Socialization
Kim
Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
Kim from Pa
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
Kim from Pa
[email protected]
I think the social schedule depends on the child. It doesn't matter if
they're in school or not. I think the child should really love and want
to do what they are doing. I've seen my own SIL who has kids in school
make them take a sport or music lesson because she feels like they
should have something to do. I've seen many parents do this to their
children and yes some of them are homeschoolers. Maybe they are trying
to "make up" for something they feel is missing. I have also seen kids
that really want to do a lot and they have something going on every
night of the week. IMO, that's too much, even though they enjoy it. I
think following the child is the key and then moderation.
Mary in FL
they're in school or not. I think the child should really love and want
to do what they are doing. I've seen my own SIL who has kids in school
make them take a sport or music lesson because she feels like they
should have something to do. I've seen many parents do this to their
children and yes some of them are homeschoolers. Maybe they are trying
to "make up" for something they feel is missing. I have also seen kids
that really want to do a lot and they have something going on every
night of the week. IMO, that's too much, even though they enjoy it. I
think following the child is the key and then moderation.
Mary in FL
::she just is::
Kim said:
Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
Well, I think it sounds great if your child likes it. My unschooler friend
Dawn goes to lots of stuff like dance, 4-H, etc. and loves it. However I
have another friends (homeschooled the veeeeery structured way) who's mother
makes her do all these activities to keep her busy -- that's why I never see
her anymore! :-( Activities are probably a good thing except when the parent
goes in overdrive, trying to make the child/teen do everything :} I'd say to
you not to worry, though. :) ~Eryn
==
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky;
then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of
being a butterfuly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am
a man?" - Chuang Tsu
http://www.camenaworks.com/Eryn/
#24591173 ::she just is::
AIM :: Opal Fayre
Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
Well, I think it sounds great if your child likes it. My unschooler friend
Dawn goes to lots of stuff like dance, 4-H, etc. and loves it. However I
have another friends (homeschooled the veeeeery structured way) who's mother
makes her do all these activities to keep her busy -- that's why I never see
her anymore! :-( Activities are probably a good thing except when the parent
goes in overdrive, trying to make the child/teen do everything :} I'd say to
you not to worry, though. :) ~Eryn
==
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky;
then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of
being a butterfuly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am
a man?" - Chuang Tsu
http://www.camenaworks.com/Eryn/
#24591173 ::she just is::
AIM :: Opal Fayre
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/3/1999 11:14:03 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
mainmom@... writes:
<< I think the social schedule depends on the child. It doesn't matter if
they're in school or not. I think the child should really love and want
to do what they are doing. >>
Definitely! My 8yo is a social butterfly and joins everything she can. She
wakes up in the morning and immediately wants to know what we are doing and
where we are going. My 6yo likes to take dance and swimming lessons, but she
prefers to stay home and hang out (kind of like me).
Marti in Wa
mainmom@... writes:
<< I think the social schedule depends on the child. It doesn't matter if
they're in school or not. I think the child should really love and want
to do what they are doing. >>
Definitely! My 8yo is a social butterfly and joins everything she can. She
wakes up in the morning and immediately wants to know what we are doing and
where we are going. My 6yo likes to take dance and swimming lessons, but she
prefers to stay home and hang out (kind of like me).
Marti in Wa
Christine
> Message: 1Well... Kim... My brother and sister both have their three kids in public
> Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 13:40:01 -0400
> From: "Kim" <cook4you@...>
> Subject: Socialization
>
> Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
> schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
> that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
> three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
> allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
> to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
> another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
>
> Kim from Pa
school.. ages vary from 2nd grad to Senior in high school next year. All of
the kids are in so many extra curricular activities that they are seldom
home, from early morning till later evening, and on the weekends, they are
gone all the time. I don't see how they can get their homework done!! My
brothers kids are all in soccer, several teams each, and some track and
field. My sisters kids are in various sports, clubs, and band. Me I don't
get it. I want my boys to have one or two extra out side classes a year..
but I'm not getting as fanatical about it as my brother and sister. Yikes,
I want a life too! I want my kids to sit down and play a game with me once
in a while! LOL! I think really.. socialization is something that ya just
have to relax about. If they want to be with more kids, they let you
know... if their extra activities are too much for them, they'll let you
know. Just be open to listening to their wants and needs.
Christine
Sunshine Supergirl
Kim wrote:
that I've *always* LEARNED through socialization -- I'm a "talker", I find it
really hard to grasp anything if I can't talk it out with someone, which is
probably why I have a little more trouble with math than other subjects --
it's not as easy to talk about. In any case, my friends and I talk about some
"intellectual" things and that's helpful for obvious reasons, but even other
than that... I don't know how old your daughter is, so it may be kind of a
different issue, but I DO think it's natural for teenagers to be interested in
their friends, almost beyond their interest for anything else -- particuarly
teenage girls. It's important to keep other interests, and it sounds like if
she'd doing cheerleading and softball, those are individual interests as well
as being socialization, and that's a great "compromise" -- I take drama,
classes, and do all kinds of education type things with my friends, so I can
hang out with them and "learn" in a quantifiable way... Although I think I'm
learning w/ my frineds all the time anyway.
