Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1330
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/13/01 4:02:39 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
telling dh I wasn't real thrilled w/ what was coming home.
Teasing,taunting,treating us like 5 yr olds basically. Zoe is very reserved
so she watched everything then brought it home to try it out. We eventually
resorted to threats about the pool but soon gave that up b/c as we all know
this doesn't work. the kid behaves to get what they want not b/c they respect
you any more than before.
Also dh witnessed unattentive counselors and this sold him on quitting.
I agree socialization is really out in the world and it works better. i
plan to try and find others to get together w/ and we can supervise
behaviors. Also we may try the private school camp. I watched these children
at the library one day and there was no back biting and stealing and
such.Adults are the counselors there.
i do blame myself alot b/c I signed her up for this camp b/c it started
earlier and I needed the time to train for a goal. Selfish I know but she
also was dieing to play w/ others then again when ever I picked her up she
was playing alone. Most of the kids new eachother from daycare and preschool.
At 5 they tend to stick together and like only one other playpal. 3 is
definitely a crowd at this age.
Oh and while I was away dh took her to a friends house to play w/ her 2
younger brothers 4 and 6 and he said they had an absolute blast and never got
nasty or rude. Unfortunately these boys live here and in another state so it
is sporadic.:o(
OK enough of my 2 cents. :o)
NICKI~
[email protected] writes:
<< The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
>>Dawn, BTDT just this summer. Zoe quit camp on her own on Monday. I kept
telling dh I wasn't real thrilled w/ what was coming home.
Teasing,taunting,treating us like 5 yr olds basically. Zoe is very reserved
so she watched everything then brought it home to try it out. We eventually
resorted to threats about the pool but soon gave that up b/c as we all know
this doesn't work. the kid behaves to get what they want not b/c they respect
you any more than before.
Also dh witnessed unattentive counselors and this sold him on quitting.
I agree socialization is really out in the world and it works better. i
plan to try and find others to get together w/ and we can supervise
behaviors. Also we may try the private school camp. I watched these children
at the library one day and there was no back biting and stealing and
such.Adults are the counselors there.
i do blame myself alot b/c I signed her up for this camp b/c it started
earlier and I needed the time to train for a goal. Selfish I know but she
also was dieing to play w/ others then again when ever I picked her up she
was playing alone. Most of the kids new eachother from daycare and preschool.
At 5 they tend to stick together and like only one other playpal. 3 is
definitely a crowd at this age.
Oh and while I was away dh took her to a friends house to play w/ her 2
younger brothers 4 and 6 and he said they had an absolute blast and never got
nasty or rude. Unfortunately these boys live here and in another state so it
is sporadic.:o(
OK enough of my 2 cents. :o)
NICKI~
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/13/01 4:02:39 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< I have 5 kids, 4 which are school age. My girls complain here and
there about not being around a bunch of kids like they use to when
they where in school. But I think they romanticize about it. I
remember them always complaining about someone's behavior when they
got home and I was soooo sick of it. I have always taught our kids to
be respectful to others. I know they are not perfect, but from what
I see from some other kids (not all schooled kids) they are pretty
darn nice.
Laura
experience. Any tips. She doesn't care some days. Then I get pissed
eventually and start threatening to take away pool priveledges. Which seems
ridiculous to me since it isn't related,not a natural consequence. But I get
caught up. I have told her when she speaks disrespectfully to me I will not
listen and I will not do things for her.
EX: Get me some juice! I then go about my business and ignore the nasty
request.She then will change her tune and I gladly get the juice. I guess
maybe time will heal this. Hopefully b/c rude behaviors like this are
hotbuttons for me. As a child I was flicked in the mouth for such talk.
NICKI~
[email protected] writes:
<< I have 5 kids, 4 which are school age. My girls complain here and
there about not being around a bunch of kids like they use to when
they where in school. But I think they romanticize about it. I
remember them always complaining about someone's behavior when they
got home and I was soooo sick of it. I have always taught our kids to
be respectful to others. I know they are not perfect, but from what
I see from some other kids (not all schooled kids) they are pretty
darn nice.
Laura
>>I am having to re teach my dd respectful behavior since our camp
experience. Any tips. She doesn't care some days. Then I get pissed
eventually and start threatening to take away pool priveledges. Which seems
ridiculous to me since it isn't related,not a natural consequence. But I get
caught up. I have told her when she speaks disrespectfully to me I will not
listen and I will not do things for her.
EX: Get me some juice! I then go about my business and ignore the nasty
request.She then will change her tune and I gladly get the juice. I guess
maybe time will heal this. Hopefully b/c rude behaviors like this are
hotbuttons for me. As a child I was flicked in the mouth for such talk.
NICKI~
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/13/01 10:53:07 PM, RValvo7626@... writes:
<< Any tips. She doesn't care some days. Then I get pissed
eventually and start threatening to take away pool priveledges. Which seems
ridiculous to me since it isn't related,not a natural consequence. >>
She'll need time to recover from the stresses of camp. Even things that seem
up and good can be big stressors.
Maybe instead of ignoring her you could ask her compassionately and
sympathetically things like "At camp did people just tell you to do things
without saying please?" and if she says "yes" then you could say "I'm really
sorry they were that way" and hug her.
Tone of voice is everything on those things. You have to really think for
that moment not "She's being rude to ME" but rather "someone has been rude to
her."
If as a child you were flicked for that, remember your own little self and do
what you wish your mom had done instead of hurting you, maybe.
Sandra
who has had all those things happen except the flicking; I was called names
instead
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
http://expage.com/RadicalUnschooling
<< Any tips. She doesn't care some days. Then I get pissed
eventually and start threatening to take away pool priveledges. Which seems
ridiculous to me since it isn't related,not a natural consequence. >>
She'll need time to recover from the stresses of camp. Even things that seem
up and good can be big stressors.
Maybe instead of ignoring her you could ask her compassionately and
sympathetically things like "At camp did people just tell you to do things
without saying please?" and if she says "yes" then you could say "I'm really
sorry they were that way" and hug her.
Tone of voice is everything on those things. You have to really think for
that moment not "She's being rude to ME" but rather "someone has been rude to
her."
If as a child you were flicked for that, remember your own little self and do
what you wish your mom had done instead of hurting you, maybe.
Sandra
who has had all those things happen except the flicking; I was called names
instead
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sandra
"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDodd
http://expage.com/RadicalUnschooling