Ms. Tery

Interesting groups of posts in this digest:

Sandra said:

>>>. . . "Unschooling needs positive regard. It needs sweetness and light.
>>>It needs more "yes!" than "NO!" It needs a lot more of "This is so cool"
>>>than "This is stupid." Some people move in a cloud of disdain, . . . who
>>>still had a big cloud of that negativity themselves. . ."

I find this amusing because it was promptly followed by the following
message:

>>>Bridgett are you in your 20's? Are you frustrated with your life?
Are you here just to argue?
>
>Because you're doing the written version of batting the palms of your hands
>over your ears and saying LA LA LA LA LA LA LA and I can't figure out why
>you would think that's a good use of your time or ours.
>
>Sandra

From this dialogue one would, probably quite properly, be led to believe
that the advise is a one way street. Search as I might for even a
microscopic hint of "sweetness," "light" or "positive" energy, I could find
none. It does however fairly reek of "negativity" and "disdain."

And just a thought for those that have no clinical experience working with
addictive personality, a little research as to successfully working with
children who have this disease might go a long way to making "conversations"
with Bridget a little more paletable for all parties concerned.

A person, particularly a child who has an addictive personality in a
noticable majority of the clinically examed cased do not have an inborn
ability to "control" behaviors that can be detrimental to them. There are
several recommended methods of "teaching" to modify their behaviors and once
they have learned this they can then regulate themselves. It is quite
possible and is documented that without an outside control they are at risk
to harming themselves.

Television is frequently not allowed in group homes for those who have
severe cases of addictive, and/or obsessive compulsive behaviors unless the
televisions are on a timer. This personality type has been known to
"forget" to eat or even use the bathroom. There have been instances when
their obsession was a walkman and they have walked into traffic with fatal
results.

From what I have read thus far, it would appear that Bridget is doing what
is necessary for both her and her son's situation.

Perhaps posters would be better advised to first follow Sandra's advise
about not conferring "stupid" on anyone and then doing a little research
before jumping in with assumptions with no basis in fact.

Tery



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Bridget E Coffman

On Sun, 09 Sep 2001 11:54:14 -0700 "Ms. Tery" <mom2kaalande@...>
writes:
> This personality type has been known to
> "forget" to eat or even use the bathroom. There have been instances
when
> their obsession was a walkman and they have walked into traffic with
fatal
> results.
>

Man does that describe him well. He does forget to go to the bathroom
quite frequently. I forget to eat when my problems flare up - but then
my obsessions are a bit more productive - I sew and knit and research for
writing! So at least my addictions might earn us a little money - but
seriously, it took me years to recognize my problems and even longer to
get them under control. I'm hoping to help Wyndham through his with a
little less pain!

Bridget

~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat