Father is anti-homeschooling
[email protected]
Sorry if I am on more then one list as some of you and you've recieved this
twice!
I have an out of state friend who wants to homeschool her 2 children, ages 4
and 2. Her 4 year old barely misses their states cut off date for school. Her
husband is anti-homeschooling, but is "giving" her this next year to "prove"
to him that homeschooling is the best choice for their children.
Now, my question is this, has anyone dealt with a highly reluctant spouse
when it comes to homeschooling? Does anyone have an recomendations, articles
on the subjects, similar experiences, etc? She wants to keep her children
from having to ever be put into the school system. Her husband wants the
children to be put into a private school. To make matters worse she thought
he was starting to warm to homeschooling when someone her husband greatly
respects lectured to him against homeschooling. He's now more set against it
then before.
Help!!?!!
Kimberly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
twice!
I have an out of state friend who wants to homeschool her 2 children, ages 4
and 2. Her 4 year old barely misses their states cut off date for school. Her
husband is anti-homeschooling, but is "giving" her this next year to "prove"
to him that homeschooling is the best choice for their children.
Now, my question is this, has anyone dealt with a highly reluctant spouse
when it comes to homeschooling? Does anyone have an recomendations, articles
on the subjects, similar experiences, etc? She wants to keep her children
from having to ever be put into the school system. Her husband wants the
children to be put into a private school. To make matters worse she thought
he was starting to warm to homeschooling when someone her husband greatly
respects lectured to him against homeschooling. He's now more set against it
then before.
Help!!?!!
Kimberly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Castle Crawford
My husband was against homeschooling from the start, but soon changed his mind. I know that he has not read the first article about it, or spoken with anyone that does homeschool. Part of my help came from the fact that our families are SO against homeschooling. For some reason, 'defying' our family was a big attraction for him...
Another point in my favor was when I got the list of "what your kindergartener needs to know to get to first grade". Even by the age of 3, our oldest had all of it but the ability to recognize and express rhyming words. At some point last year, he began spouting off ragged poetry and we both looked at each other and said, "Well, I guess kindergarten is done..." There was a peace about knowing the approach we were using was letting him really enjoy learning AND keeping him above 'grade level'. (I know this is a sore topic with unschooling, but anyone who has to 'prove' themselves to a spouse or other person to get support from them has to resort to such tactics at times.)
The last big point in my favor came rather recently when I suggested I teach the kids on Thursday and Friday and he can take over for Saturday and Sunday. They are still quite young and I don't totally unschool yet, plus we have to account for our time with the cover school. I enjoy very much directing their attention to various subjects, talking with them and sharing new things. I follow their interests and do as much as I can to help them explore and learn. I tend to lean toward more reading and making (sculpting, drawing, painting) and I love nature studies and sciences. My husband is very musical, tends to be much more physical and loves to find out how and why.
When the prospect for being responsible for 1/2 of their 'school week' hit him, he became very quiet and I could HEAR the wheels clicking in his brain. He suddenly came up with several suggestions, started reading a borrowed copy of a Charlotte Mason guide and his whole outlook changed.
I think what may have to happen for your friend is that she will have to talk to her husband about what is best for their children, NOT what some outsider-no matter how respected he is-thinks is best. She will have plenty of facts to support her, I suggest she joins a local support group to get some 'physical' backing and proof that the kids will not become social outcasts and that homeschooled kids are normal (even if they are freakishly friendly and polite).
Maybe she could find a way for him to get involved. She could point out the benefiets HE would get -vacation any time anywhere without worrying about school schedules. Much less illness without a child bringing in every version of the latest virus home. Less hassle with clothing, no worries about what is in style or school dress codes.
There are plenty more, but she will have to read his cues about what he wants to hear. I have no doubt her children's progress will destroy any doubts he is having and they will be homeschooling from now on.
Esther
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Another point in my favor was when I got the list of "what your kindergartener needs to know to get to first grade". Even by the age of 3, our oldest had all of it but the ability to recognize and express rhyming words. At some point last year, he began spouting off ragged poetry and we both looked at each other and said, "Well, I guess kindergarten is done..." There was a peace about knowing the approach we were using was letting him really enjoy learning AND keeping him above 'grade level'. (I know this is a sore topic with unschooling, but anyone who has to 'prove' themselves to a spouse or other person to get support from them has to resort to such tactics at times.)
The last big point in my favor came rather recently when I suggested I teach the kids on Thursday and Friday and he can take over for Saturday and Sunday. They are still quite young and I don't totally unschool yet, plus we have to account for our time with the cover school. I enjoy very much directing their attention to various subjects, talking with them and sharing new things. I follow their interests and do as much as I can to help them explore and learn. I tend to lean toward more reading and making (sculpting, drawing, painting) and I love nature studies and sciences. My husband is very musical, tends to be much more physical and loves to find out how and why.
When the prospect for being responsible for 1/2 of their 'school week' hit him, he became very quiet and I could HEAR the wheels clicking in his brain. He suddenly came up with several suggestions, started reading a borrowed copy of a Charlotte Mason guide and his whole outlook changed.
I think what may have to happen for your friend is that she will have to talk to her husband about what is best for their children, NOT what some outsider-no matter how respected he is-thinks is best. She will have plenty of facts to support her, I suggest she joins a local support group to get some 'physical' backing and proof that the kids will not become social outcasts and that homeschooled kids are normal (even if they are freakishly friendly and polite).
Maybe she could find a way for him to get involved. She could point out the benefiets HE would get -vacation any time anywhere without worrying about school schedules. Much less illness without a child bringing in every version of the latest virus home. Less hassle with clothing, no worries about what is in style or school dress codes.
