Joseph Fuerst

If you don't watch out, you may knock me right out of my denial of having
grown up downwind and down water from the Fernald Uranium Processing plant.
I was never able to take advantage of the Medical monitoring due to
pregnancy, nursing.

Wonder if I can cleanse my self of the toxins before any cancer would begin
to take hold.
Susan

n Fri, 28 Dec 01 11:14:16 -0500 Kolleen <Kolleen@...> writes:
> I'm SURE that has a lot to do with it. when one's body gets to a
certain
> toxic level, any predisposition to disease is going to happen and
> happen fast.

It's possible that my mom's very rare thyroid cancer was related to her
being irradiated when she was a child, back in the forties. I can't
remember the exact gland, maybe adrenal? a gland that's often much bigger
in children than adults, but doctors during that time period thought that
was a problem and gave kids large doses of radiation to shrink it...
which worked, except that the gland was supposed to be the size it
was....

Anyway, exposure to radiation is the only known factor that will increase
your chances of developing anaplastic thyroid cancer - and often there
are 20 or more years between exposure and the cancer developing, in my
mom's case it was more like 50 years - but I imagine there are a lot of
other toxic events that happen to people over their lives, and we just
don't know what effect they're having.

One in every three people will eventually develop some kind of cancer...

Dar
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Message: 9
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 11:42:03 -0500
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
Subject: Re: I have picked up the book I never got a chance to really read
Quit School and

I'm going to chop up the posts, too, to respond.


>
>On Thursday, December 27, 2001, at 06:53 PM, dljones0 wrote:
>
>> Get a Life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
When I first read this, I missed reading the subject line and
wondered if somebody had made you mad! (did anybody else miss the
subject line that led into this sentence?<G>)
>
Mimi wrote:
I consider unschooling to be more of a
>style
>of parenting (or lifestyle) than purely a method of educating my
>children. Unschooling encourages a child to grow up to be a
>happy,
>self-confident, auto-didactic, self-regulating,
>self-entertaining,
>curious and a self-assured person. If a person is lucky enough
>to have
>some or all of those traits then that person's education will be
>a
>natural and painless part of his/her life and s/he will be
>learning all
>the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So true. When we go with the natural talents a child has, it *is* a
painless procedure. But to get there, we have to release our past
upbringing of "this is how it's done" and "this is what you need to
know" stuff. Hard to do but well worth it in the end.

Debbie wrote:
Since quitting school in April, I am wondering if he
>needs
>> more time to deschool because academics is just not setting
>well with
>> him at all.
>+++++++++++++++++++++++
Mimi responded:
>That's not even nine months. I would probably wait at least
>another
>year before I would even think about introducing academics to him
>again,
>if ever. Deschooling can take a long time and requires a lot of
>patience on your part. You have to totally change your ideas of
>what
>learning really is and how it happens.
>++++++++++++++++++++++++
my response: I've head for every year of school, deschooling takes a
month so in your case, a minimum of 10 months of doing *NOTHING*
schoolish (on your part anyway) would be needed. When we went
through the de-schooling process, dd had only been in Kindergarten
for about 3 months and we 'deschooled' for 6 months before she came
to me wanting to do something other than watch tv and play games. It
was well worth the wait!!!!!

Debbie wrote:
>> He has just been diagnosed with ADD-inattentive type, so
>> I know that hasn't helped his self-esteem, and he says he can't
>pick
>> up a book because he can't retain anything he reads. That is so
>> different for him, because he always used to love reading.
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have that problem as well. Try the following to see if any of it
helps:
1. no florescent lighting (it can drive me crazy)
2. try tinted overlays on the page (or tinted glasses... soft pink
seems to work in our family)
3. Make sure he's reading something he's *really* interested in.
What happens in my case is while I'm reading, I'm thinking of a
thousand other things I need to do. Have him keep a notepad beside
him and when he finds he's thinking about something else, jot it down
so he won't forget about it but it will give him the sense that he's
released from trying to remember whatever 'it' is.

