Ex-Husbands Who Used to Support Homeschooling
Tia Leschke
A friend whose husband left her recently phoned me asking for help
continuing to homeschool her sons. Her husband had always supported
homeschooling until she walked into mediation recently, when he
shocked her by saying he wants joint custody and by the way, "Isn't it
time the boys were in school?" She was asking me for some short, like one
or two sentences or so, arguments in favour of homeschooling that might
sway an ex-husband. I thought since I've heard of a number of cases like
this in the last year or so, that maybe we could generate a list of "pithy
sayings" about homeschooling that might help these mothers. Maybe we could
put them up on a web page for others to use.
I have to say that these guys *really* rot my socks. It's one thing if the
husband had been even slightly negative about homeschooling before the
breakup, but in all the cases I've heard about, they've been totally
supportive until they left and realized that they could pay less support if
the wife went back to work, which wouldn't be possible if she continued to
homeschool.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
continuing to homeschool her sons. Her husband had always supported
homeschooling until she walked into mediation recently, when he
shocked her by saying he wants joint custody and by the way, "Isn't it
time the boys were in school?" She was asking me for some short, like one
or two sentences or so, arguments in favour of homeschooling that might
sway an ex-husband. I thought since I've heard of a number of cases like
this in the last year or so, that maybe we could generate a list of "pithy
sayings" about homeschooling that might help these mothers. Maybe we could
put them up on a web page for others to use.
I have to say that these guys *really* rot my socks. It's one thing if the
husband had been even slightly negative about homeschooling before the
breakup, but in all the cases I've heard about, they've been totally
supportive until they left and realized that they could pay less support if
the wife went back to work, which wouldn't be possible if she continued to
homeschool.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
Candy
This is my short sweet answer to people when they start questioning why I choose to home school. Of course there are many more reasons than just this one, but it is a good start. It can be said either of these ways.
-When in your adult life do you interact and function with people ONLY your age?
or for adults that went through public school themselves ~
-When in your life (aside from public school) were you divided into, and interacted with people ONLY your age?
It usually at least gets them thinking in the right direction.
-When in your adult life do you interact and function with people ONLY your age?
or for adults that went through public school themselves ~
-When in your life (aside from public school) were you divided into, and interacted with people ONLY your age?
It usually at least gets them thinking in the right direction.
----- Original Message -----
From: Tia Leschke
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 8:38 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Ex-Husbands Who Used to Support Homeschooling
A friend whose husband left her recently phoned me asking for help
continuing to homeschool her sons. Her husband had always supported
homeschooling until she walked into mediation recently, when he
shocked her by saying he wants joint custody and by the way, "Isn't it
time the boys were in school?" She was asking me for some short, like one
or two sentences or so, arguments in favour of homeschooling that might
sway an ex-husband. I thought since I've heard of a number of cases like
this in the last year or so, that maybe we could generate a list of "pithy
sayings" about homeschooling that might help these mothers. Maybe we could
put them up on a web page for others to use.
I have to say that these guys *really* rot my socks. It's one thing if the
husband had been even slightly negative about homeschooling before the
breakup, but in all the cases I've heard about, they've been totally
supportive until they left and realized that they could pay less support if
the wife went back to work, which wouldn't be possible if she continued to
homeschool.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
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[email protected]
Grrrr...... I truely believe you are right when you talk about husbands being
totally supportive re: homeschooling until its divorce time.
My answer to this is probably to say "Of Course, they weren't the ones doing
it!"
I think its a big joke to me that some hs moms make their husband the
principal, superintendent, master of all, when they haven't anything to do
with the teaching
process, now mind you there are some fathers that are right in their doing
their
part, and there are some fathers that have their noses stuck so high that
they
are in charge of everything. They dictate what goes and doesn't go. This type
doesn't appeal to me, as I would never give that much control away to anyone.
For instance, my hair, make-up clothes, etc. ... Are MY business. If I choose
to pile it on is my choice. l
Divorce changes things.
totally supportive re: homeschooling until its divorce time.
