Re: control
meghan anderson
This sounds like my homelife and teenage years as
well. My mom was so laid back with me (I had almost no
rules or restrictions) but I rebelled BIG TIME (and
for quite a few years). I still don't know what
provoked all the anger in me at that time (hormones?
<bg>).
Meghan
there
could do.>>
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well. My mom was so laid back with me (I had almost no
rules or restrictions) but I rebelled BIG TIME (and
for quite a few years). I still don't know what
provoked all the anger in me at that time (hormones?
<bg>).
Meghan
>When I got towhat because
>the late teen stage I rebelled. I don't know against
there
>weren't any things to rebell against.<<Interesting. My parents were very liberal in what I
could do.>>
__________________________________________________
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Yahoo! GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just $8.95/month.
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Elsa Haas
Somebody recently (within the past year or so) wrote a book about why
teenagers take risks (drunk driving, dangerous drugs, out late at night in
dangerous places, etc.) The point was that teens need challenge, and if they
dont get real, worthwhile, grownup things to do, to test their skills and
inner resources against, and to use for finding their place in the world,
theyll settle for doing dumb, pointless, teenage stuff. Does anyone know
the name of the book? Would you recommend it?
John Holt also wrote something once (maybe in Instead of Education) about
why some alternative schools (back when alternative school meant a place
where kids were allowed more freedom than in most schools) seemed to harbor
fairly large numbers of angry, depressed, frustrated young people (not just
kids who were recovering form having been badly treated in traditional
schools, but kids who had spent their entire childhoods relatively free).
His conclusion was that, in a school where the kids are freed of the petty,
silly demands of tests and grades and homework and dress codes and proper
use of titles in addressing the adults and correct format for chapter
outlines and so on, at a certain age they cant help waking up to the fact
that they are basically here in a society and a world that often makes very
little sense and that most adults are doing little to try to change. In the
words of Paul Goodman (in a book by this title), they are growing up
absurd.
John wrote that this doesnt mean the alternative schools failed because
it wasnt really their job to turn out happy people. You allow kids to spend
early childhood stomping in mud puddles, throwing things up in the air,
reading the storybooks they like best and building whatever they want out of
Legos - and at some point that isnt enough anymore. They want to tackle
real problems.
Im thinking a lot about this lately because my husband and I are trying to
figure out a way for him to do something better with his life than be the
manager of a Manhattan consumer electronics store for a major corporation.
We had been thinking about this for a while, but the events of Sept. 11th
clinched it.
If my husband and I believe, as we do, that (for example) our wasteful use
of oil has something to do with the tensions and bloodshed connected to the
Middle East and, increasingly, other parts of the world, why are we not
doing something about it? The saddest thing about this society to me is that
so few adults do work they really believe in, and that contributes to
positive change, rather than just something to make a living.
How can teenagers not be upset to look around and see that this is true?
They are bombarded by urgent messages from the media about all that is
terrible in the world, and then they look around and see that their own
parents are doing nothing to change anything. If the kids are asked to help
at all, its in the form of penny drives (not to knock the charity, but it
doesnt tend to get at the roots of big problems). If you were a teen,
wouldnt all this make you feel like snapping and carping at your parents,
rebelling and picking fights over nothing?
I myself left home at 15 and, aside from the fact that we had a lot of
family problems, part of it was feeling that I was growing up absurd.
(Okay, so now the person who posted the original question about teenage
rebellion will probably respond that his/her parents were full-time
environmentalists/peace activists/alternative technology promoters, in an
organization that truly accomplished practical things, who always allowed
him/her to be involved in important volunteer work - and that will blow my
theory about his/her own disaffected youth!)
Anyway, if anyone has any leads on positive jobs for my husband, possibly in
alternative (solar, wind, fuel cell, etc.) energy, ethical investing or
microcredit, please email me privately. His experience is in retail and
computers but he has a degree in psychology, for what thats worth. We want
out of New York City, too.
I myself am busy with our two-year-old and with writing a book on attachment
parenting/the continuum concept, but could do something part-time to
supplement his pay (translating, interpreting, childcare, environmental ed,
teaching English as a second language, writing, editing).
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: meghan anderson [mailto:moonmeghan@...]