--
.summer. ("like the season")
summie@...
http://www.bga.com/~melissab ... for now
AIM: SummieStar
ICQ: 3981586
"In the 7-11 of my soul, you're my red slurpee"
-Ben Lee
> Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-homeThis has been a concern in our family, but my mom and I came to realization
> schoolers perceive as lack of socialization? I remember someone bringing
> that up to me a few weeks ago and my answer was...cheerleading, softball,
> three church groups, sleepovers, etc... and I began to wonder...do I
> allow/encourage all this because I feel guilt or is it natural for a child
> to do so much? It seems that she's only getting up and then she's off to
> another activity. I don't know about all of you but I'm exhausted.
that I've *always* LEARNED through socialization -- I'm a "talker", I find it
really hard to grasp anything if I can't talk it out with someone, which is
probably why I have a little more trouble with math than other subjects --
it's not as easy to talk about. In any case, my friends and I talk about some
"intellectual" things and that's helpful for obvious reasons, but even other
than that... I don't know how old your daughter is, so it may be kind of a
different issue, but I DO think it's natural for teenagers to be interested in
their friends, almost beyond their interest for anything else -- particuarly
teenage girls. It's important to keep other interests, and it sounds like if
she'd doing cheerleading and softball, those are individual interests as well
as being socialization, and that's a great "compromise" -- I take drama,
classes, and do all kinds of education type things with my friends, so I can
hang out with them and "learn" in a quantifiable way... Although I think I'm
learning w/ my frineds all the time anyway.
--
.summer. ("like the season")
summie@...
http://www.bga.com/~melissab ... for now
AIM: SummieStar
ICQ: 3981586
"In the 7-11 of my soul, you're my red slurpee"
-Ben Lee
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/3/99 3:18:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
OmegaMolecule@... writes:
<<
Kim said:
Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization?
for us, my 11yo dd rides horses(and would live in the barn were that an
option!!), and takes fiddle lessons. My 7 1/2 yo dd takes karate twice
weekly. They have 4H.
This summer the 11 yo will do a 6 week twice weekly karate program and the
7 1/2 yo want to go to Cloverbud(4H) camp.
Busy? Yes. But the busy-ness also flows--some times we're doing lots and
other times we're homebodies.
Debra
OmegaMolecule@... writes:
<<
Kim said:
Does anyone think that maybe we are overcompensating for what non-home
schoolers perceive as lack of socialization?
>>i suppose some folks do try to overcompensate--they do that everywhere. As
for us, my 11yo dd rides horses(and would live in the barn were that an
option!!), and takes fiddle lessons. My 7 1/2 yo dd takes karate twice
weekly. They have 4H.
This summer the 11 yo will do a 6 week twice weekly karate program and the
7 1/2 yo want to go to Cloverbud(4H) camp.
Busy? Yes. But the busy-ness also flows--some times we're doing lots and
other times we're homebodies.
Debra
Tea Lover Denise
I think it's ironic how people "outside" of homeschooling worry about
our kids missing the "socialization" that public schooling (apparently)
provides, when the truth of the matter is, kids in public school are
FOREVER being punished precisely BECAUSE of "socialization!"
"Johnny, since you enjoy talking with your neighbor so much, you can
stay after class and clean the chalkboard."
"Susie, my classroom is NOT the place to visit with your friend; that
should take place AFTER school."
"Billy, being tardy for my class because you were visiting with your
friends in the hall will NOT be tolerated."
Go figure.
Denise, a Tea Lover in South Carolina
Stop by for a cup of tea ~ http://www.angelfire.com/sc/tealover
our kids missing the "socialization" that public schooling (apparently)
provides, when the truth of the matter is, kids in public school are
FOREVER being punished precisely BECAUSE of "socialization!"
"Johnny, since you enjoy talking with your neighbor so much, you can
stay after class and clean the chalkboard."
"Susie, my classroom is NOT the place to visit with your friend; that
should take place AFTER school."
"Billy, being tardy for my class because you were visiting with your
friends in the hall will NOT be tolerated."
Go figure.
Denise, a Tea Lover in South Carolina
Stop by for a cup of tea ~ http://www.angelfire.com/sc/tealover
[email protected]
Denise wrote:
<<kids in public school are FOREVER being punished precisely BECAUSE of
"socialization!">>
I saw a cute cartoon where a little boy was obviously being reprimanded
outside his classroom by his teacher. He said, "So I was talking. I
can't help it if I'm a people person!"
How many of us could see our children in that situation?!
Mary in FL
<<kids in public school are FOREVER being punished precisely BECAUSE of
"socialization!">>
I saw a cute cartoon where a little boy was obviously being reprimanded
outside his classroom by his teacher. He said, "So I was talking. I
can't help it if I'm a people person!"
How many of us could see our children in that situation?!
Mary in FL
Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall
At 10:33 AM 6/4/99 -0400, you wrote:
experiences together? Like ex-prisoners, hostages, victims of natural
disasters, victims of plane crashes, victims of abuse or, dare I say,
victims of the ps system??