My answer to this is probably to say "Of Course, they weren't the ones doing
it!"
I think its a big joke to me that some hs moms make their husband the
principal, superintendent, master of all, when they haven't anything to do
with the teaching
process, now mind you there are some fathers that are right in their doing
their
part, and there are some fathers that have their noses stuck so high that
they
are in charge of everything. They dictate what goes and doesn't go. This type
doesn't appeal to me, as I would never give that much control away to anyone.
For instance, my hair, make-up clothes, etc. ... Are MY business. If I choose
to pile it on is my choice. l
Divorce changes things.
Trish
>>The judge granted him full custody because the EX used the homeschoolinghook to an old judge who sided with him.<<
I guess I am naive but I wonder why homeschooling alone would cause a person
to lose custody of their children? is h/s against the law where she lives?
Did they test the children and find that they were far behind the levels
they would supposedly be at in ps? And how is it that the judge would not
look at the situation and say that the husband was obviously in support of
h/s until the separation...when I hear of cases like this I think there must
be more reasons why the judge would find in favour of the father - h/s seems
like a fairly lame reason to take someone's children away. But that is just
my interpretation...I would never worry about losing my children over h/s as
both my ex and my dh agree that it is best for our children - but I suppose
you just never know how people will be.
Trish
Kolleen
>I have to say that these guys *really* rot my socks. It's one thing if theTia,
>husband had been even slightly negative about homeschooling before the
>breakup, but in all the cases I've heard about, they've been totally
>supportive until they left and realized that they could pay less support if
>the wife went back to work, which wouldn't be possible if she continued to
>homeschool.
>Tia
I don't know if they are already divorced, or in a divorce or if custody
was already established BUT I'd like to point out a case here recently.
The mom was homeschooling her children. A divorce happened (he left her
for a woman he met on the internet) and later on he sued for custody.
The judge granted him full custody because the EX used the homeschooling
hook to an old judge who sided with him.
She was invovled in a school we are building, so I know her besides just
the news stories.
Her answer on a NY homeschool list was 'In retrospect, I would of put my
kids in ps for the year until the custody battle was over.'
Please keep this story in mind before trying to use comebacks.
let us know how it goes.
kolleen
Kolleen
>Trish wrote:Yes, I thought there was something else to the story.. but when I had a
>I guess I am naive but I wonder why homeschooling alone would cause a person
>to lose custody of their children?
conversation with the couple that paid for this woman's legal fees, I
found out it was just the 'good ole' boys' club doing their duty again.
He was extremely wealthy and had a lawyer that was 'old' friends with the
judge. The kids tested above grade average BUT the judge felt they
*should* be in ps where they can be around other kids.
It was a very sad and scary story.
But if you ever had any dealing with NY courts, you'll see how the good
ole boys club runs rampart through the courts.
regards,
kolleen
Sarah Carothers
<But if you ever had any dealing with NY courts, you'll see how the good
ole boys club runs rampart through the courts.
regards,
kolleen
exceptions, of course, but basically these judges side with their buds they
see on the golf courses each Wednesday afternoon.
IMO the mom would need to have a very savvy lawyer willing to learn and
understand the unschoolers' perspective in order to properly defend it. Most
lawyers aren't willing to go that far; they are used to pretty cut and dried
routines in divorce cases.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ole boys club runs rampart through the courts.
regards,
kolleen
>>>>>>>>That would also describe lots of courts in the South, too. There are always
exceptions, of course, but basically these judges side with their buds they
see on the golf courses each Wednesday afternoon.
IMO the mom would need to have a very savvy lawyer willing to learn and
understand the unschoolers' perspective in order to properly defend it. Most
lawyers aren't willing to go that far; they are used to pretty cut and dried
routines in divorce cases.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
That applies to all states. There is a whole myth/stigma around
homeschooling that folks like H$LDA help to foster. Courts think that the
"socialization" issue is real and that all folks that homeschool are second
cousins to cults. Generally speaking judges are by far some of the worst of
the worst when it comes to being first appearances count judgemental. And
that doesn't necessarily apply to the person they see in front of them. If
they have ever seen an old commune living hippy that homeschooled, then all
homeschoolers are the same. If they saw the folks at Waco or Jonestown,
then all homeschoolers are the same.
