finding time to do it all
[email protected]
I've been feeling guilty because we have a ton of Christmas prep to
do and if we're going to get it all finished, I've got to spend an
awful lot of time on some necessary work. Some of the stuff is stuff
the kids might not understand, like cleaning and organizing. For
example, I had to spend a big chunk of the day organizing stuff in
the living room to make room for the tree platform and cleaning out
the attic to make room for furniture that we have to store there
during Christmas. Other stuff is stuff they want to do but they're
big projects which take prep time on my part (Christmas gift crafts
they want to make for their grandparents, sewing bedding for dd's
doll beds that she's getting for Christmas)
The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
get ready for Christmas.
Does anyone else find that they don't always have time to do
everything with their kids that the kids ask them to do? My kids are
ages 8, 4, and 2.
Sheila
do and if we're going to get it all finished, I've got to spend an
awful lot of time on some necessary work. Some of the stuff is stuff
the kids might not understand, like cleaning and organizing. For
example, I had to spend a big chunk of the day organizing stuff in
the living room to make room for the tree platform and cleaning out
the attic to make room for furniture that we have to store there
during Christmas. Other stuff is stuff they want to do but they're
big projects which take prep time on my part (Christmas gift crafts
they want to make for their grandparents, sewing bedding for dd's
doll beds that she's getting for Christmas)
The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
get ready for Christmas.
Does anyone else find that they don't always have time to do
everything with their kids that the kids ask them to do? My kids are
ages 8, 4, and 2.
Sheila
groundhoggirl
Yes, I know what you mean. I feel the same way. But with me, it seems
like I am like this all year long. I always feel like I have things I
need to do around the house. Believe me, I'm not a neat freak. Our
house is always a mess. I have to do some things, once in a while,
before it turns into a complete dump.
I keep telling myself that this is a part of unschooling. Certain
mundane chores must be done daily, or at least once in a while. My boys
see me doing this and they are learning that this is just a necessary
part of life. One day they will do these things too. Actually, they
are already doing some of these things on their own. It's totally
voluntary. This doesn't happen every day, but once in a while they'll
choose to help me to fold the clothes, clean the bathroom and they just
love to mop the floor.
There are plenty of times when they complain that I'm not available
because I'm doing something. And, of course, I feel guilty. I don't
know how to get rid of the guilt, even though I know it's not bad for
them to go through this. They, after all, have to learn how to
entertain themselves. This is one of the beauties of unschooling, I
think. Kids learn how to entertain themselves. For some, it comes
easier than others. I have twin boys. They are very different. One
requires so much more attention and entertaining than the other. I try
my best to keep everyone happy, including myself.
Mimi
like I am like this all year long. I always feel like I have things I
need to do around the house. Believe me, I'm not a neat freak. Our
house is always a mess. I have to do some things, once in a while,
before it turns into a complete dump.
I keep telling myself that this is a part of unschooling. Certain
mundane chores must be done daily, or at least once in a while. My boys
see me doing this and they are learning that this is just a necessary
part of life. One day they will do these things too. Actually, they
are already doing some of these things on their own. It's totally
voluntary. This doesn't happen every day, but once in a while they'll
choose to help me to fold the clothes, clean the bathroom and they just
love to mop the floor.
There are plenty of times when they complain that I'm not available
because I'm doing something. And, of course, I feel guilty. I don't
know how to get rid of the guilt, even though I know it's not bad for
them to go through this. They, after all, have to learn how to
entertain themselves. This is one of the beauties of unschooling, I
think. Kids learn how to entertain themselves. For some, it comes
easier than others. I have twin boys. They are very different. One
requires so much more attention and entertaining than the other. I try
my best to keep everyone happy, including myself.
Mimi
On Wednesday, November 28, 2001, at 05:26 PM, sheran@... wrote:
> I've been feeling guilty because we have a ton of Christmas prep to
> do and if we're going to get it all finished, I've got to spend an
> awful lot of time on some necessary work. Some of the stuff is stuff
> the kids might not understand, like cleaning and organizing. For
> example, I had to spend a big chunk of the day organizing stuff in
> the living room to make room for the tree platform and cleaning out
> the attic to make room for furniture that we have to store there
> during Christmas. Other stuff is stuff they want to do but they're
> big projects which take prep time on my part (Christmas gift crafts
> they want to make for their grandparents, sewing bedding for dd's
> doll beds that she's getting for Christmas)
>
> The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
> I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
> get ready for Christmas.
