Janet F Hamlin

>>I also suspect that there are those here who harbor a very narrow view of
unschooling. The impression I get is that they think I should sit back
and watch my kids do absolutely nothing because that's okay, they'll
learn anyway. Well, it isn't. I've been homeschooling for 6 years now.
This is our seventh year. There is no structure to our study but if I
don't set some rules and limits, Rachel will hole up in her room and let
her depression take her over despite the prozac and Wyndham is just
Wyndham and you have to meet him to understand.
If you have such a narrow view of unschooling that you cannot allow any
parental control at all, that makes you no better in my book than Mr.
Farris who takes the opposite view to the extreme.<<

I think the problem is is that for some of us, unschooling IS a lifestyle,
not just an education style. The line is very blurry between unschooling
and what some might consider "unparenting". By allowing your children total
control over their lives can be a wonderful thing, but there do need to be
limits. Some of us seem to need to have more limits than others.

I am struggling with this problem right now and I have found this discussion
very interesting and I am enjoying everyones opinions.

For example, I think there are people on this list who are true unschoolers,
who let their kids do whatever all day, but have a set lunch and dinnertime
or family time (when dad gets home). Others (like myself) stock the kitchen
with nutritious foods and allow the kids to help themselves when their
hungry. If they eat ice cream for breakfast on occasion, I don't really
care, because most mornings they have cereal and fruit, or yogurt, or even a
sandwich. They get help when they need it.

Others may allow their kids to fall asleep whenever, but other families need
a set bedtime.

These extraneous issues (bedtime, TV, Nintendo, etc) are more of parenting
issues than educational issues. I can see the validity of both sides. But
I don't feel that someone who limits TV can't be an unschooler; however
someone who requires a certain amount of schoolwork (usually reading,
writing/spelling, and/or math) a day is a relaxed homeschooler, not an
unschooler.

Radical unschoolers allow the philosophy to spill over into all areas of
life, not just education while the less radical folk need a more
authoritarian parenting style.

I hope this is making sense. I think some of this discussion has been
because of the blurred the lines between unschooling and parenting, and like
I said, I'm still trying to figure out where that line is in my own family.

I don't feel that my children are wild and run amok or are rude and
undisciplined. I feel that they are capable (ie they use knives and
scissors, stoneware dishes and regular glassware, help cook, etc). Some
would feel we are "unsafe" but it is amazing how capable young kids can be
if allowed to use some things that "only grown-ups" should use (after being
shown how and supervised etc).

Janet, mom to Caroline, 6, and Thomas, 3

Bridget E Coffman

On Sat, 8 Sep 2001 15:20:52 -0400 "Janet F Hamlin" <jefhdvm@...>
writes:
> For example, I think there are people on this list who are true
unschoolers,
> who let their kids do whatever all day, but have a set lunch and
dinnertime
> or family time (when dad gets home). Others (like myself) stock the
kitchen
> with nutritious foods and allow the kids to help themselves when their
> hungry. If they eat ice cream for breakfast on occasion, I don't
really
> care, because most mornings they have cereal and fruit, or yogurt, or
even a
> sandwich. They get help when they need it.
>
> Others may allow their kids to fall asleep whenever, but other
> families need a set bedtime.
>

Actually, until about three weeks ago, we lived this way. Everyone ate
when they wanted and slept when they wanted. I cooked some of the time.
Other times, I didn't
We are hosting a foreign exchange student now though and out of courtesy
for him we are now eating dinner together at night and having down time
that starts at about 11:00 so he can sleep without too much house noise.
Mine don't have to go to sleep, they just have to be quiet. It's
actually rather refreshing and uplifting to see that these three kids who
are used to practical anarchy, are accepting these changes without
complaint and understand why they are happening. Now, if I could just
get used to having to deal with the ps system . . .

Bridget

~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/8/01 2:45:38 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
jefhdvm@... writes:


Wow, that was a wonderful explanation! Sums up my life perfectly!

brenda

> Subj:[Unschooling-dotcom] Unschooling, Parenting choices and Lifestyles
> Date:9/8/01 2:45:38 PM US Eastern Standard Time
> From: jefhdvm@... (Janet F Hamlin)
> Reply-to: <A HREF="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</A>
> To: [email protected]
>
>
>
>
> >>I also suspect that there are those here who harbor a very narrow view of
> unschooling. The impression I get is that they think I should sit back
> and watch my kids do absolutely nothing because that's okay, they'll
> learn anyway. Well, it isn't. I've been homeschooling for 6 years now.
> This is our seventh year. There is no structure to our study but if I
> don't set some rules and limits, Rachel will hole up in her room and let
> her depression take her over despite the prozac and Wyndham is just
> Wyndham and you have to meet him to understand.
> If you have such a narrow view of unschooling that you cannot allow any
> parental control at all, that makes you no better in my book than Mr.
> Farris who takes the opposite view to the extreme.<<
>
> I think the problem is is that for some of us, unschooling IS a lifestyle,
> not just an education style. The line is very blurry between unschooling
> and what some might consider "unparenting". By allowing your children total
> control over their lives can be a wonderful thing, but there do need to be
> limits. Some of us seem to need to have more limits than others.
>
> I am struggling with this problem right now and I have found this discussion
> very interesting and I am enjoying everyones opinions.
>
> For example, I think there are people on this list who are true unschoolers,
> who let their kids do whatever all day, but have a set lunch and dinnertime
> or family time (when dad gets home). Others (like myself) stock the kitchen
> with nutritious foods and allow the kids to help themselves when their
> hungry. If they eat ice cream for breakfast on occasion, I don't really
> care, because most mornings they have cereal and fruit, or yogurt, or even a
> sandwich. They get help when they need it.
>
> Others may allow their kids to fall asleep whenever, but other families need
> a set bedtime.
>
> These extraneous issues (bedtime, TV, Nintendo, etc) are more of parenting
> issues than educational issues. I can see the validity of both sides. But
> I don't feel that someone who limits TV can't be an unschooler; however
> someone who requires a certain amount of schoolwork (usually reading,
> writing/spelling, and/or math) a day is a relaxed homeschooler, not an
> unschooler.
>
> Radical unschoolers allow the philosophy to spill over into all areas of
> life, not just education while the less radical folk need a more
> authoritarian parenting style.
>
> I hope this is making sense. I think some of this discussion has been
> because of the blurred the lines between unschooling and parenting, and like
> I said, I'm still trying to figure out where that line is in my own family.
>
> I don't feel that my children are wild and run amok or are rude and
> undisciplined. I feel that they are capable (ie they use knives and
> scissors, stoneware dishes and regular glassware, help cook, etc). Some
> would feel we are "unsafe" but it is amazing how capable young kids can be
> if allowed to use some things that "only grown-ups" should use (after being
> shown how and supervised etc).
>
> Janet, mom to Caroline, 6, and Thomas, 3
>
>
>
>
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