There are plenty more, but she will have to read his cues about what he wants to hear. I have no doubt her children's progress will destroy any doubts he is having and they will be homeschooling from now on.
Esther
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I might ask what "proof" is needed. My neighbor suggested that someone
do a long term study of homeschool vs public school children. What would
you compare? College graduation? Lifetime earnings? Marital status? (#
of divorces, etc.) Physical health? Level of debt? SAT scores? (we
already know the answer to that one!) What if the real answer to which
method is better is to compare rates of self-satisfaction (ie., how much
do the people enjoy living and how do they feel about the choices they
have made in their lives) at 20, 30, 40, etc.?
Perhaps she should give her dh a year to "prove" that ps would be better.
Mary Ellen
snip>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Her
husband is anti-homeschooling, but is "giving" her this next year to
"prove"
to him that homeschooling is the best choice for their children.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
do a long term study of homeschool vs public school children. What would
you compare? College graduation? Lifetime earnings? Marital status? (#
of divorces, etc.) Physical health? Level of debt? SAT scores? (we
already know the answer to that one!) What if the real answer to which
method is better is to compare rates of self-satisfaction (ie., how much
do the people enjoy living and how do they feel about the choices they
have made in their lives) at 20, 30, 40, etc.?
Perhaps she should give her dh a year to "prove" that ps would be better.
Mary Ellen
snip>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Her
husband is anti-homeschooling, but is "giving" her this next year to
"prove"
to him that homeschooling is the best choice for their children.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
A
I would have the father meet some grown up or teen homeschoolers if they know
any.
While my husband wasn't against homeschooling, he was sort of reluctant. He had
not done (and still hasn't) all the reading I have done.
As soon as he met some teenagers that came here for dinner though, he was
converted! He was so impressed with how "real" they were. They didn't have all
the usual teen hang ups.
Just a thought...
Ann
Homeschool4us123@... wrote:
any.
While my husband wasn't against homeschooling, he was sort of reluctant. He had
not done (and still hasn't) all the reading I have done.
As soon as he met some teenagers that came here for dinner though, he was
converted! He was so impressed with how "real" they were. They didn't have all
the usual teen hang ups.
Just a thought...
Ann
Homeschool4us123@... wrote:
> Sorry if I am on more then one list as some of you and you've recieved this
> twice!
>
> I have an out of state friend who wants to homeschool her 2 children, ages 4
> and 2. Her 4 year old barely misses their states cut off date for school. Her
> husband is anti-homeschooling, but is "giving" her this next year to "prove"
> to him that homeschooling is the best choice for their children.
>
> Now, my question is this, has anyone dealt with a highly reluctant spouse
> when it comes to homeschooling? Does anyone have an recomendations, articles
> on the subjects, similar experiences, etc? She wants to keep her children
> from having to ever be put into the school system. Her husband wants the
> children to be put into a private school. To make matters worse she thought
> he was starting to warm to homeschooling when someone her husband greatly
> respects lectured to him against homeschooling. He's now more set against it
> then before.
>
> Help!!?!!
>
> Kimberly
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[email protected]
I have lived this one too.
She needs to stay strong and just do it anyway. He is going to have to just
accept it and with time, he will. I put my son in kindergarten against my
wishes only to take him out a couple years later. She just needs to put her
foot down and tell him this is the way it is and go ahead and make the
notification to the school. She is not going to hurt her marriage by doing
this, but she just needs to be strong about it. Her children are SO YOUNG!
Kids just need the love of their parents. They will learn what they need in
time. Having lived this myself, she just needs to be relentless about doing
this and not waver because he will just pick up that she does not know what
she is doing.
Mary
She needs to stay strong and just do it anyway. He is going to have to just
accept it and with time, he will. I put my son in kindergarten against my
wishes only to take him out a couple years later. She just needs to put her
foot down and tell him this is the way it is and go ahead and make the
notification to the school. She is not going to hurt her marriage by doing
this, but she just needs to be strong about it. Her children are SO YOUNG!
Kids just need the love of their parents. They will learn what they need in
time. Having lived this myself, she just needs to be relentless about doing
this and not waver because he will just pick up that she does not know what
she is doing.
Mary
Julie Stauffer
My dh was against hsing initially. He was sure only religious fanatics and
hippies didn't send their kids to school each day. I informed him that if a
1yo teaches himself to walk and a 2yo teaches himself English, why in the
world couldn't our quite bright children learn in an environment other than
school?
I also put my foot down that I refused to participate in an activity that I
thought was harmful to my children. If he wanted them to go to school, he
would have to handle it, registering, shots, homework, arranging pick-up for
half-days, etc.. That really got his attention. It just seemed easier (to
him) to go with the flow until he was going to be the one paddling the
canoe.
We decided to take it like we do anything else. As long as things are
working for us, great. If things change, we may change our minds but right
now, we are on our 4th year and loving every minute of it.
Julie
hippies didn't send their kids to school each day. I informed him that if a
1yo teaches himself to walk and a 2yo teaches himself English, why in the
world couldn't our quite bright children learn in an environment other than
school?
I also put my foot down that I refused to participate in an activity that I
thought was harmful to my children. If he wanted them to go to school, he
would have to handle it, registering, shots, homework, arranging pick-up for
half-days, etc.. That really got his attention. It just seemed easier (to
him) to go with the flow until he was going to be the one paddling the
canoe.
We decided to take it like we do anything else. As long as things are
working for us, great. If things change, we may change our minds but right
now, we are on our 4th year and loving every minute of it.
Julie