Debbie wrote:
>>
>> What I would love is encouragement, advice on unschooling, and
>please
>> no ridiculing because it's not as easy for me to just jump in
>like
>> some of the rest of you who have done it for so long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my response: I hope I don't sound like I'm ridiculing anyone; I'm
sincere and if there's ever any doubt, please ask me what I meant.
People get tired of my ":-)" and "<g>" 's so I'm trying to trust that
my words will convey my message without the graphics but... :-) ;-)

Debbie wrote:

>> I really admire
>> this way of learning instead of having everything shoved down
>their
>> throats. I grew up thinking we had to be pushed all the time and
>> never had the opportunity to just sit back and make the
>decision on
>> my own to learn when I wanted to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my response:
Didn't you write somewhere that your dh isn't so supportive of your
unschooling leanings? IMO, that's a battle all in itself that would
be most beneficial if you could win him over to your way of thinking.
You both need to show a face of confidence to your son that he *will*
succeed at whatever he pursues and that unschooling *is* learning
without pain (which is the way it should be!).


Debbie wrote:
>> So, please explain where I go from here. I'm feeling like
>backing off
>> and letting him do whatever he chooses for a while.

Mimi responded:
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>I think that is exactly what you should do. Try and relax (I
>know it's
>hard). Just let him hang out and have fun. Let him do his
>computer
>programming. I don't know what your relationship is like with
>him, but
>do you think you two could do stuff together like go camping or
>do some
>traveling together. I would spend lots of time with him and
>maybe see
>if you can strengthen your relationship. Just have lots of fun
>with him
>and FORGET school and academics. Concentrate on being HAPPY!!!
>++++++++++++++++++++++++
my response: DO WHAT MIMI SAID... She's right!

Debbie wrote:
>> I've tried it,
>> but then I start feeling like he needs to learn, or should I
>say, do
>> academics. My husband's attitude about that may tend to sway me
>in
>> that direction more than I tend to want to go. My son is
>intelligent,
>> has big ideas, but has trouble implementing.

my response: Debbie, look at it this way. WHO says one has to finish
high school by "x" age? If you approach it that way, what's one year
of doing nothing? There's no catching up that needs to be done. If
your son were very ill and had to take a year off of school, would
you be in such a panic or would you sigh and say, we'll, he'll be
fine? There's no race here to the educational finish line... there
*is* no finish line! So consider this an experiemental year... you
have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


Mimi wrote:
>
>I suggest you think happy and positive thoughts and think about
>how
>lucky your son is that he doesn't have to waste his time in a
>school.
>Think about how lucky you are to have him around all day. How
>you can
>enjoy each other's company, etc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my response:
You'll have to find some things the two of you can do together once
in awhile. Sitting at home bored to tears won't work for long. You
say he's crazy about computers... can you make plans to go to a
computer show/extravaganza? How about just going to the bookstore and
finding books that interest him on computers? How about lining up a
trip for the two of you to a business that does what he's interested
in? If you called and said your son would like to spend an hour or
two with a mentor there and would anyone be interested in showing him
the business, *somebody* will be interested. Somebody will have a kid
and relate to your situation and offer help.

Mimi wrote:
>With regard to your husband, I have the same problem. I suggest
>you try
>and educate him as best you can about unschooling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my response:
And if he refuses to learn about unschooling, then tell him *you*
have done the research and *you* think this is best for your child.
If he's not willing to learn about the alternatives, then he needs to
relinquish that parenting responsibility over to you and not
criticize it! :-) I had to take this approach and although dh has
never read any John Holt other than what I've read out loud to him,
just observing our kids has brought him around full circle.

