Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Dishwashers, Laundry and Computers
Bronwen
.>> So do I stop him from doing that and
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing?>>
I hope you don't mind- but I am gonna post something I posted to another list, 'cause maybe it will be helpful- it is about "chores" in general.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MY chore!", "It is Reed's turn!", "I did it yesterday!"...bla bla bla
We are much more co-operative without the "chore" mentality. This has
been a recent revisited topic for me because I had a new baby. Things like
this started going through my head, "I think I have been a SLAVE!"- "while
I am laying around (hee hee!) cuddling my baby- NOTHING gets done!"-
so I resorted to "chores" and even one of my favorite techniques,
"yelling". (! ha)
Those didn't result in the effect I was going for.... (and I think getting
in the spot where I am "going for an effect" on other people is also not
really where I want to be anyway). I needed to look at myself and my
attitudes- here I am thinking "I didn't make THAT painting mess!- why
should I always have to clean up others stuff"- and SURPRISE, everyone
littler than me is thinking the same thing...(love this CC stuff)
Fundamentally important is for me to maintain a helpful, co-operative
attitude myself. Here is an example of something that happened while I was
relearning (lordy! it never ends!) this stuff.
So we were hanging out in the yard, and Chloe (13) goes and gets the weed
eater and proceeds to trim up the edges. "How great" I think, "I never get
around to that..". Well anyway, later, I see that she has left the
trimmer in the middle of the lawn and it is still plugged in (mess)- she is
in the house and I caught myself just as I was about to yell back to the
house- no joke- "Gosh darn it Chloe! the weed wacker is still out here-
get out here and pick it up..." BUT! instead I thought stuff like, "if it
was my friend- I would love to put it away for her if she forgot...Im out
here- why can't I do it, it is so simple..." stuff like that
(yeah now there is a "chore" mentality, isnt it- you are right there
looking at the "chore" (yeah, and it is something like,"put your cup in the
dishwasher after you use it")- your kid is like, at the next door
nieghbor's house, and you walk to were they are and say, "well get over
here and do YOUR chore!")
anyway, SO- I just gladly, open heartedly put the tool away thinking, "that
was so nice of her to trim up- I am glad to help with putting away" And
when I went in the house- I said, "OH! Chloe- I put away the weed eater for
you :-)" she goes, "oh thanks, mom. I totally forgot". AHH! It felt so
good to just have that warm, helping feeling towards her...that is the
feeling I want to have all the time! And SURPRISE, everyone seemed to
adopt the same sweet attitude---modeling, modeling, modeling, (you guys
aren't surprised at all, hu?). But I think the most important thing is
that I was happier. I was being who I want to be, kind and warm and openly
giving. Then I am happy- I like myself.
(yipes, sounds like I am Mother Thereasa! rrriiiiiiight! I AM the woman!-
don't forget that list!)
Love,
Bronwen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing?>>
I hope you don't mind- but I am gonna post something I posted to another list, 'cause maybe it will be helpful- it is about "chores" in general.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>I agree- "chores" seem to foster non-cooperation around here..."that is not
> And I am beginning to feel very uncomfortable with the "chore" concept.
MY chore!", "It is Reed's turn!", "I did it yesterday!"...bla bla bla
We are much more co-operative without the "chore" mentality. This has
been a recent revisited topic for me because I had a new baby. Things like
this started going through my head, "I think I have been a SLAVE!"- "while
I am laying around (hee hee!) cuddling my baby- NOTHING gets done!"-
so I resorted to "chores" and even one of my favorite techniques,
"yelling". (! ha)
Those didn't result in the effect I was going for.... (and I think getting
in the spot where I am "going for an effect" on other people is also not
really where I want to be anyway). I needed to look at myself and my
attitudes- here I am thinking "I didn't make THAT painting mess!- why
should I always have to clean up others stuff"- and SURPRISE, everyone
littler than me is thinking the same thing...(love this CC stuff)
Fundamentally important is for me to maintain a helpful, co-operative
attitude myself. Here is an example of something that happened while I was
relearning (lordy! it never ends!) this stuff.
