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Sandra, thank you so much for posting that!

Your style of writing is so direct and easy to understand. I went to al-anon
for awhile and never heard about the reparenting thing, but it's sort of what
I've been doing! I had never heard of it before so it's so validating to hear
about it. I just sorta figured that as my son grows, I'll be reminded and put
in touch with all the yucky stuff from my own childhood, at each age and
step. And taking different routes and making different choices is healing for
me, and gives me great confidence that I'm not repeating the pattern onto my
own child.

I have also found that I do repeat my own patterns unless I'm being
conscious. I cannot make different choices if I'm not actively working on my
issues, and while I'm giving my son everything I can, he's giving me more
than I ever dreamed.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you and share a bit. I'm not that great at
articulating my own thoughts and process so hope it makes sense.

I also wanted to add that al-anon produces lots of literature. You can attend
one meeting and take a few books home with no pressure. I have two little day
by day books that I read from time to time. Esp. the 'courage to change'
book. While I'm no longer in psycho relationships, ideas like detachment from
outcomes, gratitude, self-love, etc. are always good reminders.

I also learned a lot from a book called 'It could never happen to me" by
Claudia Black. Really outlined the different routes of behavior taken by
children in homes with addiction, from the unproductive addict to the super
achiever workaholic.

Brenda


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