Debbie wrote:
>> I think in time,
>> however, he will do great things so I'm not sure why I'm
>concerned.
Mimi wrote:
> +++++++++++++++++++++
>He's lucky to have a mother with so much confidence in him. Just
>keep
>thinking that way and try to relax.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my response:
I agree. I think you're concerned because uncharted territory is
always a little unsettling. But if you stick around the unschooling
boards and lists you'll soon start feeling more at ease with your
inclinations to unschool. Just give it *one* year and I truly
believe you'll be where you want to be.
Sarah


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Message: 10
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 11:57:03 -0500
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
Subject: Re: I have picked up the book I never got a chance to really read
Quit School and

In the elementary grades, there's less emphasis on speed and grasping
things quickly than in middle and high school. The pace picks up
quite a bit. So, in your son's case, it's probably safe to say that
he's been able to cover up his inability to comprehend for quite some
time. Now that there's this diagnosis, he's bound to be upset.
Maybe he's angry/frustrated that he struggled for so long and nobody
ever realized it or figured it out. Maybe he's gotten into more
detailed material so that covering up is now impossible and he's
feeling defeated. (I don't know... just making assumptions based on
my friend's son who also had the same problem). In my friend's case,
her son began taking a medication (don't know which one but it was
akin to a mild sedative) and within three weeks, he experienced
positive results. Further, more detailed diagnosis was done and it
was determined that he could do the work when not put under the
normal time constraints. *Maybe* by being at home your son will
learn to relax without the medication (that is probably a bad choice
of wording)... I'm trying to say that your son may not need
medications (then again, he may) but at least try
unschooling/deschooling before drugs. There are side effects and
concequences to the drug route and you may very well be able to avoid
that if given time.
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Fri, 28 Dec 2001 03:50:56 -0800 (PST), debbie jones wrote:
>His problem is in
>comprehension. Attention Deficit Disorder. That is the reason he
>gives for not being able to read. He does read on the net, yes.
>That's in smaller spurts though. He was just diagnosed with ADD
>the other day, so the label wasn't given to him until then. The
>problem with reading began, and the not wanting any form of
>academics, in the last few years. They say that all goes along
>with having ADD. If anyone on this list is familiar with it,
>please speak up.
>Debbie




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Message: 11
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 12:06:33 -0500
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
Subject: Re: Re: Superior parents...was digest 1710

Hi Susan,
I totally expect to have very close ties with my dd's when they're
grown up. In thinking about all my hsing mom-friends, it seems we all
have struggles with our moms. It's also pretty clear that we're all
striving to not repeat the same patterns that put us in this
position.
My oldest is now a teen, 15 and we're going through that stage where
she's a goddess and I'm poison :( but compared to others I have
observed, we have a milder case of this than most. It's very
disturbing to me even though I know it's just a stage because I
*want* to be a part of her life. So, for now, I have to choose my
battles because in the end, I want to be able to go to lunch with my
adult children and laugh and tell secrets and all that good stuff. I
don't want to alienate her now just to make a point.
Maybe one day *we'll* stroll in the grocery store together and have
a good time even there!
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Fri, 28 Dec 2001 11:00:32 -0500, Joseph Fuerst wrote:
>Just curious, do we (on this list) expect our children to
>have close
>relationships with us when they're grown up?
>Susan....ramblings of the day
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Message: 12
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 12:10:37 -0500
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
Subject: Re: States of being

Kolleen,
I'm glad you're doing well and let's home the buggie viruses steer
clear of you!
You're so right about staying de-stressed. It's so easy to get caught
up in situations, isn't it? I have to step outside of myself and
decide if it's worth feeling so bad over (I get skin ulcers under
stress). Usually I can quickly decide things are not worth the pain!
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Fri, 28 Dec 01 11:14:16 -0500, Kolleen wrote:
>
>oh, and staying destressed. because emotions and happiness are a
>BIG key.
>
>warm regards,
>kolleen




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Message: 13
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:35:16 -0800
From: Home Education Magazine <HEM-Editor@...>
Subject: 48 Hours Article

48 Hours: A Family That Plays Together
* Suburban Family Moves To Rural Maine And Finds Peace and Love In Music:

http://cbsnews.com/now/story/0,1597,322113-412,00.shtml

"The biggest reason why I home school is because I feel like we, as a
nation, don't expect enough out of our kids,"



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Message: 14
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:42:25 -0800
From: Helen Hegener <HEM-Editor@...>
Subject: Re: state involment in H.S.

