An actual question about.....unschooling! LOL
[email protected]
As I have been reading the posts of the last week debating unschooling, I
have to come realize that I really DIDN"T understand what unschooling is.
Now I think I have a better idea but I still dont know how to do it - or not
do it. You see, my son is this year in 6th grade and this is our first year
homeschooling. But I have been trying to research for the past year or so
and really felt that unschooling is the way I want to go. Well, so far, we
havent done anything and he is so bored. He basically watches TV the entire
day and occasionally takes apart a model car and reworks it. And he asks me
a lot when am I going to start "teaching him anything". Through the debates
of the past week or so, I would start to catch a glimpse of what unschooling
is but then I dont seem to know how to "start". Part of the problem is my
own entrenched thoughts about school. Also, our local homeschool group is SO
school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I find myself tending to
be really anxious and look for
a curriculum. What am I missing? Is unschooling so simple that I am
stumbling over it? Help!
Thanks
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have to come realize that I really DIDN"T understand what unschooling is.
Now I think I have a better idea but I still dont know how to do it - or not
do it. You see, my son is this year in 6th grade and this is our first year
homeschooling. But I have been trying to research for the past year or so
and really felt that unschooling is the way I want to go. Well, so far, we
havent done anything and he is so bored. He basically watches TV the entire
day and occasionally takes apart a model car and reworks it. And he asks me
a lot when am I going to start "teaching him anything". Through the debates
of the past week or so, I would start to catch a glimpse of what unschooling
is but then I dont seem to know how to "start". Part of the problem is my
own entrenched thoughts about school. Also, our local homeschool group is SO
school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I find myself tending to
be really anxious and look for
a curriculum. What am I missing? Is unschooling so simple that I am
stumbling over it? Help!
Thanks
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 9:31:39 PM !!!First Boot!!!, mfinc81642@...
writes:
grade is about 11-12 years old in real life, right? Seems old enough to have
an idea or two.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> And he asks meIs there anything in particular he has suggested he would enjoy doing? 6th
>
grade is about 11-12 years old in real life, right? Seems old enough to have
an idea or two.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Through the debates
It probably took me a good 2 years before I really "got" it. Even
though I "got" it, in concept immediately.(did that make sense?)
anyway, maybe you're like me, and bits and pieces will flow through
you, while reading on unschooling.com, or John Holt books, or
articles about unschooling.... and one day you get that "ah ha"
moment that was discussed earlier. I did have a boost in my
unschooling progress when I started actually posting my thoughts and
getting responses.
For now, just appreciate the freedom you have with your son, and talk
to him openly about his feelings and yours, and you can't go wrong.
Joanna
> of the past week or so, I would start to catch a glimpse of whatunschooling
> is but then I dont seem to know how to "start". Part of theproblem is my
> own entrenched thoughts about school. Also, our local homeschoolgroup is SO
> school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I find myselftending to
> be really anxious and look foram
> a curriculum. What am I missing? Is unschooling so simple that I
> stumbling over it? Help!For me, I just had to keep reading and questioning.
> Thanks
> Julie
It probably took me a good 2 years before I really "got" it. Even
though I "got" it, in concept immediately.(did that make sense?)
anyway, maybe you're like me, and bits and pieces will flow through
you, while reading on unschooling.com, or John Holt books, or
articles about unschooling.... and one day you get that "ah ha"
moment that was discussed earlier. I did have a boost in my
unschooling progress when I started actually posting my thoughts and
getting responses.
For now, just appreciate the freedom you have with your son, and talk
to him openly about his feelings and yours, and you can't go wrong.
Joanna
[email protected]
I don't often post here, I tend to enjoy my "lurker" status. But what Julie
has written really hit close to home with me.
Julie writes:
As I have been reading the posts of the last week debating unschooling, I
have to come realize that I really DIDN"T understand what unschooling is.
Now I think I have a better idea but I still dont know how to do it - or not
do it.
We have been homeschooling for a year and a half. I too researched and
thought everything through. I read all the Homeschooling Handbook type books,
I read the Unschooling books. I *thought* I had a good grasp on what
everything was going to be like. MY kids were going to build amazing things
out of all I would have available to them. They would read, NO they would
Devour books with heart and soul! They would use the TV as a tool to
facilitate their desire to know more about the Inuit or the Amazon Rain
Forest. I would have little seekers of knowledge, children who would be
constantly amazing me and showing their Dad how cool this concept really is!
Instead here is how things truly are; My son decided this summer he wanted to
go to school! CAN YOU IMAGINE??? what? he wants to go to school? all this
tumbling around in my mind. But since I wanted my theory of choice in
education to work, I knew I couldn't be a hypocrite, I had to allow him that
choice! Now off he goes with his little backpack to the neighborhood
kindergarten, every morning at 8:10 returning at 3:45. Well! I say to myself,
this gives me hours everyday to spend with my daughter, who I just know will
love all the wonderful boxes of *stuff she can dig through, she will spend
hours with her nose in a book, we will have discussions galore, trips around
town.... Ahhh blessed reality! My wonderfully talented daughter, she started
talking at 9 months, she walked at 10 months, she read at 3, tied her shoes
at 3 1/2.... She wants to know when she can go outside to swing, how much
longer she has to read this book, and "MOOMMMMmm, what am *I supposed to do
with all this junk?" Goodness! I say, read as much of that book as you
like... do what ever you want with all that... AND ITS NOT JUNK! and you can
play outside all you want! She just stares at me, and asks "when are you
going to teach me something?"