This case is not unusual, unfortunately. It happens continually! The whole
custody issue has nothing to do with homeschooling, that is a weapon of
choice. It has nothing to do with the welfare of the kids, that part is all
about revenge and power!
Lynda
homeschooling that folks like H$LDA help to foster. Courts think that the
"socialization" issue is real and that all folks that homeschool are second
cousins to cults. Generally speaking judges are by far some of the worst of
the worst when it comes to being first appearances count judgemental. And
that doesn't necessarily apply to the person they see in front of them. If
they have ever seen an old commune living hippy that homeschooled, then all
homeschoolers are the same. If they saw the folks at Waco or Jonestown,
then all homeschoolers are the same.
This case is not unusual, unfortunately. It happens continually! The whole
custody issue has nothing to do with homeschooling, that is a weapon of
choice. It has nothing to do with the welfare of the kids, that part is all
about revenge and power!
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kolleen" <Kolleen@...>
To: "Unschooling.com" <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 8:33 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Ex-Husbands Who Used to Support
Homeschooling
> >Trish wrote:
> >I guess I am naive but I wonder why homeschooling alone would cause a
person
> >to lose custody of their children?
>
>
> Yes, I thought there was something else to the story.. but when I had a
> conversation with the couple that paid for this woman's legal fees, I
> found out it was just the 'good ole' boys' club doing their duty again.
>
> He was extremely wealthy and had a lawyer that was 'old' friends with the
> judge. The kids tested above grade average BUT the judge felt they
> *should* be in ps where they can be around other kids.
>
> It was a very sad and scary story.
>
> But if you ever had any dealing with NY courts, you'll see how the good
> ole boys club runs rampart through the courts.
>
> regards,
> kolleen
>
>
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rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
issue back on itself. Our children get BETTER socialization than
those in ps. We need to start publicizing that fact more clearly and
specifically IMHO. First, we need to put the bug in their ears about
age segregation and reality. Then we need to make sure we contrast
our children's behavior with the average ps childs in a positive
light. For example, when TIME did it's cover story, the reporter
talked about a study that showed that our kids interacted more
maturely with others than did the ps kids. The reporter turned that
around to say that our kids don't get to be kids. I wrote a letter
explaining that the fact that my kids know how to interact with
others does npot mean they are not allowed to be kids, it just means
they know how to make friends. (It wasn't published.)
Anyway, I think we need to start a concerted letter writing campaign
to correct our image. Sure, there are still some fundamentalist
Christian homeschoolers who do the school at home thing and keep
their kids away from the vast 'unwashed' society, but they are no
longer the majority (if they ever were). Today's homeschooler's are
so varied that they defy description but what can be said almost
uniformly is that they are happier and better adjusted than their ps
counterparts. We need to start painting that picture graphically in
the press.
Bridget
> That applies to all states. There is a whole myth/stigma aroundthat the
> homeschooling that folks like H$LDA help to foster. Courts think
> "socialization" issue is real and that all folks that homeschoolare second
> cousins to cults.You know, we as a community need to start turning the socialization
issue back on itself. Our children get BETTER socialization than
those in ps. We need to start publicizing that fact more clearly and
specifically IMHO. First, we need to put the bug in their ears about
age segregation and reality. Then we need to make sure we contrast
our children's behavior with the average ps childs in a positive
light. For example, when TIME did it's cover story, the reporter
talked about a study that showed that our kids interacted more
maturely with others than did the ps kids. The reporter turned that
around to say that our kids don't get to be kids. I wrote a letter
explaining that the fact that my kids know how to interact with
others does npot mean they are not allowed to be kids, it just means
they know how to make friends. (It wasn't published.)
