Re: household Chores
Becky Wollenslegel
Erin wrote:
i may just be tired of the reminding, (we havent changed responsibilites for
want it > too (maybe they are older) or they are motivatied by an artificial
end like a > reward or withdrawal of priveledge, etc.
With so many little ones and everyone home all the time (if you'd just send
those kids to school they would stop messin' up your house!) you may have to
relax your standards. Maybe you are wanting to have your home look like
your mothers did when you were a child - and you were in school all day and
she was at home - or then again maybe you hated your mother's housekeeping
and vowed to never have a house like hers! Yikes!
My $.02 would be that if I was 10 yo and I had 3 younger siblings (doesn't
that sound better that 3 little brats) following me around messing up what I
just straightened, I would find it hard to be motivated!
My oldest was a mess maker and now she's the one following people around
picking up after them ("Where's my glass of water?" "Oh, I poured it out and
put it in the dishwasher!") My 2nd was a real helper as a child - cooked,
did laundry, whatever - now (at 18) his room, his car, the rest of the
house - all are dumping grounds for his stuff and he's out the door! You
just never know how things will turn out.
I'm sure it drives you crazy - but sometimes all you can do is take a deep
breath and chant "This too shall pass"
Good Luck - Becky in Ohio
i may just be tired of the reminding, (we havent changed responsibilites for
> over a year) it seems this time last year i was weary of the same thingnow
> that i recollect... i know that what is important to me (some semblanceof
> order and livability standards in the household) is not easily importantto
> them, and only becomes so with some sort of motivation. either they cometo > embrace the same standards bc they see it is important to me or they
want it > too (maybe they are older) or they are motivatied by an artificial
end like a > reward or withdrawal of priveledge, etc.
With so many little ones and everyone home all the time (if you'd just send
those kids to school they would stop messin' up your house!) you may have to
relax your standards. Maybe you are wanting to have your home look like
your mothers did when you were a child - and you were in school all day and
she was at home - or then again maybe you hated your mother's housekeeping
and vowed to never have a house like hers! Yikes!
My $.02 would be that if I was 10 yo and I had 3 younger siblings (doesn't
that sound better that 3 little brats) following me around messing up what I
just straightened, I would find it hard to be motivated!
My oldest was a mess maker and now she's the one following people around
picking up after them ("Where's my glass of water?" "Oh, I poured it out and
put it in the dishwasher!") My 2nd was a real helper as a child - cooked,
did laundry, whatever - now (at 18) his room, his car, the rest of the
house - all are dumping grounds for his stuff and he's out the door! You
just never know how things will turn out.
I'm sure it drives you crazy - but sometimes all you can do is take a deep
breath and chant "This too shall pass"
Good Luck - Becky in Ohio
Jeff & Diane Gwirtz
> it seems like i am hearing that moms should just do it? the housework iWell.......this mom doesn't just do it. For me to have time to
> mean? that certainly would be easier in many ways than trying to train up
> the help....
>
help my children with the things they want to do to pursue their
unschooling, I need some help around here. They understand that,
and although I'm sure they don't look forward to it, they are very
willing to help. They've been responsible for their own rooms for
as long as I can remember and beyond that, they've always had a chore a
day - like vacuuming, cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors, wiping down
bathrooms, etc. In the early days, I had to remind them and insist
that they do them, but it's become second nature after all this
time. Now my 19 year old is living on her own, and while I thought
that was going to mean more chores for my son and I , we've
discovered that we don't have to do certain chores as often with her
gone - one less person, you know - and the messiest member of the
family at that !!
Diane from KS
jagwirtz@...