At 1:21 PM -0500 12/27/01, Wendy Silver wrote:
>Hello,
> If anyone is involved in h.s state sponsored programs, or is
knowledgeable
>of them, or has an opinion, please write to me at wew99@.... Our
>local districts haven't done anything to entice the homeschooling
community,
>but one is asking questions, and if they are going to implement a program,
I
>would like to offer them favorable examples or ideas.
>Wendy

There is a long-running discussion of this topic on this list:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PPSP-H/

Public and Private Schools and Homeschooling (PPSP-H), sponsored by
Home Education Magazine (HEM), was created for the discussion of
issues relating to public and private school programs which are
directed at and marketed to homeschooling families.

To subscribe via email send a blank emailing to:
[email protected]

The archives of that list comprise what is probably the most in-depth
examination of the issues surrounding these programs available
anywhere.

Helen




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Message: 15
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:48:42 -0800
From: Helen Hegener <HEM-Editor@...>
Subject: Re: state involment in H.S.

The bookmarks area of that list offers one of the most comprehensive
collections of articles, essays, faqs and more on the subject of
public schools marketing their programs to homeschoolers:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PPSP-H/links/Home_Education_Magaz_000979063069
/

For example, here's the collection from Home Education Magazine, all
available online (a sloppy cut and paste, please forgive the
formatting messies):

A Homeschooler Is a Homeschooler Is a...
Letter to the editor from Mary Griffith, May/June, 1998: "We don't
need to divide ourselves into yet another Us and Them, Real
Homeschoolers and Pretend Homeschoolers
http://www.ns.net/~mgriff/essays/homily.html

Larry and Susan Kaseman, Taking Charge Column, Nov/Dec, 1997
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM146.97/146.97_clmn_tkch.html

Homeschoolers, Is Our Good Name for Sale?
Larry and Susan Kaseman, Taking Charge Column, Sept/Oct, 2000
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/175/tch.html

Homeschooling in Public Schools: A Dangerous Oxymoron
Larry and Susan Kaseman, Taking Charge Column, Jan/Feb, 1999
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM161.99/161.99_clmn_tch.html

Labeling Publicly Funded Programs for Homeschooling, by Christine Webb
From a feature section on the subject, Sept/Oct, 1998
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM155.98/155.98_art_w-psap.html

National Homeschool Association Roundtable, 1996
Jan/Feb, 1997: "Government programs to supplement homeschoolers'
educational resources (by providing services or funding) would have
accountability strings attached."
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM141.97/141.97_art_nhar.html

Psst! Homeschooler, Have I Got a Carrot for You!
Linda Dobson's NewsWatch column, July/Aug, 1997 (part two; part one
is not online)
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM154.98/154.98_clmn_nws.html

Public School Programs and our Communities, by Janie Levine
From a feature section on the subject, Sept/Oct, 1998
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/HEM155.98/155.98_art_l-psap.html

The Third Great Lie, by Chris Cardiff
Feature article, Nov/Dec, 1996
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/136/cardiff.html

The Third Great Lie: Response, by Cathy Earle
A letter to the editors, by Cathy Earle, Jan/Feb, 1997
http://www.cahomeschoolnet.org/counterp.htm

Helen Hegener, Managing Editor
Home Education Magazine
HEM-Editor@...
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
~Ask me about HEM's email lists! ~




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Message: 16
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:30:15 -0800
From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
Subject: Re: I have picked up the book I never got a chance to really read
Quit School and



> My son knows all about some of the famous people (Edison, Einstein, etc)
> who had ADD and he knows he is smart. He admires Bill Gates and has
> bought a biography of his. His problem is in comprehension. Attention
> Deficit Disorder. That is the reason he gives for not being able to read.
> He does read on the net, yes. That's in smaller spurts though. He was
> just diagnosed with ADD the other day, so the label wasn't given to him
> until then. The problem with reading began, and the not wanting any form
> of academics, in the last few years. They say that all goes along with
> having ADD. If anyone on this list is familiar with it, please speak up.