So we were hanging out in the yard, and Chloe (13) goes and gets the weed
eater and proceeds to trim up the edges. "How great" I think, "I never get
around to that..". Well anyway, later, I see that she has left the
trimmer in the middle of the lawn and it is still plugged in (mess)- she is
in the house and I caught myself just as I was about to yell back to the
house- no joke- "Gosh darn it Chloe! the weed wacker is still out here-
get out here and pick it up..." BUT! instead I thought stuff like, "if it
was my friend- I would love to put it away for her if she forgot...Im out
here- why can't I do it, it is so simple..." stuff like that
(yeah now there is a "chore" mentality, isnt it- you are right there
looking at the "chore" (yeah, and it is something like,"put your cup in the
dishwasher after you use it")- your kid is like, at the next door
nieghbor's house, and you walk to were they are and say, "well get over
here and do YOUR chore!")
anyway, SO- I just gladly, open heartedly put the tool away thinking, "that
was so nice of her to trim up- I am glad to help with putting away" And
when I went in the house- I said, "OH! Chloe- I put away the weed eater for
you :-)" she goes, "oh thanks, mom. I totally forgot". AHH! It felt so
good to just have that warm, helping feeling towards her...that is the
feeling I want to have all the time! And SURPRISE, everyone seemed to
adopt the same sweet attitude---modeling, modeling, modeling, (you guys
aren't surprised at all, hu?). But I think the most important thing is
that I was happier. I was being who I want to be, kind and warm and openly
giving. Then I am happy- I like myself.
(yipes, sounds like I am Mother Thereasa! rrriiiiiiight! I AM the woman!-
don't forget that list!)
Love,
Bronwen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Ok... I'm going full steam ahead with this unschooling thing... So here are
some questions for you old timers that I would love to have feedback from.
I'm looking for your experience.
Yesterday I had Zak unload the dishwasher as we are incorporating him doing
chores as part of the household. I was going to do that this morning, but as
we speak he is playing Jump Start Kindergarten on his computer and he's
showing Max (2 years old) how it works. So do I stop him from doing that and
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing?
I know this may seem a no brainer to many of you, but for me that has been
part of my back and forth with homeschooling. How much do I just let him do
what he wants. Right now they are both together and Zak is learning about
spelling.
Help!!!
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
some questions for you old timers that I would love to have feedback from.
I'm looking for your experience.
Yesterday I had Zak unload the dishwasher as we are incorporating him doing
chores as part of the household. I was going to do that this morning, but as
we speak he is playing Jump Start Kindergarten on his computer and he's
showing Max (2 years old) how it works. So do I stop him from doing that and
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing?
I know this may seem a no brainer to many of you, but for me that has been
part of my back and forth with homeschooling. How much do I just let him do
what he wants. Right now they are both together and Zak is learning about
spelling.
Help!!!
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."-George
Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/6/2001 11:05:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
Run to the dishwasher and do the dishes!!! LOL. . . if it were me, and I
wanted to do the dishes I would. If I wanted to be doing something else, that
is where I would be. Probably I would take the opportunity to read for a bit
myself. . .
lovemary
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
NumoAstro@... writes:
> what he wants. Right now they are both together and Zak is learning aboutDawn!!
> spelling.
>
> Help!!!
>
Run to the dishwasher and do the dishes!!! LOL. . . if it were me, and I
wanted to do the dishes I would. If I wanted to be doing something else, that
is where I would be. Probably I would take the opportunity to read for a bit
myself. . .
lovemary
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/6/01 9:05:55 AM, NumoAstro@... writes:
<< So do I stop him from doing that and
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing? >>
You could ask them both to come and help, but they might not get back to the
cool and valuable thing they're doing.
You could go and do something altogether different and out of the kitchen so
you're not thinking about the dishwasher.
In any case, I think it would be more fun and more productive for you to
unload the dishwasher WITH Zak instead of making him do it without you. If
you do it together he learns more about what/how/where, and you have a chance
to talk with him about whatever comes up while you're together.
Sandra
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
<< So do I stop him from doing that and
unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing and
tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing? >>
You could ask them both to come and help, but they might not get back to the
cool and valuable thing they're doing.
You could go and do something altogether different and out of the kitchen so
you're not thinking about the dishwasher.
In any case, I think it would be more fun and more productive for you to
unload the dishwasher WITH Zak instead of making him do it without you. If
you do it together he learns more about what/how/where, and you have a chance
to talk with him about whatever comes up while you're together.
Sandra
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
Lynda
Don't break the spell. IMHO, if you really want him to help with the
chores, then let the dishes sit in the dishwasher until he takes a break.
The dishes aren't going anywhere <g> so they get to wait.
Lynda
chores, then let the dishes sit in the dishwasher until he takes a break.
The dishes aren't going anywhere <g> so they get to wait.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <NumoAstro@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2001 7:55 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Dishwashers, Laundry and Computers
> Ok... I'm going full steam ahead with this unschooling thing... So here
are
> some questions for you old timers that I would love to have feedback from.
> I'm looking for your experience.
>
> Yesterday I had Zak unload the dishwasher as we are incorporating him
doing
> chores as part of the household. I was going to do that this morning, but
as
> we speak he is playing Jump Start Kindergarten on his computer and he's
> showing Max (2 years old) how it works. So do I stop him from doing that
and
> unload the dishwasher myself and take this opportunity to do more washing
and
> tidy up a bit or stop him from what he's doing?
