to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
Sarah Carothers
Hey, Lynda... what are the ages of your kidlets? For some reason I never knew (or remembered??!!) that bit of info.
I know you have a range ... :-)
Sarah
I know you have a range ... :-)
Sarah
----- Original Message -----
From: Lynda
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 6:11 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
Eldest son was that way. Like a long dry spell without reading anything
that didn't, I guess you could say, give him something "useful" in return
for his reading. Then at about 20 he became a reading nut just like mom <g>
Now, if he isn't reading, he is listening to books on tape.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 12:22 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
> >
> >IMO, it's good enough that he's reading manuals and that sort of thing.
> >Oldest dd is also that way.. only wants to read for information but not
> >for pleasure. Her loss, yes, but she'll still be able to get along as an
> >adult with these skills and that's all I care about with regard to
> >reading. Seems your son is the same...
>
> I think so. The thing I just don't *get* though, is how he could go from
> absolutely loving to have fiction read to him, to not wanting to read it
> and rarely wanting it read to him. I can understand not wanting to be
read
> to at age 14, though I still enjoyed it sometimes at that age as a family
> reading time. But to not want to try to read the fiction he's always
> loved.....? I guess it's still too hard for him to read fast enough to
> enjoy it. When he's reading non-fiction, he's reading for specific info
> that he wants.
> Tia
>
> Tia Leschke leschke@...
> On Vancouver Island
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
Geez Louise, now you want me to think <g> Eldest bio is 31, followed by 29,
21 (8 years and 8 days diff between these two. The 21 yo being my 'tubal
ligation' baby), 17 (18 in two weeks), 13 (14 in 2 days) and 9. Then there
are the foster kidlets. Those still living (we lost one daughter at 16 in a
freak car accident and another 4 years ago at age 41 to the side effects of
Prozac) are 18, 18, 16 and just turned 16 last Friday. The nieces and
nephews we raised are now 44, 42, 41, 40 and 35. The "walking wounded"
that we have "adopted" over the years now number 27 and range in age from
45 to 20.
Ya know what, I never stopped and counted before. I think I'm tired <g>
Lynda
21 (8 years and 8 days diff between these two. The 21 yo being my 'tubal
ligation' baby), 17 (18 in two weeks), 13 (14 in 2 days) and 9. Then there
are the foster kidlets. Those still living (we lost one daughter at 16 in a
freak car accident and another 4 years ago at age 41 to the side effects of
Prozac) are 18, 18, 16 and just turned 16 last Friday. The nieces and
nephews we raised are now 44, 42, 41, 40 and 35. The "walking wounded"
that we have "adopted" over the years now number 27 and range in age from
45 to 20.
Ya know what, I never stopped and counted before. I think I'm tired <g>
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 4:01 PM
Subject: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> Hey, Lynda... what are the ages of your kidlets? For some reason I never
knew (or remembered??!!) that bit of info.
> I know you have a range ... :-)
> Sarah
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Lynda
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 6:11 PM
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
>
> Eldest son was that way. Like a long dry spell without reading anything
> that didn't, I guess you could say, give him something "useful" in
return
> for his reading. Then at about 20 he became a reading nut just like mom
<g>
> Now, if he isn't reading, he is listening to books on tape.
>
> Lynda
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 12:22 PM
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
>
> >
> > >
> > >IMO, it's good enough that he's reading manuals and that sort of
thing.
> > >Oldest dd is also that way.. only wants to read for information but
not
> > >for pleasure. Her loss, yes, but she'll still be able to get along as
an
> > >adult with these skills and that's all I care about with regard to
> > >reading. Seems your son is the same...
> >
> > I think so. The thing I just don't *get* though, is how he could go
from
> > absolutely loving to have fiction read to him, to not wanting to read
it
> > and rarely wanting it read to him. I can understand not wanting to be
> read
> > to at age 14, though I still enjoyed it sometimes at that age as a
family
> > reading time. But to not want to try to read the fiction he's always
> > loved.....? I guess it's still too hard for him to read fast enough
to
> > enjoy it. When he's reading non-fiction, he's reading for specific
info
> > that he wants.
> > Tia
> >
> > Tia Leschke leschke@...
> > On Vancouver Island
> >
>
****************************************************************************
> ****************
> > It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. -
> Janice
> > Levy
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> >
> >
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> > Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> > http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
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http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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Sarah Carothers
<Ya know what, I never stopped and counted before. I think I'm tired <g>
Lynda
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
>>>>>>>...I think it's wonderful that you have taken in so many kids. Now that alot of them are grown, do you see them doing the same thing with kids that they run across who need a concerned parent-figure? I just wonder if the good rubs off...