Also, our local homeschool group is SO
school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I find myself tending to
be really anxious and look for
a curriculum. What am I missing? Is unschooling so simple that I am
stumbling over it? Help!
Thanks
Julie
I feel exactly the same about my husband as you do about your homeschooling
group! I too feel I must be missing something, how could anything so simple
be so darn complicated? Julie, you struck a chord with me, I know where you
are coming from. I think to myself, have I failed, did I not understand the
concept? How come it works for everyone else?
Thanks for putting up with my ramble!
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
has written really hit close to home with me.
Julie writes:
As I have been reading the posts of the last week debating unschooling, I
have to come realize that I really DIDN"T understand what unschooling is.
Now I think I have a better idea but I still dont know how to do it - or not
do it.
We have been homeschooling for a year and a half. I too researched and
thought everything through. I read all the Homeschooling Handbook type books,
I read the Unschooling books. I *thought* I had a good grasp on what
everything was going to be like. MY kids were going to build amazing things
out of all I would have available to them. They would read, NO they would
Devour books with heart and soul! They would use the TV as a tool to
facilitate their desire to know more about the Inuit or the Amazon Rain
Forest. I would have little seekers of knowledge, children who would be
constantly amazing me and showing their Dad how cool this concept really is!
Instead here is how things truly are; My son decided this summer he wanted to
go to school! CAN YOU IMAGINE??? what? he wants to go to school? all this
tumbling around in my mind. But since I wanted my theory of choice in
education to work, I knew I couldn't be a hypocrite, I had to allow him that
choice! Now off he goes with his little backpack to the neighborhood
kindergarten, every morning at 8:10 returning at 3:45. Well! I say to myself,
this gives me hours everyday to spend with my daughter, who I just know will
love all the wonderful boxes of *stuff she can dig through, she will spend
hours with her nose in a book, we will have discussions galore, trips around
town.... Ahhh blessed reality! My wonderfully talented daughter, she started
talking at 9 months, she walked at 10 months, she read at 3, tied her shoes
at 3 1/2.... She wants to know when she can go outside to swing, how much
longer she has to read this book, and "MOOMMMMmm, what am *I supposed to do
with all this junk?" Goodness! I say, read as much of that book as you
like... do what ever you want with all that... AND ITS NOT JUNK! and you can
play outside all you want! She just stares at me, and asks "when are you
going to teach me something?"
Also, our local homeschool group is SO
school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I find myself tending to
be really anxious and look for
a curriculum. What am I missing? Is unschooling so simple that I am
stumbling over it? Help!
Thanks
Julie
I feel exactly the same about my husband as you do about your homeschooling
group! I too feel I must be missing something, how could anything so simple
be so darn complicated? Julie, you struck a chord with me, I know where you
are coming from. I think to myself, have I failed, did I not understand the
concept? How come it works for everyone else?
Thanks for putting up with my ramble!
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/14/01 3:31:40 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
mfinc81642@... writes:
movies so he can watch videos while he takes cars apart. Get more model cars.
Go places. Out to lunch at ethnic restaurants. To the mall. To the
country/mountains/shore/desert, whatever is around you that's "out."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mfinc81642@... writes:
> Well, so far, weIf he's been in school for six years, he'll need months to get over it. Rent
> havent done anything and he is so bored.
movies so he can watch videos while he takes cars apart. Get more model cars.
Go places. Out to lunch at ethnic restaurants. To the mall. To the
country/mountains/shore/desert, whatever is around you that's "out."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 6:19:14 PM Central Daylight Time,
marbleface@... writes:
what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has gone no
further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learn while he
does? I hope I dont sound like a moron but I am not used to thinking out of
the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marbleface@... writes:
> Is there anything in particular he has suggested he would enjoy doing? 6thYes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics! So,
> grade is about 11-12 years old in real life, right?
what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has gone no
further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learn while he
does? I hope I dont sound like a moron but I am not used to thinking out of
the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 6:58:09 PM Central Daylight Time,
Wilkinson6@... writes:
I had kind of felt that is what I need to do (relax) and I am also glad to
hear that you dont feel that you "got" it right away either. Gives me
confidence to keep going.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wilkinson6@... writes:
> For now, just appreciate the freedom you have with your son, and talkThanks Joanna-
> to him openly about his feelings and yours, and you can't go wrong.
>
I had kind of felt that is what I need to do (relax) and I am also glad to
hear that you dont feel that you "got" it right away either. Gives me
confidence to keep going.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/15/2001 12:54:22 AM !!!First Boot!!!,
mfinc81642@... writes:
things if I have too -- even helped replace an engine once -- but to actually
build something from scratch . . . hmmmm ....
I think, if it were me and I wanted to follow up, I would try to find
somebody to show me how to do these things -- the right tools, etc. Is there
a hobby shop nearby? A car club of some sort? Don't they have those things?
I dunno. But if you kept looking, you might find someone who could show
your son the ropes or at least let him hang out. Hey, maybe the local auto
repair place is friendly??
Maybe others here can suggest community outlets they have used??
