Re: consequences...was switch, cabbage, t-giving?
Joseph Fuerst
Mimi,
I have mostly skimmed this subject as I'm tryiong to catch up.....content
doesn't seem to match the subject line.
I agree with you on this, though I find it really difficult not to say it
at times.....OTOH, much more effective IMO to allow the consequences to
speak for themselves. Just last evening, my dd had two friends over. I
told them they neede to leave by XXXX time so that we could get dinner have
the evenings plans work out. (The plans were for dd to attend a program at
our local library). XXX time came, I said to dd and friends, it's xxx
time.....you agreed to go home and dd you will bea ble to do a,b,c and have
time to get to your program. Then I had to go finish dinner. I gave them
one more verbal cue. Well, 20 minutes later, thay were finally leaving.
Dinner was 15 minutes later and dd wasn't ready to leave on time. I was
able to remain detatched. After she was through being upset, we were able
to discuss how to make it work next time.
Susan
Subject: Re: Re: switch, cabbage, T-giving,etc
I don't believe they need to "hear that actions have consequences.... "
They can learn this just by experiencing the consequences. Just by the
fact that we lose control they are seeing and experiencing that we are
not perfect and only human. They are learning from this too. They
don't need to be told.
Mimi
I have mostly skimmed this subject as I'm tryiong to catch up.....content
doesn't seem to match the subject line.
I agree with you on this, though I find it really difficult not to say it
at times.....OTOH, much more effective IMO to allow the consequences to
speak for themselves. Just last evening, my dd had two friends over. I
told them they neede to leave by XXXX time so that we could get dinner have
the evenings plans work out. (The plans were for dd to attend a program at
our local library). XXX time came, I said to dd and friends, it's xxx
time.....you agreed to go home and dd you will bea ble to do a,b,c and have
time to get to your program. Then I had to go finish dinner. I gave them
one more verbal cue. Well, 20 minutes later, thay were finally leaving.
Dinner was 15 minutes later and dd wasn't ready to leave on time. I was
able to remain detatched. After she was through being upset, we were able
to discuss how to make it work next time.
Susan
Subject: Re: Re: switch, cabbage, T-giving,etc
I don't believe they need to "hear that actions have consequences.... "
They can learn this just by experiencing the consequences. Just by the
fact that we lose control they are seeing and experiencing that we are
not perfect and only human. They are learning from this too. They
don't need to be told.
Mimi