Bridget E Coffman

>
> I don't limit the t.v. I limit the shows that the children watch. I
> don't like them watching rugrats or cartoons all day (since we have
> seen all the shows a million times anyway). Some shows are
> great...the children learn ALOT from them. Some people learn more in
> this way, than in reading. BUt everyone is different!!
>
> SHAWN

I suspect if I had cable with better channels, Wyndham would not watch
any of the shows that irritate me so because he would watch science stuff
instead. BUT I don't necessarily think one is all good and the other all
evil.

Bridget

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it
goes on.
- Robert Frost

Bridget E Coffman

You know, I think I see a fundamental problem with this discussion that I
didn't see until now. When I or someone else says, "I need to do
something because TV seems to be having very destructive effects on my
child." Many of you answer as if we said, "TV watching is bad for
children." (The quote I included with my post is what caused the thought
to gel - I saw the words "our children" and realized that some of you
discuss these things as if there is a sameness to our children.)

I didn't come to the conclusion that I need to limit my son's TV because
I read studies about Alpha Waves - I haven't looked at them. I didn't
make decisions based on a book by a child psychologist (or several books)
- I don't read them. I didn't make the decision based on what I think
other parents around me were doing - peer pressure never was an issue for
me. I saw a problem in my family, analyzed it, discovered it stemmed
from obsessive TV watching and I did something about it. I don't believe
Pokemon is evil, I don't think you should have to limit YOUR child
because of an effect on mine.

I do think though, that I may have something to offer to another mom who
says, "My son gets violent when he watches TV all day." And my advice is
not going to be turn it off entirely. It may help others to know they
are not alone. I can offer anecdotal evidence of how I handled it with a
caution that her experience may vary. I can offer my support in whatever
she decides about the issue. But, what I won't do, is criticize her
thought that maybe the TV is bad for her son - because only she is there.
Only she really sees if there is a cause and effect. It would be
arrogant of any of us to assume she is less able to judge the situation
than we are.

Bridget

>
> Standing by and watching our children "waste" their time with
> activity that we perceive/know will lead to negative outcomes is as
> difficult with grown children/people as it is with young ones who we
> have "control" over. The difference is that an older child/person
> might, at some point, insist on their autonomy being respected and
> will spend their time with those they perceive as respecting them.
> The little ones feel shame and anger but it takes them sometime to
> learn what to do with it. They are totally dependent on our
> benevolence and they know it. I've see the fear in my children's
> eyes more times than I'd like to admit. They don't know what a
> parents love feels like, they truly fear that my feelings could
> change and I might reject them. I nursed them all until they were 4
> or 5, they sleep with us in our family bed until they decide they
> want more privacy, we remind them that their home is with us and for
> as long as we're alive we'll share all that we have, and still, I
> see that fear in their innocent faces when I push them or show them
> my disapproval.
>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it
goes on.
- Robert Frost