Re:sticks-n-stones...was homeschooling mystery
Joseph Fuerst
Sure seems like you're saying: "sticks and stones will break my bones, but
names will never hurt me....or my children."
This is NOT TRUE.
Words have great power.
Susan.....
ago, I learned to disassociate the negative connotation from
descriptive words like willful and also from ones like dyslexic. I
personally have been called everything from abrasive to the deamon
bitch. The words don't affect my self-worth. It took me years to
learn, it took my kid's days to learn - but that was because they had
an example to learn from.
Bridget
________________________________________________________________________
names will never hurt me....or my children."
This is NOT TRUE.
Words have great power.
Susan.....
> It's all in how you chose to frame your child's personailityI think it is more in how you veiw the words and the language. Long
ago, I learned to disassociate the negative connotation from
descriptive words like willful and also from ones like dyslexic. I
personally have been called everything from abrasive to the deamon
bitch. The words don't affect my self-worth. It took me years to
learn, it took my kid's days to learn - but that was because they had
an example to learn from.
Bridget
________________________________________________________________________
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Joseph Fuerst" <fuerst@f...> wrote:
over me anymore. As one who was the kids made fun of in grade
school, I learned that those people who use words that way do so
because they don't know the true meaning of power.
My kids learned very much earlier than I that words are words
and "Filet Mignon" and "dead cow flesh" mean the same thing. They
know that if I say they are "lazy" it means they share my tendency to
be inactive. They don't view it as an insult, they view it as an
observation. And they are quite free with making the same
observation about me and I appreciate it when they do because
sometimes I need to hear it too.
Bridget
Nollaig Shona -- Síocháin ar domhan,
---------------------------------------------------------------------
At 18, our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45, they are
caves in which we hide.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
> Sure seems like you're saying: "sticks and stones will break mybones, but
> names will never hurt me....or my children."Yes, words have great power. But you know what, they have no power
>
> This is NOT TRUE.
> Words have great power.
> Susan.....
>
over me anymore. As one who was the kids made fun of in grade
school, I learned that those people who use words that way do so
because they don't know the true meaning of power.
My kids learned very much earlier than I that words are words
and "Filet Mignon" and "dead cow flesh" mean the same thing. They
know that if I say they are "lazy" it means they share my tendency to
be inactive. They don't view it as an insult, they view it as an
observation. And they are quite free with making the same
observation about me and I appreciate it when they do because
sometimes I need to hear it too.
Bridget
Nollaig Shona -- Síocháin ar domhan,
---------------------------------------------------------------------
At 18, our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45, they are
caves in which we hide.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Bridget
I realized that there is potential for a bit of confusionin a
coupleof my posts today . . . so I'll post the explanation before
someone attacks the inconsistency.
First I said that no one here said that they say things like "lazy
and willful" to their children. Then later I said that I would not
censor those words from my household.
Both things are true or were when I said them. I would not advocate
that you all start telling it like it is in your homes because it
sounds like most of you do not have the kind of language usage in
your homes that we have here. My kids have had 16, 14 and 10 years
to learn about words and how we play with them here. I would
advocate that you help your kids learn about the effects of language
before you let them out in the world where they could be hurt by a
lack of understanding.
I hope that's clear!
Bridget
coupleof my posts today . . . so I'll post the explanation before
someone attacks the inconsistency.
First I said that no one here said that they say things like "lazy
and willful" to their children. Then later I said that I would not
censor those words from my household.
Both things are true or were when I said them. I would not advocate
that you all start telling it like it is in your homes because it
sounds like most of you do not have the kind of language usage in
your homes that we have here. My kids have had 16, 14 and 10 years
to learn about words and how we play with them here. I would
advocate that you help your kids learn about the effects of language
before you let them out in the world where they could be hurt by a
lack of understanding.
I hope that's clear!
Bridget
Sarah Carothers
Bridget wrote:
<. My kids have had 16, 14 and 10 years
to learn about words and how we play with them here. I would
advocate that you help your kids learn about the effects of language
before you let them out in the world where they could be hurt by a
lack of understanding.
I remember hearing as a child, *repeatedly*, that I couldn't learn; that I wasn't a smart kid. That did *lots* of damage to me and I grew to believe those words. Instead of focusing on what I could not do, I wish someone had focused on what I *could* do.
