Re: Digest Number 214
Tracy Oldfield
The whole thread on late nights and spouses attitudes has definitely rung a
bell here. Part of my problem recently has been that I got depressed
(permanently tired, finding fault) since we moved house. I'm coming out of
it now, although there are other factors... But anyway, to cut a long story
short, I tend to 'hide' when I get that way, and the 'puter's a good way.
Now, I have offered to have the 'puter downstairs so I could
play/work/chat/whatever while dh watches tv, which is his 'thing' but no,
the typing would drive him crackers and it wouldn't look right (the
aesthetics thing's a whole other ball game, I won't go there just now!) But
we figured it out, and he knows that since we co-sleep, I don't get space at
all, so this is my time. If I want to go watch the late-night rerun of Star
Trek with him, I do. If I don't, I don't. We are both late night folks,
him more than me, but he works from home, so that's when he works. I'd get
up earlier for me-time if dd2 didn't wake up too, cos that's not me-time!
Tami, how wierd that he should suddenly change tune like this. Have you
read any of the Faber-Mazlish books? It's fairly basic psychology, but if
it works on kids, it ought to work on anyone, right? Can you find out
what's behind this using those kinds of tools? (particularly instead of
giving an argument, listening and affirming what he's telling you?) After
19 years, you perhaps think you ought to be able to read him like a book,
but we all have some hidden secrets - has something happened to dredge
something up from his own childhood? I don't know what else to say, except
that it does sound awfully like some medical problem, a food allergy
perhaps, I'm trying to steer clear of the obvious and scary brain tumour -
oops, I've gawn and done it now...
Anyhow, I'm not alone, you're not alone, we all seem to have similar
situations and we all solve them in our own ways, and in our own time, if
you'll excuse the pun!
I'm off to watch that Star Trek episode now!!
Tracy
bell here. Part of my problem recently has been that I got depressed
(permanently tired, finding fault) since we moved house. I'm coming out of
it now, although there are other factors... But anyway, to cut a long story
short, I tend to 'hide' when I get that way, and the 'puter's a good way.
Now, I have offered to have the 'puter downstairs so I could
play/work/chat/whatever while dh watches tv, which is his 'thing' but no,
the typing would drive him crackers and it wouldn't look right (the
aesthetics thing's a whole other ball game, I won't go there just now!) But
we figured it out, and he knows that since we co-sleep, I don't get space at
all, so this is my time. If I want to go watch the late-night rerun of Star
Trek with him, I do. If I don't, I don't. We are both late night folks,
him more than me, but he works from home, so that's when he works. I'd get
up earlier for me-time if dd2 didn't wake up too, cos that's not me-time!
Tami, how wierd that he should suddenly change tune like this. Have you
read any of the Faber-Mazlish books? It's fairly basic psychology, but if
it works on kids, it ought to work on anyone, right? Can you find out
what's behind this using those kinds of tools? (particularly instead of
giving an argument, listening and affirming what he's telling you?) After
19 years, you perhaps think you ought to be able to read him like a book,
but we all have some hidden secrets - has something happened to dredge
something up from his own childhood? I don't know what else to say, except
that it does sound awfully like some medical problem, a food allergy
perhaps, I'm trying to steer clear of the obvious and scary brain tumour -
oops, I've gawn and done it now...
Anyhow, I'm not alone, you're not alone, we all seem to have similar
situations and we all solve them in our own ways, and in our own time, if
you'll excuse the pun!
I'm off to watch that Star Trek episode now!!
Tracy
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/21/99 6:24:13 PM Central Daylight Time,
Tracy@...-online.co.uk writes:
<< After
19 years, you perhaps think you ought to be able to read him like a book,
but we all have some hidden secrets - has something happened to dredge
something up from his own childhood? I don't know what else to say, except
that it does sound awfully like some medical problem, a food allergy
perhaps, I'm trying to steer clear of the obvious and scary brain tumour -
oops, I've gawn and done it now... >>
Tracy,
That is a thought. (The food allergy maybe----not the brain tumour, I'm
not ready to go there yet). Anyway, we are talking and checking the whole
thing out, so maybe I will know more soon.
Tami
Tracy@...-online.co.uk writes:
<< After
19 years, you perhaps think you ought to be able to read him like a book,
but we all have some hidden secrets - has something happened to dredge
something up from his own childhood? I don't know what else to say, except
that it does sound awfully like some medical problem, a food allergy
perhaps, I'm trying to steer clear of the obvious and scary brain tumour -
oops, I've gawn and done it now... >>
Tracy,
That is a thought. (The food allergy maybe----not the brain tumour, I'm
not ready to go there yet). Anyway, we are talking and checking the whole
thing out, so maybe I will know more soon.
Tami
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/21/99 9:48:09 PM, FreeSchool@... writes:
<<That is a thought. (The food allergy maybe----not the brain tumour, I'm
not ready to go there yet).>>
The current issue of a woman's magazine (Woman's Day, Family Circle?) ran an
article about medical reasons people might be tired. And, in addition to the
possibilities that are always mentioned (like thyroid), they specifically
mentioned food allergies. So if the problem isn't just not getting enough
sleep, then you might want to grab this article and share it w. your husband.
My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!)