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
Eldest son is a "rescuer." Son #3 is a rescuer. Our foster daughter who
died at 40 was a "rescuer." The nieces and nephews are scattered all over
the U.S. (one works one of those fishing boats in Alaska, I don't know if
that makes her brave or crazy <g>). I don't have that much contact with
them. I get cards from all over the place and a lot of them have gotten
into occupations that are rescue/help oriented. One became a lawyer who
only does indigent cases.
Again, you are making me think and count. I know several are in the
nursing/social services (NOT CPS type) fields. Another is an elders
advocate.
I'd say I'm batting at 500.
However, I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
died at 40 was a "rescuer." The nieces and nephews are scattered all over
the U.S. (one works one of those fishing boats in Alaska, I don't know if
that makes her brave or crazy <g>). I don't have that much contact with
them. I get cards from all over the place and a lot of them have gotten
into occupations that are rescue/help oriented. One became a lawyer who
only does indigent cases.
Again, you are making me think and count. I know several are in the
nursing/social services (NOT CPS type) fields. Another is an elders
advocate.
I'd say I'm batting at 500.
However, I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 6:22 AM
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> <Ya know what, I never stopped and counted before. I think I'm tired <g>
>
> Lynda
> >>>>>>>...
> I think it's wonderful that you have taken in so many kids. Now that alot
of them are grown, do you see them doing the same thing with kids that they
run across who need a concerned parent-figure? I just wonder if the good
rubs off...
> Sarah
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
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Sarah Carothers
<I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
>>>>>>>>>>>>.Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself and knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
Oh, it could be but it was so sad that a 16 yo would think that. He is such
a bright child but contrary to all the bs that the ps's shove out, he has no
social skills at all. So much for the socialization issue! He's only been
with us a little over a year now but he can now hold a conversation without
having to put everyone else down as a way to pump himself up. When he first
came to live with us we had lots of conversations about all the marvelous
points he has but he didn't believe us. Baby steps but at least we are no
longer doing two steps backward for every one forward!
Lynda
a bright child but contrary to all the bs that the ps's shove out, he has no
social skills at all. So much for the socialization issue! He's only been
with us a little over a year now but he can now hold a conversation without
having to put everyone else down as a way to pump himself up. When he first
came to live with us we had lots of conversations about all the marvelous
points he has but he didn't believe us. Baby steps but at least we are no
longer doing two steps backward for every one forward!
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> <I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
> he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like
his
> mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you
a
> better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have
too
> much of her still in me."
>
> Lynda
> >>>>>>>>>>>>.
> Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself and
knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
> Sarah
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
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>
Elsa Haas
I used to say this about myself. I didnt think it was genetic, but I was
afraid that I had been too damaged to be able to be a good mother.
It helped to wait (Im 35 was 33 when our son was born); to get a lot of
experience with kids in various situations; and to read a lot about child
abuse and alternative ways of looking at things like obedience. I do
struggle at times, but it hasnt been the disaster I feared. As long as your
son is relatively young, I wouldnt worry about it too much he might
change his mind. It would be a pity if someone who actually remembers what
it was like to be abused still felt permanently powerless to stop the cycle
of violence.
Good books for him, if hes interested: Alice Millers For Your Own Good,
Torey Haydens Murphys Boy (or one of her other books, if he wants to avoid
a couple of very graphic passages describing severe abuse), Rachel Pinneys
Bobby: Breakthrough Of An Autistic Child (not about abuse, but containing
ideas about obedience / discipline / physical force / punishment / reward /
manipulation issues I volunteered for her in London years ago and learned
a lot), Virginia Axlines Dibs (about emotional abuse and play therapy).
Also, Granjus Attachment Parenting and Jean Liedloffs The Continuum
Concept (both helpful for rethinking whats really normal and for avoiding
a lot of the power struggles and catch-22s parenting tends to put you into
in this society).
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Sarah Carothers [mailto:puddles@...]
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 3:41 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
<I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
afraid that I had been too damaged to be able to be a good mother.
It helped to wait (Im 35 was 33 when our son was born); to get a lot of
experience with kids in various situations; and to read a lot about child
abuse and alternative ways of looking at things like obedience. I do
struggle at times, but it hasnt been the disaster I feared. As long as your
son is relatively young, I wouldnt worry about it too much he might
change his mind. It would be a pity if someone who actually remembers what
it was like to be abused still felt permanently powerless to stop the cycle
of violence.