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2001 2:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: control
This sounds like my homelife and teenage years as
well. My mom was so laid back with me (I had almost no
rules or restrictions) but I rebelled BIG TIME (and
for quite a few years). I still don't know what
provoked all the anger in me at that time (hormones?
<bg>).
Meghan
there
could do.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
teenagers take risks (drunk driving, dangerous drugs, out late at night in
dangerous places, etc.) The point was that teens need challenge, and if they
dont get real, worthwhile, grownup things to do, to test their skills and
inner resources against, and to use for finding their place in the world,
theyll settle for doing dumb, pointless, teenage stuff. Does anyone know
the name of the book? Would you recommend it?
John Holt also wrote something once (maybe in Instead of Education) about
why some alternative schools (back when alternative school meant a place
where kids were allowed more freedom than in most schools) seemed to harbor
fairly large numbers of angry, depressed, frustrated young people (not just
kids who were recovering form having been badly treated in traditional
schools, but kids who had spent their entire childhoods relatively free).
His conclusion was that, in a school where the kids are freed of the petty,
silly demands of tests and grades and homework and dress codes and proper
use of titles in addressing the adults and correct format for chapter
outlines and so on, at a certain age they cant help waking up to the fact
that they are basically here in a society and a world that often makes very
little sense and that most adults are doing little to try to change. In the
words of Paul Goodman (in a book by this title), they are growing up
absurd.
John wrote that this doesnt mean the alternative schools failed because
it wasnt really their job to turn out happy people. You allow kids to spend
early childhood stomping in mud puddles, throwing things up in the air,
reading the storybooks they like best and building whatever they want out of
Legos - and at some point that isnt enough anymore. They want to tackle
real problems.
Im thinking a lot about this lately because my husband and I are trying to
figure out a way for him to do something better with his life than be the
manager of a Manhattan consumer electronics store for a major corporation.
We had been thinking about this for a while, but the events of Sept. 11th
clinched it.
If my husband and I believe, as we do, that (for example) our wasteful use
of oil has something to do with the tensions and bloodshed connected to the
Middle East and, increasingly, other parts of the world, why are we not
doing something about it? The saddest thing about this society to me is that
so few adults do work they really believe in, and that contributes to
positive change, rather than just something to make a living.
How can teenagers not be upset to look around and see that this is true?
They are bombarded by urgent messages from the media about all that is
terrible in the world, and then they look around and see that their own
parents are doing nothing to change anything. If the kids are asked to help
at all, its in the form of penny drives (not to knock the charity, but it
doesnt tend to get at the roots of big problems). If you were a teen,
wouldnt all this make you feel like snapping and carping at your parents,
rebelling and picking fights over nothing?
I myself left home at 15 and, aside from the fact that we had a lot of
family problems, part of it was feeling that I was growing up absurd.
(Okay, so now the person who posted the original question about teenage
rebellion will probably respond that his/her parents were full-time
environmentalists/peace activists/alternative technology promoters, in an
organization that truly accomplished practical things, who always allowed
him/her to be involved in important volunteer work - and that will blow my
theory about his/her own disaffected youth!)
Anyway, if anyone has any leads on positive jobs for my husband, possibly in
alternative (solar, wind, fuel cell, etc.) energy, ethical investing or
microcredit, please email me privately. His experience is in retail and
computers but he has a degree in psychology, for what thats worth. We want
out of New York City, too.
I myself am busy with our two-year-old and with writing a book on attachment
parenting/the continuum concept, but could do something part-time to
supplement his pay (translating, interpreting, childcare, environmental ed,
teaching English as a second language, writing, editing).
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: meghan anderson [mailto:moonmeghan@...]
Sent: Wednesday, November 21, 2001 2:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: control
This sounds like my homelife and teenage years as
well. My mom was so laid back with me (I had almost no
rules or restrictions) but I rebelled BIG TIME (and
for quite a few years). I still don't know what
provoked all the anger in me at that time (hormones?
<bg>).
Meghan
>When I got towhat because
>the late teen stage I rebelled. I don't know against
there
>weren't any things to rebell against.<<Interesting. My parents were very liberal in what I
could do.>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]