Re: Bedtime
[email protected]
In a message dated 09/05/2001 12:45:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
quite easily most of the time. Once we started homeschooling, that went out
the window. He usually goes to bed about the same time we do, because if he
doesn't he doesn't get his bedtime reading. (We love him dearly, but we have
to go to sleep.) Sometimes he has to get up early and is tired. He probably
doesn't get as much sleep as he needs. But we get to spend lots of time
together as a family, even the poor unfortunate soul who has to work in the
morning.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Tanya and Dawn have hit on something I would like to ask others theirWhen my son was in school, he had a nice reliable bedtime that we managed
> opinion of, bedtimes. What do you folks think about having bedtimes? Do
> many of you find your children often open up and want to discuss everything
> personal to them at bedtime? When my children need sone individual time or
> something is heavy on their hearts, they ask to sleep with me. My husband
> is on the road most of the time so we usually end up having deep
> converstions late into the night with the older children. Right now we have
> bedtimes but I am considering changing it.
>
quite easily most of the time. Once we started homeschooling, that went out
the window. He usually goes to bed about the same time we do, because if he
doesn't he doesn't get his bedtime reading. (We love him dearly, but we have
to go to sleep.) Sometimes he has to get up early and is tired. He probably
doesn't get as much sleep as he needs. But we get to spend lots of time
together as a family, even the poor unfortunate soul who has to work in the
morning.
Kathryn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stancland
My husband and I could use a good dose of wisdom, insight and advice from you
guys right now. We have been "deschooling' since May. Although never publicly
schooled, my ds's (8 and 10) had workbooks, curriculum, bedtimes and the like. We
are trying hard to not stress out over the bedtime and tv watching thing, however, we
are struggling with it and I know they can sense it at times. Last night, or should I
say this morning, my 10 YO said he came to bed at 3am. He said he left his brother
(8), still watching tv and he is still in bed as I type this (almost 1:15pm), so I don't
know when he finally went to bed. Everyone says that they will start "listening" to
their bodies and sleep when they need to, however, we are having a hard time
"keeping the faith". I also wonder if my late night habits are part of the equation. Is
there a right way and a wrong way to do this? Should I make sure I go to bed at 10 or
11 every night like their dad does, or does it even matter? I have been able to point
out to my 10 YO how his crankiness is related to not getting enough sleep. He gets it
and I don't worry about him as much anyway because he is such a pro-active, go
getter type of person and usually starts crawling out of his skin if he sits at the tv or
computer too long. He is also a natural "early riser" (like his dad), and I can see how
he could balance out in the future. However, my 8 YO can sit for hours upon hours
at the tv, or a computer game. I tend to fall asleep if it's tv, but if I'm at the
computer, I can stay up till 3 as well. I used to feel bad about that until I read one of
Sandra's posts about the "night-watchmen" of the tribes. I figure my ancestors were
the night-watchmen and dh's were the hunter/gatherers! <g>
Anyway, I think I can guess what one person <g> might say, something like; so
what's wrong with staying up till 3 or 4am and and getting up at 2pm? And if that is
indeed the consensus, then how 'bout helping me see what is "right" about it. My
husband definitely feels that it is wrong because of his upbringing, and I just feel
that it's not helping to form good habits for college (if they choose) or the daytime
working world (if they choose).
I probably have the answer to this issue in my heart somewhere, I just would like a
little help and perspective for myself and my dh. One nice thing dh said this morning
about their late night last night , "what great childhood memories they'll have!" I
thought that was a great way to look at it, but it's hard for us to maintain that
attitude.
guys right now. We have been "deschooling' since May. Although never publicly
schooled, my ds's (8 and 10) had workbooks, curriculum, bedtimes and the like. We
are trying hard to not stress out over the bedtime and tv watching thing, however, we
are struggling with it and I know they can sense it at times. Last night, or should I
say this morning, my 10 YO said he came to bed at 3am. He said he left his brother
(8), still watching tv and he is still in bed as I type this (almost 1:15pm), so I don't
know when he finally went to bed. Everyone says that they will start "listening" to
their bodies and sleep when they need to, however, we are having a hard time
"keeping the faith". I also wonder if my late night habits are part of the equation. Is
there a right way and a wrong way to do this? Should I make sure I go to bed at 10 or
11 every night like their dad does, or does it even matter? I have been able to point
out to my 10 YO how his crankiness is related to not getting enough sleep. He gets it
and I don't worry about him as much anyway because he is such a pro-active, go
getter type of person and usually starts crawling out of his skin if he sits at the tv or
computer too long. He is also a natural "early riser" (like his dad), and I can see how
he could balance out in the future. However, my 8 YO can sit for hours upon hours
at the tv, or a computer game. I tend to fall asleep if it's tv, but if I'm at the
computer, I can stay up till 3 as well. I used to feel bad about that until I read one of
Sandra's posts about the "night-watchmen" of the tribes. I figure my ancestors were
the night-watchmen and dh's were the hunter/gatherers! <g>
Anyway, I think I can guess what one person <g> might say, something like; so
what's wrong with staying up till 3 or 4am and and getting up at 2pm? And if that is
indeed the consensus, then how 'bout helping me see what is "right" about it. My
husband definitely feels that it is wrong because of his upbringing, and I just feel
that it's not helping to form good habits for college (if they choose) or the daytime
working world (if they choose).
I probably have the answer to this issue in my heart somewhere, I just would like a
little help and perspective for myself and my dh. One nice thing dh said this morning
about their late night last night , "what great childhood memories they'll have!" I
thought that was a great way to look at it, but it's hard for us to maintain that
attitude.
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/22/04 5:49:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
stanclan@... writes:
with our kids, without verbalizing our intent, is that whenever we go to bed,
the kids go to bed. Often this is around 10-10:30'ish. It's not something
spoken of, it's just sort of a "well, come on guys, it's getting late, how about
brushing our teeth?" Brushing the teeth is sort of their unspoken knowledge
that it's bedtime.
However, my son is also a natural early riser, and just does not require as
much sleep as the rest of the household. This has been his way since birth.
So he gets up, no matter what his bedtime, around 6-6:30am. The only "rule"
(and I use that word lightly) is that he try not to disturb anyone else still
sleeping. He's very good with this and will typically get himself a drink and
turn the tv on in his bdrm.
This routine has worked well for us for the most part. With a few 'off' days
of severe crankiness and rudeness when someone just did not get enough
sufficient sleep. On those days, we just do the routine an hour or two earlier and
it seems to compensate well.