Anyway, I think we need to start a concerted letter writing campaign
to correct our image. Sure, there are still some fundamentalist
Christian homeschoolers who do the school at home thing and keep
their kids away from the vast 'unwashed' society, but they are no
longer the majority (if they ever were). Today's homeschooler's are
so varied that they defy description but what can be said almost
uniformly is that they are happier and better adjusted than their ps
counterparts. We need to start painting that picture graphically in
the press.
Bridget
Lynda
I agree. There was a really negative article in a magazine for teachers
(written by a college prez) and I zapped a letter off, sure as can be that
it would never get published and asking myself why I wasted my time and
wonder of wonders, they did publish it!
So, keep those letters going because if we change only one mind at a time,
that is one less that has this whole weird misconception about un/hsing
kids!
Lynda
(written by a college prez) and I zapped a letter off, sure as can be that
it would never get published and asking myself why I wasted my time and
wonder of wonders, they did publish it!
So, keep those letters going because if we change only one mind at a time,
that is one less that has this whole weird misconception about un/hsing
kids!
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "rumpleteasermom" <rumpleteasermom@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2002 6:38 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Ex-Husbands Who Used to Support
Homeschooling
> --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
> > That applies to all states. There is a whole myth/stigma around
> > homeschooling that folks like H$LDA help to foster. Courts think
> that the
> > "socialization" issue is real and that all folks that homeschool
> are second
> > cousins to cults.
>
> You know, we as a community need to start turning the socialization
> issue back on itself. Our children get BETTER socialization than
> those in ps. We need to start publicizing that fact more clearly and
> specifically IMHO. First, we need to put the bug in their ears about
> age segregation and reality. Then we need to make sure we contrast
> our children's behavior with the average ps childs in a positive
> light. For example, when TIME did it's cover story, the reporter
> talked about a study that showed that our kids interacted more
> maturely with others than did the ps kids. The reporter turned that
> around to say that our kids don't get to be kids. I wrote a letter
> explaining that the fact that my kids know how to interact with
> others does npot mean they are not allowed to be kids, it just means
> they know how to make friends. (It wasn't published.)
> Anyway, I think we need to start a concerted letter writing campaign
> to correct our image. Sure, there are still some fundamentalist
> Christian homeschoolers who do the school at home thing and keep
> their kids away from the vast 'unwashed' society, but they are no
> longer the majority (if they ever were). Today's homeschooler's are
> so varied that they defy description but what can be said almost
> uniformly is that they are happier and better adjusted than their ps
> counterparts. We need to start painting that picture graphically in
> the press.
>
> Bridget
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Cheryl Flohe
There is a good chance that I will be divorcing too
and I'm wondering if there are lists of lawyers who do
support homeschooling in a divorce situation. I live
in Washington state. My parents, aware of the bad
situation in my home, live on the Olympic Peninsula
and they have told me that they will buy a house over
there as a rental and rent it to me for expenses only,
once I file for divorce, so I do know where I'll be
going and feel that my children will thrive over there
(we live in Seattle). The kids are 12 and 8 and we've
been unschooling for over a year but to anyone who
asks I tell them we're homeschooling since I'm aware
of the opinions of people on the issue of unschooling.
My husband went with me to the 2 day class last
spring to become certified to comply with the state
and he went willing and enjoyed the class. He also
says to everyone how the kids have thrived with
homeschooling but he is the type to make me put them
in school in a heartbeat if it will help him pay less
support. I've told him that I would only have him pay
what he would if they were in school but he doesn't
feel that the courts would give him that choice. I
absolutely do not want to put them in school until the
divorce is final. This whole issue just scares me to
death. The alternative is to stay in a very bad
marriage so that I can homeschool them???? Any suggestions?
