Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1579
Joseph Fuerst
Another look:
I have a daughter with vesicoureteral reflux who needed to avoid cafeine,
carbonated beverages, chocolate, and all citrus...oranges, tomatoes, etc.
In addition, she had bowel difficulties since birth that make it imperative
that she eat a high fiber diet. Should she simply follow her taste buds,
she could still get into trouble.....even a few days on a diet that doesn't
work for her could land her in the hospital with a kidney infection.
Also, alcoholics and substance abusers crave their addictive item......many
need the intervention of loved ones to turn themselves around. High sugar
consumption causes fluctuations in blood sugar that cause people to crave
sugar. The body can fool you. Some people seem to have a better sense of
their body and its needs than others...i.e., one of my children has always
taken a nap when she's tired of her own volition, the others fight their
tiredness through tantrums and grumbling...resisting their body's needs;
they require something from the adults in their lives to enable/encourage
them in discerning their bodies needs.
Look at it this way:
You believe your child knows what she needs to eat everyday and you let
her choose what and how much. She is fine and healthy but chooses to eat
things you detest - say Peanut butter and Garlic sandwiches. All is well
though and you can trust her to make her own choices because they are not
harming her and you have disassociated the taste from the health issue.
Now, suppose you daughter decides to eat nothing but celery. All celery
ever day. Absolutely nothing else. She has lost loads of weight and is
unhealthy. Can you still let her make her own choices regarding food?
When exactly is the right time to step in and do something?
The same holds true for every parenting issue. We need to learn and
observe and figure out when the right time to step in is. But no one can
say that there is NEVER a time to step in with any child. I do think
many people step in on too many issues because they can't disassociate
their own wants and needs from the childs wants and needs. But that does
not mean that it is NEVER right to step in.
Bridget
I have a daughter with vesicoureteral reflux who needed to avoid cafeine,
carbonated beverages, chocolate, and all citrus...oranges, tomatoes, etc.
In addition, she had bowel difficulties since birth that make it imperative
that she eat a high fiber diet. Should she simply follow her taste buds,
she could still get into trouble.....even a few days on a diet that doesn't
work for her could land her in the hospital with a kidney infection.
Also, alcoholics and substance abusers crave their addictive item......many
need the intervention of loved ones to turn themselves around. High sugar
consumption causes fluctuations in blood sugar that cause people to crave
sugar. The body can fool you. Some people seem to have a better sense of
their body and its needs than others...i.e., one of my children has always
taken a nap when she's tired of her own volition, the others fight their
tiredness through tantrums and grumbling...resisting their body's needs;
they require something from the adults in their lives to enable/encourage
them in discerning their bodies needs.
Look at it this way:
You believe your child knows what she needs to eat everyday and you let
her choose what and how much. She is fine and healthy but chooses to eat
things you detest - say Peanut butter and Garlic sandwiches. All is well
though and you can trust her to make her own choices because they are not
harming her and you have disassociated the taste from the health issue.
Now, suppose you daughter decides to eat nothing but celery. All celery
ever day. Absolutely nothing else. She has lost loads of weight and is
unhealthy. Can you still let her make her own choices regarding food?
When exactly is the right time to step in and do something?
The same holds true for every parenting issue. We need to learn and
observe and figure out when the right time to step in is. But no one can
say that there is NEVER a time to step in with any child. I do think
many people step in on too many issues because they can't disassociate
their own wants and needs from the childs wants and needs. But that does
not mean that it is NEVER right to step in.
Bridget
> > obviously understand that this is what is better for your
> daughter.
> > Just like another person would understanding that limiting or not
> > would best suit the child's needs. It's all a matter of
> > individualism. Bonnie
>
> But you're setting up a Catch-22 here. If I say I know best and so I
> make
> her do things or not do things, then you're right. If I say I think
> she
> knows best, then you say I must know best so if I think that then I
> must
> be right, and you're right again.
>
> My head spins, but maybe it's easier to take oit away from the
> personal,
> and say I think the child knows best...