Good luck,
Emily
Wife to Chris, Mom to Joshua (8) and Stephanie (3)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stanclan@... writes:
> I probably have the answer to this issue in my heart somewhere, I justWell, not sure if this will help at all, but what we've come around to doing
> would like a
> little help and perspective for myself and my dh. One nice thing dh said
> this morning
> about their late night last night , "what great childhood memories they'll
> have!" I
> thought that was a great way to look at it, but it's hard for us to maintain
> that
> attitude.
>
with our kids, without verbalizing our intent, is that whenever we go to bed,
the kids go to bed. Often this is around 10-10:30'ish. It's not something
spoken of, it's just sort of a "well, come on guys, it's getting late, how about
brushing our teeth?" Brushing the teeth is sort of their unspoken knowledge
that it's bedtime.
However, my son is also a natural early riser, and just does not require as
much sleep as the rest of the household. This has been his way since birth.
So he gets up, no matter what his bedtime, around 6-6:30am. The only "rule"
(and I use that word lightly) is that he try not to disturb anyone else still
sleeping. He's very good with this and will typically get himself a drink and
turn the tv on in his bdrm.
This routine has worked well for us for the most part. With a few 'off' days
of severe crankiness and rudeness when someone just did not get enough
sufficient sleep. On those days, we just do the routine an hour or two earlier and
it seems to compensate well.
Good luck,
Emily
Wife to Chris, Mom to Joshua (8) and Stephanie (3)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
catherine aceto
That was damn close to my hours during several years of college -- at least a couple of semesters I ended up having to take earlier classes (although "early" classes met at 9 or 10, not 7 or 8, and it was not unknown for me (or several of my friends) to roll out of bed in our sweats at 8:45 and dash across a (small) campus for a 9:00 class. (I graduated summa cum laude, if it makes any difference). Part of the joy of college is that you often arrange your classes around your preferred sleeping arrangements.
I have an acquaintance who is a scriptwriter and, now, college professor. Those are pretty much his hours - and according to his wife, he stayed up even later when they lived in L.A. and he was writing for television. I also have an acquaintance who is a security guard and who works from 2:00 until 11.00. He generally gets up by 10 or 11.
My husband (a corporate attorney) stays up until 2:00 and gets up at 7:30 (in to the office by 9:30 or so) and then sleeps until noon on both Saturday and Sunday.
What's "good" about it, IMO -- is that he is discovering who he is and what he likes.
-Cat
***************************
and I just feel
that it's not helping to form good habits for college (if they choose) or the daytime
working world (if they choose).
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have an acquaintance who is a scriptwriter and, now, college professor. Those are pretty much his hours - and according to his wife, he stayed up even later when they lived in L.A. and he was writing for television. I also have an acquaintance who is a security guard and who works from 2:00 until 11.00. He generally gets up by 10 or 11.
My husband (a corporate attorney) stays up until 2:00 and gets up at 7:30 (in to the office by 9:30 or so) and then sleeps until noon on both Saturday and Sunday.
What's "good" about it, IMO -- is that he is discovering who he is and what he likes.
-Cat
***************************
and I just feel
that it's not helping to form good habits for college (if they choose) or the daytime
working world (if they choose).
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
eriksmama2001
I worked night shift for nearly 3 years. I could sleep anytime, any
place fortunately. But I would feel sick in the morning or when I was
off nights due to the chaotic biorhythms. Some of my co-workers kept
their off schedule the same: up nights.
At heart I am an early riser, afternoon napper and night owl. We are
all different. I have learned to avoid afternoon challenges because I
am not at my best. We have to learn what works for us, reguardless of
whether we live on a set schedule for some reason of our own. Why
should anyone sleep when someone else thinks that they are tired?
What is the point?
Pat
--- In [email protected], "stancland"
<stanclan@c...> wrote:
place fortunately. But I would feel sick in the morning or when I was
off nights due to the chaotic biorhythms. Some of my co-workers kept
their off schedule the same: up nights.
At heart I am an early riser, afternoon napper and night owl. We are
all different. I have learned to avoid afternoon challenges because I
am not at my best. We have to learn what works for us, reguardless of
whether we live on a set schedule for some reason of our own. Why
should anyone sleep when someone else thinks that they are tired?
What is the point?
Pat
--- In [email protected], "stancland"
<stanclan@c...> wrote:
> My husband and I could use a good dose of wisdom, insight andadvice from you
> guys right now. We have been "deschooling' since May. Althoughnever publicly
> schooled, my ds's (8 and 10) had workbooks, curriculum, bedtimesand the like. We
> are trying hard to not stress out over the bedtime and tv watchingthing, however, we
> are struggling with it and I know they can sense it at times. Lastnight, or should I
> say this morning, my 10 YO said he came to bed at 3am. He said heleft his brother
> (8), still watching tv and he is still in bed as I type this(almost 1:15pm), so I don't
> know when he finally went to bed. Everyone says that they willstart "listening" to
> their bodies and sleep when they need to, however, we are having ahard time
> "keeping the faith". I also wonder if my late night habits arepart of the equation. Is
> there a right way and a wrong way to do this? Should I make sure Igo to bed at 10 or
> 11 every night like their dad does, or does it even matter? I havebeen able to point
> out to my 10 YO how his crankiness is related to not getting enoughsleep. He gets it
> and I don't worry about him as much anyway because he is such a pro-active, go
> getter type of person and usually starts crawling out of his skinif he sits at the tv or
> computer too long. He is also a natural "early riser" (like hisdad), and I can see how
> he could balance out in the future. However, my 8 YO can sit forhours upon hours
> at the tv, or a computer game. I tend to fall asleep if it's tv,but if I'm at the
> computer, I can stay up till 3 as well. I used to feel bad aboutthat until I read one of
> Sandra's posts about the "night-watchmen" of the tribes. I figuremy ancestors were
> the night-watchmen and dh's were the hunter/gatherers! <g>something like; so
>
> Anyway, I think I can guess what one person <g> might say,
> what's wrong with staying up till 3 or 4am and and getting up at2pm? And if that is
> indeed the consensus, then how 'bout helping me see whatis "right" about it. My
> husband definitely feels that it is wrong because of hisupbringing, and I just feel
> that it's not helping to form good habits for college (if theychoose) or the daytime
> working world (if they choose).just would like a
>
> I probably have the answer to this issue in my heart somewhere, I
> little help and perspective for myself and my dh. One nice thingdh said this morning
> about their late night last night , "what great childhood memoriesthey'll have!" I
> thought that was a great way to look at it, but it's hard for us tomaintain that
> attitude.