>
> Does anyone else find that they don't always have time to do
> everything with their kids that the kids ask them to do? My kids are
> ages 8, 4, and 2.
>
> Sheila
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
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>
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>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/29/2001 12:11:54 AM !!!First Boot!!!,
groundhoggirl@... writes:
like to read X book, ds is splashing in the pool, the computer is off, the
heck with the housework . . . and they change their minds and go inside and
watch Pokemon or play a game together or something . . . just abandoning me
in my "together time" moment . . . which is OK most of the time because then
I get MY book and read outside which is nice . . . never mind . . .
Here's one for you -- I got to feel smug yesterday! Doesn't happen often and
I didn't even feel that way until after. I was talking with a Mom and she
was going a hundred miles an hour about schedules and "activities" and blah
blah blah and for once I felt actually mellow, compared to her! It hit me on
the drive home that the "activity" we were at was part of a very rushed day
for her -- but not for us!
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
groundhoggirl@... writes:
>I love the times when I get all set up in the back yard, dd thinks she might
> There are plenty of times when they complain that I'm not available
> because I'm doing something. And, of course, I feel guilty. I don't
> know how to get rid of the guilt, even though I know it's not bad for
> them to go through this. They, after all, have to learn how to
> entertain themselves. This is one of the beauties of unschooling, I
> think. Kids learn how to entertain themselves. For some, it comes
> easier than others. I have twin boys. They are very different. One
> requires so much more attention and entertaining than the other. I try
> my best to keep everyone happy, including myself.
>
> Mimi
>
like to read X book, ds is splashing in the pool, the computer is off, the
heck with the housework . . . and they change their minds and go inside and
watch Pokemon or play a game together or something . . . just abandoning me
in my "together time" moment . . . which is OK most of the time because then
I get MY book and read outside which is nice . . . never mind . . .
Here's one for you -- I got to feel smug yesterday! Doesn't happen often and
I didn't even feel that way until after. I was talking with a Mom and she
was going a hundred miles an hour about schedules and "activities" and blah
blah blah and for once I felt actually mellow, compared to her! It hit me on
the drive home that the "activity" we were at was part of a very rushed day
for her -- but not for us!
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karin Curtin
Sheila,
Maybe it's because my kids are older (8 & 10) that THEY are the ones pushing ME to get all this stuff done for Christmas.
They are so totally psyched about it. We are already completely decked out at our house. It was their constant pushing and insisting that made dh & I get off our butts and dig out Christmas stuff out of the attic, last Sat.
We were dragging our feet a little but they did not give up for a second.
There is a little more to do around here and I am still hearing the nagging to get it all done!
My kids have pretty much always been like this.
They help with all the rearranging and cleaning. They are so excited to Christmasize our house!
I know it would be harder to get things done with a 2 yo around, though.
Do your kids understand the reason why you have to divide your time a little, because it's Christmas time?
Maybe you could look at the calendar and promise them you will do ______ on this date, and try to stick to it.
Good luck.
Karin
Maybe it's because my kids are older (8 & 10) that THEY are the ones pushing ME to get all this stuff done for Christmas.
They are so totally psyched about it. We are already completely decked out at our house. It was their constant pushing and insisting that made dh & I get off our butts and dig out Christmas stuff out of the attic, last Sat.
We were dragging our feet a little but they did not give up for a second.
There is a little more to do around here and I am still hearing the nagging to get it all done!
My kids have pretty much always been like this.
They help with all the rearranging and cleaning. They are so excited to Christmasize our house!
I know it would be harder to get things done with a 2 yo around, though.
Do your kids understand the reason why you have to divide your time a little, because it's Christmas time?
Maybe you could look at the calendar and promise them you will do ______ on this date, and try to stick to it.
Good luck.
Karin
----- Original Message -----
From: sheran@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 4:26 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] finding time to do it all
I've been feeling guilty because we have a ton of Christmas prep to
do and if we're going to get it all finished, I've got to spend an
awful lot of time on some necessary work. Some of the stuff is stuff
the kids might not understand, like cleaning and organizing. For
example, I had to spend a big chunk of the day organizing stuff in
the living room to make room for the tree platform and cleaning out
the attic to make room for furniture that we have to store there
during Christmas. Other stuff is stuff they want to do but they're
big projects which take prep time on my part (Christmas gift crafts
they want to make for their grandparents, sewing bedding for dd's
doll beds that she's getting for Christmas)
The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
get ready for Christmas.
Does anyone else find that they don't always have time to do
everything with their kids that the kids ask them to do? My kids are
ages 8, 4, and 2.