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mfinc81642@... writes:
> Is there anything in particular he has suggested he would enjoy doing? 6thGosh -- I dunno! I know where the tools are around here and can fix minor
> > grade is about 11-12 years old in real life, right?
>
> Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics! So,
> what do I do?
things if I have too -- even helped replace an engine once -- but to actually
build something from scratch . . . hmmmm ....
I think, if it were me and I wanted to follow up, I would try to find
somebody to show me how to do these things -- the right tools, etc. Is there
a hobby shop nearby? A car club of some sort? Don't they have those things?
I dunno. But if you kept looking, you might find someone who could show
your son the ropes or at least let him hang out. Hey, maybe the local auto
repair place is friendly??
Maybe others here can suggest community outlets they have used??
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 7:50:09 PM Central Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
that I have that schooled mentality as well. I also have an older daughter
who is a junior in high school but will not even consider unschooling. I
also have a 2 year old and I hope I unlearn a lot as well as learn a lot more
so that his road will be different. Anyway, thanks for the input - it will
definitely help!
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> If he's been in school for six years, he'll need months to get over it.Excellent! Now why couldnt I think of that stuff? I guess the reality is
> Rent
> movies so he can watch videos while he takes cars apart. Get more model
> cars.
>
>
that I have that schooled mentality as well. I also have an older daughter
who is a junior in high school but will not even consider unschooling. I
also have a 2 year old and I hope I unlearn a lot as well as learn a lot more
so that his road will be different. Anyway, thanks for the input - it will
definitely help!
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 8:22:40 PM Central Daylight Time,
OZMOM504@... writes:
gotten some really good ideas here tonight though and I think I will just
post a question every time I get stumped - which I have a feeling, will be
often. I really believe my problem is in the letting go and having faith that
he will learn. And I am the type of person who has to "see" something in
action before I get it and I sure dont see any other unschoolers in my day
to day life. I guess though that we can get advice from those who have
already been where we are going and we will get there too. Wont we? : )
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
OZMOM504@... writes:
> . I think to myself, have I failed, did I not understand theWell, that makes two of us Nancy. Your post sounds exactly like me. I have
> concept? How come it works for everyone else?
>
gotten some really good ideas here tonight though and I think I will just
post a question every time I get stumped - which I have a feeling, will be
often. I really believe my problem is in the letting go and having faith that
he will learn. And I am the type of person who has to "see" something in
action before I get it and I sure dont see any other unschoolers in my day
to day life. I guess though that we can get advice from those who have
already been where we are going and we will get there too. Wont we? : )
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dawn
Julie and Nancy I felt the same last year so I put him back in
Kindergarten. I think I was being too hard on myself and not letting
go and seeing what happened on a day to day basis. I also only knew
of one unschooling person and her kids were much older than mine, so
I did think I was very much alone. This time I really made a
concerted effort to join the local homeschooling group and seek out
other unschoolers. I also joined a Moms group and found an
unschooling mother there with 2 kids the same age as mine. Now I
have to slow down and not try and do everything in one day. I think
that's the hardest thing for me, just letting go of the outcome.
Dawn
Kindergarten. I think I was being too hard on myself and not letting
go and seeing what happened on a day to day basis. I also only knew
of one unschooling person and her kids were much older than mine, so
I did think I was very much alone. This time I really made a
concerted effort to join the local homeschooling group and seek out
other unschoolers. I also joined a Moms group and found an
unschooling mother there with 2 kids the same age as mine. Now I
have to slow down and not try and do everything in one day. I think
that's the hardest thing for me, just letting go of the outcome.
Dawn
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., mfinc81642@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 09/14/2001 8:22:40 PM Central Daylight Time,
> OZMOM504@A... writes:
>
>
> > . I think to myself, have I failed, did I not understand the
> > concept? How come it works for everyone else?
> >
>
> Well, that makes two of us Nancy. Your post sounds exactly like me.
I have
> gotten some really good ideas here tonight though and I think I
will just
> post a question every time I get stumped - which I have a feeling,
will be
> often. I really believe my problem is in the letting go and having
faith that
> he will learn. And I am the type of person who has to "see"
something in
> action before I get it and I sure dont see any other unschoolers
in my day
> to day life. I guess though that we can get advice from those who
have
> already been where we are going and we will get there too. Wont
we? : )
> Julie
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/14/01 6:54:20 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
mfinc81642@... writes:
of those) and just look at what's there. Help him find patterns online for
benches and suchlike, or planters/flower-boxes.
Find some pine scraps (or buy some 1x10 or something, and cut some pieces he
can work on, and some chisels and a malet. He could goof around with carving
even inside the house. And the pieces he carves could be worked into boxes
and used, soon.
There are library books galore on woodworking projects, and don't forget to
look at historical pieces---maybe a trip to an antique shop or 2nd hand
furniture store, just to look at dovetail joints in old chests of drawers,
etc.
Do you have a book to go with your car? Do you have more than one car, maybe
one that could use having its spark plugs changed or something actually truly
useful he could do? But a repair manual for your car would be great--he
could read and look at the real thing, and hear the real thing.
Do you have friends who fix cars? Insurance won't let him hang out in a big
repair shop (not a chain, anyway--maybe a filling station one, or private
shop), but maybe he could start hearing stories.
There are online car-repair sites and discussions and question/answer places.