J. Stauffer
<<<tell me what's right about it>>>
I think it would be easier for you to tell us what you feel is wrong about
your sons staying up late. Unschooling focuses on the "now", not what might
possibly be helpful at some unknown point in the future. Who knows,
civilization as we know it could end tomorrow so going to college is a moot
reason.
In what way is the boys' staying up effecting them or the family in a
negative manner right now?
Julie S.
I think it would be easier for you to tell us what you feel is wrong about
your sons staying up late. Unschooling focuses on the "now", not what might
possibly be helpful at some unknown point in the future. Who knows,
civilization as we know it could end tomorrow so going to college is a moot
reason.
In what way is the boys' staying up effecting them or the family in a
negative manner right now?
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: <MomandMe2@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2004 5:49 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Bedtime
> In a message dated 7/22/04 5:49:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> stanclan@... writes:
>
> > I probably have the answer to this issue in my heart somewhere, I just
> > would like a
> > little help and perspective for myself and my dh. One nice thing dh
said
> > this morning
> > about their late night last night , "what great childhood memories
they'll
> > have!" I
> > thought that was a great way to look at it, but it's hard for us to
maintain
> > that
> > attitude.
> >
>
> Well, not sure if this will help at all, but what we've come around to
doing
> with our kids, without verbalizing our intent, is that whenever we go to
bed,
> the kids go to bed. Often this is around 10-10:30'ish. It's not
something
> spoken of, it's just sort of a "well, come on guys, it's getting late, how
about
> brushing our teeth?" Brushing the teeth is sort of their unspoken
knowledge
> that it's bedtime.
> However, my son is also a natural early riser, and just does not require
as
> much sleep as the rest of the household. This has been his way since
birth.
> So he gets up, no matter what his bedtime, around 6-6:30am. The only
"rule"
> (and I use that word lightly) is that he try not to disturb anyone else
still
> sleeping. He's very good with this and will typically get himself a drink
and
> turn the tv on in his bdrm.
> This routine has worked well for us for the most part. With a few 'off'
days
> of severe crankiness and rudeness when someone just did not get enough
> sufficient sleep. On those days, we just do the routine an hour or two
earlier and
> it seems to compensate well.
>
> Good luck,
> Emily
> Wife to Chris, Mom to Joshua (8) and Stephanie (3)
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
Kelli Traaseth
stancland <stanclan@...> wrote:
***Everyone says that they will start "listening" to
their bodies and sleep when they need to***
They will, really.
We have nights like that around here, especially if we've gotten a new video game or if the kids are really into a series that's on late, or a new Harry Potter book. <g>
Some people really function well late at night. My son is that way. He'll go on and on about how nice and quiet and calming it is at night. He loves it. He'll often stay up late into the night, or early into the morning. (However you look at it. :)
When we were first deschooling and debedtiming (if that's a word) it was a bit hard for me. But they really proved to me that they could decide on how much sleep they needed. They might stay up really late one night, but then in turn realize they need to get to bed earlier the next. As far as getting up for things in the morning, they've been fine there too. If they have something they want to do, they'll go to bed. They know themselves and what they need. Its great!
We've had lots of discussions about it too. My daughter (9) has figured out she doesn't feel good when she's been up really late. She likes to get to bed by 10:00-11:00. My son (11), on the other hand, just shines some mornings when he's been up all night working on something. Then goes and sleeps. He doesn't need as much as most of us.
Do you enjoy being up? It sounded like it, from your post. What a great thing. You can enjoy the night together.
I don't think you need to worry.
Oh, and check this out, I just heard this on Public Radio, it was so interesting. It was all about nighttime. They talk about how some people are more creative at late night hours. How lots of artists produce their best work after midnight.
Here's the link:
http://www.npr.org/rundowns/rundown.php?prgDate=19-Jul-2004&prgId=5
Then click on "Acquinted with the Night"
It was pretty interesting.
Kelli~
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Vote for the stars of Yahoo!'s next ad campaign!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
***Everyone says that they will start "listening" to
their bodies and sleep when they need to***
They will, really.
We have nights like that around here, especially if we've gotten a new video game or if the kids are really into a series that's on late, or a new Harry Potter book. <g>
Some people really function well late at night. My son is that way. He'll go on and on about how nice and quiet and calming it is at night. He loves it. He'll often stay up late into the night, or early into the morning. (However you look at it. :)
When we were first deschooling and debedtiming (if that's a word) it was a bit hard for me. But they really proved to me that they could decide on how much sleep they needed. They might stay up really late one night, but then in turn realize they need to get to bed earlier the next. As far as getting up for things in the morning, they've been fine there too. If they have something they want to do, they'll go to bed. They know themselves and what they need. Its great!
We've had lots of discussions about it too. My daughter (9) has figured out she doesn't feel good when she's been up really late. She likes to get to bed by 10:00-11:00. My son (11), on the other hand, just shines some mornings when he's been up all night working on something. Then goes and sleeps. He doesn't need as much as most of us.
Do you enjoy being up? It sounded like it, from your post. What a great thing. You can enjoy the night together.
I don't think you need to worry.
Oh, and check this out, I just heard this on Public Radio, it was so interesting. It was all about nighttime. They talk about how some people are more creative at late night hours. How lots of artists produce their best work after midnight.
Here's the link:
http://www.npr.org/rundowns/rundown.php?prgDate=19-Jul-2004&prgId=5
Then click on "Acquinted with the Night"
It was pretty interesting.
Kelli~
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Vote for the stars of Yahoo!'s next ad campaign!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stancland
--- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@g...> wrote:
always made me feel like I was somehow flawed being this way myself, including my
husband. (Until I read him Sandras post about the tribes and night-watchmen) <g>
tv some more. They used to play so creatively when we did not turn the TV on during
the day. And I am stressed that I may be screwing them up for life! <g>
Funny, when Alex finally came down this afternoon, fully dressed, at around 2pm, he
said to me, "I'm never going to do that again." I asked him why and he said he didn't
like getting up so late in the day. However, his brother went swimming today at the
neighbors house and Alex just decided to turn that TV back on again and he is still in
front of it now. (8pm) I feel as though he just can't help himself.