Sheila
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http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kolleen
>Sheila writes:Sheila,
>The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
>I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
>get ready for Christmas.
Do you really HAVE to do those things for Christmas?
Explaining the choices that your children have will let them decide what
to do.
"I had planned to get Christmas stuff out so we won't have a naked house
for the holidays!
*oh my stars!!!*. We can do tha together or we can go with your
suggestion. Its your choice.
The 8 and 4 should understand enough to make an informed choice. The 2
will have to go with the democracy on this one.
If the Christmas decs are because YOU want them up there,
then get them out on YOUR time *cough* *smirk* *smile*
kolleen
Sarah Carothers
Sheila, sorry to tell you but even at my kids' ages of 15 and 11, I still have that problem, especially around holidays. Although I love holidays, it's always nice afterward to get back into a normal routine.
Sarah
ps... maybe your kids will cherish those moments when you *do * have time to curl up with them and a book after the holidays and find that "normal" days can be just as special as holidays...
Sarah
ps... maybe your kids will cherish those moments when you *do * have time to curl up with them and a book after the holidays and find that "normal" days can be just as special as holidays...
----- Original Message -----
From: sheran@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 6:26 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] finding time to do it all
I've been feeling guilty because we have a ton of Christmas prep to
do and if we're going to get it all finished, I've got to spend an
awful lot of time on some necessary work. Some of the stuff is stuff
the kids might not understand, like cleaning and organizing. For
example, I had to spend a big chunk of the day organizing stuff in
the living room to make room for the tree platform and cleaning out
the attic to make room for furniture that we have to store there
during Christmas. Other stuff is stuff they want to do but they're
big projects which take prep time on my part (Christmas gift crafts
they want to make for their grandparents, sewing bedding for dd's
doll beds that she's getting for Christmas)
The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
get ready for Christmas.
Does anyone else find that they don't always have time to do
everything with their kids that the kids ask them to do? My kids are
ages 8, 4, and 2.
Sheila
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
At 10:01 PM 28/11/01 -0500, you wrote:
from the frantic buy buy buy and busy busy busy of Christmas and spend more
time doing Christmasy things with Skye. And it's because that's what she
remembers the most fondly of her childhood Christmases. And I never
thought we did that much. She also told me that she remembers *every*
present I ever made for her. Definitely glowing after that conversation.
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
********************************************************************************************
It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy
>Sheila, sorry to tell you but even at my kids' ages of 15 and 11, I stillMy daughter was telling me just the other day that she wants to get away
>have that problem, especially around holidays. Although I love holidays,
>it's always nice afterward to get back into a normal routine.
>Sarah
>ps... maybe your kids will cherish those moments when you *do * have time
>to curl up with them and a book after the holidays and find that "normal"
>days can be just as special as holidays...
from the frantic buy buy buy and busy busy busy of Christmas and spend more
time doing Christmasy things with Skye. And it's because that's what she
remembers the most fondly of her childhood Christmases. And I never
thought we did that much. She also told me that she remembers *every*
present I ever made for her. Definitely glowing after that conversation.
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
********************************************************************************************
It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy
Fetteroll
on 11/28/01 6:26 PM, sheran@... at sheran@... wrote:
explain and ask "How does that fit in with your plans?" Then work out a
schedule of how you can both get your wants met. So, rather than setting
your children aside in order to get all the stuff done, make sure that
together time is built into the schedule. I think too often we tend to enter
projects with the attitude that it will take as long as it needs to take and
to kids that might as well be forever since they aren't getting any
confidence that there's a forseeable end point.
That won't be magical and they'll stop demanding you stop what you're doing
and do something with them, but it might help get a glimmer of the idea of
how to schedule time when there's an involved project.
any of it. This is something you *want* to do to create the type of
Christmas that you are envisioning.
But if the creation of Christmas is putting a strain on your relationship
with your family, then perhaps you can rethink some things that you want to
do. You may want a warm and cozy atmosphere for Christmas, but if getting to
it is an emotional hassle, then what pattern and memories is that
establishing for the kids?
Why don't you ask *them* how they'd like things to be for Christmas? Maybe
the things you think they'll find precious aren't all that important to
them. So putting in the effort to make it happen for them might be better
spent on playing a game. Perhaps you can do in the future when there older
and more capable of helping or entertaining themselves for long periods of
time.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,How about if you tell them "This is what I have planned for today." Then
> I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
> get ready for Christmas.
explain and ask "How does that fit in with your plans?" Then work out a
schedule of how you can both get your wants met. So, rather than setting
your children aside in order to get all the stuff done, make sure that
together time is built into the schedule. I think too often we tend to enter
projects with the attitude that it will take as long as it needs to take and
to kids that might as well be forever since they aren't getting any
confidence that there's a forseeable end point.
