DiamondAir

> From: Nanci Kuykendall <aisliin@...>
> I guess I should post on this thread, since I
> inadvertantly started it with my thread on dubious
> "expert advice". Many of you know that I have an
> eldest son with many challenges that make him a daily
> struggle to raise. I am not certain from whence all
> his problems stem, but we know that he has agression
> and anger management issues, patience and attention
> span limitations, self control problems and explosive
> emotions, multiple severe allergies, asthma, eczema,
> and other issues. He is a bright child, and a joy
> sometimes, with a hyperactive imagination and a
> charming sense of humor. Most folks tell us that we
> are models of patience (which I often feel the
> opposite of) and that we are wonderful parents doing
> our best with a difficult child (when I often feel
> like the worst kind of miserable failure with him).
> My son right now is four and a half years old and we
> are struggling daily with the issue of potty training.


My heart goes out to you Nanci as we have been down some of the same path
with our own son (who is also 4 1/2). One thing I can tell you is that when
we finally got the food allergy issues straightened out, so much else
magically fell into line too that we were amazed. He instantly potty
trained, I could brush his teeth or his hair without a major battle, he
would go into a swimming pool willingly, go down slides and on swings, was
able to wear different kinds of clothes (he has been extremely sensitive to
textures, sounds, tastes, smells his whole life) so many things he had never
done before! In his case, most of his issues were centered around the whole
sensory integration issue, and the resulting motor coordination problems.
Once those became straightened out, he had so much incredibly less
frustrations in his daily life, and overstimulation, that everything else
just seemed to even out too.

If you haven't read them already, I found the following books to be
exceedingly helpful and important in our road to healing:

"The Out-of-sync Child" (don't forget the hyphens if you're doing a search
for this book) - about sensory integration
"Is This Your Child" - about how food allergies affect everything in a
person's life
"Say Goodbye to Illness" and "Say Goodbye to Allergy-related Autism" - about
NAET practices (which has been our saving grace), written by Dr. Nambudripad

Lastly, on the potty training, I know how difficult it is to have a child
who is 4 and not able to control their bowels/bladder. So many people think
they need to give well-meaning advice on this issue when they see a 4 year
old in diapers. And it begins to be emotionally telling on the child as
well, once he realizes that this is "different". If your child has no
control, daily battles are not going to change that, and only result in
heartbreak. For us, the potty issue was directly linked to the allergies, so
if you can find a way to alleviate the allergies, it might just magically
resolve itself. For us, that meant eliminating almost every food source on
earth it seemed, until we could get things under control. Then we started
the NAET treatments and have been able to add the foods back, a bit at a
time, with no adverse effects. That's just my experience, in case it helps!
Best of luck to you!!!!


> I can sympathise with Eileen, in her quest to deal
> with a child with no fear of danger, as I had one too.


I sympathize as this is my daughter to a "T", at 18 months I found her
swinging from a chandelier in the dining room. It was also me as a child, so
I feel really sorry for my parents! They were always taking me to the
emergency room, and these days probably would've received a visit or two
from CPS. I've broken 13 bones and gotten over 300 stitches in my life. And
now that I'm a "responsible" adult, my passions are things like skydiving,
LOL. I guess sometimes we don't totally grow out of it :-). I also have to
run my body *hard* every day or I have too much energy and I literally
jitter to pieces and can't sleep. So I understand to a certain extent what
these kids need and crave - it was me as a child and it still is today. I
also understand that when people say "kids will learn their limits" that
this isn't always strictly true. Some people have a hard time feeling their
limits and this can be both a good and a bad thing. Being in the world of
skydiving, I've come into contact with quite a few of these people :-).


> If he didn't want to be in a
> cart or his stroller (and believe me, we had plenty of
> battles over it) we didn't go. I spent a lot of time
> at home his first three years

Ah, this sounds familiar. There was quite a time period where
grocery shopping was just impossible for us. My son was *not* into being
restrained. I don't think he has ever ridden in a grocery cart, LOL! I used
to see other kids riding in the fronts of the carts and wonder how the heck
their parents got them to do that. My DH got good at shopping at nighttime
with my illegible lists :-)


Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) inventer of new and wonderful things
and Asa (10/5/99) singer of protest songs
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family