Ya know, as I am "writing" this through, I am realizing it's the tv thing that bothers me
so much. For a long time, when they had a "bedtime", all we asked was that they get
ready for bed and be in their rooms. They could play quietly, read or what ever until
they were tired (they don't have TV's in their rooms). This didn't bother me at all.
And often, Alex would be up past 11, but never until 4:30am which by the way, he
told me, is how late he stayed up last night.
Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an agreement about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. I tried to explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitate this or trust that
they will come to it on their own?
Keep talking everyone, it's helping lots. My husband read these posts and I could see
him becoming more relaxed and calmer about it immediately. And when he does, so
can I! <g>
Thanx,
Arlene, Oregon
> <<<tell me what's right about it>>>Well, I guess, I have always been told that it just isn't good and other people have
>
>>>> I think it would be easier for you to tell us what you feel is wrong about
> your sons staying up late.>>>
always made me feel like I was somehow flawed being this way myself, including my
husband. (Until I read him Sandras post about the tribes and night-watchmen) <g>
>>> In what way is the boys' staying up effecting them or the family in aEric is crabby and Alex is lethargic with no energy to do anything else but stare at the
> negative manner right now?>>>>
tv some more. They used to play so creatively when we did not turn the TV on during
the day. And I am stressed that I may be screwing them up for life! <g>
Funny, when Alex finally came down this afternoon, fully dressed, at around 2pm, he
said to me, "I'm never going to do that again." I asked him why and he said he didn't
like getting up so late in the day. However, his brother went swimming today at the
neighbors house and Alex just decided to turn that TV back on again and he is still in
front of it now. (8pm) I feel as though he just can't help himself.
Ya know, as I am "writing" this through, I am realizing it's the tv thing that bothers me
so much. For a long time, when they had a "bedtime", all we asked was that they get
ready for bed and be in their rooms. They could play quietly, read or what ever until
they were tired (they don't have TV's in their rooms). This didn't bother me at all.
And often, Alex would be up past 11, but never until 4:30am which by the way, he
told me, is how late he stayed up last night.
Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an agreement about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. I tried to explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitate this or trust that
they will come to it on their own?
Keep talking everyone, it's helping lots. My husband read these posts and I could see
him becoming more relaxed and calmer about it immediately. And when he does, so
can I! <g>
Thanx,
Arlene, Oregon
stancland
--- In [email protected], Kelli Traaseth <kellitraas@y...>
wrote:
11:00. My son (11), on the other hand, just shines some mornings when he's been
up all night working on something. Then goes and sleeps. He doesn't need as much
as most of us.
That is what I am hoping, waiting, looking for with my boys.
??> Oh, and check this out, I just heard this on Public Radio, it was so interesting.
It was all about nighttime. They talk about how some people are more creative at late
night hours. How lots of artists produce their best work after ????
I love the night time hours. I too, like the quiet, stillness and now that you mention
it, that IS when I do most of my creative work. And my Alex (8), is very very much like
me in that he is artistic and tenacious when it comes to learning new things.
Well there ya go, another paradigm shift! I so very much appreciate this group, I can't
even begin to tell you. Thank you, you are so right! Instead of being stressed out
about it, I can seize the opportunity to share this time with my ds, just like my other
ds and his dad sometimes share early morning times together!
Thanx Kelly, I'll be checking out the website next.
Arlene, Oregon
wrote:
>doesn't feel good when she's been up really late. She likes to get to bed by 10:00-
> We've had lots of discussions about it too. My daughter (9) has figured out she
11:00. My son (11), on the other hand, just shines some mornings when he's been
up all night working on something. Then goes and sleeps. He doesn't need as much
as most of us.
That is what I am hoping, waiting, looking for with my boys.
??> Oh, and check this out, I just heard this on Public Radio, it was so interesting.
It was all about nighttime. They talk about how some people are more creative at late
night hours. How lots of artists produce their best work after ????
I love the night time hours. I too, like the quiet, stillness and now that you mention
it, that IS when I do most of my creative work. And my Alex (8), is very very much like
me in that he is artistic and tenacious when it comes to learning new things.
>>You can enjoy the night together.>>>
>>> Do you enjoy being up? It sounded like it, from your post. What a great thing.
Well there ya go, another paradigm shift! I so very much appreciate this group, I can't
even begin to tell you. Thank you, you are so right! Instead of being stressed out
about it, I can seize the opportunity to share this time with my ds, just like my other
ds and his dad sometimes share early morning times together!
Thanx Kelly, I'll be checking out the website next.
Arlene, Oregon
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/2004 12:07:22 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
stanclan@... writes:
Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an agreement
about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's
the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. I tried to
explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and
that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitate
this or trust that
they will come to it on their own? <<<<
They WILL come to it on their own, but pointing things out to them isn't a
bad idea. NOT over and over, and preferably NOT when they're tired and grumpy.
When you're talking about what a body needs.
What do *you* do? Can you turn the tube off when you're tired? I went to bed
last night at 10:00 while Duncan and Ben watched _The Invisible Man_. I was
tired, so I went to bed. I stated it out loud. "I'm pooped. I'm going on to
bed." The more they see you do it, the more it makes sense to them. (Now, two
nights ago, I stayed up until 3:30. I'm not very bedtime-oriented! <g>)
It's hard, as a kid, to understand why children have to go to bed when
they're not tired but that parents/grown ups can stay up all night---even when
they have to work the next day. Adults will say that they just need some "down
time"---some time to themselves to unwind, and that's why children need to go
to bed. But that sends the wrong message. If children see YOU retiring when
you're tired, they want to too. If they see you trying to stay up as long as
you can, wellllll....... Not to mention how they must feel being "gotten rid
of" so that their parents can watch tv "in peace". OR that they turn off
their own biological needs because they're forcing themselves to sleep when
they're not tired.
Just like "Math-out-loud", you can use "Tired-out-loud". <G>
"Hungry-out-loud" is a good one too! <G>
TELL them how *you* have come to these conclusions."15% of 100 is 15, so 15%
of 50 is 7.5." "I worked so hard in the heat today and I got so little sleep
last night. I'm going to bed early. See you in the morning." I'm crabby and
hungry. I bet I need some protein; I haven't had any all day. I'll grab a
piece of cheese." Out loud. Not directed at them, but at yourself. They just
get to hear your thinking.