Good books for him, if hes interested: Alice Millers For Your Own Good,
Torey Haydens Murphys Boy (or one of her other books, if he wants to avoid
a couple of very graphic passages describing severe abuse), Rachel Pinneys
Bobby: Breakthrough Of An Autistic Child (not about abuse, but containing
ideas about obedience / discipline / physical force / punishment / reward /
manipulation issues I volunteered for her in London years ago and learned
a lot), Virginia Axlines Dibs (about emotional abuse and play therapy).
Also, Granjus Attachment Parenting and Jean Liedloffs The Continuum
Concept (both helpful for rethinking whats really normal and for avoiding
a lot of the power struggles and catch-22s parenting tends to put you into
in this society).
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Sarah Carothers [mailto:puddles@...]
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 3:41 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
<I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like his
mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you a
better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have too
much of her still in me."
Lynda
>>>>>>>>>>>>.Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself and
knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
"drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he ever
gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
Lynda
psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
"drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he ever
gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Elsa Haas <ElsaHaas@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 4:43 PM
Subject: RE: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> I used to say this about myself. I didn't think it was genetic, but I was
> afraid that I had been too damaged to be able to be a good mother.
>
> It helped to wait (I'm 35 - was 33 when our son was born); to get a lot of
> experience with kids in various situations; and to read a lot about child
> abuse and alternative ways of looking at things like "obedience". I do
> struggle at times, but it hasn't been the disaster I feared. As long as
your
> son is relatively young, I wouldn't worry about it too much - he might
> change his mind. It would be a pity if someone who actually remembers what
> it was like to be abused still felt permanently powerless to stop the
cycle
> of violence.
>
> Good books for him, if he's interested: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good,
> Torey Hayden's Murphy's Boy (or one of her other books, if he wants to
avoid
> a couple of very graphic passages describing severe abuse), Rachel
Pinney's
> Bobby: Breakthrough Of An Autistic Child (not about abuse, but containing
> ideas about obedience / discipline / physical force / punishment / reward
/
> manipulation issues - I volunteered for her in London years ago and
learned
> a lot), Virginia Axline's Dibs (about emotional abuse and play therapy).
>
> Also, Granju's Attachment Parenting and Jean Liedloff's The Continuum
> Concept (both helpful for rethinking what's really "normal" and for
avoiding
> a lot of the power struggles and catch-22's parenting tends to put you
into
> in this society).
>
> Elsa Haas
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sarah Carothers [mailto:puddles@...]
> Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 3:41 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
> <I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
> he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like
his
> mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you
a
> better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have
too
> much of her still in me."
>
> Lynda
> >>>>>>>>>>>>.
> Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself and
> knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
> Sarah
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
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Sarah Carothers
Lynda! I just thought of a great book for him!! It's called I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Not You. It's a book about personalities and how they interact/*don't* interact and how to understand people who are different than you. GREAT book.
Sarah
Sarah
----- Original Message -----
From: Lynda
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 2:17 AM
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
"drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he ever
gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
Thank you, mam <g>
Lynda
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Sarah Carothers <puddles@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 7:13 AM
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> Lynda! I just thought of a great book for him!! It's called I'm Not Crazy,
I'm Just Not You. It's a book about personalities and how they
interact/*don't* interact and how to understand people who are different
than you. GREAT book.
> Sarah
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Lynda
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 2:17 AM
> Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
>
> I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
> psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
> "drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he
ever
> gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
> these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
>
> Lynda
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Elsa Haas
Lynda,
Lots of trash is out there in the name of psychology. Hope he doesnt get
turned off to psychology, much less reading in general, by what he happened
to find at the sale. Technical stuff with the statistics and the behavioral
modification jargon blechhh!
Heres a good title if hes interested in experimental psych: Stanley
Milgrams Obedience to Authority. Enough to give you the willies and make
you question just about everything.
For any of the books I mentioned, let me know if he likes them and I can
recommend where to go from there I know of others in each area. (If Im
not on the list by then, email me at ElsaHaas@...
<mailto:ElsaHaas@...> .)
Sixteen is a fine age to renounce parenthood. He has plenty of time. It isn
t sad its positive! So many kids with awful childhoods just fall right
back into the same pattern as parents, without even pausing to think much
about it.
He needs to know that there are people out there who have questioned the
mainstream view of abuse as simply a somewhat excessively severe form of
normal parenting.
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Lynda [mailto:lurine@...]
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 2:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
"drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he ever
gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
Lynda
Lots of trash is out there in the name of psychology. Hope he doesnt get
turned off to psychology, much less reading in general, by what he happened
to find at the sale. Technical stuff with the statistics and the behavioral
modification jargon blechhh!
