Leslie

Hi Sandra and All,
I've been lurking on this list for a couple of months now and I'm enjoying many of the conversations. I always look forward to reading Sandra's posts and I appreciate the time she takes. When I hear you saying what I think, it makes even more sense to me. I've met very few people who are respectful of my relationship with my kids. Many feel that I'm shirking my responsibilities, and that I'm not giving them the tools they need for "Success", etc.... I've listened to what the Taking Children Seriously movement is talking about and although I think a lot of it is interesting and important, there's something missing for me in their philosophy. The method they use to communicate feels a little bizarre for me too, though I understand, that they're just trying to avoid what often happens on this list, when members feel personally judged.
It's interesting how they control the list and the way members communicate all the while claiming to believe in total free will. Anyway, I feel comfortable here and I'm looking forward to reading and contributing.

My kids also know the difference between good stuff and junk, not that I always agree! They know the difference between healthy food and junk food, feeling good and feeling sick. I can't count the times other children, who have not developed critical thinking skills of their own, come to our place and eat cookies, candy and Popsicles until their sick (when I think about it now I'm realizing that their parents probably blame me!), because they can't handle the responsibilities that come with the freedom to choose. My kids are all pretty good cooks too. My Dylan,11 makes a beautiful salad, Daisy 7 loves to bake and Sky 18 can cook anything from BBQed burgers to boeuf bourguignonne. Daisy has a sweet tooth but she knows enough to fill up with healthy stuff before she indulges etc... My kids don't go to school because they don't want to. They've all tried it, the oldest one has tried a couple of times and he's currently taking Culinary Arts 1 at a local college. Culinary arts and housekeeping are two of the main focuses of our home study program so I'm not surprised that he's choosing to sharpen these skills :~)

Leslie, new member from Don Mills, Ontario




----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2001 11:30 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Children and television



<< Do kids watch action because that's what programmers are

feeding them or because that's how they make sense of the world? >>

Or because the "non-action" dramas that some adults love are in NO way of
interest to kids? Why would a four year old boy watch Casablanca? It's
people talking. And they're talking about things that aren't even happening
onscreen. Comparing all the chick flicks, past and present, to all the
cartoons and saying "more violent" about cartoons is not scientifically
valid. It's comparing apples and 2x4's.

<< It's

kind of hard not to be aware of what a child is getting from TV when we are

living right beside them. Sometimes kids get scared. >>

A friend my age told me of sneaking up behind his dad's chair, when he was
little, and watching Frankenstein, the old Boris Karloff one, when it was on
TV one night. The dad said "GO TO BED." But he stayed and watched and it
scared him badly. He didn't know it from a news show.

Now his dad was a sadistic violent kind of guy, but IF (just if) since the
kid had already seen some of it, the dad (who was watching it) could have
invited said kid to sit on his lap, and he could have told him it was an all
made-up story, that no such thing could really happen, and talk about
movie-making and make-up, it could have been a really nice session between
them, and the fright would have dissipated.

The model of a school kid zoning out in front of a TV for five hours and then
not having studied his social studies which in turn inconveniences his
teacher is a world away from my kids watching The Tick with me, and
discussing literary references, or parodies of other movies and characters.

The report of the ideas of teachers about the effects of TV ring like
duct-tape bells. I see my own kids, and others I know, who can turn the TV
on when they want, and I see them turning it off as often as they turn it on.
I see them learning, and asking intelligent questions, and NOT being average
or lowest common denominator kinds of people, but interesting, thoughtful,
funny, bright people. They live without shame and fear, while some other
families who hope to save their children from some incidental fears or ill
effects of TV do themselves bring shame and fear into the family situation.

My kids aren't getting shame and fear from me, and neither are they getting
it from the TV. I'm not having to be dishonest about the horrors and evils
of TV, I'm not having to shame them for even having thought to have wanted
some of it.

Yes there's some junk on TV. There's junk at the candy counter too. There's
junk in books too. There's junk on the internet too. My kids don't dig
through the trash, they don't hunt up junk, they don't eat crap. WHY?
Because it's not good. Given a choice between something good and something
stupid, why would they choose "stupid"? (Although when the Simpsons had
Judge Judy jokes this week, Marty was able to tell me which parts indicated
Judge Judy which ways, because I haven't seen her but he has.)

Sandra
----------------------------------------------------



Sandra

"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd

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