ambersand

"It's very widely understood that special kids, especially those with autism, need structure much more than regular kids. I'll grant that this is true until proven otherwise, because I know of one autistic boy who is so routine-centered that he gets upset if his father takes a different route while driving him to his school or if his teacher deviates from the daily schedule.

Are there any parents of special needs kids in the group? I'm not referring to dyslexia or ADD, but challenges like Down's Syndrome and autism."

A friend has an 8yo autistic son. They started homeschooling two years ago because the ps would not put him in a class where he could start learning to read, like regular 1st grade. The ps said he was not able to function at that level. He reads very well now but they do not unschool. He has a lot of structure and they do a lot of unit studies. My friend believes that homeschooling is okay for some and even though her son has done well at home she would never consider letting her older daughter stay home.

Although her son has a lot of structure and repitition, I don't know how he would do otherwise. Everyone, except us, says that ALL children need structure and discipline, but we know different. It could be that way with autistic kids too. Maybe autistic people are like all other people - some people like or need or enjoy more structure than others. While at the other end of the spectrum, some want no form of stucture in their life. I think if I were to make our days super structured and then, all of the sudden, change something in the routine, my kids would freak too. I guess I hate it when people say what a "whole" group, like kids, need or want, instead of looking at the individual in that group. Maybe ALL autistic kids DO need structure....... BUT THEY STILL DON'T NEED SCHOOL. (I couldn't stand it - I had to throw that in.)

ambersand

Eileen M.

My child was not diagnosed officially (we didn't have
insurance at the time), but his pediatrician felt that
he was definitely on that spectrum, smackdab in the
middle at least. I am not a structured person. He
was overexcitable as far as stimuli goes, so I took
down the pics on the walls and allowed him to set his
own pace... the only real structure we had was that I
did 'holding' per the book 'Holding Time' every day...
we both hated it, but within two weeks of starting it
he was talking a bit and meeting our eyes f the first
time in two years, so we did it. He was happy,
confident, curious and exploring between the ages of
two and four (until four he was home with me
twentyfour hours a day)... distractible, overwhelmed
by stimuli easily, not terrifically relational on more
than a very glancing way, but affectionate in a
hug-and-run way.

Then I put him in a Montessori preschool. Very
structured... the kids weren't told what activities
they should do individually, but there were expected
routines for everything, and the group activities were
highly structured. It was *horrible*. He lost his
potty training, started sucking his thumb again, began
head-banging again, started physically attacking the
other kids at random... stressed, stressed, stressed.

He was really damaged there. I was dumb enough to
keep him in school... I didn't know about
unschooling.... but at least I moved him to another,
less structured program and teacher. He did really
well. Then he tested into a gifted magnet... back
into a structured program, and I didn't recognize that
it was stressful for him (there were other problems
with the preschool teacher, and I attributed the
stress to her personality and the Montessori
philosophy, which was only partly the case). He's
been increasingly unhappy. This is only partially due
to the structure; but he *isn't* happy with the
structure. He is *sooooo* happy and relaxed in the
summer, adn soooooooooo stressed and unhappy in
school. I'm so *glad* we won't be doing that anymore!

Eileen


--- ambersand <ambersand@...> wrote:

> Everyone, except us, says that ALL children need
> structure and discipline, but we know different. It
> could be that way with autistic kids too. Maybe
> autistic people are like all other people - some
> people like or need or enjoy more structure than
> others. While at the other end of the spectrum,
> some want no form of stucture in their life. I
> think if I were to make our days super structured
> and then, all of the sudden, change something in the
> routine, my kids would freak too.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/