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and I'm wondering if there are lists of lawyers who do
support homeschooling in a divorce situation. I live
in Washington state. My parents, aware of the bad
situation in my home, live on the Olympic Peninsula
and they have told me that they will buy a house over
there as a rental and rent it to me for expenses only,
once I file for divorce, so I do know where I'll be
going and feel that my children will thrive over there
(we live in Seattle). The kids are 12 and 8 and we've
been unschooling for over a year but to anyone who
asks I tell them we're homeschooling since I'm aware
of the opinions of people on the issue of unschooling.
My husband went with me to the 2 day class last
spring to become certified to comply with the state
and he went willing and enjoyed the class. He also
says to everyone how the kids have thrived with
homeschooling but he is the type to make me put them
in school in a heartbeat if it will help him pay less
support. I've told him that I would only have him pay
what he would if they were in school but he doesn't
feel that the courts would give him that choice. I
absolutely do not want to put them in school until the
divorce is final. This whole issue just scares me to
death. The alternative is to stay in a very bad
marriage so that I can homeschool them???? Any suggestions?
__________________________________________________
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Kolleen
>Cheryl wrote:Hi Cheryl,
>There is a good chance that I will be divorcing too
>and I'm wondering if there are lists of lawyers who do
>support homeschooling in a divorce situation. I live
>in Washington state.
I'm sorry to hear about the issues you face now. I don't have much in
the way of lawyers. I only have advice based on what I've seen so far in
courts regarding this.
And I will stand on the only advice that I am aligned with. Take with it
what you want or leave it all. Someone else here will come up with their
opinion and you can hear them all out.
It is in MY experience when dealing with legal issues, that you don't
'rock the boat' if your children are involved.
Sure, sure, sure I've been flamed before for not being more altruistic
and hopefull in going up against an unfair mindset... I don't adhere to
that train of thought.
So, IF one were to think this sound advice, lets eplore the options.
You can send them to ps, get paid less for the effort OR you can choose
private school. 6 months to a year of Waldorf or Sudbury isn't going to
hurt your child.
If it comes down to a school that has a cirriculum, then just make sure
your kids know that their grades don't impress or unimpress you. So they
don't feel pressure to perform. Defend them and their position to all
their teachers and let them do what they want at home.
Somehow, an Ex _might_ choose homeschooling over the prices of Waldorf
*smirk*
regards,
kolleen
My parents, aware of the bad
>situation in my home, live on the Olympic Peninsula
>and they have told me that they will buy a house over
>there as a rental and rent it to me for expenses only,
>once I file for divorce, so I do know where I'll be
>going and feel that my children will thrive over there
>(we live in Seattle). The kids are 12 and 8 and we've
>been unschooling for over a year but to anyone who
>asks I tell them we're homeschooling since I'm aware
>of the opinions of people on the issue of unschooling.
> My husband went with me to the 2 day class last
>spring to become certified to comply with the state
>and he went willing and enjoyed the class. He also
>says to everyone how the kids have thrived with
>homeschooling but he is the type to make me put them
>in school in a heartbeat if it will help him pay less
>support. I've told him that I would only have him pay
>what he would if they were in school but he doesn't
>feel that the courts would give him that choice. I
>absolutely do not want to put them in school until the
>divorce is final. This whole issue just scares me to
>death. The alternative is to stay in a very bad
>marriage so that I can homeschool them???? Any suggestions?
Lorraine Goods
>>The alternative is to stay in a very badmarriage so that I can homeschool them???? Any suggestions?<<
Sorry to hear about your marriage situation. It sounds really rough. The
only advice I an offer is regarding your living situation should you and
your husband split. A single mom I know homeschools her two kids and lives
w/another single homeschooling mom w/one kid. They share childcare,
expenses and they've structured their schedules so that one of them is
always w/the kids while the other is working. It seems to work for
them.
Best of luck to you.