That won't be magical and they'll stop demanding you stop what you're doing
and do something with them, but it might help get a glimmer of the idea of
how to schedule time when there's an involved project.
> I've got to spend anAnd perhaps stop thinking of it in terms of "got to". You don't *have* to do
> awful lot of time on some necessary work.
any of it. This is something you *want* to do to create the type of
Christmas that you are envisioning.
But if the creation of Christmas is putting a strain on your relationship
with your family, then perhaps you can rethink some things that you want to
do. You may want a warm and cozy atmosphere for Christmas, but if getting to
it is an emotional hassle, then what pattern and memories is that
establishing for the kids?
Why don't you ask *them* how they'd like things to be for Christmas? Maybe
the things you think they'll find precious aren't all that important to
them. So putting in the effort to make it happen for them might be better
spent on playing a game. Perhaps you can do in the future when there older
and more capable of helping or entertaining themselves for long periods of
time.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/28/01 8:05:30 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
Kolleen@... writes:
and making stuff for around the house, for holidays or just everyday.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'll have plenty of time later to do
the 'Martha Stewart' thing. I still have this drive to have the 'perfect'
________ (holiday, house decor, etc.). But I have lots of memories of really
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kolleen@... writes:
> The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,I go back and forth with this one too. I love doing crafts and decorating
> >I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
> >get ready for Christmas
and making stuff for around the house, for holidays or just everyday.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'll have plenty of time later to do
the 'Martha Stewart' thing. I still have this drive to have the 'perfect'
________ (holiday, house decor, etc.). But I have lots of memories of really
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kolleen
>Brenda writes:Just for clarification, I did not write this. These things happen when
>Kolleen@... writes:
>
>
>> The guilt comes in because I'm finding myself telling the kids, "No,
>> >I just don't have time to do that today. I have to do ________ to
>> >get ready for Christmas
responsing sometimes.
Kolleen
Sarah Carothers
Brenda wrote:<But I have lots of memories of really
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
My youngest wants to build a Gingerbread house this year and has wanted to for several years now. I think I'd better get my act together and *do* it rather than worry about some other things that really aren't so impt.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
>>>>>>>>>>>oh, Brenda! :( I know what you mean and every year I promise it won't happen again yet it does. We must come up with the resolve to *not* get caught up in the cr*ppy part any longer or before we know it, our kids will be grown and gone!!!
My youngest wants to build a Gingerbread house this year and has wanted to for several years now. I think I'd better get my act together and *do* it rather than worry about some other things that really aren't so impt.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joseph Fuerst
We baked gingerbread last night.....hope to make royal icing tomorrow and
let the young 'uns build a gingerbread village!
I'm really trying to include the children in ornament making,
decorating...letting go of *my* desires to do what I want in some areas and
letting them enjoy what they come up with...
Susan, who may decide I need a few days off-line to accomodate family
activities!
Brenda wrote:<But I have lots of memories of really
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
again yet it does. We must come up with the resolve to *not* get caught up
in the cr*ppy part any longer or before we know it, our kids will be grown
and gone!!!
My youngest wants to build a Gingerbread house this year and has wanted to
for several years now. I think I'd better get my act together and *do* it
rather than worry about some other things that really aren't so impt.
Sarah
let the young 'uns build a gingerbread village!
I'm really trying to include the children in ornament making,
decorating...letting go of *my* desires to do what I want in some areas and
letting them enjoy what they come up with...
Susan, who may decide I need a few days off-line to accomodate family
activities!
Brenda wrote:<But I have lots of memories of really
stressful holidays with my own family. Everyone was too rushed and stressed
out to really enjoy the holiday. And by the time everyone could relax, the
holiday was over. We always missed the 'enjoying it' part.
Brenda
>>>>>>>>>>>oh, Brenda! :( I know what you mean and every year I promise it won't happen
again yet it does. We must come up with the resolve to *not* get caught up
in the cr*ppy part any longer or before we know it, our kids will be grown
and gone!!!
My youngest wants to build a Gingerbread house this year and has wanted to
for several years now. I think I'd better get my act together and *do* it
rather than worry about some other things that really aren't so impt.
Sarah