Karen Hoogland

My dh and I have had many, many discussions on having kids with many
relatives and friends. Most of them think we are NUTS for choosing to raise
our children ourselves. (Of course, they also say we are nuts for
homeschooling, having eight pets and living in a house they think is too
small!!)

Personally, I do NOT understand why people have kids and then leave them in
daycare for 10+ hours a day. This makes no sense....get them up early, drop
them at daycare, pick them up after work, stuff some dinner into them and
put them in bed. I do NOT understand why people have kids when they do not
intend to ever be with them!!

I believe if you choose to have children you should realize this is a HUGE
committment....both in time and energy. I would NEVER have had kids if I
KNEW I was going to place them into someone else's hands five days a week,
10-12 hours a day.

I do realize that some families have children, intending for one parent to
be home with them....then something happens and the parents must work. I am
not speaking of these families. I have so many relatives that work to
supply the THINGS they WANT in their lives. When all is said and done, it
does not matter how big your house is, how many fancy cars you have. I
believe what matters is how you have raised your children. If you child is
with someone for the majority of their waking hours, he/she will learn the
values of the person they are with , NOT their parents.

I think it is pretty sad when a baby knows a caretaker better than her/his
own parents. I have seen this over and over.....I watched a little girl for
50+ hours a week. One weekend, I was at THEIR home for a party...the little
girl fell....she would NOT go to her parents for comfort...she came to ME.
Isn't there something wrong with that picture? I suppose I should have been
flattered that this little one trusted me so much...but shouldn't it be her
MOTHER or FATHER that she seeks out for comfort? Incidentally...the mom
quit her job three weeks later to be with her daughter!

No, not everyone is cut out to be a full time mom or dad. But I don't think
everyone is cut out to be a parent either. I am blessed to have been able
to be home with my children for the last ten and a half years. I am given
the full support of my husband....this is where I belong. Never, ever,
would I give my 'job' to someone else!! When people ask me "When are you
going to get a job?" I remind them firmly that I HAVE a job...it is just
not paid in the traditional way!!

Have a good day!!

Karen




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Karen & David Hoogland �
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Joseph A. & Susan D. Fuerst

When all is said and done, it
>does not matter how big your house is, how many fancy cars you have. I
>believe what matters is how you have raised your children. >


Karen,
This reminds me of a wise saying I once heard and try to always remember:
What difference will it make in one hundred years....what kind of house you
lived in and what kind of cars you drove? What will make a difference in one
hundred years is your presence in the life of a child.
Susan

Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

>Most of them think we are NUTS for choosing to raise
>our children ourselves.

Our relatives think that we are crazy for homeschooling, unschooling,
living in a "small" house, adopting an older child, not caring about
"career advancement" as long as DH is happy with his job, etc.

>No, not everyone is cut out to be a full time mom or dad. But I don't think
>everyone is cut out to be a parent either. I am blessed to have been able
>to be home with my children for the last ten and a half years. I am given
>the full support of my husband....this is where I belong. Never, ever,
>would I give my 'job' to someone else!! When people ask me "When are you
>going to get a job?" I remind them firmly that I HAVE a job...it is just
>not paid in the traditional way!!
>Karen

Hear Hear! I completely agree! We see so many folks doing things that are
negligent, careless and downright dangerous with their children. We just
shake our heads and sigh. Our favorite refrain is "I guess they must have
spares" because the families around here tend to be large and closely
spaced. Some people should not only not be trusted with other people's
children, but are not fit to be trusted with their own.

A family near here recently lost two sons (10 and 13) to a terrible
tragedy. The boys had built a Cave/Tunnel/Hide Out in a gravel pile at a
nearby landfill and it caved in on them. The parents say they had told the
boys "again and again" to stay away from there, but I had to wonder where
they thought these kids were spending all of their time. Didn't they
wonder when they were gone for hours and hours during the afternoons
building this thing? Didn't they keep tabs on where their kids were? That
tunnel was not dug overnight, or even in a week. They had it shored up and
were spending time there with another boy who escaped the collapse. I
really feel for their loss, as I have two sons myself, but I don't
understand what they were doing with their time that was so important that
their lack of attention cost them two of their children. I'm sure they'll
be more careful with their remaining children (I hope.)

Nanci K. in Idaho