the value of self calming
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From what was marked Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1599
a great post by Julie/jnjstau@...
<< In both cases, the root cause was physical but the mental made all the
difference in my perception of the event how I handled it. >>
Holly has been hurt twice tonight. A friend's cat scratched her fairly badly
in three long lines, on her calf, through her jeans. She called crying and
said they were bringing her home, when she had called just shortly before
that all happy and saying she'd be home a few hours later. But she was calm
about it as soon as the pain quit, and she was attentive about antibiotics
and care of cat wounds.
Then she was playing with a balloon and somehow got something "big and sharp"
in her eye. She came upstairs to me saying "something really big is in my
eye and it really hurts." She was scared, but cooperative, and at one point
asked "Can I rub it, just a little?" I said sure, because I figured if it
was cutting her she'd stop. She pulled her own eyelid out, she lay down and
let me pour water on her eye so she could open it and let the water in. We
spent the whole time discussing what it might be (probably something from the
carpet that stuck to the balloon--probably a tiny piece of wood, as we were
splitting kindling by the fireplace last night).
Because we've taught them to calm themselves by breathing since they were
babies, she does it herself matter of factly. We neither freak out nor say
"You're fine" when they say they're hurt or scared or whatever. And the calm
and communication have always been a part of it.
I remember my own mom would want to totally take over and knock my hand away
from whatever she was doing, and tell me to be quiet. If a problem was
turned over to her it was HERS and no longer the kid's. I would have stopped
at any point Holly said stop. She knows what she can handle and what she
can't.
And other kids have been hurt here and not handled themselves or getting
assistance NEARLY that well. A cactus thorn in October was a huge ordeal for
a visiting little girl. I sympathized with her for the first fifteen minutes
or so of panic and "NO! NO! Don't touch it!" and then left it to my husband
who had more patience.
I have a ton of faith in my kids' good judgment and self-awareness.
Sandra
a great post by Julie/jnjstau@...
<< In both cases, the root cause was physical but the mental made all the
difference in my perception of the event how I handled it. >>
Holly has been hurt twice tonight. A friend's cat scratched her fairly badly
in three long lines, on her calf, through her jeans. She called crying and
said they were bringing her home, when she had called just shortly before
that all happy and saying she'd be home a few hours later. But she was calm
about it as soon as the pain quit, and she was attentive about antibiotics
and care of cat wounds.
Then she was playing with a balloon and somehow got something "big and sharp"
in her eye. She came upstairs to me saying "something really big is in my
eye and it really hurts." She was scared, but cooperative, and at one point
asked "Can I rub it, just a little?" I said sure, because I figured if it
was cutting her she'd stop. She pulled her own eyelid out, she lay down and
let me pour water on her eye so she could open it and let the water in. We
spent the whole time discussing what it might be (probably something from the
carpet that stuck to the balloon--probably a tiny piece of wood, as we were
splitting kindling by the fireplace last night).
Because we've taught them to calm themselves by breathing since they were
babies, she does it herself matter of factly. We neither freak out nor say
"You're fine" when they say they're hurt or scared or whatever. And the calm
and communication have always been a part of it.
I remember my own mom would want to totally take over and knock my hand away
from whatever she was doing, and tell me to be quiet. If a problem was
turned over to her it was HERS and no longer the kid's. I would have stopped
at any point Holly said stop. She knows what she can handle and what she
can't.
And other kids have been hurt here and not handled themselves or getting
assistance NEARLY that well. A cactus thorn in October was a huge ordeal for
a visiting little girl. I sympathized with her for the first fifteen minutes
or so of panic and "NO! NO! Don't touch it!" and then left it to my husband
who had more patience.
I have a ton of faith in my kids' good judgment and self-awareness.
Sandra