Regards,
Lynn
***********************
I threw my cup away
when I saw a child
drinking from his
hands at the trough
-- Diogenes
***********************
Cheryl Flohe
--- Kolleen <Kolleen@...> wrote:
I like your thinking and appreciate the advice. I
will definitely tuck the idea of giving him the option
of paying for private school or letting me homeschool
away for future reference. Great idea! He makes big
money working for Boeing but he is one of those people
who does not believe in paying child support. He told
me 2 years ago that he wanted a divorce, he wanted me
to move out because he felt that I couldn't handle
taking care of the house (this from a guy that does
zilch around the house) and he wanted joint custody,
figuring that then he wouldn't have to pay at all. I
almost laughed at him if it hadn't ticked me off so
much. I told him something to the effect of "over my
dead and cold body". I tried for the last 2 years
though to work things out with everyone telling me
that one person cannot fix their marriage.....guess
they were right. I see my kids growing up and it's
when I think about the memories they'll have of their
all-too-short childhood that I know I have to get them
out of here.
Anyway, enough ramblings for one night. Time to get
some dinner going for the boys.
Cheryl
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>>Somehow, an Ex _might_ choose homeschooling over theprices of Waldorf<<
I like your thinking and appreciate the advice. I
will definitely tuck the idea of giving him the option
of paying for private school or letting me homeschool
away for future reference. Great idea! He makes big
money working for Boeing but he is one of those people
who does not believe in paying child support. He told
me 2 years ago that he wanted a divorce, he wanted me
to move out because he felt that I couldn't handle
taking care of the house (this from a guy that does
zilch around the house) and he wanted joint custody,
figuring that then he wouldn't have to pay at all. I
almost laughed at him if it hadn't ticked me off so
much. I told him something to the effect of "over my
dead and cold body". I tried for the last 2 years
though to work things out with everyone telling me
that one person cannot fix their marriage.....guess
they were right. I see my kids growing up and it's
when I think about the memories they'll have of their
all-too-short childhood that I know I have to get them
out of here.
Anyway, enough ramblings for one night. Time to get
some dinner going for the boys.
Cheryl
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Tia Leschke
> My parents, aware of the badHey, you'll be right across the pond from me. <g> I'm in Sooke, near
>situation in my home, live on the Olympic Peninsula
>and they have told me that they will buy a house over
>there as a rental and rent it to me for expenses only,
>once I file for divorce, so I do know where I'll be
>going and feel that my children will thrive over there
>(we live in Seattle).
Victoria.
>The kids are 12 and 8 and we'veI would start now documenting these kinds of things. I think an
>been unschooling for over a year but to anyone who
>asks I tell them we're homeschooling since I'm aware
>of the opinions of people on the issue of unschooling.
> My husband went with me to the 2 day class last
>spring to become certified to comply with the state
>and he went willing and enjoyed the class. He also
>says to everyone how the kids have thrived with
>homeschooling but he is the type to make me put them
>in school in a heartbeat if it will help him pay less
>support.
intelligent judge (hope that's not an oxymoron) would be able to see that
the attitude change was *because* of the divorce rather than concern for
the kids.
>I've told him that I would only have him payA divorce doesn't need to go to a court battle. If the couple have a
>what he would if they were in school but he doesn't
>feel that the courts would give him that choice.
separation agreement, the judge will rarely interfere with that. So you
really are better off to do some kind of mediation to get it all in order.
>IBecause of my question on the Canadian homeschooling list (hs-ca) a single
>absolutely do not want to put them in school until the
>divorce is final. This whole issue just scares me to
>death. The alternative is to stay in a very bad
>marriage so that I can homeschool them???? Any suggestions?
mother has started a list for single parent homeschoolers. Some will have
already been hs before the divorce like you, and some will already be
single parents wanting to hs. It's just started, so there may not be very
many members yet, but you'll get the kind of support that us married types
can't really give you.
Tia
Single Parent's Home Education Support
This is a safe place to discuss issues about custody, visitation and
maintaining educational continuity for your home educated child during
separation and divorce. It is also a place for parents who are overwhelmed
with being the only caregiver for their child (whether the other parent has
ever been involved or not) and how to deal with the stresses and share the
joys of doing so.