Betsy
<<That is a thought. (The food allergy maybe----not the brain tumour, I'm
not ready to go there yet).>>
The current issue of a woman's magazine (Woman's Day, Family Circle?) ran an
article about medical reasons people might be tired. And, in addition to the
possibilities that are always mentioned (like thyroid), they specifically
mentioned food allergies. So if the problem isn't just not getting enough
sleep, then you might want to grab this article and share it w. your husband.
My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!)
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/22/99 10:01:33 AM Central Daylight Time,
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!) >>
Betsy,
Even if I could prove to my husband that is was dairy causing his
problem, he still wouldn't give it up. The guy loves his milk!
Tami
ECSamHill@... writes:
<< My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!) >>
Betsy,
Even if I could prove to my husband that is was dairy causing his
problem, he still wouldn't give it up. The guy loves his milk!
Tami
tamokey
Kim and others,I really liked what you said, but are there any suggestions to get a tired, very hard working hubby to understand the difference between me making it work for us (me doing what you want because you want me too) and us making it work for us (instead of I go to work statement vs. how can contribute to make it work).
Is this the eternal problem or what?
Tami-
I hope you can find a solution, it sounds pretty stressful!� I know what you mean about differences that seem to grow.� Dh and I just had one of those debates that there are no winners of, I have learned to ignore the differences that didn't seem to be there 15 years ago, but some of them just loom so LARGE at times.� Good luck to you.
Andi
�
�
Is this the eternal problem or what?
Tami-
I hope you can find a solution, it sounds pretty stressful!� I know what you mean about differences that seem to grow.� Dh and I just had one of those debates that there are no winners of, I have learned to ignore the differences that didn't seem to be there 15 years ago, but some of them just loom so LARGE at times.� Good luck to you.
Andi
> Yeah, I would say we as parents, definitely have to take our time to heal��
> ourselves, reflect, look forward, and just be ourselves ... if we can�
> remember who we are.� I am going to set up date night with hubby once a�
> week...that is probably enough for him�.� I do enjoy talking with him and�
> spending time with him.� I am sure we can commit to carving out a notch of�
> time everyday while I am preparing dinner or something like that.� If we are�
> committed to each other, we will make it work.� Not me making it work for�
> him.� Us making it work for each other.
>
�
�
[email protected]
In a message dated 99-09-22 23:43:01 EDT, you write:
<<
<< My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously
considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!) >>
Betsy,
Even if I could prove to my husband that is was dairy causing his
problem, he still wouldn't give it up. The guy loves his milk!
Tami
husband is the same way-- and I have snuck this milk in by putting it in the
regular milk glass bottle and they didnt even notice.
Rachael
<<
<< My husband has been exhausted this month, and we are seriously
considering
giving up dairy products for awhile. (Milk just seems to inspire us to eat
cookies!) >>
Betsy,
Even if I could prove to my husband that is was dairy causing his
problem, he still wouldn't give it up. The guy loves his milk!
Tami
>>maybe its the kind of milk you get. Goats milk tastes (mostly ) the same. my
husband is the same way-- and I have snuck this milk in by putting it in the
regular milk glass bottle and they didnt even notice.
Rachael
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/23/99 3:49:33 PM Central Daylight Time, Roop0625@...
writes:
<< maybe its the kind of milk you get. Goats milk tastes (mostly ) the same.
my
husband is the same way-- and I have snuck this milk in by putting it in the
regular milk glass bottle and they didnt even notice. >>
Rachel,
I haven't tried goats milk. I did buy some rice milk (Rice Dream). It
didn't matter what flavor (regular, chocolate, or vanilla) my family hated
it. Now I just buy it for me, and I let them go back to drinking their milk
<grrrrr>. Maybe if I tried sneaking goats milk into the regular containers
like you suggested, they would actually like it! :) Its worth a try!
Tami
writes:
<< maybe its the kind of milk you get. Goats milk tastes (mostly ) the same.
my
husband is the same way-- and I have snuck this milk in by putting it in the
regular milk glass bottle and they didnt even notice. >>
Rachel,
I haven't tried goats milk. I did buy some rice milk (Rice Dream). It
didn't matter what flavor (regular, chocolate, or vanilla) my family hated
it. Now I just buy it for me, and I let them go back to drinking their milk
<grrrrr>. Maybe if I tried sneaking goats milk into the regular containers
like you suggested, they would actually like it! :) Its worth a try!
Tami
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/24/1999 3:18:53 AM !!!First Boot!!!, FreeSchool@...
writes:
<< I haven't tried goats milk. I did buy some rice milk (Rice Dream). It
didn't matter what flavor (regular, chocolate, or vanilla) my family hated
it. Now I just buy it for me, and I let them go back to drinking their milk
<grrrrr>. Maybe if I tried sneaking goats milk into the regular containers
like you suggested, they would actually like it! :) Its worth a try!
Tami
small amounts at first, and gradually got bigger, until the gallon was all
powder. The kids never knew.
Stephanie
writes:
<< I haven't tried goats milk. I did buy some rice milk (Rice Dream). It
didn't matter what flavor (regular, chocolate, or vanilla) my family hated
it. Now I just buy it for me, and I let them go back to drinking their milk
<grrrrr>. Maybe if I tried sneaking goats milk into the regular containers
like you suggested, they would actually like it! :) Its worth a try!
Tami
>>Do it in small amounts at first. When our family went to powder, we mixed
small amounts at first, and gradually got bigger, until the gallon was all
powder. The kids never knew.
Stephanie