>
> I know this may seem a no brainer to many of you, but for me that has been
> part of my back and forth with homeschooling. How much do I just let him
do
> what he wants. Right now they are both together and Zak is learning about
> spelling.
>
> Help!!!
> Dawn
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Dawn Falbe
> Personal Development Coach
> Relocational Astrologer
> (520) 579-2646
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
> www.astrologerdawn.com
> Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
>
> "The people who get on in this world
> are people who get up and look for the
> circumstances they want, and,
> if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
>
> "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in
school."-George
> Bernard Shaw
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
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Bonni Sollars
I say hey, let him learn. But don't do it for him, or he's learning to
be lazy. Just prep it for him so he can do it later.
Bonni
be lazy. Just prep it for him so he can do it later.
Bonni
Julie Stauffer
As with all great questions, the answer is "it depends."
These are some things I try to think about:
1) Is what I want the child to do something he has agreed to do? or is it
just some great idea that I had and thought he would like?
2) Is it necessary that the child do the task "right now?"
3) Is what I want the child to do somehow more important than what the child
wants to do (needs to put on coat BEFORE playing in snow, etc.)?
Usually we talk about chores and stuff ahead of time, the kids know what
they are expected to do and when. If it isn't necessary that the chore be
done right now (do dishes before guests arrive), I ask the child when they
would like to do it. Usually, that is all it takes. Sometimes I come back
at the set time and remind them.
Julie
These are some things I try to think about:
1) Is what I want the child to do something he has agreed to do? or is it
just some great idea that I had and thought he would like?
2) Is it necessary that the child do the task "right now?"
3) Is what I want the child to do somehow more important than what the child
wants to do (needs to put on coat BEFORE playing in snow, etc.)?
Usually we talk about chores and stuff ahead of time, the kids know what
they are expected to do and when. If it isn't necessary that the chore be
done right now (do dishes before guests arrive), I ask the child when they
would like to do it. Usually, that is all it takes. Sometimes I come back
at the set time and remind them.
Julie
Ann
Oh, ho, ho, ho Bronwen!!
Life is such a hard trip isn't it. Just when we think we've "got it"! Life jumps up and says NOT!
I try hard to be a friend to my kids, but it is so hard to do....
Wonderful example you have illustrated for us....
My 8 yr old is the worlds best kid. I mean he empties the dehumidifier when it is full or almost full without me even saying anything. He has
always been a kind, loving, thoughtful child. I try hard to find the positive in each of my kids, and then tell them about it.
This weekend was particularly hard for me...we had to put our dog down. He wasn't sick, or old, but just ...sigh...what do you call it?
Protective, neurotic...ect... anyway, he was my buddy, and this was SO EXTREMELY hard for me. I cried alot and hard, but was honest with the kids
on how bad I felt. The day after the kids brought me breakfast in bed because I felt so sad.
These kids are 8, 6 and 5.
It pays off to be honest and even more than that HUMAN with our kids.
We all have our positive points as well as our faults....
We must admit this to our kids so they see this is life.
We make a mistake (yell just because we are crabby and tired) then we apologize and explain.
I don't care how young a child is, they can understand in their own way an apology, and a humanness. (if that is even a word)
Okay, enough rambling....
Ann
Life is such a hard trip isn't it. Just when we think we've "got it"! Life jumps up and says NOT!
I try hard to be a friend to my kids, but it is so hard to do....
Wonderful example you have illustrated for us....
My 8 yr old is the worlds best kid. I mean he empties the dehumidifier when it is full or almost full without me even saying anything. He has
always been a kind, loving, thoughtful child. I try hard to find the positive in each of my kids, and then tell them about it.
This weekend was particularly hard for me...we had to put our dog down. He wasn't sick, or old, but just ...sigh...what do you call it?
Protective, neurotic...ect... anyway, he was my buddy, and this was SO EXTREMELY hard for me. I cried alot and hard, but was honest with the kids
on how bad I felt. The day after the kids brought me breakfast in bed because I felt so sad.
These kids are 8, 6 and 5.
It pays off to be honest and even more than that HUMAN with our kids.
We all have our positive points as well as our faults....
We must admit this to our kids so they see this is life.
We make a mistake (yell just because we are crabby and tired) then we apologize and explain.
I don't care how young a child is, they can understand in their own way an apology, and a humanness. (if that is even a word)
Okay, enough rambling....
Ann
jefferson academy
> >and
> > And I am beginning to feel very uncomfortable
> with the "chore" concept.
> SURPRISE, everyoneI loved your post - but what is CC stuff?
> littler than me is thinking the same thing...(love
> this CC stuff)
>
=====
Michele
(mom of 5dd: Justice 22, Felicity 20, Christian 18, Grace 13, Elysian (Mia)2)
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