Using google.com or some other websearch engine would find you lots of
things he could start looking at.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mfinc81642@... writes:
> Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics! So,Go to a woodworker's supply place (or look online or order a catalog or all
> what do I do?
of those) and just look at what's there. Help him find patterns online for
benches and suchlike, or planters/flower-boxes.
Find some pine scraps (or buy some 1x10 or something, and cut some pieces he
can work on, and some chisels and a malet. He could goof around with carving
even inside the house. And the pieces he carves could be worked into boxes
and used, soon.
There are library books galore on woodworking projects, and don't forget to
look at historical pieces---maybe a trip to an antique shop or 2nd hand
furniture store, just to look at dovetail joints in old chests of drawers,
etc.
Do you have a book to go with your car? Do you have more than one car, maybe
one that could use having its spark plugs changed or something actually truly
useful he could do? But a repair manual for your car would be great--he
could read and look at the real thing, and hear the real thing.
Do you have friends who fix cars? Insurance won't let him hang out in a big
repair shop (not a chain, anyway--maybe a filling station one, or private
shop), but maybe he could start hearing stories.
There are online car-repair sites and discussions and question/answer places.
Using google.com or some other websearch engine would find you lots of
things he could start looking at.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/14/01 8:40:21 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
you picked a town and a neighborhood and getting him there was your goal,
that would be kind of like what some homeschoolers want. They want to see
their child in a master's degree program (sometimes they know which college)
or medical or law school, they have a scholarship in mind that had gotten
them through undergraduate school, they want him married to a blonde woman,
oh at least 5' 7" and going to church regularly.
That leave a HECK of a margin for error!! Change by one degree anywhere
along there and he ends in the "failure" zone.
If, on the other hand, you say "I don't know what he will be doing, but I
hope he is confident, unharmed by pressures and un-shamed by his parents,
that will give you clear goals to accomplish TODAY, which will lead toward
that goal of giving him a strong, loving, peaceful base from which he can
grow in any and all directions.
You don't know what your child will need to know in 2012, but if he has a
peaceful week full of stimulating sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures
and is surrounded by patient sweetness, he's a step closer to whatever it is.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
NumoAstro@... writes:
> . I thinkIf you decided today where you wanted your child to live in 25 years, like
> that's the hardest thing for me, just letting go of the outcome.
>
you picked a town and a neighborhood and getting him there was your goal,
that would be kind of like what some homeschoolers want. They want to see
their child in a master's degree program (sometimes they know which college)
or medical or law school, they have a scholarship in mind that had gotten
them through undergraduate school, they want him married to a blonde woman,
oh at least 5' 7" and going to church regularly.
That leave a HECK of a margin for error!! Change by one degree anywhere
along there and he ends in the "failure" zone.
If, on the other hand, you say "I don't know what he will be doing, but I
hope he is confident, unharmed by pressures and un-shamed by his parents,
that will give you clear goals to accomplish TODAY, which will lead toward
that goal of giving him a strong, loving, peaceful base from which he can
grow in any and all directions.
You don't know what your child will need to know in 2012, but if he has a
peaceful week full of stimulating sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures
and is surrounded by patient sweetness, he's a step closer to whatever it is.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/14/2001 9:40:20 PM Central Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
Thank you so much for your post. I needed to hear that not everyone just took
to unschooling right off the bat. I mean, I do in theory but putting it in
practice.....though with all the ideas yall (sorry, from Texas) have come up
with, I am getting really excited. I think Justin will be too. : )
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
NumoAstro@... writes:
> . I thinkDawn,
> that's the hardest thing for me, just letting go of the outcome.
>
>
Thank you so much for your post. I needed to hear that not everyone just took
to unschooling right off the bat. I mean, I do in theory but putting it in
practice.....though with all the ideas yall (sorry, from Texas) have come up
with, I am getting really excited. I think Justin will be too. : )
Julie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fetteroll
on 9/14/01 7:17 PM, mfinc81642@... wrote:
mind, "No, we can't do that, it's not educational," "Yes, we should do that
but he'd just say it's boring."
So do "not-educational" things that he enjoys even if it's monster truck
pulls ;-)
And share things you enjoy (avoiding the things you think are more on the
order of things that would be good for him - at least until you can feel
confident that you're sharing as you would a friend and not because he's not
complete enough.) Maybe that's key. Treat him as a friend rather than a
project.
And turn off the little voice in your head that says "He's only got 6 more
years." Let that be an indefinite period. Give him the freedom to go to
college or work at 25. And he'll prepare himself when it's natural for *him*
to prepare himself.
told and the education system will take him where he needs to go. Pulling
that rug out from under him and telling him it's now his responsibility is
going to be frightening to him.
He needs to rediscover what he's interested in, to value those interests and
trust that exploring those things will allow him to go wherever he wants.
That takes time and freedom.
Joyce
> Well, so far, we havent done anything and he is so bored.So the answer is do something :-) Yes, you're probably checking off in your
mind, "No, we can't do that, it's not educational," "Yes, we should do that
but he'd just say it's boring."
So do "not-educational" things that he enjoys even if it's monster truck
pulls ;-)
And share things you enjoy (avoiding the things you think are more on the
order of things that would be good for him - at least until you can feel
confident that you're sharing as you would a friend and not because he's not
complete enough.) Maybe that's key. Treat him as a friend rather than a
project.
