Bridget E Coffman

Lynda,

This was very well put. I've avoided posting here because I have too
much going on, am in too much pain and am too worried and moody to get
into another discussion. But while I have a minute . . .

. . . The good news is, after a long and concerted effort here, Wyndham
is finally learning to police his own TV watching. He has finally taken
some control for himself and it is great. We still have to monitor a
little bit and force the issue occassionally, but those times are
becoming fewer and far between. What do I think changed things? One
reason is a friend who does not watch much TV at all. He saw by example
how much stuff there is to do. And Two, the constant control by his
guardians allowed him to see that he could do all that stuff at home too.
We didn't limit TV a lot. In fact I think he probably watches more than
anyone else in the family still, but he does get away from it on his own
occassionally too. So there are signs of hope, hope that he will get the
obsession under control himself.

. . . We are walking talking evidence that everyone does not respond to
the same things in the same ways. My girls have never had nor needed to
have their TV limited. In 6 1/2 years, we've no organized schoolwork - I
just gave them books and workbooks and took them places (Museums and
science centers are not "schoolwork" they are somethig we all do for
fun.) This year for the first time we have set up some real structure
to the family jobs and they did ask for some changes to it and got them.
Sorry, I drifted there. Anyway, they are now taking a chem class with a
group of homeschoolers (yes they wanted too) and they are doing just as
well as the others who have had much more structure through the years.

. . . Tara, the only encouragement I can offer is to tell you to trust
your own feelings. If you think your child needs help turning of the
tube, then give it. Don't get upset and yell even if you are being
yelled at, don't lie about it - but disconnect it if you have to and most
importantly, be consistent and upfront about it. Figure out what he
WANTS to watch and make sure he gets to see those shows. A big part of
the problem with Wyndham was that he didn't know when his shows were
going to be on, so now we go through the guide and show him and promise
to remind him.

Bridget

> Message: 3
> Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2001 09:01:32 -0800
> From: "Lynda" <lurine@...>
> Subject: Re: Deschooling-video games
>
> I've been reading this thread and kept my mouth shut but there seems
to be a
> very big misconception. One size does NOT fit all. Yes, some parents
don't
> wait long enough to see if their children "deschool," however, not all
> activities have anything to do with deschooling.
>
> If a child sits for hours and hours in front of the boob tube, video
games
> or other venues which can be (please, before folks jump on their high
> horses, read what I wrote "can" be, not "are") mindless unactivities,
does
> NOT mean they are deschooling nor does it mean they will stop doing
this at
> some point and move on to other activities.
>
> The fallacy of using a label such as "deschooling" is that some
children who
> have never been to school nor have they ever been in an environment
that was
> controlling will still sit like mindless little bloob in front of the
tube.
>
> Everyone (an inclusive word including children) is an individual and
the
> important thing is to discover and encourage that individuality to the
best
> of the parents ability. Sometimes parents must make choices for their
> children because in that INDIVIDUAL child's case, they cannot or will
not
> make choices that are good for them.
>
> Youngest kidlet is one who does not stop. She has no self regulating
> "button" that tells her when she is tired and NEEDS sleep. She goes
on and
> on and one until she literally makes herself sick, physically sick.
When
> she was little she had a bedtime. Now that she is older we have
discussed
> this and when she is beyond tired, I tell her to go look at what she
calls
> her "saggy, baggy" tired eyes and then she takes herself off to bed.
>
> The is no such thing as "A" definition of unschooling, nor is there
any one,
> single "correct" way of doing it. Sometimes folks forget that the
whole
> idea of unschooling is to allow a child to be an individual AND that
> sometimes, some adult help is needed.
>
> So, Tara, here is your encouragement and the pat on the back that needs
to
> be handed out more frequently. All steps toward unschooling are good
steps,
> even baby steps and even when one sometimes takes one step backwards
as long
> as one's next steps are a vigorous forward!
>
> Lynda

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it
goes on.
- Robert Frost