[email protected]

In a message dated 09/20/2001 11:57:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:


> Given an unlimited
> amount of money she's "rescue" every cat stuffed animal she came across. Not
> to play with but to rescue from not being owned. (There's a big TV size box
> overflowing with *just* cats and that's not counting the Beanies.) (And yes
> she has real cats, 2 kittens, and we're fostering a mom and 5 kittens for
> the shelter.) There's a Beanie Baby cat bought over the weekend that was
> carried around for a day and now sits abandoned on my computer desk.
>
> If she were focused on one thing, that would be fine. There are 5 big boxes
> of stuffed animals. (Lots of handmedowns, gifts, yard sales so not all full
> priced.) Pokemon cards. Beanies. (I could go on.) She "rescues" pens run
> over by cars. (She says she loves living next to the high school because you
> can find so many pens! ;-) Rocks. Soda bottles. Bottle caps. (I could go on
> with this too.) She is mildly interested in collecting, as in gathering
> things together to admire their likenesses and differences, but right now
> the primary drive is just to get stuff into the house and away from being
> "lost" in the greater world.
>
> (Probably a psychologist would have field day with this, thinking she was
> playing out feelings of fear of abandonment or something. But I do
> understand the feelings that prompt it because I had the same feelings as a
> child, and well into adulthood. She personifies *everything*. Everything,
> even rusty springs and perhaps even candy wrappers (that she won't throw
> away but will allow me to though perhaps she feels a twinge ;-), has a soul
> that needs someone to care for it. Which is really sweet! But expensive and
> a storage nightmare ;-)
>
> She wants things she can interact with. Furbies, robots, Gigapets, video
> games but very few of them come close to meeting the need she's trying to
> meet. What she *really* wants is a holodeck ;-) And all the money in the
> world spent on things that are sort of like that won't be satisfying.
>
> And, yes, she has friends. But what she needs from friends is fellow actors
> in her fantasies. It's a rare kid who can fulfill that and she has only 4
> who meet that and none are close by. There's one girl in town who plays
> Pokemon and video games and they have loads of fun when they're playing and
> she always declares she's going to play with her more often, but doesn't
> feel like playing when I ask if she'd like to call. And she doesn't know
> why.
>
> The only thing that comes close to being satisfying are her imaginary
> friends and writing and drawing comic books so it's fortunate her artistic
> talent allows that to be as satisfying for her as it is.
>
> So that's where we're coming from. I'm usually too self-centered to see my
> own situation clearly, and really can only understand me when I can tell
> someone else where they're going wrong in the same situation ;-) Any ideas?
>

Joyce, I have to tell you that your daughter sounds charming and wonderful!
It sounds like the usual math pages, and things like that are too concrete
for this magical child. There must be ways of feeding into her rich fantasy
life to get math concepts, etc....I am not a mathematician, but maybe some of
the more advanced stuff would be more interesting to her than boring old
arithmetic.

Would your daughter enjoy some little faeries? I make these fun little
faeries, and would love to send her some.

I have a twelve year old son who still plays with his tribes of Beanies, and
has 17 squirrels living in his curly hair. (Actually, right now, eleven of
them are just making it to base camp to prepare for a summit attempt on
Everest.) I have conversations with many of the squirrels, as does my
partner. There is much speaking in interesting voices in this house. Julian's
squirrels (also a badger, and a few others) are very real, and the magic of
Julian is that you can absolutely believe in the squirrels AND not question
his (or your own) sanity. The sanity of some of these animals is
questionable, however...there's a badger that thinks it's a squirrel, a
squirrel that thinks it's a pigeon...many of these poor critters seem to have
some sort of benign mental illness.

Julian also is obsessed with rubber bands. He has a fantasy of someday
getting a job at Staples so he can enjoy the employee discount. It's an
interesting approach to collecting, because if we ever actually NEED a rubber
band he's quite generous with them. (If anyone has a plethora of rubber bands
in their home that they'd like to get rid of, I know a kid who would be
ecstatic to receive them.)

Sometimes when I picture this kid in middle school, I sigh in relief that we
discovered homeschooling before it became an issue.

Kathryn, who figures that when you have one of these wierd kids it's best to
lighten up and go along for the ride.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rachel Wolfe Ravenhart

Thanks for sharing this, y'all. My Ansley talks to EVERYTHING. In fact,
the only time he isn't talking is when he's asleep. He's always trying
to pull me into his fantasy worlds. I think next time, I'll go...

Rachel Ravenhart
Warrior bitch, kitchen witch, celtic mommy type person with an attitude

KathrynJB@... wrote:

> Sometimes when I picture this kid in middle school, I sigh in relief
> that we
> discovered homeschooling before it became an issue.
>
> Kathryn, who figures that when you have one of these wierd kids it's
> best to
> lighten up and go along for the ride.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> > So that's where we're coming from. I'm usually too self-centered
> to see my
> > own situation clearly, and really can only understand me when I
> can tell
> > someone else where they're going wrong in the same situation ;-)
> Any ideas?

I have one of these kids too. I always thought it was normal. <g>
For three months his left arm has been a dragon who must be politely
asked before performing any tasks. "Would you please help me brush my
hair?"
We often set the table for guests we never see and who are not human.
He rescues everything, especially dryer sheets and six pack rings.
He has the richest, most colorful imagination of anyone I know and I
think he's perfect.

I agree with Kathryn, your daughter sounds charming!
And your son too, Kathryn! Squirrels! I love this!
I think we're very lucky.
Deb L