[email protected]
hi becky -- thnx 4 your thoughts too! how old are your kids now?
it seems like i am hearing that moms should just do it? the housework i
mean? that certainly would be easier in many ways than trying to train up
the help....
i guess i want to know if that is what the unschooling way of approaching
housework is? mom does it always unless she is lucky enough to have a
naturally neat child grow up in the household and help? (not that there is
only one way, i am just trying to grasp another way to look at this)
no assigning and directing, no charts and reminding?
i have not read the alfie kohen books and wonder if they would help me here,
also the natural child website that was mentioned a while back about
non-coersion...(sp?)
i am really curious folks! would you help me out with your perspective on
this if you can? ty!
erin
it seems like i am hearing that moms should just do it? the housework i
mean? that certainly would be easier in many ways than trying to train up
the help....
i guess i want to know if that is what the unschooling way of approaching
housework is? mom does it always unless she is lucky enough to have a
naturally neat child grow up in the household and help? (not that there is
only one way, i am just trying to grasp another way to look at this)
no assigning and directing, no charts and reminding?
i have not read the alfie kohen books and wonder if they would help me here,
also the natural child website that was mentioned a while back about
non-coersion...(sp?)
i am really curious folks! would you help me out with your perspective on
this if you can? ty!
erin
Mary E Gates
I'm one who gets irritable when the house gets TOO cluttered. Messed up
with my 1st dd as I did stuff myself bc it was faster. 2nd dd loves to
"help" (sometimes & she's 4), my GOAL is to cheerfully let her do it,
even though it takes longer and doesn't get done as well. But how else
can you get better, than by practice? Take advantage of young children
wanting to do everything you do.
IMO, learning to keep a house is an important skill for males and
females(not necessarily immaculate, but at least the basics). Have to
agree with whoever said that kids will learn how if they perceive it as
useful. (ie, see how it's easier to find the toy you want when they are
put in place?)
Lots of good books out there on how to get organized and reduce clutter.
Also try "401 ways to get your kids to work" or something like that. I'm
trying to find the balance between "simplifying" and having stuff I want
around.
Zone theory is helpful too. Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys.
Mary Ellen
who vacuumed yesterday so my house looks clean today.
with my 1st dd as I did stuff myself bc it was faster. 2nd dd loves to
"help" (sometimes & she's 4), my GOAL is to cheerfully let her do it,
even though it takes longer and doesn't get done as well. But how else
can you get better, than by practice? Take advantage of young children
wanting to do everything you do.
IMO, learning to keep a house is an important skill for males and
females(not necessarily immaculate, but at least the basics). Have to
agree with whoever said that kids will learn how if they perceive it as
useful. (ie, see how it's easier to find the toy you want when they are
put in place?)
Lots of good books out there on how to get organized and reduce clutter.
Also try "401 ways to get your kids to work" or something like that. I'm
trying to find the balance between "simplifying" and having stuff I want
around.
Zone theory is helpful too. Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys.
Mary Ellen
who vacuumed yesterday so my house looks clean today.
Michele Moss
> From: Naykki2@...you mean i'm not the only one with a cardboard box house in my
>
> What with the doll house, the Lincoln logs, my daughter's art
> projects and the large, heavily decorated "house" made out of a
> cardboard box, we give a rather.....busy first impression.
>
house? Sterling was having so much fun with the dryer box that hubby
came home with one of those tall boxes that refrigerators are shipped
in! it's been used lying on it's side as a bus, tractor trailer
truck, train, etc, etc. fantastic imaginative fun!
Michele Moss
Mom of Sterling Tyler age 3 yrs old
Parents of Spirited Kids Resource Web site:
http://www.icstech.net/~michele
Parents of Spirited Kids Discussion Group:
http://www.egroups.com/list/psk
[email protected]
In a message dated 99-08-28 15:51:19 EDT, you write:
<< Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys. >>
Oh no! <g> We made the living room into a play room for the kids. The
family room is larger so that's where the couch, TV, etc. are. However, the
living room is the first thing someone sees when they walk in the front door.
In fact, that's what people see when they're out on the front porch <g>.
What with the doll house, the Lincoln logs, my daughter's art projects and
the large, heavily decorated "house" made out of a cardboard box, we give a
rather.....busy first impression.
OTOH, when they walk past the play room to the very sunlit, fairly clear (at
least some days <g>) and open family room, they'll get a good second
impression.
Laura
<< Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys. >>
Oh no! <g> We made the living room into a play room for the kids. The
family room is larger so that's where the couch, TV, etc. are. However, the
living room is the first thing someone sees when they walk in the front door.
In fact, that's what people see when they're out on the front porch <g>.
What with the doll house, the Lincoln logs, my daughter's art projects and
the large, heavily decorated "house" made out of a cardboard box, we give a
rather.....busy first impression.