Do *you* go to bed when you're tired? Or will you stay up to watch the end
of a movie? Model the behavior you'd like them to have. Works like a charm!
<G> Well, I guess we all have to keep in mind that we're all different. Some
need late night hours; some need 10 hours to feel best; some need 4 hours! But
overall.....
Rarely is anyone up past midnight at out house. If anyone is, it's me! But
the boys often see me go to bed at 8:30 if I need to. They also see me take
naps. And they do too if they need them!
Tired-out-loud and modeling.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stanclan@... writes:
Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an agreement
about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's
the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. I tried to
explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and
that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitate
this or trust that
they will come to it on their own? <<<<
They WILL come to it on their own, but pointing things out to them isn't a
bad idea. NOT over and over, and preferably NOT when they're tired and grumpy.
When you're talking about what a body needs.
What do *you* do? Can you turn the tube off when you're tired? I went to bed
last night at 10:00 while Duncan and Ben watched _The Invisible Man_. I was
tired, so I went to bed. I stated it out loud. "I'm pooped. I'm going on to
bed." The more they see you do it, the more it makes sense to them. (Now, two
nights ago, I stayed up until 3:30. I'm not very bedtime-oriented! <g>)
It's hard, as a kid, to understand why children have to go to bed when
they're not tired but that parents/grown ups can stay up all night---even when
they have to work the next day. Adults will say that they just need some "down
time"---some time to themselves to unwind, and that's why children need to go
to bed. But that sends the wrong message. If children see YOU retiring when
you're tired, they want to too. If they see you trying to stay up as long as
you can, wellllll....... Not to mention how they must feel being "gotten rid
of" so that their parents can watch tv "in peace". OR that they turn off
their own biological needs because they're forcing themselves to sleep when
they're not tired.
Just like "Math-out-loud", you can use "Tired-out-loud". <G>
"Hungry-out-loud" is a good one too! <G>
TELL them how *you* have come to these conclusions."15% of 100 is 15, so 15%
of 50 is 7.5." "I worked so hard in the heat today and I got so little sleep
last night. I'm going to bed early. See you in the morning." I'm crabby and
hungry. I bet I need some protein; I haven't had any all day. I'll grab a
piece of cheese." Out loud. Not directed at them, but at yourself. They just
get to hear your thinking.
Do *you* go to bed when you're tired? Or will you stay up to watch the end
of a movie? Model the behavior you'd like them to have. Works like a charm!
<G> Well, I guess we all have to keep in mind that we're all different. Some
need late night hours; some need 10 hours to feel best; some need 4 hours! But
overall.....
Rarely is anyone up past midnight at out house. If anyone is, it's me! But
the boys often see me go to bed at 8:30 if I need to. They also see me take
naps. And they do too if they need them!
Tired-out-loud and modeling.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
J. Stauffer
<<<<< I tried to explain
old shows so long.
When we went to no limits on tv, my then 9yo watched tv non-stop for 4
months. Now 4 years later, she works out 16 hours a week, has a part-time
job, reads books, cares for about 15 animals, socializes with
friends......and watches some tv.
You guys have been doing this a short-time. Don't worry about screwing him
up for life (what pressure!!!). Give the kids and yourselves 1 year. Tell
yourself you will completely let go for 1 year and will re-assess at that
time. See how it goes then, don't worry now.
Every time your son feels you tense up about the tv or bedtimes, he feels
like it is fixing to be taken away and he better get it all in while he can.
Relax and take a family sabbatical.
Julie S.
> to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching andthat
> sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitatethis or trust that
> they will come to it on their own? >>>>>>Trust them. and trust the fact that you can only watch re-runs of the same
old shows so long.
When we went to no limits on tv, my then 9yo watched tv non-stop for 4
months. Now 4 years later, she works out 16 hours a week, has a part-time
job, reads books, cares for about 15 animals, socializes with
friends......and watches some tv.
You guys have been doing this a short-time. Don't worry about screwing him
up for life (what pressure!!!). Give the kids and yourselves 1 year. Tell
yourself you will completely let go for 1 year and will re-assess at that
time. See how it goes then, don't worry now.
Every time your son feels you tense up about the tv or bedtimes, he feels
like it is fixing to be taken away and he better get it all in while he can.
Relax and take a family sabbatical.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "stancland" <stanclan@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2004 11:06 PM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Re: Bedtime (might/should be TV really)
> --- In [email protected], "J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@g...>
wrote:
> > <<<tell me what's right about it>>>
> >
> >>>> I think it would be easier for you to tell us what you feel is wrong
about
> > your sons staying up late.>>>
>
> Well, I guess, I have always been told that it just isn't good and other
people have
> always made me feel like I was somehow flawed being this way myself,
including my
> husband. (Until I read him Sandras post about the tribes and
night-watchmen) <g>
>
> >>> In what way is the boys' staying up effecting them or the family in a
> > negative manner right now?>>>>
>
> Eric is crabby and Alex is lethargic with no energy to do anything else
but stare at the
> tv some more. They used to play so creatively when we did not turn the TV
on during
> the day. And I am stressed that I may be screwing them up for life! <g>
>
> Funny, when Alex finally came down this afternoon, fully dressed, at
around 2pm, he
> said to me, "I'm never going to do that again." I asked him why and he
said he didn't
> like getting up so late in the day. However, his brother went swimming
today at the
> neighbors house and Alex just decided to turn that TV back on again and he
is still in
> front of it now. (8pm) I feel as though he just can't help himself.
>
> Ya know, as I am "writing" this through, I am realizing it's the tv thing
that bothers me
> so much. For a long time, when they had a "bedtime", all we asked was
that they get
> ready for bed and be in their rooms. They could play quietly, read or
what ever until
> they were tired (they don't have TV's in their rooms). This didn't bother
me at all.
> And often, Alex would be up past 11, but never until 4:30am which by the
way, he
> told me, is how late he stayed up last night.
>
> Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an
agreement about
> a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's
the TV that
> keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. I tried
to explain
> to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and
that
> sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. Do I facilitate
this or trust that
> they will come to it on their own?
>
> Keep talking everyone, it's helping lots. My husband read these posts and
I could see
> him becoming more relaxed and calmer about it immediately. And when he
does, so
> can I! <g>
>
> Thanx,
> Arlene, Oregon
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
AM Brown
>Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an agreement aboutThis worked for us. We just talked about TV and its effects and my girls decided what would work for them and it happened to be less TV. That seemed to break the 'spell' and now we use TV in a way that seems to work better for all of us.