Well I'm probably no more familiar with it than you. But your description
of your son could be a description of mine. <g> And, while he hasn't been
diagnosed, I'm more and more sure that he *is* ADD.

You say your son is keen on programming. Is he very far along that
path? My son has expressed an interest, but I have no idea how to get him
started. (I started learning programming in 1970, never finished the
course, and it's *way* different now.) Do you think your son would have
some ideas to help mine get started?
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island







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Message: 17
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:36:18 -0800
From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
Subject: Re: I have picked up the book I never got a chance to really read
Quit School and


> Now my only question is how to provide the necessary documentation to
> please the school district at the end of the year. I think that has been
> some of the most pressure I've been feeling. Still a prisoner and they
> don't even attend ps anymore.

I was just reading recently about MA and satisfying their regs. It might
have been here, in which case you'd find it in the archives. But one of
the suggestions was for a MA hs list. If you don't find it in the
archives, maybe you could search Yahoogroups. Or it might show up on
unschooling.com. At any rate, it sounded like it wouldn't be that hard to
do.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island







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Message: 18
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 09:43:06 -0800
From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
Subject: Re: Re: Superior parents...was digest 1710


>
>Why is it that we're (people in general) reduced to being our parents
>children even after we've grown up? It is rare to find the adult
>child/adult parent relationship that honors each other as adults.

My mother and I relate as adults. And so do my daughter and I. Her
father, on the other hand, has yet to learn that she is no longer a
child. It's kind of ironic. He spent her childhood trying to turn her
against me. And now she and I are *much* closer than they are. She's
actually had to write him out of her life a few times already.

> The wounds inflicted (knowingly or not) by parents seem to linger at
>least a lifetime. Have you found families you actually have friendships
>with who have manged to develop adult-adult relationships with grown
>children?

I'd say that we've got that with all three of our grown kids. We're still
parents, and we still worry about them, but we do our best to only *offer*
advice, in the sense that they are free to accept or reject without hurting
our feelings. (And we're not perfect at this. The "kids" know we're
trying though.)

> Just curious, do we (on this list) expect our children to have close
>relationships with us when they're grown up?

I certainly always have, and it's worked. (And the older ones all went to
school.)
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island







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Message: 19
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 10:11:02 -0800
From: Helen Hegener <HEM-Editor@...>
Subject: Relationships

At 11:00 AM -0500 12/28/01, Joseph Fuerst wrote:
> Just curious, do we (on this list) expect our children to have close
>relationships with us when they're grown up?

I always expected a close relationship with my kids when they were
grown, and so far we have just that, even though three of them live
quite a ways away (two in Alaska, one 60+ miles away), and the other
two are gone more than they're home most of the time.

What do I mean by close? Well... I was visiting the kids in Alaska
just before Christmas and we were out doing some Christmas shopping;
I was picking out one of those noisy-obnoxious kinds of toys grandmas
love to give grandkids when my oldest son grabbed me from behind,
lifted me right up off my feet with a big bearhug, and said "Mom, I
love you to pieces but if you get that for my daughter I'm going to
mail both it and her down to YOU!" <BWG>

So I snuck back the next day, bought the noisemaker, wrapped it up
and tucked it under the tree for HIM to open on Christmas - after I'd
left! <ggg>

