not' unschooling, (as in unwittingly trying to impose my agenda), then I
realized hwere my struggles had come from and became a more complete
unschooler.

I suppose I may get into a rut now and again where I lose awareness of how
things are going and unwittingly interfere with unscholing. That's why it
seems to me to be a way of life that's fully integrated into who I am....and
requires of me that I try to remain *aware* and present to whether or not
my ego is getting in the way of someone's growth.

There' a few toughts for ya...
Susan

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