And turn off the little voice in your head that says "He's only got 6 more
years." Let that be an indefinite period. Give him the freedom to go to
college or work at 25. And he'll prepare himself when it's natural for *him*
to prepare himself.
> And he asks me a lot when am I going to start "teaching him anything".He's been told for years that all he has to do is sit back and do what he's
told and the education system will take him where he needs to go. Pulling
that rug out from under him and telling him it's now his responsibility is
going to be frightening to him.
He needs to rediscover what he's interested in, to value those interests and
trust that exploring those things will allow him to go wherever he wants.
That takes time and freedom.
Joyce
[email protected]
Julie each day I learn to let go of something else. I know that each
time I open my mouth to say something to either of my kids I start to
think about how much control I'm trying to have over them. It's such
a balancing act between getting my needs met and my kids needs met as
well. I read with interest the whole thing about bedtimes here
recently and started to let Zak go to bed when he wanted which was
9:30pm. What I noticed was: he woke up earlier the next day and was
a nightmare to deal with all day, jumping on furniture, pushing his
baby brother over, crying at the drop of a hat; appearing to be over-
stimulated; not listening to simple requests. Plus I was exhausted
because I had no time on my own or with DH without Zak. So the next
2 nights we put him to bed the time he would usually go, and he slept
longer and was in a much better mood the next day. So DH and I
talked about how this unschooling thing is wonderful yet I don't have
to do everything that everyone suggests. I can pick and choose what
I want. Their education is completely unschooling based and child
led, but my parenting is not and I'm ok with that. I need to have
some sanity. Maybe that will change in the years to come and as I
move forward more in this unschooling process. For today it's what
it is.
Dawn
time I open my mouth to say something to either of my kids I start to
think about how much control I'm trying to have over them. It's such
a balancing act between getting my needs met and my kids needs met as
well. I read with interest the whole thing about bedtimes here
recently and started to let Zak go to bed when he wanted which was
9:30pm. What I noticed was: he woke up earlier the next day and was
a nightmare to deal with all day, jumping on furniture, pushing his
baby brother over, crying at the drop of a hat; appearing to be over-
stimulated; not listening to simple requests. Plus I was exhausted
because I had no time on my own or with DH without Zak. So the next
2 nights we put him to bed the time he would usually go, and he slept
longer and was in a much better mood the next day. So DH and I
talked about how this unschooling thing is wonderful yet I don't have
to do everything that everyone suggests. I can pick and choose what
I want. Their education is completely unschooling based and child
led, but my parenting is not and I'm ok with that. I need to have
some sanity. Maybe that will change in the years to come and as I
move forward more in this unschooling process. For today it's what
it is.
Dawn
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., mfinc81642@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 09/14/2001 9:40:20 PM Central Daylight Time,
> NumoAstro@a... writes:
>
>
> > . I think
> > that's the hardest thing for me, just letting go of the outcome.
> >
> >
>
> Dawn,
> Thank you so much for your post. I needed to hear that not everyone
just took
> to unschooling right off the bat. I mean, I do in theory but
putting it in
> practice.....though with all the ideas yall (sorry, from Texas)
have come up
> with, I am getting really excited. I think Justin will be too. : )
> Julie
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
another Philosypher
<Well, so far, we
here before as having helped others are... Get out. Go
do something different, go to a place where you've
never gone before. Volunteer, go play.
When he's watching TV join him. Let the housework
slide for awhile and just be with you son.
reading email lists that are very curriculum oriented.
I finally just unsubscribed from them. The amount of
good info and tips I was getting didn't out way the
doubts I had creeping in. It might be hard at first,
but you might want to consider not going to the
homeschool group. If it's the only source of outside
friends for your ds, see if a few of them can come
over to your place instead. We often 'import' friends
for my two.
=====
Learn from others, but go to your own school
Joy in NM
Homeschooling mom of two
Michael Alexander 16 yo
Kenna Rose 13 yo
Married 17 years to Scott
__________________________________________________
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> haven't done anything and he is so bored. HeSome tips that have helped me and have been posted
> basically watches TV the entire
> day and occasionally takes apart a model car and
> reworks it. >>
here before as having helped others are... Get out. Go
do something different, go to a place where you've
never gone before. Volunteer, go play.
When he's watching TV join him. Let the housework
slide for awhile and just be with you son.
> Part of the problem is myI tend to do that also when I spend too much time
> own entrenched thoughts about school. Also, our
> local homeschool group is SO
> school-at-home oriented and when I go around them, I
> find myself tending to
> be really anxious and look for
> a curriculum.
reading email lists that are very curriculum oriented.
I finally just unsubscribed from them. The amount of
good info and tips I was getting didn't out way the
doubts I had creeping in. It might be hard at first,
but you might want to consider not going to the
homeschool group. If it's the only source of outside
friends for your ds, see if a few of them can come
over to your place instead. We often 'import' friends
for my two.
