Djuana M Fish

Dear list,

I've noticed lately that my Husband and oldest daughter (she's 8 years
old) don't seem to understand spoken words well. I mean, I can tell them
a simple thing and they'll get that "deer in headlights" look and say,
"So what are you saying??". They're starting to drive me crazy!! My MIL
is the same way. Also, they generally don't like to admit they don't
understand what someone says to them ( its not just me) and they'll
either ignore it or get angry - I mean raise the blood pressure angry!!
Needless to say, my dh didn't do well in school, since that's the main
way of doing things in instutiionalized places like that, and grew up
thinking he was dumb. Its not the case, just that his mind works
differently than that.

My daughter doesn't read yet, which I'm starting to think is connected
to this. I'm really glad we unschool, 'cause I'm sure she would be
either passed over or labelled and shuffled off into special ed. My DH
and MIL don't read well either. They can actually look right at words
and not even read them!! I love books and reading, so this is a really
strange thing for me!!!

Do any of you know people like this??? I really need to know how to
better communicate with them - fast!! Thanks for your help!! Djuana

rumpleteasermom

Jenni has the problem with auditory skills that you describe.
Patience is the only cure. But she is a voracious reader so the
similarity is not complete.
As for dealing with it, I don't even think about it much anymore. It
had become natural to just watch and repeat to make sure she
understands. And as she grew up, the problem must have subsided
quite a bit because I haven't noticed any problems with her lately.
Thanks for making me think about it!

Bridget

ps - she went to school until 2nd grade. We asked for complete
testing because she was not thriving there. They tested and found
exactly what we expected (an auditory cognizance problem) and said -
well the tests show she has problems understanding oral
communications but we aren't very fond of that test so since she did
well in everything else, we are going to ignore that result.
Needless to say, we started homeschooling shortly after that.

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Djuana M Fish <fishez@j...> wrote:
> Dear list,
>
> I've noticed lately that my Husband and oldest daughter (she's 8
years
> old) don't seem to understand spoken words well. I mean, I can
tell them
> a simple thing and they'll get that "deer in headlights" look and
say,
> "So what are you saying??". They're starting to drive me crazy!!
My MIL
> is the same way. Also, they generally don't like to admit they
don't
> understand what someone says to them ( its not just me) and they'll
> either ignore it or get angry - I mean raise the blood pressure
angry!!
> Needless to say, my dh didn't do well in school, since that's the
main
> way of doing things in instutiionalized places like that, and grew
up
> thinking he was dumb. Its not the case, just that his mind works
> differently than that.
>
> My daughter doesn't read yet, which I'm starting to think is
connected
> to this. I'm really glad we unschool, 'cause I'm sure she would be
> either passed over or labelled and shuffled off into special ed.
My DH
> and MIL don't read well either. They can actually look right at
words
> and not even read them!! I love books and reading, so this is a
really
> strange thing for me!!!
>
> Do any of you know people like this??? I really need to know how
to
> better communicate with them - fast!! Thanks for your help!!
Djuana

Kolleen

>Dear list,
> I've noticed lately that my Husband and oldest daughter (she's 8 years
>old) don't seem to understand spoken words well. I mean, I can tell them
>a simple thing and they'll get that "deer in headlights" look and say,
>"So what are you saying??".
[snip]
> Do any of you know people like this??? I really need to know how to
>better communicate with them - fast!! Thanks for your help!! Djuana

What a great thread if there ever was one! And a very pertinent point to
unschoolers everywhere.

Communication is a valid reason for why a *lot* of children don't fare
well in ps. Since ps is based on one form, and learning has many.

Most of us were taught in a linear way. Most of us dont' learn in linear
thinking form.

Have you tried to use less words and more hand gestures? Almost like your
own variation of signing.

Do you notice how they communicate with eachother (physical playing or
melodic overtures in the conversation).

Its going to take some detective work on your end to find the best form
of communication.

Can you give us an example of what you mean by 'I can tell them a simple
thing'?

regards,
kolleen

djuanafish

Kolleen, you asked:
> Can you give us an example of what you mean by 'I can tell them a
simple
> thing'?


I've been watching for the last couple days and haven't come up
with anything. The one thing that does come to mind is that when I
spell out words for her to write I can only give her one letter at a
time or she can't remember the first one. I would give her 2 or 3
letters of a word and she gets frustrated. Her 6 year old sister
doesn't mind 2 or 3 letters at a time. Different kind of kid, I
guess!

I notice that when I'm relaxed it doesn't bother me as much. So
many times this is the case, not just with this one thing. If I'm
not too stressed, everything is better. Maybe I'm the one who needs
better coping skills!! Djuana

Kolleen

>I notice that when I'm relaxed it doesn't bother me as much. So
>many times this is the case, not just with this one thing. If I'm
>not too stressed, everything is better. Maybe I'm the one who needs
>better coping skills!! Djuana


hahahha... i could definately say the same for myself.. when I'm not
stressed, everything is more than great.. when I'm stressed.. those
insecurities do find their way into every moment!


good luck,
kolleen