Kolleen

>Bridge wrote:
>Okay, let me ask you a hypothetical:
>If your child chooses to shoot up heroin because he likes it, is it
>his choice and you will allow it?

The scope of a child's world will grow as he grows. Therefore, his
ability to self-impose will take the same steps in relation to his world.

Almost all 5yos will not have access to heroin. So the scope of their
world will be within the realm of TV, chores, eating.

If a kid is allowed to set their own path in steps during their growth,
then they will not be the kind of child that needs heroin to feel
self-worth.

>How about if he expresses a desire
>to be free of the monkey but needs help, will you impose forced rehab
>when he starts to relapse?

If my child is at the point that an addiction is controlling their life,
then I would be the last person that can help them.

If my child has self-worth and confidence, he won't be in that position.
If he doesn't and seeks another way to deal with his pain, then I'm the
one who didn't give him what he needed to begin with.

I would be there to offer myself to the group counselor if that would
help us figure out why he has the pain to begin with.

>I guess my questionis; is there any limit you would feel is okay to
>impose?

We impose health and safety rules only. And those change with age. The
scope of their world widens, and so does the self-responsibility.

The safety issues are exposed to him in steps according to his age. For
example: In the wake of 911, and living in NYC, I didn't feel it was
necessary to tell my son what happened. He's 5 and doesn't need to have
his world shaken up with a rare instance.

He only needs to be aware of the saftey issues that fall within the realm
of his world. Like being aware of not crossing the street alone. Being
aware to stay close to adult when at a store. Being aware that not ALL
strangers are nice. So without getting into too much detail, its
important that he knows that people exist that will take kids from their
parents.

As he grows and will spend more time away from me, this scope will
broaden. But so will his experience in life.

As far as health. There is no negotiation. We live an alternative health
lifestyle and this is the only part of his life that has absolutes. When
he's old enough to take care of himself I trust he will make the best
decision for his health.

regards,
kolleen