=====
Learn from others, but go to your own school
Joy in NM
Homeschooling mom of two
Michael Alexander 16 yo
Kenna Rose 13 yo
Married 17 years to Scott
__________________________________________________
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Tia Leschke
>I was a committed unschooler from before I started. That didn't stop me
>Dawn,
>Thank you so much for your post. I needed to hear that not everyone just took
>to unschooling right off the bat. I mean, I do in theory but putting it in
>practice.....
from getting freaked out and making my 12 year old learn to read because
he had gone beyond my comfort zone. It didn't stop me from insisting that
my 13 year old do some reading, writing, and math every day. But it did
bring me back to my senses each time and get me back to trusting my kid to
learn what he needs when he needs it. I won't say I'll never slip back
into fear again, but I'm certainly trying not to.
I appreciate the TV discussion, for instance. As a result of it, I'm
working on turning my mind around on the idea that TV is just a big time
sink for my son, and I've stopped trying to get him to watch less. I'm
planning to watch for programs and search the library video collection for
things that might interest him.
One thing that's been a real problem for me with unschooling is my own low
self-esteem (much of which happened in ps). After being turned down many
times when I've offered projects, etc. that I thought might interest him, I
gradually stopped offering. I think this probably contributed to my
frustrations over the years with a kid who didn't *seem* to be interested
in anything. I would say to anyone contemplating unschooling to work on
your own self-esteem.
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
********************************************************************************************
It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy
Dan Vilter
>> Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics! So,Yes you do need to get in there, try stuff and learn to *give it value.*
>> what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has gone no
>> further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learn while he
>> does? I hope I dont sound like a moron but I am not used to thinking out of
>> the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.
>> Julie
You don¹t have to do or know it all though. These are two great subjects.
Start at what ever level you are comfortable with. Find a project that has
a real connection and value to both of your lives. It can (and probably
should) be as simple as ³building² a door stop (a single piece of wood cut
into a wedgie) that has real function in your home. This simple project is
ripe with understanding of: layout, manipulation of raw material,
physical/spatial interaction, how wood cutting tools function (where does
all that saw dust come from anyway?), and if you care to-wood finishes.
<<<<<<<<< Warning >>>>>>>>> the rest of this post goes into a me me me post
the kind of which I often hate reading. It has a point though <g> Skip to
the last paragraph if you can't bear it.
I was blessed with a father who had only the most rudimentary understanding
of these two subjects. Wood working started for me with projects no more
complicated than trimming the bottom of doors to fit over the new carpet. I
went on to build simple boxes that my mom just loved (and which she still
does). And passing my parent¹s abilities, to build cabinetry in my teen
years. My auto mechanics abilities started by maintaining the fluid levels
in the cars and changing a radiator hose. And I slowly gained greater
understanding as starters, alternators and water pumps needed replacement
with the knowledge gained from neighbors and the guys at the auto parts
store. I was lucky enough to have a mentor in the form of a neighbor with 3
kids and 5 cars that always needed repairs (the cars, not the kids) my
head was always welcome under any of those hoods. Don¹t underestimate
finding and developing a relationship with a good auto parts store either.
35 years later a significant, enjoyable, part of my professional life
involves woodworking. And I shake my head when a friend pays $50 to have a
$5 thermostat replaced. It¹s hard to describe the pride and satisfaction
returning the engine I have repaired to my car and having it motor our
family about town, just as its designers intended. Or to visit my folks and
see the cabinets that I built still house the first dishwasher they ever
owned.
If you¹d mentioned electronics instead of woodworking and auto mechanics,
I¹d tell you about how my dad, who didn¹t know much about those new fangled
transistors, started buying me those little kits from Radio Shack when I was
10 years old. And how that lead to my parents spending what was for them a
*huge* amount of money to buy a HeathKit Television set for me to assemble
when I was 15 years old (I was in heaven!) The trust in my abilities and
the growth in my self esteem represented by that event stays with me to this
day.
Keep mind that it is possible to douse the fire of a budding interest by
dumping *too much* stuff, information etc. on it. As a kid I was so thirsty
for these experiences and knowledge-I asked for and sought out these
activities. You want to open the possibilities and nurture, not smother.
This seems much easier to keep in check when you're learning and discovering
side by side. Today my son and I are learning about microprocessors because
of his continued interest in robotics. (again I am in heaven!)
All of these abilities of mine grew out of some excellent parenting. Even
though I attended public school, my folks never let it interfere with my
learning by supplying the opportunity, resources, love and support, and
value for the things I wanted to do and know about. They bristle when I
tell them that they were homeschoolers and didn¹t know it.<g>
-Dan Vilter
Sharon Rudd
> > Is there anything in particular he has suggested...................................................
> he would enjoy doing? 6th
> > > grade is about 11-12 years old in real life,
> right?
> >
> > Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop
> and auto mechanics! So,
> > what do I do?
One I my DS (age about 9 mo.)first (hand-eye
coordination, spacial relationship, etc.) toys was a
distributor cap and spark plug wires. My idea.
Cleaned 'em up first.
Things he can really do:
Does he have a bicycle? It needs maintenance.
Mechanical, real, maintenance.
He can top off the water in the radiator add
antifreeze. He should know that it is poison and how
to store and dispose of it and which critters are
likely to consume it and how. He can check the oil,
and add new....make sure he knows what kind to put in.
he can check the tire air pressure and make sure it is
at an optimum level. He can learn what all of the
dash board stuff is for. He can make sure you have
speakers that work in the interior of the vehicle. he
can learn to change a tire and make sure that there
are the right tools and a good spare available in the
vehicle.......