Heres a good title if hes interested in experimental psych: Stanley
Milgrams Obedience to Authority. Enough to give you the willies and make
you question just about everything.
For any of the books I mentioned, let me know if he likes them and I can
recommend where to go from there I know of others in each area. (If Im
not on the list by then, email me at ElsaHaas@...
<mailto:ElsaHaas@...> .)
Sixteen is a fine age to renounce parenthood. He has plenty of time. It isn
t sad its positive! So many kids with awful childhoods just fall right
back into the same pattern as parents, without even pausing to think much
about it.
He needs to know that there are people out there who have questioned the
mainstream view of abuse as simply a somewhat excessively severe form of
normal parenting.
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Lynda [mailto:lurine@...]
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 2:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
"drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he ever
gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Elsa Haas <ElsaHaas@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 4:43 PM
Subject: RE: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> I used to say this about myself. I didn't think it was genetic, but I was
> afraid that I had been too damaged to be able to be a good mother.
>
> It helped to wait (I'm 35 - was 33 when our son was born); to get a lot of
> experience with kids in various situations; and to read a lot about child
> abuse and alternative ways of looking at things like "obedience". I do
> struggle at times, but it hasn't been the disaster I feared. As long as
your
> son is relatively young, I wouldn't worry about it too much - he might
> change his mind. It would be a pity if someone who actually remembers what
> it was like to be abused still felt permanently powerless to stop the
cycle
> of violence.
>
> Good books for him, if he's interested: Alice Miller's For Your Own Good,
> Torey Hayden's Murphy's Boy (or one of her other books, if he wants to
avoid
> a couple of very graphic passages describing severe abuse), Rachel
Pinney's
> Bobby: Breakthrough Of An Autistic Child (not about abuse, but containing
> ideas about obedience / discipline / physical force / punishment / reward
/
> manipulation issues - I volunteered for her in London years ago and
learned
> a lot), Virginia Axline's Dibs (about emotional abuse and play therapy).
>
> Also, Granju's Attachment Parenting and Jean Liedloff's The Continuum
> Concept (both helpful for rethinking what's really "normal" and for
avoiding
> a lot of the power struggles and catch-22's parenting tends to put you
into
> in this society).
>
> Elsa Haas
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sarah Carothers [mailto:puddles@...]
> Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 3:41 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
> <I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
> he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like
his
> mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make you
a
> better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have
too
> much of her still in me."
>
> Lynda
> >>>>>>>>>>>>.
> Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself and
> knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
> Sarah
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
Well, he gets lots of hugs (something I don't think he ever had) which is
cute since I'm 5'2" (o.k., so its 5' 1 1/2" <g>) and he is sprouting and is
passed 6'2" and still growing. And youngest kidlet makes him hug her too
(she is a very petite 9 yo). First time that happened the look on his face
was like "wow, do people really do this."
The book we picked out was recommended by a professor. I don't remember
what the name of it was but it is about misconceptions of what psychology is
all about and what terms actually mean vs. what the general public thinks
they mean. Kind of a psychology "un" labeling book. Does that make sense?
I've saved your posted to his file and he says he is going to look through
them as soon as he finishes this book. He's studying for his driver's
license, reading the psych book, reading Shakespeare, playing basketball,
got a job and has to make time to watch football on tv. Very busy.
thanks for the recommendations and we'll keep your e-mail addy in our saved
file (not on the net thingy (too many worms and viruses) but in our PCF.
Lynda
cute since I'm 5'2" (o.k., so its 5' 1 1/2" <g>) and he is sprouting and is
passed 6'2" and still growing. And youngest kidlet makes him hug her too
(she is a very petite 9 yo). First time that happened the look on his face
was like "wow, do people really do this."
The book we picked out was recommended by a professor. I don't remember
what the name of it was but it is about misconceptions of what psychology is
all about and what terms actually mean vs. what the general public thinks
they mean. Kind of a psychology "un" labeling book. Does that make sense?
I've saved your posted to his file and he says he is going to look through
them as soon as he finishes this book. He's studying for his driver's
license, reading the psych book, reading Shakespeare, playing basketball,
got a job and has to make time to watch football on tv. Very busy.
thanks for the recommendations and we'll keep your e-mail addy in our saved
file (not on the net thingy (too many worms and viruses) but in our PCF.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Elsa Haas <ElsaHaas@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 3:22 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Stopping cycle of abuse (was: Reading late)
> Lynda,
>
> Lots of trash is out there in the name of psychology. Hope he doesn't get
> turned off to psychology, much less reading in general, by what he
happened
> to find at the sale. Technical stuff with the statistics and the
behavioral
> modification jargon - blechhh!