OTOH, when they walk past the play room to the very sunlit, fairly clear (at
least some days <g>) and open family room, they'll get a good second
impression.
Laura
A.Y.
You know, this brings to mind something somebody did to be when i was feeling
quite the failure in the housekeeping dept. Think about when your kids and
their friends are older, do you want them to look back and remember what a nice
clean house you had, or..... Wow, wasn't it fun at the (whoever's) house? It
was so great there. We got to do everything.
That really made me think a bit about why it bothered me so much.
Ann
quite the failure in the housekeeping dept. Think about when your kids and
their friends are older, do you want them to look back and remember what a nice
clean house you had, or..... Wow, wasn't it fun at the (whoever's) house? It
was so great there. We got to do everything.
That really made me think a bit about why it bothered me so much.
Ann
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/29/99 6:20:53 AM !!!First Boot!!!, michele@...
writes:
<< >
house? Sterling was having >>
Well, originally they were supposed to be storage boxes so Mom could get all
of her files organized. Then my daughter saw them -- now they are houses,
castles, boats, etc., cut and taped over and again. I guess I better go buy
myself some more storage boxes and hide them!
Take care.
Nance
writes:
<< >
> What with the doll house, the Lincoln logs, my daughter's artyou mean i'm not the only one with a cardboard box house in my
> projects and the large, heavily decorated "house" made out of a
> cardboard box, we give a rather.....busy first impression.
>
house? Sterling was having >>
Well, originally they were supposed to be storage boxes so Mom could get all
of her files organized. Then my daughter saw them -- now they are houses,
castles, boats, etc., cut and taped over and again. I guess I better go buy
myself some more storage boxes and hide them!
Take care.
Nance
[email protected]
diane,
glad to hear it eventually became second nature, i think that hope will keep
me going. it does take everyone pitching in, i will try to keep that spirit
alive, after all, we all benefit...
erin
glad to hear it eventually became second nature, i think that hope will keep
me going. it does take everyone pitching in, i will try to keep that spirit
alive, after all, we all benefit...
erin
Michele Moss
> From: Marbleface@...this reminds me of a book we stumbled upon at the library a few
>
>
> Well, originally they were supposed to be storage boxes so Mom could
> get all of her files organized. Then my daughter saw them -- now
> they are houses, castles, boats, etc., cut and taped over and again.
months back called "The Box" (can't remember the author). The
daughter loves boxes and confiscates one from her Mom before letting
it go out to the trash. The story takes the box from one thing to
another as it begins to fall apart and get so worn. The Mom keeps
thinking it's ready for the trash but the daughter turns it into yet
another thing but cutting here, taping there. finally toward the
end when it won't even stand upright anymore, she flattens it out
and uses it as the "ballroom dance floor". real cute story that
encourages creativity and imagination on every page. i tried to
find it at Barnes and Noble online and couldn't even find it in the
"out of print" section. but maybe your local libraries will have it
for all the box lovers out there!
> I guess I better go buy myself some more storage boxes and hidegood luck trying to hide them! <G>
> them!
>
> Take care.Michele Moss
>
> Nance
>
Mom of Sterling Tyler age 3 yrs old
Parents of Spirited Kids Resource Web site:
http://www.icstech.net/~michele
Parents of Spirited Kids Discussion Group:
http://www.egroups.com/list/psk
[email protected]
In a message dated 99-08-28 21:18:12 EDT, you write:
<<
From: Naykki2@...
In a message dated 99-08-28 15:51:19 EDT, you write:
<< Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys. >>
lucky to have a grandma like her). SHe said the meanest thing you can do to
a new mom is clean your house before she comes over.
I know I feel relieved whenever I see a messy house!
Rachael
<<
From: Naykki2@...
In a message dated 99-08-28 15:51:19 EDT, you write:
<< Which room do people see first when they
enter your house? If I keep that room fairly neat, visitor's FIRST
impression is of my "clean house" and they won't think as much about
dirty dishes or scattered toys. >>
>>I thought I would tell you what my grandma says, which I think is smart (I am
lucky to have a grandma like her). SHe said the meanest thing you can do to
a new mom is clean your house before she comes over.
I know I feel relieved whenever I see a messy house!
Rachael