He can fix a lawn mower. He can build a go cart. He
can rebuild a small (3 or 5 hrs power) motor....and
attach it to something like a go-cart or ?
Household
He can change the propane bottles when you show him
how.
He can plan and cook almost anything and clean up from
it.
He can help make sure you always have all that is
needed for disaster preparedness that is appropriate
to your area...
He can build shelves and tables and benches and
picture frames and well, anything that his imagination
will encompass and he can get hold of the materials
for....or improvise...
Tools probably he already know swhat he wants, but
here are a few........hammer, nails, hand saw, pocket
knife, flat head and Phillip's head screw drivers,
utility scissors, wire cutter, wrenches,
c clamps,....from there you can get really elaborate.
When the boys needed good tools we found some sets at
pawn shops. Good tools can be really expensive, but
best get good, real, ones so you don't have to replace
them so many times.
Have fun...it is GREAT to have a DS who does things.
It is SO helpful. You are so lucky to have a DS who
wants to do that stuff. I was blessed with four such
sons.
Sharon oh, and there is lots more I forgot to
mention, birdhouses, bat houses, radios,..........
__________________________________________________
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[email protected]
Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics!
So,
what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has gone no
further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learn
while he
does? I hope I don't sound like a moron but I am not used to thinking
out of
the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.
Julie
Maybe you could find an auto junk yard where you could find parts,
transmissions, fuel pumps, whatever, inexpensively, find a repair manual
and let him go. Maybe the man/woman at the junk yard could use someone
to pull parts off old cars when a customer needed them. Or something,
maybe?
When my little boy wanted to build things out of wood we soon discovered
it was really hard for him to use the hand saw to cut through a 2 by 4.
We went to the local mill and found "stickers". They are thin, about
1/4 in. boards about 4-5ft long and easy to saw with a hand saw. They
are used between lumber when stacking. The mills usually just burn or
chip them. My son made tool boxes, bird feeders, bird houses, all kinds
of things. They are rough and need sanding but are good for wood burning
projects too.
They wouldn't work well for book shelves and the like but if you're
looking for a place to start, the mills usually don't charge for them.
Deb L
So,
what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has gone no
further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learn
while he
does? I hope I don't sound like a moron but I am not used to thinking
out of
the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.
Julie
Maybe you could find an auto junk yard where you could find parts,
transmissions, fuel pumps, whatever, inexpensively, find a repair manual
and let him go. Maybe the man/woman at the junk yard could use someone
to pull parts off old cars when a customer needed them. Or something,
maybe?
When my little boy wanted to build things out of wood we soon discovered
it was really hard for him to use the hand saw to cut through a 2 by 4.
We went to the local mill and found "stickers". They are thin, about
1/4 in. boards about 4-5ft long and easy to saw with a hand saw. They
are used between lumber when stacking. The mills usually just burn or
chip them. My son made tool boxes, bird feeders, bird houses, all kinds
of things. They are rough and need sanding but are good for wood burning
projects too.
They wouldn't work well for book shelves and the like but if you're
looking for a place to start, the mills usually don't charge for them.
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/15/2001 4:25:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
bearspawprint@... writes:
Here's one more thought:
My Mom (are you sick of hearing about her yet??) volunteers at the local elem
school and one thing she does is bring home things that need to be fixed.
She strips, repaints, replaces screws and brackets, adds decorative touches,
etc.
They love it!!!!!!!! She volunteers for one 1st grade teacher and now the
other teachers are bringing her projects to do for them.
Anyway, maybe not a school, maybe a school, I don't know -- but maybe there
would be someplace by you that could use a volunteer handyman or Mr. Fixit --
one little thing at a time as skills are learned??
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bearspawprint@... writes:
> Things he can really do:Good list!
>
Here's one more thought:
My Mom (are you sick of hearing about her yet??) volunteers at the local elem
school and one thing she does is bring home things that need to be fixed.
She strips, repaints, replaces screws and brackets, adds decorative touches,
etc.
They love it!!!!!!!! She volunteers for one 1st grade teacher and now the
other teachers are bringing her projects to do for them.
Anyway, maybe not a school, maybe a school, I don't know -- but maybe there
would be someplace by you that could use a volunteer handyman or Mr. Fixit --
one little thing at a time as skills are learned??
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
another Philosypher
>Here's a link to a wonderful woodworking message
> Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop
> and auto mechanics! So,
> what do I do?
board.
http://www.forums.woodnet.net/
Build something useful to your home. For me it would
be a step stool. For you it might be a bird house or a
shelf.
Find someone, a friend, a neighbor, and see if they
will let your son hangout. Stand outside on a Saturday
morning and listen for a saw. Then go knock on the
door.
One of the great things about unschooling for me has
been unschooling myself. It took a few years of
deschooling first, getting all that school mentality
out, and I still fall back into it every once in a
while. Then I noticed how many things I did for myself
because I enjoyed it that the kids joined in on. The
more I relaxed, the more the kids popped their heads
out of their turtle shells. I think they were at first
afraid to stretch themselves for fear I would return
to "school at home mommy."
Oh my how we've grown.
=====
Learn from others, but go to your own school
Joy in NM
Homeschooling mom of two
Michael Alexander 16 yo
Kenna Rose 13 yo
Married 17 years to Scott
__________________________________________________
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Sharon Rudd
Dear Deb L. Thanks for idea and info....
