Socialization - Am I Crazy?
[email protected]
I needed some feedback... Hubby and I have been researching
unschooling for about 3 years and it seems the way to go. In the
meantime I put my 5 1/2 yr old in a summer program and this is my
experience so far (6 weeks into it)... I'd love some feedback that
I'm not crazy... and going in the "right" direction.
The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
Yesterday afternoon his grandma and grandpa picked him up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
unschooling for about 3 years and it seems the way to go. In the
meantime I put my 5 1/2 yr old in a summer program and this is my
experience so far (6 weeks into it)... I'd love some feedback that
I'm not crazy... and going in the "right" direction.
The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
Yesterday afternoon his grandma and grandpa picked him up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
Jon and Rue Kream
It's only "part of life" because people have been so brainwashed to believe
that it has to be. We unschool, and teasing is not part of our lives. You
can choose what kind of socialization is important to you. I'd much rather
an afternoon with Grampa than a day with a bunch of unhappy kids who take
out their frustration on the kids around them. Top that off with some
adults who think kids should have to go through it, and you couldn't pay ME
$500 a month to go :). I wouldn't be too concerned about socialization.
You really can't do anything in life without socializing to some extent.
Your son will just be able to do so with a wider variety of people than the
average school kid, and will most likely not feel any need to torment others
since his sense of self and freedom will be encouraged instead of trampled.
I guess I could have just said, No, you're not crazy, huh? ~Rue
-----Original Message-----
From: NumoAstro@... [mailto:NumoAstro@...]
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2001 10:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Socialization - Am I Crazy?
I needed some feedback... Hubby and I have been researching
unschooling for about 3 years and it seems the way to go. In the
meantime I put my 5 1/2 yr old in a summer program and this is my
experience so far (6 weeks into it)... I'd love some feedback that
I'm not crazy... and going in the "right" direction.
The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
Yesterday afternoon his grandma and grandpa picked him up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
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that it has to be. We unschool, and teasing is not part of our lives. You
can choose what kind of socialization is important to you. I'd much rather
an afternoon with Grampa than a day with a bunch of unhappy kids who take
out their frustration on the kids around them. Top that off with some
adults who think kids should have to go through it, and you couldn't pay ME
$500 a month to go :). I wouldn't be too concerned about socialization.
You really can't do anything in life without socializing to some extent.
Your son will just be able to do so with a wider variety of people than the
average school kid, and will most likely not feel any need to torment others
since his sense of self and freedom will be encouraged instead of trampled.
I guess I could have just said, No, you're not crazy, huh? ~Rue
-----Original Message-----
From: NumoAstro@... [mailto:NumoAstro@...]
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2001 10:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Socialization - Am I Crazy?
I needed some feedback... Hubby and I have been researching
unschooling for about 3 years and it seems the way to go. In the
meantime I put my 5 1/2 yr old in a summer program and this is my
experience so far (6 weeks into it)... I'd love some feedback that
I'm not crazy... and going in the "right" direction.
The kinds of socialization that Zak has learned that other kids do
and thereby copies most of it have been:
teasing over cherished toys brought to school (such as his baby)
being called pinhead or butthead
being hit or kick by aggressive children
spitting
shouting and screaming when he doesn't get his own way at home.
Needless to say he's coming out of there today!!!!! It's also been
costing us $500 a month to send him to this great place of
socialization. I know that Zak loves to be with other kids, but I
don't think these are the kids he needs to be with. He doesn't like
the teasing and we have talked and talked to the teachers. Basically
their attitude is "all kids have to go through this" or "it's part of
life".... My life does not include anyone who displays the above
behavior... None of my friends spit at me or tease me, so how is this
a part of life?
I guess we realized that we are very concerned about our son's
socialization and healthy socialization is what we are looking for.
Yesterday afternoon his grandma and grandpa picked him up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/12/01 11:13:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization? >>
Sounds wonderful!!
Amy
Amy Kagey
Usborne Books consultant....books kids love!
Visit my website to view a catalog,
to register for $50 in free books or set up an e-show!
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/z0939">Usborne Books Online Sales</A>
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< Doesn't that sound more like
healthy socialization? >>
Sounds wonderful!!
Amy
Amy Kagey
Usborne Books consultant....books kids love!
Visit my website to view a catalog,
to register for $50 in free books or set up an e-show!
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/z0939">Usborne Books Online Sales</A>
A
This is not what I call socialization...this is negative peer pressure. I am
very concerned about the influences n my children's life, and it is very
difficult to find children (even homeschooled) that I think are worth their
time. We don't do alot of play dates ect because of this reason. My
children love to play with one another, and they love being around me, their
father, and their Grandmother (who lives up the driveway)
They are happy children, healthy...and very busy. They also don't have any
of those negative type behaviors. We have just had company twice, and they
both had children. There was a MAJOR difference in their behavior and my
children's behavior.
Let me give you one example from many....
All the kids were swimming...my son (age 8) said to our visitor girl (also 8)
that there was a wolf spider on her head. (no adult heard this to this
point) She came yelling to her Mother that my son had said there was a
spider on her... Her Mother laughed and said, "Well, I think he just has
your number (meaning her was teasing her) Well, I was quite surprised..and
so was my son...he was truthfully telling her there was a spider on her, and
was going to get it off of her. I was so surprised to realize that this type
of teasing is so commonplace, that the Mother immediately thinks like this
too. It really struck me....my kids do not tease each other like this..it is
just not done in our house.
