Janet F Hamlin

NewI beg to differ. It is indeed unschooling. There is no curriculum and
they select what to do and when as long as it meets my basic standards of
HOW MUCH. For example, they have to write (physically) a certain amount
each week. They choose what and when. If they want to write jokes or a
term paper it's fine by me as long as they write something. These
'rules' have come about because THEY asked for it.

If they wanted the "rules" and later decide not to comply with "rules" that
THEY asked for, why are there consequences to that? Maybe they feel that
they don't need the rules? Maybe what prompted setting the rules isn't
important to them anymore?

My daughter tells me constantly that she has "rules" for her candy treats
(those she gets from parties, halloween, Christmas stocking, trip to the
store, etc) like "I'm only going to eat one piece a day until my birthday,
'cause then I'll get more." I don't feel a need to impose a consequence if
she suddenly decides to eat the whole lot of it.

I understand that your kids are older and want to set some educational goals
for themselves. But their motivation has to come from within to achieve
those, not from rules they set for themselves that are enforced by
consequences from you.

Having them meet "your basic standards" in their learning is not what is
meant by the term unschooling. You sound like a very relaxed homeschooler
and a good parent.

Sometimes people on this list carry the unschooling concept over into
parenting, whereas others are totally unschooling in the learning department
but have other family standards (set bedtimes, mealtimes, chore lists,
consequences for family rules being broken, etc.). Those for whom
unschooling is also their total lifestyle are NOT by any means "unparenting"
or letting their kids run wild to squish bread, trample the neighbors
flowerbeds, etc. The line between unschooling and parenting is kind of
fuzzy.

Janet, mom to Caroline, almost 7!! and Thomas, 3