>a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It seems to me that it's the TV that
>keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them.
Anna
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/04 6:20:02 AM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:
<< It seems to me that it's
the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. >>
It might for a while, but it won't for their whole lives.
For people who've been scheduled and managed, they've learned to ignore what
their body "maybe be trying to tell them." For those who are allowed to
really feel what their bodies are saying, they know what sleepy and hungry feel
like without looking at a clock to see whether they are justified in those
feelings.
Sandra
<< It seems to me that it's
the TV that
keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying to tell them. >>
It might for a while, but it won't for their whole lives.
For people who've been scheduled and managed, they've learned to ignore what
their body "maybe be trying to tell them." For those who are allowed to
really feel what their bodies are saying, they know what sleepy and hungry feel
like without looking at a clock to see whether they are justified in those
feelings.
Sandra
Dana Matt
> Would it be counterproductive of me to ask thatI just wanted to tell you how we do it...
> we/they come to an agreement
> about
> a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? It
> seems to me that it's
> the TV that
> keeps them up beyond what their body may be trying
> to tell them. I tried to
> explain
> to Alex that there will always be something on he
> will enjoy watching and
> that
> sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it
> off. Do I facilitate
> this or trust that
> they will come to it on their own? <<<<
The kids watch TV in the playroom, or play computer
games or playstation or read of craft or whatever in
the evening. I am usually in bed by 9, and watch TV
until 10:30 or 11....When they get tired, they come
into my bed and settle in (they are almost 12 and
6)--we program the TV to change channels to what they
want to watch, then set the timer to turn itself off
in 80 minutes or whatever. So I fall alseep, they
watch another 1/2 hour or hour or 2 or whatever until
they fall alseep, and if they need more they just put
more on the timer, but that keeps us from having to
get up to shut it off. I think they are usually
alseep by 12:30 or 1. There is no time they have to
leave their evening ativities, there is no time they
have to stop watching tv, they just listen to their
bodies and come to bed when they're tired. We have
always worked it this way, or some similar way...
Dana
in Montana
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Vote for the stars of Yahoo!'s next ad campaign!
http://advision.webevents.yahoo.com/yahoo/votelifeengine/
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/04 6:20:02 AM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:
<<
Just like "Math-out-loud", you can use "Tired-out-loud". <G>
"Hungry-out-loud" is a good one too! <G> >>
We've been keeping a baby, who was delivered here some mornings at 7:45, and
sometimes 8:15 (different different days), and so every morning for two weeks
I was getting up very early. She's not here today. So yesterday afternoon I
was doing the happy dance about not having to get up early the next day,
"Don't wake me up, let me sleep!" and I was honestly giddy.
Then I remembered Marty had a 9:00 a.m. doctor's appointment, so I
dramatically grumped and whined and everybody laughed.
So we got up and went to the doctor.
The baby we usually keep was there, with her dad. Someone at the counter
said, "OH what a cute baby!" and I look around and it's Alexa. (Albuquerque is
really NOT that small a town.) That was fun.
But anyway, last night I went to bed at 10:30, telling people as I went,
"Please feed the cats, I'm going to bed because I have to get up to take Marty to
the doctor," and "Don't forget this'n'that, I'm going to bed." They knew I'd
been up too early too much for my recent habits. They were all very
cooperative.
Today Kirby doesn't work, Holly has to be somewhere before noon (but she's
walking), and Marty's already back from the doctor. We all try to know what
the others need and want and have promised, so we can help each other have quiet
time, and not oversleep. Everyone seems fairly aware of when everyone else
needs to be up and gone. It's working pretty well to just discuss things, make
notes on the calendar and be try to be considerate.
I've seen some families where it seems almost entrapment, that others seem
gleeful if someone oversleeps, or if they forget to do something. It's mean.
Here, we don't want the others to miss out on good stuff!
Sandra
<<
Just like "Math-out-loud", you can use "Tired-out-loud". <G>
"Hungry-out-loud" is a good one too! <G> >>
We've been keeping a baby, who was delivered here some mornings at 7:45, and
sometimes 8:15 (different different days), and so every morning for two weeks
I was getting up very early. She's not here today. So yesterday afternoon I
was doing the happy dance about not having to get up early the next day,
"Don't wake me up, let me sleep!" and I was honestly giddy.
Then I remembered Marty had a 9:00 a.m. doctor's appointment, so I
dramatically grumped and whined and everybody laughed.
So we got up and went to the doctor.
The baby we usually keep was there, with her dad. Someone at the counter
said, "OH what a cute baby!" and I look around and it's Alexa. (Albuquerque is
really NOT that small a town.) That was fun.
But anyway, last night I went to bed at 10:30, telling people as I went,
"Please feed the cats, I'm going to bed because I have to get up to take Marty to
the doctor," and "Don't forget this'n'that, I'm going to bed." They knew I'd
been up too early too much for my recent habits. They were all very
cooperative.
Today Kirby doesn't work, Holly has to be somewhere before noon (but she's
walking), and Marty's already back from the doctor. We all try to know what
the others need and want and have promised, so we can help each other have quiet
time, and not oversleep. Everyone seems fairly aware of when everyone else
needs to be up and gone. It's working pretty well to just discuss things, make
notes on the calendar and be try to be considerate.
I've seen some families where it seems almost entrapment, that others seem
gleeful if someone oversleeps, or if they forget to do something. It's mean.
Here, we don't want the others to miss out on good stuff!
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/22/04 10:07:37 PM, stanclan@... writes:
<< Funny, when Alex finally came down this afternoon, fully dressed, at
around 2pm, he
said to me, "I'm never going to do that again." I asked him why and he said
he didn't
like getting up so late in the day. However, his brother went swimming today
at the
neighbors house and Alex just decided to turn that TV back on again and he is
still in
front of it now. (8pm) I feel as though he just can't help himself.
That sounds harsh, I bet, but if you try to get him to make decisions based
on your vague feelings (which are probably built out of the negative messages
of many people who criticized you throughout your life), he's NOT going to be
making decisions the way you ultimately hope he will.
If he's just said "I'm never going to do that again," that doesn't mean he's
never going to do it again. it means he has regrets. Regrets help us shape
our own actions. Don't mess with his natural regrets! Let him feel those
emotions and results and experiment with different ways and settle on something
that's right for HIS own real emotions and HIS own real thoughts. Don't
encourage him to live to make you happy. Don't wait until You think HE is happy for
you to be happy. That can lead toward unhealthy co-dependency.
