Joseph Fuerst

Welcome pat,

there was a discussion several months back about 'control' etc. I
wouldn't necessarily recommend the archives....for that was a time a great
strife on this list, which we are in the process of moving beyond (right,
everyone? :-) )
I remember Tia telling about her mother's analogy (help me out if you
need to Tia)....about how we as parents set fences for our children to keep
them safe. As they mature, the fence gets moved and changed with the
child's needs. So, as unschooling parents, we want to provide them as
much autonomy as possible, within the boundaries they are able to manage.
Sound simple, huh? LOL.....I think it is what unschoolers struggle with
at times. It's easy to know that they are born with bodies that know when
they've had enough to eat and enough rest, though for many parents, even
believing that is difficult. As parents, you decide what many things that
a child has no control over...housing, etc. It doesn't mean handing over
control of the household to your children, but thay can become involved in
many things at an early age. For example, you stock the pantry, prepare
the meals (or go out), but if your child helped with the menu, or wanted
some certain cereal or vegetable, that is respected.
So you decide the fences...and when to move them. I know at least one
person on this list said their family doesn't own a television. We own
two.....kept in common family areas; and we don't choose to subscribe to
cable (though I think some channels and shows would be excellent....we don't
miss it); but if there's something someone wanted to see, we could ask
lots of people to record it for us. And most cable shows my kids have been
interested in eventually end up on video from the library. Make sense?
As to chore and manners...at our house, I don't like to use the word
chores...it conjures up too much of a drudgery image to me! And I believe
in the idea that if I'm the one bothered by it, I'mthe one who needs to
change it. I can sum it all up in three words: example, example, and
example.
Hope you enjoy the list!
Susan

Thanks for your input. I agree with you that there are many good shows on
TV and we are enriched by the History Channel, PBS and other shows like
that. I guess I just haven't reached the point where I can just let go of
all balancing limits in our house. I don't limit altogether, I just limit
for balance. I remember reading in "Hard Times in Paradise" that the boys
didn't always like what they were asked to do. I'm just trying to find a
balance. When it comes to their education, my kids are in charge. When it
comes to matters of health, safety and overall values, I discuss, encourage,
and sometimes impose limits or require a certain level of effort. Maybe
after I have been unschooling for their education a while, I will feel more
confident and let them be totally in charge of every thing with only my
input. I hope so, it would be a lot easier.

How DO unschoolers handle chores, manners, and other things of that nature?

Pat