Sharon
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Sharon
> When my little boy wanted to build things out of__________________________________________________
> wood we soon discovered
> it was really hard for him to use the hand saw to
> cut through a 2 by 4.
> We went to the local mill and found "stickers".
> They are thin, about
> 1/4 in. boards about 4-5ft long and easy to saw
> with a hand saw. They
> are used between lumber when stacking. The mills
> usually just burn or
> chip them. My son made tool boxes, bird feeders,
> bird houses, all kinds
> of things. They are rough and need sanding but are
> good for wood burning
> projects too.
> They wouldn't work well for book shelves and the
> like but if you're
> looking for a place to start, the mills usually
> don't charge for them.
> Deb L
>
Terrorist Attacks on U.S. - How can you help?
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Tia Leschke
>Elderly neighbour? Single mother?
>Anyway, maybe not a school, maybe a school, I don't know -- but maybe there
>would be someplace by you that could use a volunteer handyman or Mr. Fixit --
>one little thing at a time as skills are learned??
Tia
Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
********************************************************************************************
It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy
[email protected]
> Yes, he has been asking me to teach him wood shop and auto mechanics!So,
> what do I do? He has checked out books from the library but has goneno
> further. Do I get in there with him and try to build stuff and learnwhile he
> does? I hope I don't sound like a moron but I am not used to thinkingout of
> the box yet. Not as regards this anyway.Another thought about this, the Home Depot has kids wood working classes
> Julie
every second? Saturday of the month. If you live near one of those. The
classes are free, but you pay for materials. It's not too expensive and
they build things like bat houses, etc.
Maybe other lumber yards or home improvement places do too?
Also, you might want to call around to the universities and art galleries
and museums and get on their mailing list for kid's programs. These are
usually just in the summer though. If there is a hobby shop in your
town, maybe they have a bulletin board where different clubs put up
info. We found a great rock hounding club this way.
I would look in the yellow pages and call cabinet makers, furniture
repair places, etc.
It couldn't hurt.
I went through this with flute making ( of all things ) and we finally
did find someone who made Native American flutes. My son is trying to
make one now out of PVC pipe!
Who knows?
Deb L
[email protected]
On Sat, 15 Sep 2001 10:54:17 -0700 Tia Leschke <leschke@...>
writes:
learned to tell time.
He had two or three shows he just had to see and I wasn't always faithful
about reminding him of the time. He figured it out entirely on his own
when he was eight.
Deb L
writes:
> I appreciate the TV discussion, for instance.I forgot all about this during the TV discussion, but that's how my son
learned to tell time.
He had two or three shows he just had to see and I wasn't always faithful
about reminding him of the time. He figured it out entirely on his own
when he was eight.
Deb L
[email protected]
On Fri, 14 Sep 2001 22:57:39 EDT SandraDodd@... writes:
If, on the other hand, you say "I don't know what he will be doing, but
I
hope he is confident, unharmed by pressures and un-shamed by his
parents,
that will give you clear goals to accomplish TODAY, which will lead
toward
that goal of giving him a strong, loving, peaceful base from which he
can
grow in any and all directions.
Sandra
Lovely words, thank you Sandra.
Deb L
If, on the other hand, you say "I don't know what he will be doing, but
I
hope he is confident, unharmed by pressures and un-shamed by his
parents,
that will give you clear goals to accomplish TODAY, which will lead
toward
that goal of giving him a strong, loving, peaceful base from which he
can
grow in any and all directions.
Sandra
Lovely words, thank you Sandra.
Deb L
Jessi
We have 3 baby Cockatiels that were born this past week :o) Mom is feeding
them and everything even though she was a hand-fed baby. I still cannot
believe how small they are when they start out! Just little tiny balls of
yellow fluff...
Jessi
<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
~ Roger Lewin ~
<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
them and everything even though she was a hand-fed baby. I still cannot
believe how small they are when they start out! Just little tiny balls of
yellow fluff...
Jessi
<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
~ Roger Lewin ~
<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
Sharon Rudd
Awwwww....do you have both parents? Does Papa stay in
the same (cage?) with the Mama and Babies? Do you have
a nesting box? How do you set that up? Do the parents
have to grow up together? Or can a stranger bird be
introduced? We have one female cockatiel. I am
constantly surprised at how much personality she has.
She is a really sweet bird.
Sharon
--- Jessi <mistycal@...> wrote:
Terrorist Attacks on U.S. - How can you help?
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the same (cage?) with the Mama and Babies? Do you have
a nesting box? How do you set that up? Do the parents
have to grow up together? Or can a stranger bird be
introduced? We have one female cockatiel. I am
constantly surprised at how much personality she has.
She is a really sweet bird.
Sharon
--- Jessi <mistycal@...> wrote:
>__________________________________________________
>
> We have 3 baby Cockatiels that were born this past
> week :o) Mom is feeding
> them and everything even though she was a hand-fed
> baby. I still cannot
> believe how small they are when they start out!
> Just little tiny balls of
> yellow fluff...
>
> Jessi
>
>
>
> <<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
> Too often we give children answers to remember
> rather than problems to solve.
> ~ Roger Lewin ~
> <<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**<<**
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Terrorist Attacks on U.S. - How can you help?
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