Right now I'm waiting for Jim, the son who lives 60 miles away, to
show up with his family. I was over at their place last night (yeah,
we all travel A LOT), and thought about just spending the night
there, but it was a beautiful clear moonlit night and the drive
between here and there is through some of the most beautiful
mountains anywhere, over the highest pass in the state... (and
besides, there's nothing like one's *own* bed and snugglies <g>)

I'd been home about ten minutes when the phone rang. It was Jim, just
checking to make sure I'd made it home safely. Mark said it was his
third call, and on his call before that he'd said he was giving me
another half hour before he started out looking for me. (Yes, I carry
a cellphone, but it doesn't work out in those mountains.)

I credit my parents with teaching me how to parent. What goes around
comes around.

Helen





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Message: 20
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 13:27:27 -0500
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
Subject: Re: Relationships

I appreciate hearing about your family, Helen. So let's hope that
all of us ladies here who are trying to break a bad cycle will be
successful! Ya gotta start somewhere... why not within?
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Fri, 28 Dec 2001 10:11:02 -0800, Helen Hegener wrote:
>
>I credit my parents with teaching me how to parent. What goes
>around
>comes around.
>
>Helen
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Message: 21
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 13:36:09 EST
From: nanandter@...
Subject: Subject: Re: re:.......more of an unschooling approach

________________________________________________________________________

Message: 21
Date: Thu, 27 Dec 2001 14:32:29 -0600
From: Mimi Moorehead <groundhoggirl@...>
Subject: Re: re:.......more of an unschooling approach


On Thursday, December 27, 2001, at 12:38 PM, nanandter@... wrote:

>
>
>> Public schools "say" they accommodate ADD children, but let me tell you
> it is impossible for them to do so.
>
> The last year that my son was in public school they put off his 504
> Accomodation Plan meeting until January. (it should have taken place no
> later
> than October). At the meeting I asked the teacher why she had not made
> the
> accomodations that were outlined in the plan ( I had asked her on an
> almost
> daily basis up to this point), she replied that she didn't have a copy
> of the
> plan. That's when the special ed director realized that this teacher
> was a
> complete idiot, as I had been telling her. (she could've gotten a copy
> from
> me or the special ed director, but never asked) Anything the teacher
> said
> after that point in the meeting was looked upon with suspision and I
> caught
> her in an out-and-out lie and called her on it. (she responded by
> stating
> that she "didn't remember saying that").

>I don't want to sound like I'm defending the teacher here, I'm sure if
>you felt she lied, then she probably did. But, my question is, HOW COME
>THE SPECIAL ED ADMINISTRATORS DIDN'T MAKE SURE SHE WAS GIVEN A >COPY OF
>THE MODIFICATIONS TO KEEP IN HER FILES IN HER CLASSROOM? I feel that
>should be part of that administrators job - to make sure all the
>teachers have their mods in their classrooms.

The first day of school I informed the teacher that Andrew has Asperger
Syndrome and he had a 504 Accomodation plan-she said that she saw that in
his
file, and she never asked for a copy so I assumed that she had one.



> I didn't feel it was right that it be eaten up by continuous
>trips to the Special Ed office, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE ADMINISTRATORS >THERE
>HAVE SEVERAL SECRETARIES AND STUDENT HELPERS WHO COULD >EASILY
>HAND-DELIVER THESE VERY IMPORTANT MODIFICATIONS TO THE VERY >BUSY
>TEACHERS.

I can understand the frustration,but in our case, the teacher never even
made
any attempt to get his file, and you are right about the admin staff--the
principal didn't give a rat's butt about my son's situation.


>The administrators should remember that the teachers are very busy
>serving their many students. They should be the ones who put those mods
>in the teacher's box or deliver them to the classroom. The teachers are
>under much more stress and are much busier than those administrators.