Nanci K. in Idaho
>From: Tea Lover Denise <jalecroy@...>How about the wonderful comraderie of people who have shared traumatic
>when the truth of the matter is, kids in public school are
>FOREVER being punished precisely BECAUSE of "socialization!"
experiences together? Like ex-prisoners, hostages, victims of natural
disasters, victims of plane crashes, victims of abuse or, dare I say,
victims of the ps system??
Nanci K. in Idaho
Winifred Haun + Dancers
Cordelia: As a rebuttal to the socialization question (gently) ask your dh
how many friends he still has from school. My guess is that he is not
still friends with anyone from his school days and that's a strong
indication (to me at least) that the type of socialization one gets from
school is not worth much. School really "pays" no dividends in life long
friends. For me, the people I'm still friends with (or remember) from my
childhood are the friends I made from my dance classes -- I made those
friends outside of school -- and we became friends because of our common
and shared interests. Being inmates together :) is not a good way to
form friendships!
Always, Wini
_____________________________________
WINIFRED HAUN & DANCERS
4225 N. Oakley
Chicago, IL 60618
773-583-2995
http://www.mcs.com/~wini/
______________________________________
how many friends he still has from school. My guess is that he is not
still friends with anyone from his school days and that's a strong
indication (to me at least) that the type of socialization one gets from
school is not worth much. School really "pays" no dividends in life long
friends. For me, the people I'm still friends with (or remember) from my
childhood are the friends I made from my dance classes -- I made those
friends outside of school -- and we became friends because of our common
and shared interests. Being inmates together :) is not a good way to
form friendships!
Always, Wini
_____________________________________
WINIFRED HAUN & DANCERS
4225 N. Oakley
Chicago, IL 60618
773-583-2995
http://www.mcs.com/~wini/
______________________________________
Campbell & Wyman
The thing that I love the most about our girls being 'socialized' at home
is that now (after 6 years of hsing) they have no qualms talking to anyone
of any age; a 'Nana' shopping for groceries, a family visiting the park, a
baby playing in the sand on the beach, all ages and stages. Our girls do
not define their socializing experience to just their own age (and stage)
group. They absolutely love the freedoms that homeschooling have given them
to make friends of all ages. Their 'socialization' has developed in them a
love and respect and empathy for others. In the big picture of
'life'...that is true socialization.
Oxford Dictionary;
sociable..."...inclined to seek and enjoy the company of others; disposed
to be friendly or affable in company; willling to converse in a pleasant
manner..."
Socialize "...to render social"
Social " capable of being associated or united to others..."
And listen to this description in the dictionary for social...I love it!
social "...of plants: growing in a wild state in patches or masses with
other members of the same species, esp. so as to cover a large area"
lovely....
I am thinking that after years of homeschooling that our daughters can now
receive an A+ in socialization. <g>
Carry on...growing in wild and beautiful patches....
Brooke in B.C.
brynlee@...
is that now (after 6 years of hsing) they have no qualms talking to anyone
of any age; a 'Nana' shopping for groceries, a family visiting the park, a
baby playing in the sand on the beach, all ages and stages. Our girls do
not define their socializing experience to just their own age (and stage)
group. They absolutely love the freedoms that homeschooling have given them
to make friends of all ages. Their 'socialization' has developed in them a
love and respect and empathy for others. In the big picture of
'life'...that is true socialization.
Oxford Dictionary;
sociable..."...inclined to seek and enjoy the company of others; disposed
to be friendly or affable in company; willling to converse in a pleasant
manner..."
Socialize "...to render social"
Social " capable of being associated or united to others..."
And listen to this description in the dictionary for social...I love it!
social "...of plants: growing in a wild state in patches or masses with
other members of the same species, esp. so as to cover a large area"
lovely....
I am thinking that after years of homeschooling that our daughters can now
receive an A+ in socialization. <g>
Carry on...growing in wild and beautiful patches....
Brooke in B.C.
brynlee@...
[email protected]
A homeschooling father was being interviewed by the local newspaper
reporter, who asked him all sorts of questions about curriculum,
schedules, athletics, and so forth. But, of course, after all this,
the report had to ask THE question---"What about socialization?"
The father replied, "We make sure he has the EXACTLY the same level of
socialization as he would get if he were in public school."
The reporter asked, "How do you do that?"
The father said, "Once a week, I take him into the bathroom, beat him
up, and steal his lunch!"
Blessings,
Kandy
Work At Home! I Do!
http://teamideals.com/leaders.cgi/tammy
MONTHLY Flat-Rate Long-Distance
http://www.cditelecom.com/261301
reporter, who asked him all sorts of questions about curriculum,
schedules, athletics, and so forth. But, of course, after all this,
the report had to ask THE question---"What about socialization?"
The father replied, "We make sure he has the EXACTLY the same level of
socialization as he would get if he were in public school."
The reporter asked, "How do you do that?"
The father said, "Once a week, I take him into the bathroom, beat him
up, and steal his lunch!"
Blessings,
Kandy
Work At Home! I Do!
http://teamideals.com/leaders.cgi/tammy
MONTHLY Flat-Rate Long-Distance
http://www.cditelecom.com/261301