My children also relate well to adults. This is something that schooled
children are not very strong on... But, I know some homeschooled children
who are also like this.
Socialization is not just playing with others of ones age. Socialization is
being around all people...of all types, all ages, all everything. My kids
spend much more time around adults, and are none the worse for wear.
:)
Guess I've rattled on long enough...I hope this helps.
Ann
very concerned about the influences n my children's life, and it is very
difficult to find children (even homeschooled) that I think are worth their
time. We don't do alot of play dates ect because of this reason. My
children love to play with one another, and they love being around me, their
father, and their Grandmother (who lives up the driveway)
They are happy children, healthy...and very busy. They also don't have any
of those negative type behaviors. We have just had company twice, and they
both had children. There was a MAJOR difference in their behavior and my
children's behavior.
Let me give you one example from many....
All the kids were swimming...my son (age 8) said to our visitor girl (also 8)
that there was a wolf spider on her head. (no adult heard this to this
point) She came yelling to her Mother that my son had said there was a
spider on her... Her Mother laughed and said, "Well, I think he just has
your number (meaning her was teasing her) Well, I was quite surprised..and
so was my son...he was truthfully telling her there was a spider on her, and
was going to get it off of her. I was so surprised to realize that this type
of teasing is so commonplace, that the Mother immediately thinks like this
too. It really struck me....my kids do not tease each other like this..it is
just not done in our house.
My children also relate well to adults. This is something that schooled
children are not very strong on... But, I know some homeschooled children
who are also like this.
Socialization is not just playing with others of ones age. Socialization is
being around all people...of all types, all ages, all everything. My kids
spend much more time around adults, and are none the worse for wear.
:)
Guess I've rattled on long enough...I hope this helps.
Ann
[email protected]
Thanks Ann and Rue:
I calmed down quite a bit since I wrote the e-mail and it's wonderful to hear
from people that support my feeling that I'm doing the right thing in pulling
him out. As I was worried that I wouldn't be able to work in the day
time.... My nearly 2 year old took his nap and Zak sat in my office putting
charts in envelopes for me and putting stamps on the postcards I'm just about
to send out to my clients. He said "mummy, I love working in your office
with you, this is fun" which I thought was wonderful... I know we are making
the right decision.
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I calmed down quite a bit since I wrote the e-mail and it's wonderful to hear
from people that support my feeling that I'm doing the right thing in pulling
him out. As I was worried that I wouldn't be able to work in the day
time.... My nearly 2 year old took his nap and Zak sat in my office putting
charts in envelopes for me and putting stamps on the postcards I'm just about
to send out to my clients. He said "mummy, I love working in your office
with you, this is fun" which I thought was wonderful... I know we are making
the right decision.
Dawn
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dawn Falbe
Personal Development Coach
Relocational Astrologer
(520) 579-2646
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Path of Least Resistance is Inside of You
www.astrologerdawn.com
Enlightening women on how to live their Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world
are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and,
if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I have 5 kids, 4 which are school age. My girls complain here and
there about not being around a bunch of kids like they use to when
they where in school. But I think they romanticize about it. I
remember them always complaining about someone's behavior when they
got home and I was soooo sick of it. I have always taught our kids to
be respectful to others. I know they are not perfect, but from what
I see from some other kids (not all schooled kids) they are pretty
darn nice.
Laura
there about not being around a bunch of kids like they use to when
they where in school. But I think they romanticize about it. I
remember them always complaining about someone's behavior when they
got home and I was soooo sick of it. I have always taught our kids to
be respectful to others. I know they are not perfect, but from what
I see from some other kids (not all schooled kids) they are pretty
darn nice.
Laura
Tracy Oldfield
Yesterday afternoon his grandma and grandpa picked him
up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been
setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been
eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with
grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck
to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos
and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that
sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
Hi Dawn! Nice to see you again :-) Thanks for a great
reinforcement of why I don't want mine to go to
school!!! You're not crazy, and the grandparents stuff
sounds lovely, definitely more useful 'socialisation!'
I sometimes wonder if it would be worth my girls going
to school or something similar like this for a while so
that they know what it's like,a nd that we all know
what we're missing :-) But only sometimes...
Tracy
up from school
(early) and took him to their house. Grandpa had been
setting traps
(not ones that kill) for the squirrels that have been
eating their
flowers in the garden and Zak had a wonderful time with
grandpa
putting the squirrels in a box and going in the truck
to a wash where
they let them go. Then they played chess and dominos
and finally
daddy came to pick him up after work.... Doesn't that
sound more like
healthy socialization?
Dawn
Hi Dawn! Nice to see you again :-) Thanks for a great
reinforcement of why I don't want mine to go to
school!!! You're not crazy, and the grandparents stuff
sounds lovely, definitely more useful 'socialisation!'
I sometimes wonder if it would be worth my girls going
to school or something similar like this for a while so
that they know what it's like,a nd that we all know
what we're missing :-) But only sometimes...
Tracy