>
> Here's a good title if he's interested in experimental psych: Stanley
> Milgram's Obedience to Authority. Enough to give you the willies and make
> you question just about everything.
>
> For any of the books I mentioned, let me know if he likes them and I can
> recommend where to go from there - I know of others in each area. (If I'm
> not on the list by then, email me at ElsaHaas@...
> <mailto:ElsaHaas@...> .)
>
> Sixteen is a fine age to renounce parenthood. He has plenty of time. It
isn'
> t sad - it's positive! So many kids with awful childhoods just fall right
> back into the same pattern as parents, without even pausing to think much
> about it.
>
> He needs to know that there are people out there who have questioned the
> mainstream view of abuse as simply a somewhat excessively severe form of
> "normal" parenting.
>
> Elsa Haas
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Lynda [mailto:lurine@...]
> Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 2:18 AM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
> I'll let him know about those titles. Right now he has decided to read
> psychology (we went to the community college used book sale and he was
> "drawn" to that section) and the complete works of Shakespeare. IF he
ever
> gets through those and they don't turn him off reading <g> maybe one of
> these will interest him. Thanks for the list.
>
> Lynda
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Elsa Haas <ElsaHaas@...>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 4:43 PM
> Subject: RE: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
>
>
> > I used to say this about myself. I didn't think it was genetic, but I
was
> > afraid that I had been too damaged to be able to be a good mother.
> >
> > It helped to wait (I'm 35 - was 33 when our son was born); to get a lot
of
> > experience with kids in various situations; and to read a lot about
child
> > abuse and alternative ways of looking at things like "obedience". I do
> > struggle at times, but it hasn't been the disaster I feared. As long as
> your
> > son is relatively young, I wouldn't worry about it too much - he might
> > change his mind. It would be a pity if someone who actually remembers
what
> > it was like to be abused still felt permanently powerless to stop the
> cycle
> > of violence.
> >
> > Good books for him, if he's interested: Alice Miller's For Your Own
Good,
> > Torey Hayden's Murphy's Boy (or one of her other books, if he wants to
> avoid
> > a couple of very graphic passages describing severe abuse), Rachel
> Pinney's
> > Bobby: Breakthrough Of An Autistic Child (not about abuse, but
containing
> > ideas about obedience / discipline / physical force / punishment /
reward
> /
> > manipulation issues - I volunteered for her in London years ago and
> learned
> > a lot), Virginia Axline's Dibs (about emotional abuse and play therapy).
> >
> > Also, Granju's Attachment Parenting and Jean Liedloff's The Continuum
> > Concept (both helpful for rethinking what's really "normal" and for
> avoiding
> > a lot of the power struggles and catch-22's parenting tends to put you
> into
> > in this society).
> >
> > Elsa Haas
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Sarah Carothers [mailto:puddles@...]
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 3:41 PM
> > To: [email protected]
> > Subject: Re: to Lynda: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re:reading late
> >
> > <I was quite saddened by one of the boys we "rescued." He said that
> > he is never going to have children because he is afraid he will be like
> his
> > mother. I said to him but you know the difference, wouldn't that make
you
> a
> > better parent. He said "I don't think I can be like you, I think I have
> too
> > much of her still in me."
> >
> > Lynda
> > >>>>>>>>>>>>.
> > Well, maybe you shouldn't be sad about that. Perhaps he knows himself
and
> > knows that it's in the genes (question: is it??? could it be???)
> > Sarah
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
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>
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>
>
>
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>
>
Elsa Haas
Lynda,
Sounds interesting. Title?
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Lynda [mailto:lurine@...]
Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2001 2:34 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Stopping cycle of abuse (was: Reading
late)
<>
The book we picked out was recommended by a professor. I don't remember
what the name of it was but it is about misconceptions of what psychology is
all about and what terms actually mean vs. what the general public thinks
they mean. Kind of a psychology "un" labeling book. Does that make sense?
<>
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sounds interesting. Title?
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: Lynda [mailto:lurine@...]
Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2001 2:34 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Stopping cycle of abuse (was: Reading
late)
<>
The book we picked out was recommended by a professor. I don't remember
what the name of it was but it is about misconceptions of what psychology is
all about and what terms actually mean vs. what the general public thinks
they mean. Kind of a psychology "un" labeling book. Does that make sense?
<>
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]