So, back to the reading thing... if it's something my dd cannot do well, I can try to *help* her do better but at the same time, I absolutely *have* to keep my focus her natural abilities and go from there.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<. My kids have had 16, 14 and 10 years
to learn about words and how we play with them here. I would
advocate that you help your kids learn about the effects of language
before you let them out in the world where they could be hurt by a
lack of understanding.
>>>>>>>>>>.I don't know your kids, obviously, but I would be curious to know how *they* use words with other people. IOW, do they use language that their friends are confused by or find offensive because they (the friends) haven't had 10, 14, & 16 yrs. worth of hearing them used to describe oneself? It's hard for me to comprehend what effect it would have on a person to have been told for years that they're 'x'(fill in your word which means it's some trait that needs changing).
I remember hearing as a child, *repeatedly*, that I couldn't learn; that I wasn't a smart kid. That did *lots* of damage to me and I grew to believe those words. Instead of focusing on what I could not do, I wish someone had focused on what I *could* do.
So, back to the reading thing... if it's something my dd cannot do well, I can try to *help* her do better but at the same time, I absolutely *have* to keep my focus her natural abilities and go from there.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Sarah Carothers" <puddles@t...>
wrote:
that their friends are confused by or find offensive because they
(the friends) haven't had 10, 14, & 16 yrs. worth of hearing them
used to describe oneself? It's hard for me to comprehend what effect
it would have on a person to have been told for years that
they're 'x'(fill in your word which means it's some trait that needs
changing).
No, they don't have trouble communicating with others. In fact,
Rachel was complimented by a local college's admissions counselor on
her ability to communicate well. What my kids have (all three of
them) is an advanced set of linguistic registers (see definition
below) for their respective ages.
It's funny because I never really thought about it before. I never
actively taught them situational language but they have picked it up
in a way many people never do.
register (LANGUAGE STYLE)noun [C/U] SPECIALIZED
the style of language, grammar and words used for particular
situations
People chatting at a party will usually be talking in (an) informal
register.
Bridget
wrote:
>how *they* use words with other people. IOW, do they use language
> I don't know your kids, obviously, but I would be curious to know
that their friends are confused by or find offensive because they
(the friends) haven't had 10, 14, & 16 yrs. worth of hearing them
used to describe oneself? It's hard for me to comprehend what effect
it would have on a person to have been told for years that
they're 'x'(fill in your word which means it's some trait that needs
changing).
No, they don't have trouble communicating with others. In fact,
Rachel was complimented by a local college's admissions counselor on
her ability to communicate well. What my kids have (all three of
them) is an advanced set of linguistic registers (see definition
below) for their respective ages.
It's funny because I never really thought about it before. I never
actively taught them situational language but they have picked it up
in a way many people never do.
register (LANGUAGE STYLE)noun [C/U] SPECIALIZED
the style of language, grammar and words used for particular
situations
People chatting at a party will usually be talking in (an) informal
register.
Bridget
[email protected]
On Mon, 03 Dec 2001 16:13:29 -0000 "Bridget" <rumpleteasermom@...>
writes:
specialized language used by people of a certain occupation, or with a
certain specialized interest... lepidopterists have a linguistic
register, for example, and so do philatelists, or physicians. Calling
your families, um, quirky ways of defining words a linguistic register is
stretching it. Also, typically a group's lingustic register won't involve
defining a word similarly to the way the rest of the world uses it,
except without any negative connotations.
Dar
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writes:
> What my kids have (all three ofTypically, the term linguistic regsiter is used to describe the
> them) is an advanced set of linguistic registers (see definition
> below) for their respective ages.
specialized language used by people of a certain occupation, or with a
certain specialized interest... lepidopterists have a linguistic
register, for example, and so do philatelists, or physicians. Calling
your families, um, quirky ways of defining words a linguistic register is
stretching it. Also, typically a group's lingustic register won't involve
defining a word similarly to the way the rest of the world uses it,
except without any negative connotations.
Dar
________________________________________________________________
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Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/.
Tia Leschke
>I heard repeatedly that I never finished what I started, that I was a
>I remember hearing as a child, *repeatedly*, that I couldn't learn; that I
>wasn't a smart kid. That did *lots* of damage to me and I grew to believe
>those words. Instead of focusing on what I could not do, I wish someone
>had focused on what I *could* do.
quitter. And all those repetitions didn't do dick all to turn me into a
finisher. I still struggle with it.
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
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It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy