Re: Yelling revisited
Pam Hartley
----------
Several posters (I lost count) have now said, "I would rather yell than..."
and then listed something else that's bad. We COULD be saying, "Rather than
yell, I would like to..." and list ways that are GOOD for communicating to
people, including our children.
I am taking on faith that shouting at each other in families can work and
everyone is happy. I come from an extremely large, and loud (when we're
together in a group of 10 or 40 or, G-d help us, 65 which was the count at
Aunt Jackie's last December) Catholic family, but that doesn't mean people
are yelling AT each other angrily, it just means the room is vibrating when
everyone's conversing at once, especially if Aunt Margaret is there. <g>
But this "I would rather yell than..." argument is a lot like the "I would
rather spank..." arguments I've heard. "I would rather spank than scream at
my kids." "I would rather spank than ground them." "I would rather spank
than glare silently at my child and be angry for hours." Etc. The arguments
neglect the, "I would rather do something kind and positive than spank"
options.
Pam
>From: [email protected]There are GOOD choices, too.
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1411
>Date: Wed, Sep 5, 2001, 6:24 PM
>
> I
> was trying to say yelling at my dd to knock it off (I can't think of a proper
> example right now) is better than calling her a brat or blaming her for
> ruining our evening.
Several posters (I lost count) have now said, "I would rather yell than..."
and then listed something else that's bad. We COULD be saying, "Rather than
yell, I would like to..." and list ways that are GOOD for communicating to
people, including our children.
I am taking on faith that shouting at each other in families can work and
everyone is happy. I come from an extremely large, and loud (when we're
together in a group of 10 or 40 or, G-d help us, 65 which was the count at
Aunt Jackie's last December) Catholic family, but that doesn't mean people
are yelling AT each other angrily, it just means the room is vibrating when
everyone's conversing at once, especially if Aunt Margaret is there. <g>
But this "I would rather yell than..." argument is a lot like the "I would
rather spank..." arguments I've heard. "I would rather spank than scream at
my kids." "I would rather spank than ground them." "I would rather spank
than glare silently at my child and be angry for hours." Etc. The arguments
neglect the, "I would rather do something kind and positive than spank"
options.
Pam