To subscribe send email to:
[email protected]
You will receive a welcome message and confirmation that you are added. You
may be requested to join Yahoo. Do so an then you can post a message to
introduce yourself and your situation at [email protected]
The list owner is me, Theresa RolletMcWilliams. I live in Nova Scotia and am
in the unique postion to be "half schooling" my three previously
homeschooled children. If you have any questions you can email me at
theresa000@....
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
Tia Leschke
>Those kinds of schools aren't always available anywhere nearby. There's a
>You can send them to ps, get paid less for the effort OR you can choose
>private school. 6 months to a year of Waldorf or Sudbury isn't going to
>hurt your child.
Waldorf school over an hour from here, nowhere near public transit. That's
about it for the whole Victoria area. I'm guessing it won't be any better
on the Olympic Peninsula.
I also have the experience of starting to homeschool after a divorce. I
tried to talk with my ex about taking my older boy out. He didn't even
want to discuss it. I finally decided that Noah's sanity was the most
important thing and took him out. The ex put up with it for a year and a
half and then announced that we were going to court if I didn't put him
back in school. Being 8 months pregnant at the time, I didn't want a court
fight. Neither did Noah, so he went to school. Worst thing that ever
happened to him, and his father even agrees......now. What I'm trying to
say is that waiting until the divorce is final does not guarantee that he
won't fight homeschooling. I'm inclined to say that stability for the
children would be the thing to argue for. They're going to be going
through a lot of changes because of the divorce. Their education should
stay the same, at least for a year or two after.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
donabak
I appreciated your comments on socialization, Bridget. Something that
I have been doing since starting with unschooling in November is to
log the number of hours that my kids socialize. Amazingly, I see the
time going up, compared to when they were in school.
A parent of a ps student told me flat out that I was exaggerating
because "all the time in school the kids are socializing" I wonder if
this parent spends much time in the classroom and sees what happens
when children try to socialize in class ... they get ridiculed or
worse, put in the hallway. I will grant that they do get to freely
socialize on the playground for about 1 1/2 hour during the day.
Because I feel less stressed with the kids being at home and because
they don't have homework at night, I allow their friends to come over
almost every night. They socialize between 3 and 5 hours a day during
the week and as many as 12 hours per day on the weekends, not
including the nights they have sleepovers. How much more social do
they need to be???
I have also been fed the argument that my kids won't be able to
identify with their ps buddies as they won't have the same
experiences and won't have any reason to maintain their relationships
(eg. school dances, field trips etc.) To this I respond, that I have
kept in contact with a grand total of 1 (one) friend from my
junior/senior high school years out of the 600 people I graduated
with. The school environment did not help me foster life-long
friendships.
My kids didn't play with kids from their ps school anyway. I sent
them to a school outside of our designated district, so for the most
part, their friends are our neighbours, not their classmates.
Comments?
Dona
I have been doing since starting with unschooling in November is to
log the number of hours that my kids socialize. Amazingly, I see the
time going up, compared to when they were in school.
A parent of a ps student told me flat out that I was exaggerating
because "all the time in school the kids are socializing" I wonder if
this parent spends much time in the classroom and sees what happens
when children try to socialize in class ... they get ridiculed or
worse, put in the hallway. I will grant that they do get to freely
socialize on the playground for about 1 1/2 hour during the day.
Because I feel less stressed with the kids being at home and because
they don't have homework at night, I allow their friends to come over
almost every night. They socialize between 3 and 5 hours a day during
the week and as many as 12 hours per day on the weekends, not
including the nights they have sleepovers. How much more social do
they need to be???
I have also been fed the argument that my kids won't be able to
identify with their ps buddies as they won't have the same
experiences and won't have any reason to maintain their relationships
(eg. school dances, field trips etc.) To this I respond, that I have
kept in contact with a grand total of 1 (one) friend from my
junior/senior high school years out of the 600 people I graduated
with. The school environment did not help me foster life-long
friendships.
My kids didn't play with kids from their ps school anyway. I sent
them to a school outside of our designated district, so for the most
part, their friends are our neighbours, not their classmates.
Comments?
Dona