-=-Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an
agreement about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? -=-
If what you're going to accept as "reasonable" will have to do with the clock
instead of with whether they would rather have quiet than TV, rather read,
rather sleep, then I think it's counterproductive.
-=- I tried to explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and
that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. -=-
You tried to "explain" something that was false.
There will NOT always be something on that he will enjoy watching.
And the "sometimes" you need to walk away is a natural thing. Sometimes he
will need the bathroom, to eat, to visit friends, to ride a bike, to swim at
the neighbor's, to go to a movie, to run with his dog, to read a book or do art
or cook or take a shower or climb a mountain. THAT is when he just needs to
walk away or turn it off.
If at a moment in his life what's on TV is speaking to him, making his
synapses fire, satisfying a need in him, than that is not the time to turn it off.
You're not in his head.
And if you want him to listen to his head more than your voice, let him
listen to it.
His head will be with him his whole life. Your voice will be a part of his
subconscious his whole life too. Do you want it to be a welcome voice? Don't
you want your voice in his memory to be something he WANTS to listen to and
that makes good sense and is loving instead of something he avoids replaying as
he's older?
Sandra
<< Funny, when Alex finally came down this afternoon, fully dressed, at
around 2pm, he
said to me, "I'm never going to do that again." I asked him why and he said
he didn't
like getting up so late in the day. However, his brother went swimming today
at the
neighbors house and Alex just decided to turn that TV back on again and he is
still in
front of it now. (8pm) I feel as though he just can't help himself.
>>Try to keep your feelings out of it.
That sounds harsh, I bet, but if you try to get him to make decisions based
on your vague feelings (which are probably built out of the negative messages
of many people who criticized you throughout your life), he's NOT going to be
making decisions the way you ultimately hope he will.
If he's just said "I'm never going to do that again," that doesn't mean he's
never going to do it again. it means he has regrets. Regrets help us shape
our own actions. Don't mess with his natural regrets! Let him feel those
emotions and results and experiment with different ways and settle on something
that's right for HIS own real emotions and HIS own real thoughts. Don't
encourage him to live to make you happy. Don't wait until You think HE is happy for
you to be happy. That can lead toward unhealthy co-dependency.
-=-Would it be counterproductive of me to ask that we/they come to an
agreement about
a what is a reasonable time to turn off the TV? -=-
If what you're going to accept as "reasonable" will have to do with the clock
instead of with whether they would rather have quiet than TV, rather read,
rather sleep, then I think it's counterproductive.
-=- I tried to explain
to Alex that there will always be something on he will enjoy watching and
that
sometimes, you just need to walk away, or turn it off. -=-
You tried to "explain" something that was false.
There will NOT always be something on that he will enjoy watching.
And the "sometimes" you need to walk away is a natural thing. Sometimes he
will need the bathroom, to eat, to visit friends, to ride a bike, to swim at
the neighbor's, to go to a movie, to run with his dog, to read a book or do art
or cook or take a shower or climb a mountain. THAT is when he just needs to
walk away or turn it off.
If at a moment in his life what's on TV is speaking to him, making his
synapses fire, satisfying a need in him, than that is not the time to turn it off.
You're not in his head.
And if you want him to listen to his head more than your voice, let him
listen to it.
His head will be with him his whole life. Your voice will be a part of his
subconscious his whole life too. Do you want it to be a welcome voice? Don't
you want your voice in his memory to be something he WANTS to listen to and
that makes good sense and is loving instead of something he avoids replaying as
he's older?
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/22/04 10:32:47 PM, stanclan@... writes:
<< I love the night time hours. I too, like the quiet, stillness and now
that you mention
it, that IS when I do most of my creative work. And my Alex (8), is very
very much like
me in that he is artistic and tenacious when it comes to learning new things.
And it's easier to concentrate on a project, for me, when I'm sure nobody's
going to call or come over anymore, no kid is going to want a ride (though
those things CAN happen in the middle of the night, it's extremely rare and
emergecy-related).
Here's something about late-night activities here:
http://sandradodd.com/latenightlearning
Sandra
<< I love the night time hours. I too, like the quiet, stillness and now
that you mention
it, that IS when I do most of my creative work. And my Alex (8), is very
very much like
me in that he is artistic and tenacious when it comes to learning new things.
>>My kids have often asked the BEST questions late at night.
And it's easier to concentrate on a project, for me, when I'm sure nobody's
going to call or come over anymore, no kid is going to want a ride (though
those things CAN happen in the middle of the night, it's extremely rare and
emergecy-related).
Here's something about late-night activities here:
http://sandradodd.com/latenightlearning
Sandra
stancland
--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
daily until I don't remember it being an issue anymore.
Your statement above sent chills down my spine! I hear my parents voices in my head
as yucky demeaning, yelling, disapproving, all the time. That is NOT what I want my
children to experience!
I've made enough mistakes with them that I already feel guilt over. I wish not to
make any more!
Thanx so much.
Arlene, Oregon
>>>> His head will be with him his whole life. Your voice will be a part of hisYour whole post was wonderful, thank you! I will be printing it out and reading it
> subconscious his whole life too. Do you want it to be a welcome voice? Don't
> you want your voice in his memory to be something he WANTS to listen to and
> that makes good sense and is loving instead of something he avoids replaying as
> he's older.<<<<<<
daily until I don't remember it being an issue anymore.
Your statement above sent chills down my spine! I hear my parents voices in my head
as yucky demeaning, yelling, disapproving, all the time. That is NOT what I want my
children to experience!
I've made enough mistakes with them that I already feel guilt over. I wish not to
make any more!
Thanx so much.
Arlene, Oregon
Marti G
Wow. What a wonderful, fabulously helpful statement. This really gave
me some new framework within which to talk with my girls... really
helps clarify (to me) more about how to talk with them about things.
Wow. Thanks for these words. I want to be a kind helpful pleasant
voice in their heads, not the nagging one that provokes them to call a
therapist...
--
Marti G
Wife to Chris, Mom to four girls
Smithsburg MD
me some new framework within which to talk with my girls... really
helps clarify (to me) more about how to talk with them about things.
Wow. Thanks for these words. I want to be a kind helpful pleasant
voice in their heads, not the nagging one that provokes them to call a
therapist...