In this case the principal wouldn't give me the time of day. After many
(15+)
attempts to get a new 504 meeting, and no one returning my calls, I finally
left a note for the principal saying that Andrew wasn't going to school
until
she saw me. It took her 9 school days to call me- then they marked him as
truant for those days because I failed to date the note and had no proof of
when I left it.


>Also, was this a new teacher? Was she new to the school? Did she know
>how the system worked? I remember my first year at my last high
>school. I was totally on my own. I didn't know who anyone was, where
>anything was, or what the policies and systems were. All the other
>teachers are so incredibly busy, they don't have time to teach and/or
>direct you. I didn't have a mentor teacher to help me because I was not
>a first-year teacher. It took me almost an entire school-year before I
>felt comfortable with how things worked there.

Yes, she was a new teacher but I was there every day, trying to talk to her
and get help for whatever she needed. She resisted all my efforts and also I
stopped volunteering because she complained evey time I was there about what
I was doing and how much time I spent with my son. She made excuses for not
communicating with me and not meeting the accomodations that I asked for.


>IMO, in your son's case, the administrators should have taken some of
>the blame for not having the accommodations or modifications put into
>the hands of the teacher. There is the possibility the teacher was
>totally overwhelmed and the administrators should have realized that.

I agree--everyone dropped the ball--but there's more to this story...
I work in a major grocery chain in our community and on 3 different
occasions
I had kids from his classrom some in the store and tell me that "Mrs.
Brennan
was being mean to Andrew"--lots of verbal abuse--screaming at him and
slamming her hand down on his desk. Of course when I questiond her she
always
denied it, and Andrew never told me because he was too afraid. I know that
he
was not a behavior problem--he just required too much of her time ......

Nancy S


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Message: 22
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 12:39:02 -0600
From: Mimi Moorehead <groundhoggirl@...>
Subject: Re: Relationships




> At 11:00 AM -0500 12/28/01, Joseph Fuerst wrote:
>> Just curious, do we (on this list) expect our children to have
>> close
>> relationships with us when they're grown up?
>
Yes. My husband and I are very close to our boys now and we hope to
remain so forever. My husband had an extremely close and beautiful
relationship with his "Pop" (his step-grandfather). My husband was
raised by this wonderful man. I credit him for the fact that my husband
is such an excellent and loving father. Wes, my husband, was very lucky
to have his Pop. He's been gone now for over 25 years, and Wes still
misses him terribly. I'm quite certain that my boys will be just as
close to my husband as he was to his Pop. I have learned a lot from my
husband about how to be a loving and caring parent.

Mimi


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Message: 23
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 13:36:37 -0500
From: "Wendy Silver" <wew99@...>
Subject: thanks Helen

Thanks for all of the sites concerning states involvement in home education.
My own instincts tell me to run far away, but I am looking forward to
reading many other opinions, and examples, and maybe it can help someone
that would never stray from the system or maybe not, I don't know.
Wendy
wew99@...



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Message: 24
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 14:00:38 EST
From: RValvo7626@...
Subject: Re: Digest Number 1710

In a message dated 12/28/01 2:32:29 AM Mountain Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> They were chatting and smiling and
> clearly enjoying each others' company. I was green with envy but I
> also wanted to go up to them and tell them how lucky they are! It's
> just not meant to be for me (and you? :( ) but one thing is sure...
> I'm going to do all I can to not repeat the same mistakes with my own
> girls.
>
> I hope to have a great relationship w/ my dd as well. My mother doesn't
understand why we don't,of course it is all me and something is wrong w/ me.
We can sit and have tea and chat,I keep my opinions to myself and listen
mostly. She is like a strong cup of espresso you try and drink. Just can't
do
it often.

NICKI~


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Message: 25
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2001 14:02:28 EST
From: RValvo7626@...
Subject: Re: Digest Number 1710

In a message dated 12/28/01 2:32:29 AM Mountain Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> About 2 years ago she threw a
> glass of water in Leroy's face because he was crying.

Awful.

NICKI~


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