Annette Naake

I think Sandra went too far with the following. It comes across as a
personal attack, not only on what Bridget does, but on Bridget herself and
even her children. Bridget's posts and the subsequent list discussion have
given me lots to think about. I am sure that whater her view of unschooling,
which we can debate (and have debated) ad infinitum, she is doing her best
as a parent for the children she loves. That is my assumption about everyone
here, and in fact about parents in general.

Sandra's posts, too, often give me a lot to think about, but now I'm
basically thinking about how absurdly judgmental she is. Also, I don't think
Sandra is in much of a position to criticize others for spending a lot of
time on line. Not that there's anything wrong with being on line.

Sandra, you said recently you're here to talk about unschooling, not to
socialize. Nevertheless, if you wish not just to talk, but to be heard,
you'll need to resort to a few social skills.

Annette





Message: 4
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 12:20:21 EDT
From: SandraDodd@...
Subject: Re: Digest Number 1450

You have a depressed child and a child picking at himself and watching TV,
and still you reject all suggestions here to get them happier, get them out
and do things with them?

<< I also told her she needs to work on getting either
her cursive or her printing legible. DOesn't matter which but needs to
be readable by more than me. >>

<< Now, if
Rachel doesn't do ANYTHING, housework, cleaning or production (another
story) then she may get her world jiggled. She will slip into some
unhealthy depression patterns and sometimes needs a little push to get
readjusted.>>

I would be depressed too.

Your writing here isn't indicating any attention to your kids, and other
than
depriving them and medicating them, you haven't shown or told us how you're
helping them feel light and happy.

Questions about why you're on this list are going unanswered. I'm concerned
that you're using it as a way to justify your methods of parenting while, at
each moment you're here writing, NOT parenting, not being with your kids.

If you want our help, it's here, it has been before, and it will be in the
future.

If you neither want nor need any help, and since your descriptions are not
unschooling-compatible, of what use is this list to you?

Sandra




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> Sandra, you said recently you're here to talk about unschooling, not
to
> socialize. Nevertheless, if you wish not just to talk, but to be
heard,
> you'll need to resort to a few social skills.
> Annette

Bridget is free to speak frankly here and has done so. As have many
others. Sandra should not be the exception.

Sandra, I realize you don't need anyones approval but I enjoy your input.
I'll expect an ass kicking when I have it coming. <g> ( could be any
minute now )

I am wondering if we're not all overly sensitive to some comments
because we've already been picked at so much by so many for our
educational choices. Maybe educational choice equals parenting and then
it feels like a personal attack?
But if we're only looking for total agreement in our ponderings most of
us could just talk with our partners. Support is wonderful but
shouldn't it be support for good stuff?
Anyone here has a right to spank or use time out or whatever, but should
those opposed have to say, " It's ok dear, we know you're doing what you
feel is best." ?
( look ma, no Satan ) No judgment intended here, I'm just asking. Do
we come here just to be coddled or are we hoping to learn something about
ourselves and the truth and therefore, unschooling. My son has
everything to lose if I can't get it right.
Deb L

simpsons

ok enough is enough, obviously you need to come and get to know Bridget to understand her and her parenting skills she has not gone into great details for you because she obviously felt the conversation was about the problems each child has, however I know from personal experience that her children are very happy well adjusted children they come to my house frequently with her, they are not locked up they read tons of great stuff and can discuss it in great detail with great enthusiasm, they socialize well with all ages and her son is different he is very intelligent and spews some really strange information at times but is a very pleasant child who does need to be redirected many times he does get an idea in his head and hold onto it forever like wanting a rootbeer when he wants one he will just continuously ask over and over and over almost as if he had never asked in the first place, and she is not depriving him of anything he just has some serious allergy problems which prevent him from being able to digest stuff like that to frequently!
I am so tired of the attacks on her, I have never seen her require anything of her children at all ,
Bridget I have to say has one of the greatest most open adult type relationships with her children of anyone I know she truly respects her children and their choices she encourages them to be themselves and to learn new things and to share them with others!
so I suggest rather than making a personal attack on her you should take the time to get to know who she is and what she is about!
I wouldn't trade her as a friend for anything in the world!
Tanya


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bridget E Coffman

On Wed, 12 Sep 2001 05:43:05 -0600 ddzimlew@... writes:
>
> Bridget is free to speak frankly here and has done so. As have many
> others. Sandra should not be the exception.

Speaking frankly is a lot different from attacking a family personally
which Sandra did with her last post to me which came in at a time that I
needed to spend with my family. I read it and deleted it yesterday
morning and spent most of the day with my kids and some of their friends.
Just because I deleted it does not mean it went away though.

Here is my most interesting thought about it: My entire family has
inherited genes that predispose us to certain psychological problems. Of
all my children only one has ended up in a psych ward (and more than
once). Which child? The one I gave up and who was being raised by
parents that went through screening and such. They were and are great
parents but they had no idea what to do to help Amy. The fact that I
have kept the three I have from self-destructing seems to me at least to
be a major accomplishment. And with that last post, Sandra lost any
respect I had for her. Until then, I felt she had the right to speak her
mind and if we didn't agree that was fine, but when she essentially
called me a bad mother and the cause of my children's problems, well, she
lost me. I am no longer listening to her. Oh sure, I'll read her posts
but it is with an attitude of, "So what, she types before she knows
whereof she speaks."

Bridget

PS - Brenda's attack on my family ran a close second here. I probably
have a pretty strong view of her now too.


~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat

[email protected]

In a message dated 09/12/2001 12:05:49 PM !!!First Boot!!!, ddzimlew@...
writes:


> No judgment intended here, I'm just asking. Do
>


There is plenty of room between judgemental and coddling attitudes.

Nance



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]