--
Marti G
Wife to Chris, Mom to four girls
Smithsburg MD
----- Original Message -----
From: sandradodd@... <sandradodd@...>
Don't you want your voice in his memory to be something he WANTS to
listen to and that makes good sense and is loving instead of something
he avoids replaying as he's older?
Sandra
pam sorooshian
Have a blank videotape in the VCR ready to tape - make it really simple
so all they have to do is press the record button. Tell them that when
they get sleepy, but don't want to miss the show they're watching, they
can just push record and then they'll be able to watch it when they
wake up.
Make them really comfortable on the floor or couch - blankets and
pillows.
Make sure other lights are turned off and there isn't other noise
(other than tv) going on.
Wait until between shows and call them to come have a story all cuddled
up in their bed.
These are all things I've done in the past to sort of boost my kids'
ability to fall asleep when they are tired but forcing themselves to
stay awake and watch one more show. The reason they do that is partly
because they show a little clip of the next show, at the end of the
previous one, and they get hooked. This was usually Nick-at-Night and
they're watching Cosby or Roseanne or whatever is on late.
Nowadays - Rosie routinely falls asleep reading or watching tv - every
night. So I just throw a blanket over her and she sleeps all night
wherever she fell asleep. Roya falls asleep every night listening to
books on cd and Roxana listens to music (musical theater) every night.
-pam
so all they have to do is press the record button. Tell them that when
they get sleepy, but don't want to miss the show they're watching, they
can just push record and then they'll be able to watch it when they
wake up.
Make them really comfortable on the floor or couch - blankets and
pillows.
Make sure other lights are turned off and there isn't other noise
(other than tv) going on.
Wait until between shows and call them to come have a story all cuddled
up in their bed.
These are all things I've done in the past to sort of boost my kids'
ability to fall asleep when they are tired but forcing themselves to
stay awake and watch one more show. The reason they do that is partly
because they show a little clip of the next show, at the end of the
previous one, and they get hooked. This was usually Nick-at-Night and
they're watching Cosby or Roseanne or whatever is on late.
Nowadays - Rosie routinely falls asleep reading or watching tv - every
night. So I just throw a blanket over her and she sleeps all night
wherever she fell asleep. Roya falls asleep every night listening to
books on cd and Roxana listens to music (musical theater) every night.
-pam
On Jul 23, 2004, at 4:46 AM, kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> They WILL come to it on their own, but pointing things out to them
> isn't a
> bad idea. NOT over and over, and preferably NOT when they're tired and
> grumpy.
> When you're talking about what a body needs.
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
pam sorooshian
On Jul 23, 2004, at 7:49 AM, SandraDodd@... wrote:
they made the choice - not powerless.
Roxana is in an intensive theater conservatory summer program - they
meet 9 to 5 every day - and we have to leave an hour beforehand to get
there on time. It is physically exhausting - nonstop singing and
dancing. She's tired. During the first week or so, she chose to get up
late and throw her clothes on and get out the door having eaten
nothing. Food doesn't appeal to her for the first hour out of bed. Some
days they didn't have time for lunch. She was really going downhill -
getting harder and harder to get along with every day - feeling low. I
mentioned food to her - saying I thought she should consider having
something ready to eat in the car on the way there, offering to get
whatever she would like. She turned me down with a grimace and I
dropped it. The THIRD week of conservatory I noticed she was bringing
food along in the car, nibbling at it, and wrapping it up and putting
the leftovers in her bag. She was a LOT happier - it made a huge
difference.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> For people who've been scheduled and managed, they've learned toAnd they might still choose sleepy or hungry - but they'll know/feel
> ignore what
> their body "maybe be trying to tell them." For those who are allowed
> to
> really feel what their bodies are saying, they know what sleepy and
> hungry feel
> like without looking at a clock to see whether they are justified in
> those
> feelings.
they made the choice - not powerless.
Roxana is in an intensive theater conservatory summer program - they
meet 9 to 5 every day - and we have to leave an hour beforehand to get
there on time. It is physically exhausting - nonstop singing and
dancing. She's tired. During the first week or so, she chose to get up
late and throw her clothes on and get out the door having eaten
nothing. Food doesn't appeal to her for the first hour out of bed. Some
days they didn't have time for lunch. She was really going downhill -
getting harder and harder to get along with every day - feeling low. I
mentioned food to her - saying I thought she should consider having
something ready to eat in the car on the way there, offering to get
whatever she would like. She turned me down with a grimace and I
dropped it. The THIRD week of conservatory I noticed she was bringing
food along in the car, nibbling at it, and wrapping it up and putting
the leftovers in her bag. She was a LOT happier - it made a huge
difference.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
Dana Matt
--- pam sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
Dana
in Montana
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
> Have a blank videotape in the VCR ready to tape -Or get Tivo--makes it much easier ;)
> make it really simple
> so all they have to do is press the record button.
> Tell them that when
> they get sleepy, but don't want to miss the show
> they're watching, they
> can just push record and then they'll be able to
> watch it when they
> wake up.
Dana
in Montana
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/2004 12:38:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
my mother being a chaperone-band camp, in...8th grade, I think...
I can remember walking down the hallway of the college dorm we were staying
at, my shoe untied, and thinking how COOL it was that I could actually walk
with that floppy, clacking noise without my mother ranting about it-I could be my
OWN person! But, every step I took, I heard my mother's voice in my head
telling me to, "Tie that shoe" "Tie that shoe!" I listened to that voice for
probably 20 steps before I said outloud in an empty corridor, "ALL RIGHT!!" and
bent down and tied my shoe. Gone was my sense of independence and pretty much my
good mood for the rest of the day, too...
Peace,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> His head will be with him his whole life. Your voice will be a part of hisThat makes me think of one of the first times I went on a school trip without
>
> subconscious his whole life too. Do you want it to be a welcome voice?
my mother being a chaperone-band camp, in...8th grade, I think...
I can remember walking down the hallway of the college dorm we were staying
at, my shoe untied, and thinking how COOL it was that I could actually walk
with that floppy, clacking noise without my mother ranting about it-I could be my
OWN person! But, every step I took, I heard my mother's voice in my head
telling me to, "Tie that shoe" "Tie that shoe!" I listened to that voice for
probably 20 steps before I said outloud in an empty corridor, "ALL RIGHT!!" and
bent down and tied my shoe. Gone was my sense of independence and pretty much my
good mood for the rest of the day, too...
Peace,
Sang
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]